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February 9, 2010

A fun new game to make you forget about the impending doom

CrabFluff.jpg

 

Passions have run high over the Super Bowl in Baltimore. OK, specifically over the Colts.

When one commenter who loves Indianapolis called Baltimore "this pit," Robert of Cross Keys responded, "Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Indiana with your corn, your 'One Day at a Time', and your little pink houses for you and me." ...

When I had picked myself off the floor where I had been rolling around and laughing, I thought maybe we could go through all the rest of the states naming three things, one of which has to be food, that sum up each state.

It needs to be in the same form that RoCK used. For instance,  "Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Maryland with your crab fluff, your "Believe," and your gift-card-swiping politicians."

(Photo by Lisa Wiseman, Special to the Sun)

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 9:22 AM | | Comments (46)
        

Comments

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Michigan with your cars, your Motown and your bowhunting, washed up so-called rock stars.

I liked "One Day at a Time." Had a crush on Mackenzie Phillips. Figures, eh?

how about...
Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Florida with your shrimp boil, your "Sunshine State," and your alligators.

I know, not as good as RoCK's and EL's.

Or...

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Alabama with your boiled green peanuts, your Stars-n-Bars flags in the back of your pickups and your "Roll Tide! bumper stickers.

well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to west virginia with your sister mother, your satellite dishes, and your recessive genes.

well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Texas with your stupid boots and hats and oversized steaks.

BTW, I like "One Day" too. My crush was on Valerie B. though!

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Oregon with your hazelnut crusted, cedar plank wild salmon, your "Keep Portland Weird," and your reusable hemp grocery bag.

...back to New Jersey witcha yer pork roll, yer Sopranos and yer turnpike.

Well if that’s how you feel, you should go back to Ohio, with your fried bologna, countless unsuccessful sports franchises and ABBA inclusive R&R HoF!

Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Maine with your lobstah, your moose, and your trips over the state line to that Vermont liquor store. Can you believe the prices there? Look how much vodka I got for just $20!

Well, if that's how you feel, you should go back to Minnesota with your lutefisk, your schnapps, and your Volkswagen sized mosquitos!

Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Massachusetts with your baked beans, countless Phish rip off bands and politicly suicidal Democrats. (Apologies to folks in Western Mass., aka Southern Vermont).

sean, you nailed Maine.

Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Vermont with your lax licensing, cows and long, boring town meetings.

Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Hawaii with your Spam, your long-haired, blonde surfer boys in jams shorts, six-pack abs glistening and wet in the sunlight, flashing those pearly white teeth at you in that casual way... sorry, what were we doing?

As a WVian, I'd have to point out that WV has 1.8 million residents. If you figure that WV is 75% redneck, that's 1.35 million rednecks in the Moutain State. Maryland has 6 million residents give-or-take. Even if MD is only 25% (and I've traveled all over my new home...it's a conservative estimate) you've got us beat with 1.5 million.

My sister runs the communications shop for a major University College of Arts & Sciences. My mother's retired, after her Ph.D. (from Harvard) and 30 year career working to improve rural schools and community development.

My recessive genes give me hazel eyes and the chicks, I am told, dig it.

I like a commenter who fights back. :-) EL

Since the initial commentator was talking about Baltimore, try it with cities, too. (It looks like RoCK's formula was a local food, a TV reference, and a song lyric.)

"Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Baltimore with your
Berger cookies, your 'oh-it's totally-fictional-but-isn't-that-dialogue-life-like'-Wire episodes, and your 'got a wife and kids down in Baltimore Jack; I went out for a ride and I never went back.'

shylock vote (my Shakespearean pollster name)

Well if that’s how you feel, perhaps you should go back to Tennessee with your Moon Pies, Nashville sound “country” music, and day-glow orange alumni attire.

Can't use barbeque as the food example because it's so good, it doesn't make for an insult.

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Wisconsin with your Cheese, your Sewer Socialism, and your "Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated."

kitchengeeking, well which is it? Is your sister mother retired or working for a major University College? Cuz it can't be both!

Also, gotta say, shes sounds like .

Also, gotta say, shes sounds like an anomaly.

Point to Sean!

At least that was just water I was drinking when I read that.

Maybe you should go back to South Dakota with your ... um .... er .... southness and dakotaness and .... what do you eat, prairie dogs?

jl, buffalo? 5 cent truck stop coffee? Um...

Sorry for the double post - I totally West Virginia'd that one.

(Note: actually a big WV fan - beautiful country and reasonable speed limits FTW)

I hear houses in South Dakota are even less expensive than houses in Detroit.

Lissa, when did they put houses in South Dakota? Was that part of the stimulus package?

The Official State Dessert of South Dakota is kuchen.

I thought kuchen was a Wisconsin thing?

Silly me, here I was thinking Kuchen was German!

Didn't half of Germany move to Wisconsin after the failed revolution of 1848?

what do you eat, prairie dogs?

This time of year, probably snow. Just not the yellow variety.

PCB Rob, you're talking about Baltimore, right?

Lissa-

Yes, and that is why they make bratwusts with beer. Like, injected. And, of course, with beer to drink,too.

Captcha: wet papas- all the fathers shoveling snow

sean,
I was talking about South Dakota but it would fit for Baltimore right about now.
I can't believe all the snow you are getting.

Rob, we can't believe all the snow we are getting, either.

Unfortunately, the snow seems to believe in us.

Speaking of snow...

EL, if you're looking for a job, it seems WJZ still needs editors:

If you've shoveled the snow, then you know the dilemma. Where all the snow should be placed?

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to New Jersey with your pizza joints, your "Turnpike exits", and your "pay to get on ocean beaches" .

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Alaska with your reindeer sausage, "Alaskans for Global Warming" bumper sticker, and Caribou Barbie.

South Dakota doesn't need a stimulus. I think it has the lowest unemployment in the nation.

If anyone has ever heard Aniban Basu, he's a celebrity economist in the area, he will always say that any position that North or South Dakato has in any economic ranking is to be disregarded by virtue of the "Dakota Rule". The "Dakota Rule" is basically that nobody cares about the Dakotas.

Actually, RoCK, South Dakota got at least an indirect stimulus package benefit from TARP, which saved Citigroup (and its massive South Dakota-based credit card operations) from going under.

ReCaptcha: to fumbled (describing Citigroup prior to TARP)

Well, if that how you feel perhaps you should go back to Pittsburgh with your Rothlisbergers at Primati's, your Mister Rodger's Neighborhood, and your "Here we go Steelers"

Well, if that's how you feel perhaps you should go back to Idaho with your potatoes, your militia groups, and "Underground like a wild potato. Don't go on the patio. Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool."

I grew up in Indiana and don't know anyone who associates "One Day at a Time" with the state. Try basketball. Or the Indy 500.

When I was a kid, I remeber the opening credits of "One Day at a Time" featuring interstate signs for Indianapolis. For whatever reason, that memory is very vivid for me.

Oh, and let's face it, Schneider is way funnier than hoops or cars going round in a circle.

spam at 12:24 am

sean wrote: Silly me, here I was thinking Kuchen was German!

I've worked with two people who I know were born in the Dakotas, one South and one North. Their last names were Boespflug and Pflughoeft. That's probably an indication of why kuchen is the official state dessert.

They have last names in North Dakota?

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.
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