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October 20, 2008

Exciting developments in the Homer Saga

homer simpsonWell gang, I have some good news and some bad news.

First, the bad news. As you can see, Bad Guyz have brutally mutilated Homer. They are using scare tactics, and these scare tactics will not work.

As you may well know, we have begun an extensive covert operation to find and rescue our beloved Homer.

And that operation has born fruit. We now hold the smoking gun.

We, Midnight Sun, know who kidnapped and tortured Homer.

Allow me to explain ...

the letterWhen Bad Guyz sent their most recent email, Midnight Sun's crack team of Interweb Investigators quickly went to work, trying to trace the source.

And we have the source. And it shocked us to the core.

This source was someone we trusted. Someone who was close to us from the beginning. And this person betrayed that trust.

But we at Midnight Sun are not vindictive by nature. We have not tortured our hostages. Nor do we plan to.

Instead, we would like to make a proposal. Bad Guyz, you return Homer by Thursday Oct. 23 and we will return our hostages. If not, we will disclose your true identity. And may God have mercy on your soul.


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Posted by Sam Sessa at 7:50 AM | | Comments (7)
Categories: The Homer Saga
        

Comments


Homer Simpson, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Homer Simpson will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

Why don't you just buy a new Homer?

The whole deal has to be off now. They harmed the hostage and for all we know - he could have bled out.

Time to send in the strike team, take out the bad guys and put your hostages against the wall.

A new Homer? Outrageous!

It's obviously Jeff Mewbourn who stole him and is now trying to distract us by saying buy a new Homer


Buy a new Homer?? WTF? thats absurd!

any idiot can do an IP trace on any email. Duh. D'oh.

dood, quit threatening us. we got lots of help. we just passed da parts of homer we gots left to another dood. we are everywhere. youse can keep yer hostages. we don't even know them. quit foolin around and pay us. or at least buy us a beer... times are tough out there. our pal sez homer's drinking a lot MOR now that he's hurt. da lush. we gonna cut him off soon.

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at erik.maza@baltsun.com. Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.
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