Should regulars get special treatment?

YES - Definitely.

The idea of "friends and family" is very important. At a restaurant, regular customers are their bread and butter. The infrequent guest, their gravy. Excuse the puns.

I don't mind at all if the regulars get shown some love, as long as it isn't at the expense of the greeter sticking her fat behind in front of my gf just as she's about to pour a glass of expensive wine into a crystal wine glass. Yes, Mia Carolina with your tight bench seating, I AM talking about you! And you note that although I dropped quite a wad on you that night, I've NEVER been back.

There was also the eating with strangers on both sides of us issue, but that's another subject.

There's something called the "80/20" rule in businesses like restaurants. It means 20% of your customers contribute 80% of your revenue. Anyone who ever waited tables instinctively knows this. Yes, regulars should be treated well, recognized, and occasionally given some special treatment, BUT---never should this be at the expense of other guests. The goal of any business is to bring the customer back, and the quickest way NOT to do that is show disparity in customer service.

It is human nature to recognize folks you see often, especially if they've treated you well. Plus I like it when I feel part of a place. My local pizza joint isn't that good, but I recognize the guys who work there, they recognize me, when it isn't busy we chat a bit, and, on the rare occasions when I have pizza delivered rather than walk down the street, I'd never order from anyone else.

However, treating regulars well should never be at the expense of other customers, as Big Al and Joyce pointed out. You need to create new regulars, after all.

One place I frequented when I lived in Cambridge, MA would bring out free trial desserts for regulars. If you gave good feedback that the dessert chef found useful, you became a regular dessert taster (again, for free). This was something that benefited both the regulars who could explain why they liked or didn't like something and the restaurant.

All 4 previous post are bulls eye. They get it that all patrons are guest and need to be trated as such, regulars are the backbone of the restaurant.They deserve "favorite nation status" but not at the expernce of others.

Um, why do you assume its "she" holding that soup spoon?

Phil, going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing EL's referring to an actual incident with an actual person holding an actual spoon. Thus, the assumption as to the waitron's gender would like be based on physical appearance, dress, manner of speaking, etc.

Yes. El

I live in Catonsville and several years ago a family friend took my daughter and her friend to Jennings Cafe. My daughter, who was about 9 at the time, reported that the service was really good and friendly. I'm not sure what it says that at age 9 my daughter had been in enough restaurants with me to recognize good, friendly service, but she did. Based on her experience, we went there twice and were totally and completely ignored both times. We had different servers on these visits, but both of them managed to make us feel as if we didn't exist. They were very friendly to other tables who were apparently regulars based on the conversations we overheard, but they didn't make us feel welcomed at all. We haven't been back in 3 or 4 years; there are too many other restaurants that treated us warmly to bother with this place.

interesting topic. The Frugal Traveler just had a blog about Foursquare, which is a social networking platform geared toward rewarding users with perks at regular haunts.

But yes, I do think it's reasonable and intelligent for businesses to treat their regulars well. When I ran a coffee shop in NC, I did this, and encouraged my staff to do so. It pays off in more ways than revenue, but yes, it also helps your bottom line. People spend their money where they feel appreciated.

Waitron. Isn't that the name for an inhabitant of the new planet Wait...the one they found after de-planetizing Pluto (and the Plutrons)? Seriously, I just call 'em by whatever name they write on the paper that's covering the table.

OldPhil, I'm sure you realized I used the gender-neutral (and godawful) term waitron intentionally.

resolute man - I am.

I think the problem is, some places are notorious for going a little overboard with their treatment of regulars. To the new customers, this preferential treatment doesn't go unnoticed. When the new customers feel slighted or experience problems that other "regular" customers never experience (slow food, inattention from waitstaff, the whole 'do you have a reservation' when regulars don't need a reservation) then it's a clear problem.

Just my two cents.

My husband and I have only been to Cinghiale perhaps half a dozen times (sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with other people), but we were VERY impressed when one of the servers not only recognized us, but correctly remembered what wine my husband had ordered a few months before. That's how you create regular customers!

There is a pizza & sandwich shop in the Parkville shopping center that FL Rob thinks is The Best and I won't set foot in because the only time I was there - since the "new" ownership took over some years ago - the counterguys were busy exclaiming over the presence of a bunch of dudes who had walked in right ahead of us (let the door slam in out faces, BTW) while waving their friends who walked in right after us up to the front of the counter. (A couple of whom smelled kinda funky, but I digress.)

At the Sandwich Shop Where Everybody Knows My Name (as well as that of the Grandboys) a few block down Harford Road, it is cool to have someone actually care whether or not I show up.

Eve, just the other day I went to my usual sub shop on Taylor, and when I gave them my name they said "We know who you are". Good for thier busines (remebering people), bad for my waistline!

Dahlink hits on an important point.

It's been my experience that a restaurant earns my repeat business with precisely that sort of treatment.

I'll try any place once, but there are two elements that rise above the others when it comes to earning my continued patronage: food, and service.

captcha: the hectored

(more portentious than I care to have at this time)

I'm suspicious when people treat me better once they recognize me. That tells me that they don't really know me. Or they have poisoned my food.

I don't know if I've ever seen a restaurant do this: Some businesses regularly treat people who've never been customers, or are not currently customers, better than loyal customers. They offer discounts to lure new customers and don't offer the same discount to those who are already on the hook.
For example, I'd feel much better about my explitive deleted cable provider if once every other year it gave me a 3-month 10% discount for hanging with them (granted, not much choice). But no. The love is only for the suckers who are playing hard to get.
Not that I think restaurants could get away with that. I guess I just wanted to rant.

not making this up: Captcha -- spam he

jl, I have it on good authority that your cable provider hates you. His name is Jordy and he just doesn't get you. Sorry.

You have a point. In most human relationships, the courtship period is fraught with gifts and civilitie, whereas after the wedding each party reserves the right to proffer gifts and favors.

Trixe, I used to work in a setting where I had a little more "flexibility" than everyone else, so I was the self-appointed Lunch Gatherer. I would call our hole-in-the-wall Chinese Restaurant and, after awhile, the owner (owneress?) would ask, "This Eve? How many Hot & Sour soup you want?" One day, when I was swamped under in The-Never-Ending-Project, my officemate called the order in and, recognizing the order (we were not adventurous people) demanded, "Who Tom? Where Eve?"

Funny story Eve! You obviously made quite an impression on them!

I got a post card (from disney)once from a bartender that said "thanks for send my son and I on vacation". I guess I spent my vacation at his bar 4nights a week.
ps. rehab is nice

great topic! bartenders almost always have a set schedule so we can accumulate regulars, poeple tend to have certain nights that they go to the bar. I have an amazing assortment of thursday night regulars and when someone new sits down, it's my DUTY to try and make them a regular. I also extend this to the bar tables which I watch constantly, and when they are having bad service, I invite them to the bar where I will take care of them. the 80/20 is true but we try to make everyone want to be a regular.