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January 9, 2009

Introducing ... Tim Lumber!

liquor time!Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take a moment and introduce Tim Lumber, who will be writing occasional posts about his various exploits in and out of Baltimore bars.

Here is a brief bio Tim Lumber submitted to me: 

Name: Tim Lumber

Birthday: 4-21-1975

Hobby: Writing Fun and crazy stories

If readers want to E-Mail me, they can at My goal in life is to be one of the greatest writers to ever live. Im married to wife Mary Lumber with 2 step kids ...

I own my own Trailer Home (not sure if you want to put trailer home in bio...Ha Ha!).

If theres anything else you want me to include in Bio just let me know ... thanks alot Sam Sessa, i liked the Midnight Sun website alot !!  Look forward to being a part of it!!!!!!         

Stay tuned for Tim Lumber's first column on Monday.

(Photo from Sun archives)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 1:51 PM | | Comments (32)



between this, the news about Dixon and my discovery of John Deere fruit snacks this is shaping up to be the sweetest day ever.

Tips to help endear me to Lumber:

- Do not overuse the ellipsis (...). Use a period. The ellipsis is for trailing off... so if you trail off all of your sentences... me the reader finds you weak. Period.
- if what you wrote is funny, there is no need to write "Ha Ha!" or the dread "LOL"
- a lot is 2 words.

Godspeed and good luck, Tim Lumber.

Why Does tim lumber like Random Capitalization?

Are you serious about this Sam? Ensuring the welfare of your blog to a grammatical neophyte?

E$ and AC-M, Tim Lumber's grammar might take a little getting used to, but his enthusiasm is unparalleled. It's going to be quite the ride -- I'm sure of that.

Its not the grammar that scares me, its reading a nightlife blog written by someone who still has an AOL address.

he any relation to Tommy Timbertoes?

no picture, is this because you are getting to popular Sam.

...but AC-M I love the I am prone to trailing off...


can't wait to check out the new guy!

Congratulations Tim. Your writings are exciting and I can not wait to see what you write in 2009.

You're going to be great, Tim! And KAZ, I, too have an AOL email address. So why does that scare you so much? Really, get a life!

I have been reading your comments,and I'm feeling the hype! I can guarantee you crazy fool's this, that when monday morning arrives,it's going to be a 24 hour party 7 days a week in here!

Way to go Tim! Good Luck with your stories.

Evan i just wanted to say when i seen the YYYEEESSSS it inspired me! Thats the comments i hope to get! E$ i live in a trailer park pal. I use Randam Capatilization because im drunk most of the time when i write! AC-M thanks for the advice....i am still doing it huh? Old habits are hard to break! Kaz yes i use AOL, should i switch just for you? ss2 yes Tommy Timbertoes is my dad! queen_colleen thank you so much, your name rhymes, you have the coolest name on the site! Buffie and Pat thank you so much for them positive comments! I hope you stay fans after you read my storys! Any body else want to comment? I am a writer who loves to communicate with my readers! Please keep on commenting, i would love to see 100 comments on here! Thank You

Robert thank you for the positive comment!

Tim(ber) Lumber?

Is this a real person or a Sessa alter ego with a punny name?

Inquiring minds wanna know!


Have any of the local confectionaries sent you a John Deere letter yet?

Hey GDA,

As far as I know, Tim is a real person -- not one of my alter egos. His first column will post today.

GDA i would like this to become one of the great mysteries of writing! Am i real...or not? You decide for yourself, maybe in the next 20 years we will let you know the Truth! Until then you will have to play the role of inspector gadget...and try to find your own clues!

Tim Lumber,

Personal I'd prefer to be John Steed of The Avengers, more class, suave, clever with much better fashion sense.

Beware I don't do the Odd Job number with my Bowler!

Tim Lumber,

Would have better if I had include this last post.

The Avengers '66 (promo) - The strange case of the missing corpse:

Just because
Steed's partner, Mrs. Emma Peel Feature:

Emma Peel = M. Appeal = Male Appeal = a woman desirable to men

there needs to be a re(re-re)make of The Odd Couple starring Time Lumber and GDA


Do you want to play Murray? thats how you leave a comment in style! Emma Peel is fine like wine! I think i will save that on my computer! You gave me a great idea, once in a while i too, am going to leave something from you tube! Im gonna search the web for the craziest thing i can find, and leave it on my next comment! Evan i think you will be getting that lead role as Murray...Inspector Gadget...your career in hollywood is over!!!!

I couldnt figure out how to put you tube on here! Evan or GDA, i guess its up to you's to keep us you tubed entertained! My next column will probally be on here Monday, its a lot better than my first story! I will be on here that day! I kind of wrote 1st story Jacked at HammerJacks on 1 hour sleep, plus i was so drunk i could hardly see the keyboard! Evan after i seen the YYEESSS now world famous comment, i decided to write the next story that will be coming out soon!

GDA i liked the you tube piece! Emma is one hot detective! I think inspector gadgets days are done! Is Evan going to play the Murray role?


Hear that GDA Evan is playing the Murray role! Look out hollywood, theres a couple of new sheriffs in this acting town! Us 3 are coming to audition with beers in our hands!

Tim Lumber,

"Im gonna search the web for the craziest thing i can find"
My contribution,

“All This and World War II is a 1976 musical documentary that juxtaposes Beatles songs, performed by a number of musicians, with World War II newsreel footage and 20th Century Fox films from the 1940s.”

The soundtrack songs performances include The Bee Gees, Elton John (with John Lennon), Rod Steward, Bryan Ferry, Peter Gabriel, Jeff Lynne (without ELO), Tina Turner, The Four Seasons, Frankie Valli and Roy Wood (Ex ELO, without Wizzard)

Complete info on the movie and the soundtrack is at Wikipedia:

"All This and World War II" theatrical trailer 1976:

The First Ten Minutes:

Just because.
A Roy Wood hit in England at about the same time with what I think has rather funny lyrics. He never cracked the charts here. I bet he has misgivings about leaving ELO so early, which was the senior co-founding leader .
Roy Wood (all instruments & vocals) - Oh What A Shame:

Man, Tim Lumber has to be about the biggest dumster I have ever met. ... [more nasty stuff]

So,what happened to Tim Lumber?

He fell.

He fell..OK. Tim came to our blog, steelernation, back in April. He had some amusing comments realting to the Steelers, and his ability to talk smack. Then he disappeared. We miss him.

I assume, given his writing skills, choice of vocabulay and spelling, that he is no longer writing for the Baltimore Sun.

He never wrote for the Baltimore Sun. He was a guest poster on this blog. I'm hoping Sam didn't pay him a cent, just provided an outlet for his poorly-spelled rantings.

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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