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July 16, 2008

Chipotle to the max

My heart almost stopped when I saw this email:

The Bowie Baysox (Class AA Minor League Affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles) are gearing up for the Chipotle National Burrito Eating Championship, the Main Event during the first ever Competitive Eating Night at Prince George’s Stadium when the Baysox take on the Reading Phillies this Sunday, July 20th.  

Oh Chipotle! Oh sweet heavenly delicious burrito time!

Why oh why don't I get free burritos?

Chipotle! Can you hear me? Sponsor my blog! Sponsor my radio show! Sponsor my life! 

I want to tell you a story about the Four Meat Challenge ... 

Waaaay back in college (3 years ago-ish) I used to eat Chipotle burritos like it was nobody's business. Three a week? No problem. Four a week? Bring it on! My job at the college paper paid for it, you see.

Then, one day, I heard of the Four Meat Challenge. Dig this: You take all four meats (steak, chicken, barbacoa and carnitas) wrap them in a tortilla and stuff your face. So, I guess my question is, are you game?

My roommate Sammy was. (Yes, two Sams in one house.) So he and another roommate Young and I all went down to Chipotle for some action. Sammy walked up to the counter, and announced "I'M HERE TO TAKE THE FOUR MEAT CHALLENGE!"

The woman behind the counter was stunned. All she could manage to say was 'que.' (In hindsight, she may not have spoken much English to begin with).

But when Sammy explained the Four Meat Challenge to them, they obliged him, piling all four meats on one tortilla. It was glorious.

Then, when we rolled down to the cashier -- get this -- Sammy whipped out a Free Burrito Card. The cashier actually took a step back and said "NO!"

Together, they wrangled out a price -- something like $6. We sat down at a table and watched Sammy gorge himself. 

So what was it like? After taking a few bites, Sammy said: "It's like licking the inside of a cow!"

When he finished (and finish he did), Sammy ran a victory lap around the inside of the restaurant, giving high-fives to workers and yelling "Goal!" and "Yeah!"

We went home, chilled some, then went to bed. In the middle of the night, Sammy woke up with a vivid hallucination, dry heaved for a minute, and went back to bed. But all of that is beside the point.

The point is, Sammy took the Four Meat Challenge and beasted it.

Will you? 

(Photo from Sun archives) 

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 10:43 AM | | Comments (23)
Categories: Random stuff


Well, there goes my healthy, salad filled lunch. Now I MUST EAT CHIPOTLE! I just wonder how I will be able to wait until 1:00 to do so? Damn you Sam Sessa!

here I come, the raincloud.

as far as me and my friends are concerned chipotle doesn't hold a candle to burrito's enfuego

the nutritional info actually isn't so bad...unless of course you do the 4 meat challenge.

If Chipotle is still skipping the tomatoes because of the recent outbreak of salmonella, I think they should at least give you the option of a second meat.

actually there's a handy dandy burrito nutrition calculator for those of you who are curious enough to see what a 4-meat challenge burrito has in it nutrition-wise. (hint: it's bad for you, but who cares)

a better raincloud: Chipotle Nutrition Calculator:
(enable java)

In college in Fredericksburg, VA (yes we actually had a Chipotle) we used to have a standing event: The Two Burrito Challenge.

Two burritos(no vegetarian) in 60 minutes or less. It was accomplished by two individuals over the course of 3 years.

Is Sam Sessa Man Enough for it?

I'm confused about the Four Meat Challenge. Do you get the standard amount of each meat in your burrito thereby actually quadrupling your meat consumption or do they give you less of each than you'd normally get, totalling one or so meat servings? I'm guessing the former or the story really isn't even worth a dollop of sour cream. If it is actually quadruple the meat, how do you fit any of the other burrito goodness like the peppers, beans, etc. and actually get the thing closed?

I like some Chipotle from time to time, but I have been getting the big burritos at Elvis in Federal Hill of late.

Once you conquer the 4 meat challenge, i recommend the 999. To complete it, go to a baseball game and consume 9 hot dogs and 9 beers over the course of 9 innings. Makes for a great day at the ballpark. Word to the wise -- be aware of last call.

CD, it's the normal serving size for each meat. And you're right -- there's no room for anything else. Just the meat on the tortilla. Just like heaven.

The two burrito challenge is a joke. Now three burritos? That would be hard. 4 types of meat in one burrito with nothing else in there? That sounds gross. I'd rather just eat 4 burritos.

And to whoever said Burritos Enfuego is better: you have either no soul or no taste buds. For shame.

pssssh, Moe's is where it's at. where "it" is an awesome burrito.

Wow, no offense buddy but I can't believe you are paid to be a journalist. I understand this piece is not intended as Page 1 material but this is a joke - a report on what you and your fat dumb buddies did in college? The Sun is going down the sewer quick with buyouts left and right yet you manage to remain employed? More power to you I guess. Sorry if this was harsh but come on man, I thought UMD was supposed to have one of the top J schools in the country, challenge yourself a little

@ Mike -

dude, it's a nightlife column. i don't go to the liquor store for hand towels. when McCain and Obama both show up at Mosaic on the dance floor, "tryin' to get up all in dat", then I'm sure this column will be all over it.

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

MIKE, you want steady serious journalism, buy a paper, i'm sure you will read plenty of serious article. some of them written by mister Sessa.
this is a fun space, loosen up.

Sam, how do you order the 4 meat challenge, I am up for it. Two burritos in an hour, that's nothing, the 4 meat challenge sounds good but I think that I would still want some toppings on it. I agree with Jimbo Jones.

PS if you stop by there, can you pick me up good!

Sorry to inform you but the contest has been changed from burritos to angus hamburgers. Too bad, I was looking forward to competing.

My co-worker and I just ate two burritos each in under 11 minutes.

4 meats is paltry. My homeboy is about to tackle shula's eat it and we pay for it 72ozer.

I routinely order the turf and turf (two land based meats at one time). i'd up it to the surf and turf(squared) but chipotle doens't offer fish/shrimp! (WHY NOT)

i love chipotle. this post has been inspiration. i like sam sessa

Scott: Wow. Double wow.

Shawn, great use of the word 'paltry.' I like you too.

I guess this is about grandstanding challenges.
The idea of savoring what you're eating is secondary to speed and quantity.

This looks like something to check out.
Travel Channel's Man v. Food sneak peek:
Host of Man v. Food, Adam Richman answers the questions:

EatFeats - competitive eating news, database, calendar & challenges:

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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