Midnight Sun strikes back
Enough talk. It's time to act.
All this time, I've been worried about raising the money to get Homer back and when to drop off the money.
Well, we're not paying the ransom money for Homer, my magnetic desk figurine. I'm not willing to pass that burden onto the tax-paying commenters on Midnight Sun.
Instead, I decided it was time to strike back. So this morning, we dispatched a counter-terrorist strike team (pictured) to root out the evil-doers.
We captured key members of the terrorist organization that kidnapped Homer and are currently holding them for questioning. Want proof we mean business? Here's a photo ...
As you can see, we have the suspects securely bound and kept in a top-secret questioning center.
Midnight Sun does not negotiate with terrorists. We will not pay the ransom. We will get Homer back on our own terms.
And the world will be a safer place.
(Top photo by Kenneth K. Lam/Sun photographer. Bottom photo by Midnight Sun)
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
Send in the Midnight Sun Delta Force.
GDA, JMG, JTK and myself have been assembled as the lead strike team.
Posted by: bryanintimonium | October 8, 2008 1:12 PM
Sounds like "The 3 Stooges Join the Military" minus the comedy
Posted by: JD | October 8, 2008 1:52 PM
Must resist urge to make joke about Guantanamo Bay and the Sun newsroom.
Posted by: Ted | October 8, 2008 1:56 PM
dood. u playing ruff now. we like dat. too bad homer's gonna get it.
Posted by: bad guyz | October 8, 2008 2:08 PM
No wonder it took so long. You were using Paul Revere to rally your musket toting troops. Finally, we have some action.
Posted by: MB | October 8, 2008 2:15 PM
the Acronyms....that has a good ring to it. now you all need to figure out who'll be the muscle, the looks, and most importantly, the wildcard.
Posted by: Allan | October 8, 2008 2:18 PM
Are you deal with COBRA? Man, where is Duke when you need him...
Posted by: Drew from Greektown | October 8, 2008 2:36 PM
The whole world now knows... Homer was kidnapped, for ransom, eight months ago. This is a recent photograph of him. Homer, if you're watching, we love you. And this... well, this is what waits for the man that took him. This is your ransom. Ten dollars in unmarked bills, just like you wanted. But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for my Homer. Not one dime, not one penny. Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. So congratulations, you've just become a ten dollar lottery ticket... except the odds are much, much better. Do you know anyone that wouldn't turn you in for ten dollars? I don't think you do. I doubt it. So wherever you go and whatever you do, this money will be tracking you down for all time. And to ensure that it does, to keep interest alive, I'm running a full-page ad in the Baltimore Sun... for as long as it takes. But... and this is your last chance... you return Homer, alive, uninjured, I'll withdraw the bounty. With any luck you can simply disappear. Understand... you will never see this money. Not one dollar. So you still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don't, well, then, God be with you, because nobody else on this Earth will be.
Posted by: jason | October 8, 2008 3:42 PM
Some month ago, in 2008, a crack commando unit was sent to Baltimore by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Federal Hill underground. Today, still wanted by the Baltimore Sun, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The Midnight Sun Team.
Posted by: JTK | October 8, 2008 6:34 PM
bad guyz - if anything happens to homer, it's off with your. if that happens can i have it. i need a skull for hamlet and my friend wants a shunken head as a center piece for her family halloween party. her mom makes great roasted bat.
Posted by: karlosi | October 8, 2008 7:07 PM
Alas karlosi, Your not well
or
Your Halloween sense of humor is a bit early and a bit warped.
Possibly ODed on "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern"
Posted by: GDA | October 9, 2008 11:48 AM