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March 31, 2009

The Tale of Little Havana and the MIZOD

little havana baltimoreThe more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of boiling down Little Havana's zoning issues into a children's story.

In case you're new to this little saga, read yesterday's post and Midnight Sun Mixologist Evan's post on his blog.

I have spoken with Little Havana's owners, and the city council is currently figuring out a way to keep them here. And before we get started, know this: MIZOD stands for Maritime Industrial Zoning Overlay District.

I'll keep you posted on all that serious stuff.

But for now, please read and enjoy the Tale of Little Havana and the MIZOD ...

For many years, Little Havana lived in a house down by the harbor. She liked it there, and many people came to see her.

When Little Havana first built her shanty by the sea, not many other people lived nearby. She didn't have neighbors, and would have been lonely if it weren't for all of her guests.

But as time went by, the land around Little Havana's home began to change. More and more people came and built homes on the street by the harbor. Suddenly, everybody wanted a home by the harbor.

At first this was a good thing, and Little Havana welcomed the company. But more and more neighbors kept moving in. These neighbors wanted to keep building more and more houses, but Little Havana's home was in the way.

little havana baltimoreLittle Havana was sad. She knew she would have to find a new place to live, so she started looking for other homes. She didn't want to move far, and found a new home just down the street from her old one.

"Hurray, a new home," she thought. "Now I can have all my friends over again!"

Little did Little Havana know, but there was a big problem with her new home. She was so happy to buy it, she didn't realize the house was right next to the Land of the MIZOD.

The MIZOD was a kingdom of loud, smokey factories where big ships came and went. The MIZOD had been that way for many, many years, and didn't like change.

The MIZOD Minions didn't want Little Havana moving in by them, and decided to do anything they could to stop her.

Little Havana was all set to move into her new home. But just before she could, MIZOD Minions crept in and claimed it for themselves. Suddenly, Little Havana's new house belonged to the Land of the MIZOD, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Sad and frustrated, Little Havana went to the castle where the Queen of the Land and all of the Queen's advisers sat. Little Havana pleaded with them to push back the MIZOD so she could move into her new home.

The Queen's advisers leaned back, scratched their heads, rubbed their bellies and thought about it. They thought and thought and thought, and finally, after weeks of thinking, they had something to say.

"The MIZOD is too strong -- we can't fight it," the Queen's advisers told Little Havana. "But there is something we might be able to do."

To be continued ...

(Sun archive photos)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 9:40 AM | | Comments (14)
Categories: Bars & Clubs


Well done, very creative. Why isn't all news written to a first grade level? :)

Hee hee. Believe it or not, this was really tough. I always respected children's book authors, but now I respect 'em even more.

There has got to be an enterprising MICA student who would illustrate this for you.

maybe you can turn this into an arcade game, "The Legend of Havana's"

Does it make me really, really stupid that I only now really understand the issue after reading it in child form? Wow.

This is totally sweet to the max.

They should buy the Queen some shoes. I hear that works.

Ted is right. Grease the palm.

pomme de terre is on to something here!

ts & Ted:
that would work except the queen has already been caught with buttered hands so the radar is on.
although i hear gift cards work well too.

Great idea SS2! Lovers of Little Havana should start sending Little Havana giftcards to the Queen and members of her Royal Court ... those pork cubes and black bean cakes are so darn good that it just might work!

i feel that we have been unfairly represented in the above article. its not that we dont like change, its that we dont like yuppie scum and the soccer moms they seem to bring with them. the yuppie scum that pay the taxes that fixes the roads that we destroy. the yuppie scum that want to be near the water that we have already rendered useless. the yuppie scum that are the backbone of the revival of this city. yeah, we don't like them. and we dont like the change.that you are talking about. we like the change that keeps things the get your restaurants and other plans out of our way. we have stuff to do.

What the Queen and her court jesters should remember is that the commoners vote to make sure she stays the Queen? If the commoners want (which is the fact) Little Havana to move to her new home, than the Queen should allow it. Otherwise she may become the "Queen who fell from grace".

Wasn't Tim's attorney also the campaign treasurer for O'Malley?

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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