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March 12, 2010

RoCKing the Web

Rep. Eric MassaRobert of Cross Keys sets out to master the art of Search Engine Optimization in this week's Free Market Friday post. Let's see if it works. LV

It has been a tough week at the office, so I wasn’t able to get around to writing about some of the things I’ve wanted to opine on.

When I woke up this morning, it appeared that Friday had arrived, but there was no Free Market Friday to turn in. Realizing that my imaginary Internet salary was at risk, I had to throw something together.

My first inkling was to create a clip piece, like on TV when they throw together a bunch of old footage and tie it into some story about reminiscing. "Family Ties" used to do this about every other week when Michael J. Fox was off making things like "Teen Wolf."

Yes, a clip piece. Maybe bring together some hardware store ham and cranberry sauce with the can rings for the food. Wardrobe selections would be T-shirts with either “Best Buns in Town” from Tony Packo’s or “Nice ____. Can I ___ them?” from RA sushi. Embedded music links from Journey or the Little River Band would provide the background music. It would great, or at least good.

The problem, however, with the clip piece was that I would really need an editor or at least an intern to pull this together. Unfortunately, I just didn’t have room in my imaginary Internet budget to pay for these kinds of expenditures.

So, where to go? Well, last week with the Great Gluten Debate I came to realize the power of Google Alerts. All I would need to do is type in a few popular search terms in the context of some questionable questions vaguely related to food. Bam! Instant Free Market Friday.  

What foods will be outlawed under Obamacare?

Peanut allergies? How come there weren’t no peanut allergies when I was a kid?

Where can I find a good recipe for veal stuffed with foie gras?

Are there any Internet coupons for farmed-raised shrimp I can use at Walmart?

What did Congressman Massa order at all those lunch dates?

Now, I wait for all the comments to roll in and watch for my imaginary Internet bonus to arrive in the mail.


Interest in NY Rep. Eric Massa's dining habits are key to RoCK's ratings. AP photo

Posted by Laura Vozzella at 11:33 AM | | Comments (4)


RoCK, I didn't know you were the one who kept leaving the door opened! So, THAT's who keeps lettin' em in!

Let's all go out for some fois stuffed veal, and then come back to Chez Joyce for some peanut butter Walmart shrimp & then we can discuss the Massa thing...

RoCK, you forgot Golden West's Sarah Palin Surf 'n' Turf: whale sushi and grilled puppy.

and hipsters...

Yea, I can't believe I missed hipsters. I also missed HFCS.

How about Congressman Massa's said to be snorkling High Fructose Corn Syrup with hipsters and staffers?

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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