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January 26, 2009

Tim Lumber's Q&A

Here is Tim Lumber's new column, where he goes rogue and interviews coworkers:

As soon as i got to work today,i decided why work? Instead I will interview some of the local drunk's that i just happen to work with!

I work in a manufacturing plant, so there's alot of people here who like to party hardy! I thought the first person i will ask a drinking question to is my boss.

I thought once i involve him in my column, he will probally let me walk around all day, and just interview people!

I asked my boss, whats your craziest drinking memory? He replied" One time i was so drunk i went To McDonalds and the lady was green!"

My first opinion was i think he was doing more than drinking! That or he was abducted by aliens,and they just happen to have a McDonalds in outer space! ...

 

After that i decided i would interview the machine operator i work with. i asked him, whats the craziest thing you ever did while you were drinking? He said "shooting my gun,i didn't know really where i was shooting,i was just laughing because i was so drunk!"

I know one thing, next time this guy drinks, somebody better buy him a straightjacket or he is going to kill someone! And i thought, this guy asked me to go to the bar with him last week!

After that interview, i decid ed to go hide somewhere! So i went in the back and fell asleep, until my calculator alarm watch went off! I woke up, and clocked out, i have to say, it was a easy day at work today!!!   

By Tim Lumber


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Posted by Sam Sessa at 3:21 PM | | Comments (11)
        

Comments

In the interest of fair play,
What was your extraordinary drinking or drunk moment? (of course we realize it needs to be one that'll make it pass The Sun's standards and practices or they may make you walk the plank.)
and
What inspired this particular line of questioning?
After your day you should be well refreshed with a sharp memory.

Inquiring minds wanna know!

I decided i want to show the readers Im very capable of putting together a intelligent story...i believe this will go down as one of the greatest Q and A's of all time!! This column should bring me respect..now that the bus carrying those Pittsburgh fans have left Baltimore! I think Im great at conducting world class interviews!! All yeah readers..its highly recomended when you read my story's that you drink a beer...or 2...or 3!!!

Quick note GDA..being a pirate writer i walk that plank ever day! Lucky i just happen to have a life jacket!!

Yes, Tim, I too would be interested in hearing about your extraordinary drinking experiences.

I, unfortunately, don't have any funny stories to tell. Just really, really stupid ones.

excellent job in not answering the actual question.

If its Tim Lumber drinking stories you want...than next week its Tim Lumber drinking story you shall recieve! Move over Edgar Allen Poe..Baltimore has a new drunk writer in town!!!!

Who?

Sam...did some of Tim's story get edited on the copy floor? It seems there are holes in this story and, knowing how Tim writes, this story could have gone on forever. I'd like to hear how the rest of his co-workers did on the drinking. Kind of scary when you think this is a manufacturing plant, right? Only in Baltimore......

RayRay that drunk writer just happens to be me!

I can't imagine how drunk you would have to be to see green people, I want to know. Since I am not a drinker can someone drink enough and post how many drinks it took to see green people, that'd be funny. Like seeing how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. Anyway, good story Tim, I definately want to hear more.

Thanks Buffie...yeah i have been pretty drunk in my day but i too have never seen green people! What ever my boss was drinking i need to buy some of that alchol!!! Jo yeah i work in a crazy manufacturing plant!

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at erik.maza@baltsun.com. Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.
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