My former trivia-night opponent and Scrabble victim, the graphic designer and native of Kansas City John Hathaway graciously agreed to contribute this piece on the relative culinary advantages of his hometown and adopted town.

Kind of like I said here, it's hard to really get riled up about the opposing team in this Sunday's game, much less the fine city they're representing. May the better team win.

Here's Hatha's Way:

SEAFOOD: Advantage—Baltimore

Baltimore has crabs. I don’t like crabs.
 
I love the way they taste when they’re all rolled up in a ball with some breadcrumbs and Old Bay and mustard and everything else. I love the way they look when they’re served on a roll because it reminds me of how we eat our food in the Midwest.
 
Just don’t ask me to pull the little guys apart. It’s a brutal, mind-numbing task that yields too little food in return. Neither I nor the crab has any interest in being a part of this grizzly affair. And I’d rather not talk about how closely related crabs are to the vile insects we pay good money to have exterminators remove from our homes.
 
But…
 
In the end, it’s no comparison. Baltimore has a ton of great seafood (that isn’t crabs). KC has steak. But steak’s not seafood. If it was, I would love seafood.

BEEF AND BBQ: Advantage—Kansas City

Baltimore is a harbor town, and the beautiful Chesapeake Bay and Atlantic Ocean are just a few hours away. This is why Baltimore is so much better at seafood. Kansas and Missouri have land. Lots and lots (believe me) of land. Land that they grow stuff like plants and grains on. Land that they use to feed animals (big, hulking, meaty beasts) that eat all the stuff they grow on all that land. They’ve been doing this for a long time. They do it better because they don’t have a choice.
 
When your dinner options are beef, pork or beef, you learn how to get really good at cooking beef and pork and beef. Baltimore pit beef and BBQ are just fine. It’s almost darling. But in KC, it’s an art form. And every time I go back home, I look forward to getting a huge, properly prepared steak and some true BBQ. It’s bliss.