Pure Aqua opens
MS reader Courtney spotted this story in the Baltimore Business Journal about Pure Aqua, a new club in Canton.
Sound familiar? Pure Aqua is the latest version of Aqua, the pool side club set up in the Merritt Athletic Center after hours.
The new owner is Ali Sadeghi, who has managed Ruth's Chris and The Havana Club, among others. Pure Aqua opened June 21, according to the piece.
I love this one paragraph, which comes near the top of the article. It perfectly sums up the kind of people who go there. You couldn't make this stuff up:
"Look at the women," Terry Christensen, a muscular 29-year-old, said with a smile. His diamond earring, pinky ring and bracelet glistened. "Beautiful women."
Hee hee.
(Photo of the original Aqua by Chiaki Kiwajiri)






I've been The Baltimore Sun's nightlife and local entertainment reporter for a couple years, and it's surprising how much the scene has grown in that time. Most of Baltimore's bars and clubs are unpretentious places with fairly cheap drinks and plenty of character. I like dancing and think this city needs more clubs, but nothing beats having a cold, locally brewed beer with friends in a comfortably full corner bar.
Comments
LOL, cheese whiz in da house!
"So baby, how's that pomegranite Martini?"
"Oh it's scrumpscious!"
"You know I work out here during the week, I'm sure you can tell."
"Oh I can tell. That shirt looks hot, did you get that from Banana Republic?"
"Yeah babe, this beat and vibe in this place is the s**t."
Posted by: Jeff | July 8, 2008 9:40 AM
Count me in-- I would love to receive that kind of attention.
Posted by: K | July 8, 2008 9:53 AM
I still can't believe they think they're going to make money on this thing. I really don't see why they feel the need to make it such a production (I work out there and saw them setting up last weekend). If they're determined to have a bar there, they could just roll out the futons (does this mean you can turn it into a bed and take a nap?) and serve drinks? Who the hell needs trapeze artists?
I'd like to point out that the "club" is flanked by Ed Hale's dirt parking lot on one side and what I assume are oil storage tanks on the other. And if you look real hard, you can see the giant mountains of coal in the distance. The worst part is that gym members get no discount. This is ridiculous.
Posted by: F. Pants McFadden | July 8, 2008 10:32 AM
Baltimore needs this and so does America ... it is fueling the resurgance of the economy by giving jobs to out of work bathroom attendants. There is quite a high demand for hair gel, hair spray, flavored condoms and shots of axe body spray at a ritzy club like that ... plus given the laws of supply and demand they can make good money by charging not $1 but $2 a pop, LOL! :-)
Posted by: TotalVicky | July 8, 2008 11:04 AM
I heard some people talking about it last week and I threw up in my mouth a little. "Like you can work out AND drink there!"
Jeff is SO close, but I think he's giving them too much credit. Jeff, you've been married too long. You have NO idea how bad it's gotten.
Imagine this:
Suh, is that like Tommy Bahama?
Uh huh.
The shirt or the rum?
Boat.
Wuh?
Boat duh shirt end duh rum.
Suh...
Uh huh ...
Suh, you Ashley?
Muh-ee? Yuh.
Wanna see my pack?
==================
Oh I feel dizzy.
If you don't know the site yet, you MUST check out
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
Of course, Baltimore douche nozzles can't compare with Jersey boyz, but you'll get the idea.
Posted by: Umberto | July 8, 2008 11:20 AM
That guy is a regular at Ful.
Posted by: bryanintimonium | July 8, 2008 11:26 AM
Gotta love that BBJ quote...
"It's a place where we choose the people we want in our club"
Hopefully they want every jabrone in their Affliction/Ed Hardy douche gear
Posted by: eCommerce Consultant | July 8, 2008 11:35 AM
I LOVE this kind of place! For the same reason Frank Zappa said he loved disco. He said he loved disco because it kept all those [nasty types] out of his hair. If you can keep all the [nasty types] in their [nasty homes], then the rest of the city is free of them.
Posted by: Pander Bear | July 8, 2008 11:40 AM
I forgot one quote..
"Ease up on the bumps, your nose is bleeding"
Posted by: Jeff | July 8, 2008 11:56 AM
Rusty pipes!
Posted by: Sam Sessa | July 8, 2008 11:57 AM
I would LOVE to see an informal photo essay on this place Sam. And by photo essay I mean a bunch of photos, which would tell their own obvious story. Do you know anyone intrepid enough to venture in? I think it would make a great tongue in cheek features story or at least some clicks for the blog.
This guy is my favorite. I hope lipstick for men makes it way from Jersey to Bmore:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB3091-781383.jpg
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 8, 2008 12:24 PM
nice touch sam
Posted by: Jeff | July 8, 2008 12:33 PM
here's a preview of the parking lot parties
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rYcfO_BK5w
Posted by: Evan | July 8, 2008 12:37 PM
Sweeeeeeet dance moves! I dig the white belt.
