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That's really the only way I can describe Snoop Dogg's new single "Sexual Eruption" off his forthcoming album Ego Trippin'.
Yes, the name of the song is indeed "Sexual Eruption."
Is he being overly cheesy a la R. Kelly?
I'm not sure. Maybe.
He actually sings into a vocorder on the track, which you can hear on his MySpace site.
(Getty Images)
Spoke with Katrina Ford, the singer for Celebration (pictured), yesterday.
Ford recently did an interview with Baltimore Magazine, and we both chuckled over this one exchange she had with them:
Baltimore Magazine: How important is it for a band to have a strong Web presence these days?
Ford: I don't know. It's a given now. I think that question would have been relevant five years ago. Everyone is online now, even funeral homes for God's sake.
We are indeed blessed when it comes to Baltimore bars.
Fells Point has some of the best watering holes on the East Coast. Federal Hill and Canton perfectly fit the bill for the post-college crowd.
But there are still things I wish this city had.
Here are my five wishes for the Baltimore nightlife scene:
1. Better service
I can't tell you how frustrated I get with Baltimore bartenders. If anything about this city's bars and restaurants really needs to change, it's the quality of service.
2. More dance clubs
There are not enough places to dance in Charm City.
3. More locally brewed beers on tap
I wish more bars had Clipper City (like the one pictured), Brewer's Art and Oliver Ale suds on tap.
4. Better parking
No one wants more parking garages in their backyard, but Fells Point and Federal Hill get tied into a knot on some Friday and Saturday nights. That needs to change.
5. More horseshoe bars
I know the layout of most rowhouses won't allow it, but I really like wraparound bars. They are the only thing I like about chains like Applebee's. J. Patrick's in Locust Point has one. Horse shoe-shaped bars give a place more of an intimate feeling. I like that.
(Linda Coan/Sun Photo)
Because everyone is dying to know, here is the screed Bowling Ben sent me:
How was my bowling date? In one word ... DISASTROUS!!! (Although I should really expect nothing less from myself by this point!)
I was scheduled to pick her up at 7:30 Tuesday night. I show up almost 15 minutes late. She's a pretty laid-back girl, so that wasn't too big of a deal at all. I opened the car door for her, and we were on our way.
She wasn't feeling too adventerous, so the Korean food was out. We opted to eat at the bowling alley instead. (Kitsch is cool, right JM?) Hillendale Lanes was our choice, (er, hers actually) 'cause Mustang Alley's (pictured) had league night and couldn't guarantee a lane until after 10:30. ...
(Andre F. Chung/Sun Photographer - Note: Bowling Ben NOT pictured)
So we left her apartment in Hampden, heading back to 83, when she announces that," since the place is on Taylor Ave, I can get us to Taylor from Cold Spring."
A wave of panic washed over me. See, I had never been to Hillendale before, and I only had the directions I got off the intra-nets. But how am I supposed to tell her that, "you know, I'm not 100% positive of your navigational skills, especially since neither of us have been there before?"
So reluctantly, I made the turn onto Cold Spring, away from the safety of 83 and 695, into that grid of not-quite parallel roads and ghettos we all know and love...Baltimore. (Hey, I'm a county boy. Anything east of 83 is a mystery to me!)
And then she decides to tell me, "but i don't know which way we're supposed to turn onto Taylor Ave."
Ugh.
... I continued to drive, getting less and less familiar with our surroundings as we travelled east.
When I saw that we were approaching Loch Raven Blvd, i "assumed" that i could get us to the bowling alley from there. So i turned right onto Loch Raven Blvd. Ten minutes later, I realized that i should have turned left.
Ugh.
She's one of those people that tends to get a little "testy" when her blood sugar gets low. (God I hope she doesn't ever stumble upon this blog...she'd wanna kill me for airing our laundry!) Maybe I shouldn't have chosen this time to let her know that the bowling alley closes at ten...90 minutes from then.
Ugh.
We argue for a few minutes as I turn the car around, heading back on loch raven. She didn't want to bowl anymore, she just wanted to eat some dinner.
After a few minutes of silence and tensely smoked cigarettes, i told her, "let's go to Rocket to Venus," since i knew she had never eaten, just drank there, and that we could smoke there after 9.
A few more minutes of silent driving and smoking passed, and as i turned back onto Cold Spring, i laughed out loud as i informed her, "you know, I don't REALLY know how to get to Rocket to Venus." (Now that's just plain ole funny!)
So she directed me over to R2V (which i can now get to VERY easily!) with such a *loving* tone in her voice. Stupid people and their christmas lights, we had to park almost a mile away and hike it down the hill (someone didn't want to be dropped off at the door!)
The walk continued with the theme of silence, smoking, and sass, but we finally arrived at the restaurant minutes before 9. The seal was broken, booze started flowing, meals were ordered (mmm...the brussel sprouts) and in due time, the sun started to poke it's head out from behind the clouds.
