A fun new game to make you forget about the impending doom
Passions have run high over the Super Bowl in Baltimore. OK, specifically over the Colts.
When one commenter who loves Indianapolis called Baltimore "this pit," Robert of Cross Keys responded, "Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Indiana with your corn, your 'One Day at a Time', and your little pink houses for you and me." ...
When I had picked myself off the floor where I had been rolling around and laughing, I thought maybe we could go through all the rest of the states naming three things, one of which has to be food, that sum up each state.
It needs to be in the same form that RoCK used. For instance, "Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Maryland with your crab fluff, your "Believe," and your gift-card-swiping politicians."
(Photo by Lisa Wiseman, Special to the Sun)










Comments
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Michigan with your cars, your Motown and your bowhunting, washed up so-called rock stars.
I liked "One Day at a Time." Had a crush on Mackenzie Phillips. Figures, eh?
Posted by: Lissa | February 9, 2010 10:10 AM
how about...
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Florida with your shrimp boil, your "Sunshine State," and your alligators.
I know, not as good as RoCK's and EL's.
Posted by: PCB Rob | February 9, 2010 10:10 AM
Or...
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Alabama with your boiled green peanuts, your Stars-n-Bars flags in the back of your pickups and your "Roll Tide! bumper stickers.
Posted by: PCB Rob | February 9, 2010 10:14 AM
well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to west virginia with your sister mother, your satellite dishes, and your recessive genes.
Posted by: unbelievaboh | February 9, 2010 10:24 AM
well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Texas with your stupid boots and hats and oversized steaks.
BTW, I like "One Day" too. My crush was on Valerie B. though!
Posted by: Joyce W. | February 9, 2010 10:27 AM
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Oregon with your hazelnut crusted, cedar plank wild salmon, your "Keep Portland Weird," and your reusable hemp grocery bag.
Posted by: Tim | February 9, 2010 10:28 AM
...back to New Jersey witcha yer pork roll, yer Sopranos and yer turnpike.
Posted by: Eve | February 9, 2010 10:32 AM
Well if that’s how you feel, you should go back to Ohio, with your fried bologna, countless unsuccessful sports franchises and ABBA inclusive R&R HoF!
Posted by: b5 | February 9, 2010 10:34 AM
Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Maine with your lobstah, your moose, and your trips over the state line to that Vermont liquor store. Can you believe the prices there? Look how much vodka I got for just $20!
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 10:39 AM
Well, if that's how you feel, you should go back to Minnesota with your lutefisk, your schnapps, and your Volkswagen sized mosquitos!
Posted by: Steffi | February 9, 2010 10:45 AM
Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Massachusetts with your baked beans, countless Phish rip off bands and politicly suicidal Democrats. (Apologies to folks in Western Mass., aka Southern Vermont).
sean, you nailed Maine.
Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Vermont with your lax licensing, cows and long, boring town meetings.
Posted by: Lissa | February 9, 2010 10:46 AM
Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Hawaii with your Spam, your long-haired, blonde surfer boys in jams shorts, six-pack abs glistening and wet in the sunlight, flashing those pearly white teeth at you in that casual way... sorry, what were we doing?
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 10:48 AM
As a WVian, I'd have to point out that WV has 1.8 million residents. If you figure that WV is 75% redneck, that's 1.35 million rednecks in the Moutain State. Maryland has 6 million residents give-or-take. Even if MD is only 25% (and I've traveled all over my new home...it's a conservative estimate) you've got us beat with 1.5 million.
My sister runs the communications shop for a major University College of Arts & Sciences. My mother's retired, after her Ph.D. (from Harvard) and 30 year career working to improve rural schools and community development.
My recessive genes give me hazel eyes and the chicks, I am told, dig it.
I like a commenter who fights back. :-) EL
Posted by: kitchengeeking | February 9, 2010 10:49 AM
Since the initial commentator was talking about Baltimore, try it with cities, too. (It looks like RoCK's formula was a local food, a TV reference, and a song lyric.)
"Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Baltimore with your
Berger cookies, your 'oh-it's totally-fictional-but-isn't-that-dialogue-life-like'-Wire episodes, and your 'got a wife and kids down in Baltimore Jack; I went out for a ride and I never went back.'
shylock vote (my Shakespearean pollster name)
Posted by: Cleatus | February 9, 2010 10:51 AM
Well if that’s how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Tennessee with your Moon Pies, Nashville sound “country” music, and day-glow orange alumni attire.
Can't use barbeque as the food example because it's so good, it doesn't make for an insult.
Posted by: KristinB | February 9, 2010 10:53 AM
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Wisconsin with your Cheese, your Sewer Socialism, and your "Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated."
Posted by: Brockelman | February 9, 2010 10:53 AM
kitchengeeking, well which is it? Is your sister mother retired or working for a major University College? Cuz it can't be both!
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 11:14 AM
Also, gotta say, shes sounds like .