Posted by: Owl Meat Guido | July 8, 2008 12:56 PM
Where is this place located? On the Keybump Highway?
Posted by: Rock & Rye Chicklet | July 8, 2008 1:10 PM
rick's is making a comeback as pure aqua (aka pure ghb if you are a girl).
did anyone catch a glimpse of prince ali sadeghi on the cover of the bbj? i doubt he has the looks to get into his own club.
this officially signifies the end of the 24-30 debate.
Posted by: bill | July 8, 2008 3:39 PM
What's the 24-30 debate?
Posted by: Anonymous | July 8, 2008 6:01 PM
This is exactly what I needed to brighten an otherwise busy day. Further proof that Merritt Athletic types are postiively douchetastic!
It's not surprising that Merritt now has a club. I remember when I used to work out at the Fort Avenue club, and it amazed me how some people would dress just to work out.
Posted by: JJT | July 8, 2008 9:03 PM
Alright... I had to do it...
Not only do you get to super parlay with my man Ali, but also the man Russian Mike.
Pics are here:
http://www.pmclubbing.com/message.php
Some of them chicks look used and abused. You even have Steve DeCastro in his all black, old man, club wear.
For more Hot Chicks with Douchebags and Scissor Gang Mafia members, be sure to check out http://www.TheDirty.com.
p.s. - I made out with one of the chicks in 10733__DLP9804.jpg after about 10 RB's and Vodka.
Posted by: Tha Dizzle | July 9, 2008 1:55 AM
Umberto,
"Of course, Baltimore douche nozzles can't compare with Jersey boyz..."
Don't delude yourself, every state has them in comparable level of attractiveness, even Maryland. After all y'all keep making snide and snarky remarks about the Federal Hill meatheads, that should give you a clue that they roam/infest Baltimore.
An equal opportunity demographic of ......... (you'll delete the actual word anyway).
Posted by: GDA | July 9, 2008 4:51 PM
I don't doubt that Baltimore has it's own crop of nozzle-worthies, but Jerzey just has SO much practice. When I start seeing leather-tanned mesomorphs wearing lipstick and pursing their lips for photos, then I will know we have made it.
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/4656/db7098he.jpg
Posted by: Owl Meat GravyNozzle - Tessellate! | July 10, 2008 11:29 AM
If you want to see Pure Skank in full Herpa-Vision go to the link below and check out the Gallery of Skankographs.
http://www.pmclubbing.com/
You have to register to view the gallery but feel free to use my registration!
user= pureknob
pw = pureknob
It's not pretty.
Posted by: Owl Meat GravyKnob | July 10, 2008 11:42 AM
Owl Meat,
No I think, At least, NYC & LA out rank NJ.
I fail to see the how anyone would find engaging in any social activity looking like they be working for a landscaper all day or spreading asphalt (love this word in this context). If it was me looking like that, I'd strip, shower, and put on something respectable that would make me look like I had at least a couple of dollars to rub together.
What's wrong with these girls. Most of these guys look worthy of a restraining order to keep them away from them.
How gauche!
Posted by: GDA | July 10, 2008 12:04 PM
"Shaved apes" comes to mind. Yeah, I don't think we'll run into each other there GDA.
I liked the comment that it should be called Pure GHB. I was thinking Pure DateRape, but the former is more clever.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gauchery | July 10, 2008 12:28 PM
Pure Herpes
Where do these pork-heads buy their gear? Is there a Mesh Shirt World somewhere? I'm guessing in a Dundalk or Glen Burnie strip mall?
Posted by: Rock & Rye Chicklet | July 10, 2008 12:33 PM
I love any conversation that beats up on Jersey. There are only 3 reasons to be in Jersey.
1. To get to NYC.
2. You get lost on your way out of a late night in Philly.
3. Pick up girls - For the most part, they breed them well. Stay close to the shore and the northern beaches. You'll have to fend off the greased up scum who's pictures are now permanently linked to this blog, but if she's like any other Jersey girl I know, just act confident and tell her why she deserves better. That's what those guys lack -- they have egos, but no confidence to really back it.
Posted by: TS | July 10, 2008 3:55 PM
TS,
Apparently yours is a lush situation better served by remaining in Maryland and as you gaze into your brew of choice, ponder this Dorothy Parker quote: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think".
Greetings from Nova Caesarea
Posted by: GDA | July 10, 2008 9:43 PM
Nova Caesarea ... too clever by far.
This is what I want for my make-believe birthday next week.
1) A German shepherd
2) A doggy vest for her that says "DEA".
3) The guts to wander around the parking lot at Pure Aqua with her.
4) An intrepid friend with a video camera.
"What? I'm just walking my dog Dea. Hey, stop that, that was rude, whoa that hurts, .... Attica! Attica!! Attica!"
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 11, 2008 10:27 AM