As the end of (am amazing) dinner neared, we were having a down-right blast with each other, laughing, joking, (still) smoking...the evenings' earlier "incidents" went the way of LA Gear and Bo Jackson...forgotten.
So to wrap things up, we left the restaurant, went back to her place to hang out, watch a movie, smoke some more, and catch up. Well, we stayed up pretty much all night long just talking to each other, getting closer than we ever were before, sharing feelings, stories, and emotions...and then she kissed me...and it was freakin fantastic!!!
Although our evening couldn't have started off any worse, I left the night 100% satisfied with everything that had happened. Not only did i leave with a (make-up) bowling date for next week, but also with the feeling that I may end up back together with her a little bit earlier than i had imagined.
Thanks for your help/inquiries y'all! It's nice to feel cyber-loved!
-(Bowling) Ben
(that's an AWFUL name, but i guss it fits!)
(Monica Lopossay/Sun Photographer)
It makes sense when companies like Budweiser and Guinness pay money to support a concert or a tour.
Now, I lose a little respect for bands that sign up for events like Kool Cigarettes Presents: the Roots, Live in Concert!
But I understand it.
Music and booze/cigarettes go hand in hand.
This show at the 9:30 Club, however, I don't understand:
DC101 and Charlestown Alexander Diamond Importers present Elliot's Non-Denominational Xmas Show, featuring Silversun Pickups • Finger Eleven • Papa Roach, 8pm Doors. Listen to DC101 to win tickets!
Diamonds? Huh? What do diamonds have to do with live music?
I think sponsorship may have gone a little too far.
(Bloomberg News photo)
Still haven't heard from MS reader Bowling Ben about his date the other night.
I'm assuming the worst.
Of course, if something went wrong, it was probably because Ben used one of JM Giordano's suggestions instead of mine.
Shame on you, JM.
Here are three of your best options for going out this weekend:1) M.I.A. (pictured) at Sonar's Taxlo tomorrow
This is going to be one hot party. M.I.A. is performing a full show, I'm told. $15 in advance, $17 at the door.
2) James Joyce Pub's 5th Anniversary Party tonight
They are giving away a free trip for two to Ireland. Also, live music and $3 Guinness drafts from 4 p.m.-7 p.m.
3) Eric Hutchinson at Fletchers Bar tomorrow
With the right push, Hutchinson could be a big hit. $10, 8 p.m. doors.
(Photo by J. Beckman)
One of the pitfalls of being a local music critic is you inevitably give bad reviews.
That was the case when City Paper music writer Al Shipley (who also does the highly informative hip-hop/R&B blog Government Names) saw the Deep End play a few months ago.
He wrote:
"Another quartet with several years under its belt, the Deep End refers to itself as "The best unsigned band in America" on its MySpace page. And while hype on a web site is rarely critic-proof, the Deep End invited the obvious jokes when it wasn’t even the best band on a two-band bill."
...
The Deep End fired back with a scathing, obscene comment on the top of their MySpace site, referencing Shipley by name. Warning: There is profanity on the site.
I e-mailed Shipley giving him the heads up.
He responded:
"hahaha! ... one for the scrapbook."Since people are putting together their holiday wish lists, I thought it would be nice to have one for Midnight Sun too.
So this week's Fab Five Friday topic is five things you wish for in Baltimore's nightlife scene.
More cigar bars?
More tequila bars?
More places to go dancing?
I'll give you mine in a couple days.
Some serious changes are in store for Fletchers Bar in Fells Point.
Ottobar co-owner Craig Boarman and partner Evan Tanner are buying the Fells Point pool hall and live music venue.
At the start of the new year, they plan to turn the downstairs into a sushi bar and Latin restaurant, while keeping the upstairs open as a club. They will rename it Vice.
"I wanted another outlet, and I always wanted to try food," Boarman said. ...
Boarman also said they will keep promoter Paul Manna on until February and then reassess the booking situation.
Personally, I see no reason why Boarman wouldn't take over booking the club himself. He's done well with The Ottobar.
The last hurrah for the downstairs of Fletchers is New Year's Eve.
MS reader Ben writes:
Tonight, I have a date with my ex. She lives in Hampden. She wants to get some dinner and go bowling.
Do you have any good (read: interesting) ideas? That Mustang place seems WAY to expensive (Bowling alleys should be seedy, smoke-filled and cheap) so I'm looking for a (preferably ten-pin) alternative.
Also, I'm trying to pick out a COOL place to get dinner (also that preferably allows smoking!)
Can you help, Sam? Perhaps any of your readers? I'm in the process of trying to get my ex-girlfriend back, and any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!
Got any ideas for him?
Here are my suggestions ...
(Andre F. Chung/Sun Photographer)
And by the way ... 10-pin bowling is against everything Baltimore stands for.
But between you and me, I like it better than duckpins.
Let's start with dinner.
