Curse you, Magic Hat
When I was a freshman in college, I drank a lot of Magic Hat #9.
Expensive tastes for a broke college kid, right?
Well, my buddy Scotty had money and he usually got good beer for all of us.
Last Saturday I went down to James Madison University to visit one of my little sisters.
For some reason, I thought it would be fun to get a six-pack of Magic Hat -- just like back in the day.
When I used to drink Magic Hat (back in the day), you needed a bottle opener to pop the top.
But when I started drinking this six-pack, I realized the beers were screw-off.
I was 83 percent right. It turns out, only five out of the six bottles had screw-off caps ...
The last one didn't.
I didn't realize it until after I'd cut my finger struggling to twist the cap off.
Then things got interesting. See, I was sitting at a table with two other dudes.
And according to Dude Code, when a man can't twist the top off a bottle of anything, every other dude in the room has to try it for themselves.
Dude Code is unavoidable. Even though I said it wasn't a twist-off cap.
One of the dudes cut his hand worse than mine.
The other tried to open it by twisting the bottle on his forearm, and wound up with a cap-sized bruise.
But the question stands: What kind of sick joke was Magic Hat trying to play on us?
Five out of six beers with screw-off caps and one you need a bottle opener for?
And I'll bet somewhere up in New England where this stuff is bottled, some crazy looking dude like the one in this photo is laughing his butt off at my expense.