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 11:17 AM
Also, gotta say, shes sounds like an anomaly.
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 11:24 AM
Point to Sean!
At least that was just water I was drinking when I read that.
Posted by: KristinB | February 9, 2010 11:28 AM
Maybe you should go back to South Dakota with your ... um .... er .... southness and dakotaness and .... what do you eat, prairie dogs?
Posted by: jl | February 9, 2010 11:30 AM
jl, buffalo? 5 cent truck stop coffee? Um...
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 11:36 AM
Sorry for the double post - I totally West Virginia'd that one.
(Note: actually a big WV fan - beautiful country and reasonable speed limits FTW)
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 11:38 AM
I hear houses in South Dakota are even less expensive than houses in Detroit.
Posted by: Lissa | February 9, 2010 11:41 AM
Lissa, when did they put houses in South Dakota? Was that part of the stimulus package?
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 11:44 AM
The Official State Dessert of South Dakota is kuchen.
Posted by: Bucky | February 9, 2010 11:58 AM
I thought kuchen was a Wisconsin thing?
Posted by: Lissa | February 9, 2010 12:42 PM
Silly me, here I was thinking Kuchen was German!
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 12:50 PM
Didn't half of Germany move to Wisconsin after the failed revolution of 1848?
Posted by: Lissa | February 9, 2010 1:30 PM
what do you eat, prairie dogs?
This time of year, probably snow. Just not the yellow variety.
Posted by: PCB Rob | February 9, 2010 3:19 PM
PCB Rob, you're talking about Baltimore, right?
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 3:29 PM
Lissa-
Yes, and that is why they make bratwusts with beer. Like, injected. And, of course, with beer to drink,too.
Captcha: wet papas- all the fathers shoveling snow
Posted by: Frequent Little Italy Restaurant Visitor | February 9, 2010 3:56 PM
sean,
I was talking about South Dakota but it would fit for Baltimore right about now.
I can't believe all the snow you are getting.
Posted by: PCB Rob | February 9, 2010 3:59 PM
Rob, we can't believe all the snow we are getting, either.
Unfortunately, the snow seems to believe in us.
Posted by: Lissa | February 9, 2010 4:01 PM
Speaking of snow...
EL, if you're looking for a job, it seems WJZ still needs editors:
If you've shoveled the snow, then you know the dilemma. Where all the snow should be placed?
Posted by: sean | February 9, 2010 4:20 PM
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to New Jersey with your pizza joints, your "Turnpike exits", and your "pay to get on ocean beaches" .
Posted by: Jack Ziegler | February 9, 2010 4:44 PM
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Alaska with your reindeer sausage, "Alaskans for Global Warming" bumper sticker, and Caribou Barbie.
Posted by: Tim | February 9, 2010 4:59 PM
South Dakota doesn't need a stimulus. I think it has the lowest unemployment in the nation.
If anyone has ever heard Aniban Basu, he's a celebrity economist in the area, he will always say that any position that North or South Dakato has in any economic ranking is to be disregarded by virtue of the "Dakota Rule". The "Dakota Rule" is basically that nobody cares about the Dakotas.
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | February 9, 2010 5:14 PM
Actually, RoCK, South Dakota got at least an indirect stimulus package benefit from TARP, which saved Citigroup (and its massive South Dakota-based credit card operations) from going under.
ReCaptcha: to fumbled (describing Citigroup prior to TARP)
Posted by: hmpstd | February 9, 2010 6:18 PM
Well, if that how you feel perhaps you should go back to Pittsburgh with your Rothlisbergers at Primati's, your Mister Rodger's Neighborhood, and your "Here we go Steelers"
Posted by: Frequent Little Italy Restaurant Visitor | February 9, 2010 8:46 PM
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Idaho with your potatoes, your militia groups, and "Underground like a wild potato. Don't go on the patio. Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool."
Posted by: Cosmos Girl l>--l | February 9, 2010 8:48 PM
I grew up in Indiana and don't know anyone who associates "One Day at a Time" with the state. Try basketball. Or the Indy 500.
Posted by: Elissa | February 9, 2010 9:09 PM
When I was a kid, I remeber the opening credits of "One Day at a Time" featuring interstate signs for Indianapolis. For whatever reason, that memory is very vivid for me.
Oh, and let's face it, Schneider is way funnier than hoops or cars going round in a circle.
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | February 9, 2010 9:29 PM
spam at 12:24 am
Posted by: MDtopdad | February 10, 2010 1:03 AM
sean wrote: Silly me, here I was thinking Kuchen was German!
I've worked with two people who I know were born in the Dakotas, one South and one North. Their last names were Boespflug and Pflughoeft. That's probably an indication of why kuchen is the official state dessert.
Posted by: Bucky | February 10, 2010 9:50 AM
They have last names in North Dakota?
Posted by: Eve | February 10, 2010 10:25 AM