I talked to Sun food sorceress Elizabeth Large, who recommended Woodberry Kitchen. It's romantic, it's a little expensive, and there's no smoking. But that was her first and only recommendation. (She seems pretty set on it.).
I say take her to Rocket to Venus (pictured). Cheaper, hipper, and you can smoke there (but not until after 9 p.m.). Plus, I hear they have some delicious takes on childhood grub like grilled cheese.
As for bowling, your only two options in town are Mustang Alley's and the Patterson Bowling Center. You and I both know the Mustang can get pretty pricey. On the other hand, it's the only one with 10-pin lanes.
Or, if you feel like making the 20-minute trip north, you could go to the AMF Towson Lanes, which I'm told has dozens of 10-pin lanes. They're open until 11 tonight. I've never been there, so I can't vouch for the place. But here is their Web site.
So Ben, if you go to Towson, lemme know how it is.
And good luck!
(Monica Lopossay/Sun Photographer)
It may be a while yet until the city's best wine tastings resume.
The Vine (pictured), the city's least pretentious wine bar, has been closed for renovations since May.
Only ... the renovations haven't started yet.
Instead, they've just been planning. And replanning.
"It's been pretty slow so far," said co-owner Shane Mitchell.
At one point, they contemplated knocking the whole building down, Mitchell said. They decided to just rehab it, like they originally planned.
Renovations on the South Baltimore bar should start in the next three weeks, and should wrap up in the spring, Mitchell said. I'm not holding my breath.
(Elizabeth Malby/Sun Photographer)
Went to the reopened Three Kings this past weekend.
The new owners added some American items to the menu.
They also rehired at least one of the former servers, which was a good move.
Three Kings always had the $5 minimum per person rule. But they never enforced it -- until now.
But the hookahs, coffee and tea are as good as ever.
(Photo by Lori Shepler/Los Angeles Times)
The liquor store I frequent has a pet cat.
If you ask me, it's more like the pet cat has a liquor store I frequent.
This cat is a barrel-chested ball of orange fluff that must weigh 30 pounds.
We call him Tang, because that seems like a fitting name for such a large, slow-moving feline.
TANG HUNGRY! TANG THIRSTY!
I tried to pick up Tang once -- and barely got him off the ground.
Asked the guy behind the counter the other day -- his real name is Tony. So we weren't too far off.
I like Tang better.
Here are the top five things I'm thankful for about Baltimore bars.
1. They're unpretentious.
In most city bars, no one has a chip on their shoulder. I love that.
2. No cover charges
You can count on one hand how many bars have covers outside of the Power Plant. Thank you, Baltimore.
3. Cheap Natty Boh
Sometimes you need to go on a tear. And if you want to go on a cheap tear, Boh is the beer to do it with. At Tyson's Tavern, they're $1, all the time.
4. The Fort Avenue bar crawl
A dozen bars -- some dives, some yuppie joints -- lined up in a mile-long stretch. Anyone thirsty?
5. Baltimore Bars have soul
80 percent of the watering holes in town have histories -- they're not some plastic-y feeling spot.
This might not come as a surprise if you've seen a show there, but the 9:30 Club just won Billboard's 2007 Top Club award.
Great sound, great sight lines.
My only complaint with the club is the ferocious security staff.
Otherwise, I'll agree with Billboard 100 percent on this one.
(Karl Merton Ferron/Sun Photographer)
Sorry if you're having to put up with error messages or extremely slow-loading blog pages.
It's been this way for a couple days now.
Stick with me. I'm hoping Tribune will have the problem fixed soon.
In light of the holiday, this week's Fab Five Friday is going to be the top five things I'm thankful for about Baltimore bars.
No, good service will not be one of them.
Washington might have a lot of trendy lounges and clubs, but I think Baltimore is a better bar town. What are you thankful for?
Anybody ever been thrown out of a show?
I was kicked out of (and then snuck back into) a New Deal show at the Bowery Ballroom in 2003.
It was one of the greatest coups of my concert-going life. I'll tell you more about that later.
But I think my favorite story of someone getting ejected from a show was when an audience member at a Ryan Adams show requested a Bryan Adams (pictured) song.
Ryan Adams had him thrown out!
Granted, I wasn't there, so it might be an urban legend, but that sounds a little extreme.
Doesn't surprise me, though.
Ryan Adams is one of the flakiest indie performers out there.
(Getty Images)
Philly Mag is getting sued for calling an Irish pub a dive bar.
They took it a little further though, and apparently also said this place was a haven for "broken-down blackjack addicts" and "self-professed black sheep of the family."
Hee hee.
I went into our archives and found out in my 2+ years of writing the nightlife column, I've only called four places dives: Mum's, Turner's, BAR and LP Docks.
And I only said Turner's "looks kind of like a dive on the outside."
On second thought, there was that list I did a few months back ...
Hope none of them will sue me for it.
(Photo of Mum's jukebox by Kenneth K. Lam/Sun Photographer)
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