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October 13, 2010

Contest # 2 -- misguided celebrity restaurants

brettPlease create a celebrity restaurant.

The result can be ill-advised, desperate, or simply alarming. You can play this a few ways. The celebrity in question doesn't have to be part of the restaurant's name, as in the example here at left - if it isn't, though, tell us who the celebrity is.

If you feel the concept needs a few words of explanation, go right ahead -- 20 max.

You have until today at 5 PM EDT to post your entries.

This week's mostly irrelevant prize : a review copy of the "Christmas with the Rat Pack" cd.


Rats, I forgot to say one entry per post! Does anyone think I should extend the deadline past 5 pm? - 11:49, RLG

I just extended the voting until midnight -- 5:03, RLG

Posted by Richard Gorelick at 6:26 AM | | Comments (61)


Auntie Gaga's Tea Room

Lohan's House of Cheesecake

No matter what slice you select, it will be a bad choice.

Brett Favre's Past His Prime Rib.

Glenn Beck's Whine Market. Blackboard specials every night.

Obama's Budget Bologna Truck....It all sounds good !

Justin Beiber's

Fever - spicy pizza with glitter toppings

Bob Barker's Cantonese Steakhouse - please spay and neuter your entree, down on Route 40

Idi Amin's Barbecue
Lady Gaga's Charcuterie
Mick Jagger's Sticky Fingers Creamery

Ray Lewis House of Ribs
Ops, Already done that; didn't work

Mama Grizzly's Pubhouse

Enjoy menu of freshly hunted game while taking in wonderful view of Russia from our rooftop deck.

Do I need to name the "celebrity?"

Pelosi's Pork Palace

Nancy: But we're completely kosher. There isn't any pork here. Really! We wouldn't spend money on barrels of pork. Of COURSE not. Besides, we'll we have to sell the entrees so we can find out what's in the health care bill...

Mel Gibson's
Stage Door Deli

Lorena Bobbitt's Sausage Emporium

Flacco's Pizza Palace - Tastes just like Pizza Hut!

Michael Richards' Got Soul: A West African Cafe

Tiger Woods 19th Hole

Ben Roethlisberger's Biker Bar

Jeffrey Dahmer's Chophouse

Jenifer Aniston's "Pairings"

(Surely she'd fare better in Abingdon than in Hollywood!)

J. K. Rowling's Owl Bar. Where wizards and their birds get together.

Paul McCartney's BeatleJuice Bar. Sir Paul thinks he's the main attraction, but everyone keeps ordering the Lennonade.

Jon Stewart's Deli Show. Where the corned beef and pastrami sandwiches are hand-carved by tepanyaki chefs.

Johnny Depp's Demonically Delicious Meat Pies of Fleet Street.
A Slice Above the Rest

"Paul McCartney's BeatleJuice Bar. Sir Paul thinks he's the main attraction, but everyone keeps ordering the Lennonade."

Oh shyiz....Winner.
I was gonna post something to follow up my 2nd place, but there's no need to anymore.

Well played Zevonista, well played.

Dolly Parton's House of Ribs.
nobody has a better rack.

Miami Heat - Featuring a triple dose of South Beach narcissism

Nick Nolte's Grog Hut - Cool drinks, cooler shirts.

Ronald Reagan's Dutch Kitchen
Eat Some from the Dipper

Paris's Place- Food "Thats Hot"

After two days of no wifi I see that I almost missed a contest.

Corporal Meat reporting for duty. As it turns out, my hat enthusiast buddy postponed our tour of Greenmount Avenue bars and hair-braiding parlors, so I gots lots of time.

Gary Williams' Offal House: Amazing results from another man's scraps

Kevin Kamenetz's The County Table: locally grown produce from Bartenfelder Farms

Another Harford County offering:
Beam us up, Scotto's ... "Home of Ethereal Pasta"

Thanks, Stagger Lee! Wonder if Richard will agree...

Brett Favre's The Cock and Bull Pub:

Sausage and Rocky Mountain Oysters our specialty!

General weakness all around. I don't see any winners here. Need to up your game brohams.

Stephanie Rawling's Cake

Bob Ehrlich's Top of the Muffin to You!

You don't need a chin-strap for these crusty toppers.

Ben Roethlisberger's Forcemeat Burger Bar - Because you know you want it

Sergio's Midget Temaki Sushirama

Ricki's Lake Trout

Soleil Moon Fries

Michael Buble's Epernay Cafe ...

Sheila's Steakhouse - Everything's a best buy when your Fixin' for a Dixon.

Sidney Poitier's Guess What's for Dinner, a resturant that is fairly mundane to people under 40 but probably too avant garde for grandma.

Angela Lansbury's Lobster & Sodomy Shack -- What? It's not like you murdered somebody.

The Sisters Gaborscht


"The Grilling Fields"
Pol Pot owner/operator

Feast on celebrity restaurateur Sergio Vitale's meaty concepts ... Idée... Mind-full and Belly-Empty. Idée with your brain!

Ron Jeremy's 5 dollar foot longs

Godot's Pizza Delivery - We deliver in 30 minutes or you have existential dilemmas. Maybe your pizza doesn't even exist.

Helen's & Michelle's Garden.closed & closing

Helen's & Michelle's Garden.closed & closing

Nietzsche Bay Pie - Deep dish pizza delivery. It'll get there when it gets there, what are we, Supermen?

Comedy isn't pretty.

I'd rather see government sausage being made.

consider it done

Hey, when you gonna give away some food? I canna eat no record. Look at yous, all skinny bones. Open your mouth, Mama give you some nice avgolemono. Eh, good, no? Oh, you got some on your chin. Mama wipe it up with her apron.

Sammy Davis Jr & Ella Fitzgerald's failed joint venture;
Sam & Ella's

Corporal Meat resigning his commission. Got waylaid by some WACs.

Good one, Paul_D (but 10 hours too late), Jhaf, jinbaltimore, Lorna Doon, and M&M.

Michael Vick's Gourmet Hot Dogs.


Christine O'Donnell's Tea House - Try the Sandwitches! Just keep your hands to... errr... OFF yourself.

Bill O'Reilly's at the PowerPlant F@#k-It-We'll-Do-It Live.

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About this blog

You are reading the archives. For updated blog posts about the Maryland food scene, see Richard Gorelick's new Baltimore Diner blog.
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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