Japanese beer for kids
I had to read this guest post from Owl Meat Gravy twice, I was so shocked this even exists:
Kidsbeer! Kidsbeer! Kidsbeer!
The Tomomasu company of Japan once made a non-alcoholic drink for kids chock full of the guarana (twice the caffeine of coffee), with enough kick to have the little ones running up the walls.
It didn't sell very well, so they put it in a brown bottle and changed the name to Kidsbeer.
Whoosh ... turning your kid into a kinder-meth-head is much more attractive when it seems like you're getting them drunk. All the chore-doing benefits of kiddie Red Bull combined with the gateway drug priming for later alcoholism.
Kidsbeer! And I thought Shirley Temples were weird. Why not rename this an Amy Winehouse?
Note: The photo above is from the company's actual ads ...
Before rebranding they decreased the sweetness and increased its frothiness.
Mmm... frothy.
Satoshi Tomoda, company president said, "Children copy and mimic adults. If you get this drink ready on such occasions as events and celebrations attended by kids, it would make the occasions even more entertaining." I'll bet.
"Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink," is Kidsbeer's slogan.
Hang on kids, maybe it will come to the U.S, soon. Now if only we could get candy cigarettes back, because nothing goes with a Kidsbeer like a kid's Camel filterless.
(Photo courtesy of Kaku Kurita/Gamma)
Categories: Bars & Clubs, Drink-ology, Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
Is it Good to give beer to kids?
Posted by: Baltimore plastic surgeon | May 23, 2009 11:36 AM
Red bull that looks like beer for kids? That's all kinds of messed up. LOL
Posted by: jdog | May 23, 2009 11:59 AM
The image of tiny Japanese speed freaks running around in circles is hilarious.
Posted by: die zombie die | May 23, 2009 12:10 PM
"Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink,"
Tell me about it
Posted by: jen | May 23, 2009 12:15 PM
The Tomomasu company, training tomorrow's Salarymen.
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | May 23, 2009 3:36 PM
I thought this was really inappropriate until I realized that it wasn't made out of children. Otherwise, it sounds wonderful.
Posted by: TerrierMom | May 23, 2009 4:43 PM
I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!
I can't believe that Sam would let someone write his blog that would encourage children to drink!!!
Posted by: Sue Hopper | May 23, 2009 6:25 PM
You shouldn't be so judgemental Owl Meat. Other cultures have different attitudes and I don't think Japan or France have the same problems with alcoholism and binge drinking that we do. Kids always imitate adults
Posted by: cap pete | May 23, 2009 7:47 PM
ha those kids are funny. I think you made this up
Posted by: bigdawgha | May 24, 2009 3:09 PM
Why not rename this an Amy Winehouse?
good one Owl!
Posted by: PCB Rob | May 24, 2009 7:28 PM
Are comments only being approved during banking hours?
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | May 25, 2009 11:50 AM
Oky now I KNOW KNOW KNOW you're not for real Sue Hopper. Thanks for the entertainment.
Quite obviously I think it's a ridiculous product.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 25, 2009 10:05 PM
Good point RoCK. There is a culture of wild binge drinnking among Salarymen (business men) in Japan that is kind of crazy. Well, pretty much like the guys on Mad Men drank.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 25, 2009 10:51 PM
Sue Hopper,
Is your purpose in life to be the righteous contrary curmudgeon of this blog during Sam’s absence of every posted topic.
“I can't believe that Sam would let someone write his blog that would encourage children to drink!!!”
I thought the sarcastic point of this posting was is this product for real and why would such a culture would tolerate such a line of products, but that’s merely my opinion.
Posted by: GDA | May 25, 2009 10:54 PM
GDA, right you are sir!
Can you imagine the holy furor if something like this was marketed in the U.S.?
It's the marketing that's weird and inappropriate. The product itself is just a frothy caffeine drink. People give kids caffeine all the time in the U.S. Ironically, there is a photo of me and my friends all drinking generic cola on yesterday's Dining@Large post.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 3:44 PM
Sue Hopper, I assume you will join my crusade against root beer. It clearly encourages children to drink alcohol too. Can I count on your support?
Posted by: Amanda C | May 26, 2009 3:48 PM
Is it Good to give beer to kids?
Posted by: Baltimore plastic surgeon
I need a crash cart stat! We've got a surgeon down. Dr. Basner's humor is falling fast. Push IV Stooges and a unit of O PositivelyHilarious! CLEAR. We're losing him DAMMIT! I'm a writer not God! Come on, you maginificent bastard, don't you die on me. Paddles! CLEAR. .... beep beep ... beep beep ... Great. He's stabilizing at Road Runner levels. I think he'll be okay.
(I assume you were being sarcastic Dr. B, but I saw a window for fun. Thanks for visiting. :-)
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 4:17 PM
I should have given you a source or link for this story, so that you know it's not a prank. Here is one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/1496661/Children-cant-stand-life-unless-they-drink-says-Kids-Beer-slogan.html
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 4:28 PM
As I sometimes do at D@L, I must reveal my suspicion that "Sue Hopper", is really the OMG. Your phrasing and cadence give it away, IMO.
Posted by: LEC | May 26, 2009 4:31 PM
It hurt my brain but I reached back into the part that studied Japanese. The label on the bottle says in part in hiragana こども or "kodomo" which means child.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 4:36 PM
LEC, my original response seems to have gotten lost. Again, no that's definitely not me. Nor am I whoever is poking fun of "Sue Hopper", such as Sioux Hophead or whatever. Not that I don't appreciate the creative effort. I would have been much more hurtful in specific ways. As a recovering Irish-Catholic I am really good at finding fault in myself.
B>)
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 27, 2009 12:19 PM
OMG how is this not regulated?
Posted by: Crash Cart | September 22, 2010 12:13 PM