Homer is gone!
Terrible news: My magnetic Homer has been kidnapped!
Some evil sneak swiped him Thursday morning.
A note was left at the scene.
It read: "Sam, If u ever want Homer back, please get $5 in small bills ready for his ransom. We will let u know where to meet us. Don't contact the police ... Or else!"
It was signed "Bad guys."
Here is a short video of my reaction.
After a careful scent analysis of the note, I determined the person who wrote it does not use fragrant hand lotion.
That leads me to believe the culprit has chapped, flaky skin.
The caper may also have something to do with the Whoopee cushion I placed under Dan Thanh Dang's seat cover a couple days ago.
What should I do? Where should I turn?
AAAAAAAAAAH!
(Photo by me)
I've been The Baltimore Sun's nightlife and local entertainment reporter for a couple years, and it's surprising how much the scene has grown in that time. Most of Baltimore's bars and clubs are unpretentious places with fairly cheap drinks and plenty of character. I like dancing and think this city needs more clubs, but nothing beats having a cold, locally brewed beer with friends in a comfortably full corner bar.
Comments
With Homer Simpson-stealing hoodlums in the catbird seat, The Baltimore Sun sent for the one man who could clean up the town and shoot the gangsters: Rex Banner.
Posted by: JTK | March 8, 2008 6:36 PM
I think you should beg forgiveness, get on your knees and beg for mercy from the court of picked-on co-workers.
Are you sure that it wasn't Elizabeth?
Posted by: Susan | March 8, 2008 7:29 PM
hahahaha Rex Banner
Posted by: Evan | March 9, 2008 2:03 PM
Sam, I'm horrified at such flagrant thievery! I think we should set up a candlelight vigil and sing a hymn, perhaps In the Garden of Eden by I.Ron Butterfly? We can all hold hands and pray til Homer comes home.
Posted by: dan thanh | March 10, 2008 11:49 AM
Well since the captors have spelling issues, that means you can start by looking for any Baltimore City Public Schools graduates working at The Sun. Go from there.
ZING!
Posted by: bryanintimonium | March 10, 2008 3:16 PM