Sadriver
Magerk's

Greene Turtle

LOL! I think this is about 80% of the bars in Baltimore! Just about any place in Canton, Federal Hill, Power Plant Live, or Fells Point would qualify. Here's a few of my (least) favorites...

Mad River
Looney's
Howl at the Moon
MaGerk's
Mothers

Coburn's in Canton turns its upstairs into a dance club on weekend nights. My friends and I like to sit in the front window downstairs and watch the party buses pull up and spew their popped-collar, gelled-hair, Ugg-wearing (in the case of the female of the species) contents onto the sidewalk on a Saturday night. It is a spectacle not to be matched by any zoo.

Sessa, I have to quibble with your hasty sketch of a meathead. The gelled hair/popped collar combo is also a hallmark of the preppy, shown in full mating plumage in this Smirnoff Raw Tea vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTU2He2BIc0

For the novice, while some meatheads are also preppies, most just dress prep because that's what the guys in their frat do. Your ordinary meathead can also be told apart from a prep by his footwear (sandals, no matter how inappropriate for the season, instead of loafers or docksiders) and ratty baseball hat with his school and/or sport (leary of mussing their hair, preppies wear visors at most).

Also, are you taking into jock dialects? I hear a lot of "brah," these days ever since Jack Johnson eclipsed Dave Matthews as the meathead muse.

Oh, my nominees? Little Havana in summer. All of Canton on St. Patrick's Day. Every bar on Cross St. (except The Dog Pub) any day of the year.

I will say this for the meatheads: they are loyal friends who will take a punch for you. Try getting someone at the Ottobar to do that!

Upon spotting the meathead species i usually flee the violent testosterone cloud and head elsewhere. The WORST infestation had to be Claddagh Pub in Canton. "Dude,are you not into sports,something wrong with you? Grunt..burp..DUDE!"..

Patchen, thanks for your insightful insights.

Don, it's been a while. Where ya been?

KB, party bus! PAAARTY BUUUSSS!!

Hey Sam! Don't worry,i wasn't frequenting [expletive rhyming with City] Paper's blog! Keep the MS coming!

i agree..almost every bar in canton/fed hill could be considered this. but the most prominent would have to be:

Bay Cafe, Claudaughs (sp?), McGerks, Ryleighs

Okay so after this one, can we do a Fab Friday on the Top 5 Bars for Middle of the Road People? You know, the kind of people who watch sports, appreciate good music, wear polo shirts but don't pop the collar, can drink Miller Lite and Resurrection just as easily and are as comfortable at Rocket to Venus as they are at Looney's?

All this labeling is causing me to loathe every aspect of my personality.

If confronted by the violent Mid-Atlantic Meathead, the quickest way out of the situation:

Say, "Bro, you look like you're getting smaller. You still in the gym?"

It won't stop them, but it will buy you some time to break out.....

Patchen says: "All of Canton on St. Patrick's Day."

And while this is not a nomination, though I second his, I have to say: Why were people in Canton dressed up for (green tight top, clover belt, tight jeans, green beads, giant gold heels) St. Patty's Day LAST weekend? Murr?!

wow! so many to choose from!

Fed Hill has
1. Mad River
2. Drifters

Canton has
1. Bay Cafe
2. Coburns

Power Plant has
1. Babalu
2. Lodge Bar

Great topic, you might get 1000 responses on this topic alone!

M'Jerks

jagrbomb. jagrbomb. jagrbomb.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

editor's note: the video has profanity

Not so much a top five but pretty much every one I can think of:

Mothers
Mad River
MaGerk's
Drifters
*Ryleigh's - gets an asterisk for being more yuppie than meathead
*Stalking Horse (recently anyway)
pretty much anything in Power Plant
Iguana Cantina - for underage meatheads
Greene Turtle - should be listed 8 times
Max's on Broadway is sooooooo very close
Coburn's
Claddagh's
*Bay Cafe

And people continue to claim that 'every bar on cross st.' applies, so I'll just list those that do not, plus some right around the corner:

Blue Agave
No Way Jose Cafe
Turner's - about as far from meathead as possible
[Thirsty] Dog Pub
Nevin's
Crazy Lil's
Grumpy's - although it comes close sometimes
Federal Hill Lounge (defunct)
Regi's
Nick's Seafood
Illusions
Metropolitan
whatever Vespa is called now

Also it occurs to me it's pretty important to list some of the things that are essential to a meathead bar, it's worth discussion too.

For one, a DJ is an absolute must. No respectable meathead bar is sans DJ to spin In Da Club 47 times.

2nd, specials on really crappy beer like $1 miller lite (which every single bar does on thursdays around the world).

