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November 13, 2008

Juicy Lisa Lampanelli leftovers

lisa lampanelliAlso in today's paper, you will find a story about insult comic Lisa Lampanelli (pictured).

The Queen of Mean is coming to the Meyerhoff tomorrow for a stand up show.

Lampanelli's a fast talker with a sharp wit. I only talked to her for 15 minutes, but I still got way more material than I needed for the piece. 

We spent some time chewing the fat about Don Rickles, the only human insult comic more famous than her (Triumph the Insult Comic Dog probably pulls rank on Lampanelli, but he's just a puppet).

But Lampanelli and I had some pretty funny exchanges which I couldn't use for the article. She accused me of being a racist, she poked fun at the paper I work for, etc.

Here are some of the leftovers ... 


lisa lampanelliMe: You’re doing a book deal, too, finally bringing together comedy and journalism.
Lampanelli: Yeah , I know. Finally, journalism that doesn’t pay $12,000 year. Dude, how do you do it? I don’t know.

Don’t ask.
I know. You have to be like a man-whore on the side. But yeah, I was writing part of it today about my first relapse after rehab. I’d gone to rehab for codependency a year and a half ago. I was like, writing my part about where I relapsed and banged my first guy after rehab.

You’re not supposed to bang anyone for a year. That’s really difficult when you’re me and you’re a big celebrity. The offers just come flying in. I was writing that part and I was going ‘Ugh, I can’t believe I wasted it on that guy, a freaking short Italian from Las Vegas.’ It was awful. Ugh.

I know. My life – thank God it’s gotten better since then.
Is there stuff in your new autobiography that people have no clue about?
Oh yeah, because I’m really honest. I talk about going to fat camp and rehab and banging awful guys and being codependent and weight gain and weight loss and all that [expletive]. But there’s some stuff nobody ever asked me about. I guess all that will be in the book. All my childhood stuff, all my teen years. They’ll be stuff nobody knows, but not because I didn’t want to tell them or was afraid to tell them, but it just didn’t come up yet.

Bring up one thing with me.
Oh geez. I just told you about Johnny Vegas, you [expletive]. Geez. What do you think – I’m going to waste it on The Baltimore Sun?

At least it’s The Baltimore Sun. At least it’s one of the top papers in the country. But you’re still not worth it.

I read that insult comedians are really just flashes in the pan. Is this true?

Well look at Rickles. He’s 84 and still doing it ... I think I could last as long as that dirty heap.

Don Rickles has a heart of gold though right?
That’s what I said. Me ... him.

You’ve got a heart of gold?
You have to to do this. You try going up and saying the N-word like I do. You can’t because you’re really a racist because you’re around blacks a lot.

Are you accusing me of this?
Yes, I’m sure you’re a huge racist. No, I mean, put it this way. I know how pure I am of heart and that I have absolutely no prejudice in my body so I know I can say whatever I want and the right people will get it for the right reasons. I say whatever I want to say and people let me get away with it. You can only do that if you don’t mean it.

You only hurt the ones you love. That’s why I don’t make fun of French people and Europeans because they smell and I hate them. They do. Try smelling one. I have. Horrible. It’s just not right, sir.

(Top, stock photo. Bottom, photo by Karen Moskowitz) 

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 1:49 PM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Random stuff


Great, what the world needs now, a poor woman's Kathy Griffin. Pass.

If your forte is to be insulting, you fill an audience need that that's hardly elite. I guess everyone starts somewhere but do remember that sooperstar Andrew Dice Clay and where he is today.

A few of us are going to check out her tomorrow. If you like her comedy, this is a good tour to catch, it's being recorded for an HBO special.

The people she's insulting are famous and can handle whatever she dishes out. She's honest and equally critical of everyone- an egalitarian insult comic if you will.

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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