3rd, at least 50% over capacity on any given thursday or weekend evening, which is usually directly linked to the first two things listed.

alright someone take over from here

Mary -- Saturday was Canton's Irish Bar Stroll, traditionally held the weekend before their St. Patty's Day festivities. Bars offer lots of drink and food discounts and people can participate for a fee and a canned food item, both of which are donated to the Maryland Food Bank.

And if you were around Sunday and wondering what all of those people in black shirts were doing, well, that was another bar crawl, Neighbors Night Out, in support of Zach and Anna Sowers.

When in doubt, drinking somewhere in Canton usually goes to a good cause, your liver excluded.

Sam - You only suggested this to drive up your comment count, didn't you?

Sam does not reveal his motives ...

George think's so, George likes meathead bars. George can't wait for St. Patty's day!!! George is getting angry!!

dude. seriously. stop. you don't understand the frat scene. don't be a poser. i dominate magerk's, mothers, and bay cafe. And i know every Will Ferrel quote. Ever.
"You my boy, Blue." Awesome. Don't mess, I know more than you.

Sam, I don't have time for this! Magnetic Homer is missing! There's an ongoing investigation. Have you no soul?

Listen, Sessa - Me and my bros just came off the lax field and want a place to drink some brews and show off our cool haircuts. Look at the way they flow mop-like in the breeze. OK, dude?

Honorable mention to the recently closed Baja Beach Club.

without a doubt,

baja beach club should be posthomm(big word) awarded for biggest meathead bar!

Any of the Greene Turtles, but especially Towson and Fells.

Also, Even, if the bar is charging cover for no reason, that is a frat bar.

I nominate Mad River after this exchange. My friend orders 2 vodka and red bulls and the bartender tells him it will be $24. He questions the cost and the bartender responds "this is Mad River, bro". So my question is, if I look up Mad River in the dictionary is it defined as home of overpriced drinks and meathead bartenders?

Drew - excellent point. Unless of course you're going to FÜL, then you're just being classy. If I were to add another to the list it would be 'getting your credit card stolen' because that has happened to myself and my friends at least six times at some of the places listed.

I have to say out of all of them Mad River definitely amazes me sometimes. Lines around the block to get in on some weekends, and the place is decorated with kayaks for christ sake. Plus an incident or two in the past of bouncers not allowing persons of color in for "dress code violations."

Casper your exchange kind of blows me away because even at Mothers you can get two RB&V's for 16 dollars or so, without paying 5 dollars at the door depending on which DJ is spinning or jello wrestling event is happening.

The only instance I had with any similarity was one evening I went to Grumpy's and wasn't really paying attention to what time it was, I asked the bartender (not the current one, he's awesome) if they were running a special and he said "It's 10:30 in Fed Hill bro, there aren't any specials."

I definitely get tired of people using the time of day as an excuse to fleece the hell out of me.

m.j., we're going streaking! Come on, everybody, we're going streaking!

A few have mentioned it, but there is NO bigger Meathead hangout than Bay Cafe during the warm months. PERIOD.

It's only 6 out of 12 months, but the sheer number of Meatheads that they can pack into the place during those 6 months is staggering.

If that place was to fall into the Harbor on a Sunday May - September , say around 9 pm, not one gym in the Baltimore-Metro would have the staff to open the next day.

I gotta go pump my latts....

So depressing that I live in Federal Hill, which has been completely infested over the past few years with Tha Meathead Bar.

Far and away #1 - Drifter's. It's the meatbomb. I can't even go in the place on a weeknight.

Also meaty:
Ryleigh's
Coburn's

Meat of Christmas Past:
Rodo's
Moby's
Reefer's
(I'm not sure these places even exist any longer, but they were my meat jam back in the day; no pun intended)

It's interesting just how segregated our drinking habits are. The vile for the hipster scene was real when Sam pitched that subject, and this was is just rife with contempt. And I bet almost no one on here has been to say, Club Choices.

I dunno, do bars exist where people are like "cool, great mix of people." Sam, I say we pull this for another Fab Friday.

Also, I wouldn't say Baja was a full fledged "meathead" bar. In my mind, meathead predetermines that you are or went to college and live a healthy, monied frat life. Not too many college degrees floating around Baja.

I for one try to avoid the meathead bars, but if i were to name a few of my least favorites due to the meathead scene......
claddagh's
granite....i've never liked this place no matter what they call it.
coburn's at night. it's ok during the day.
i used to fight my friends when they'd mention looney's but it seems so much easier to move around and get drinks since they changed the upstairs (and downstairs). waaay overdue construction

favorite places to drink with semi-normal people

bartenders...good food, great bartenders and all the irish mist you can handle!!
walt's inn....cheap drinks and karaoke. what else do you need?
american harry's....gotta go with a big group of people.

GMan, I've been to Club Choices once! I did my best white boy dance.