The worst food names
Once again our Shallow Thought Wednesday guru and guest poster John Lindner is willing to come out and say what we've all been secretly thinking but were embarrassed to sound so childish. Just take a moment to roll some of these words around on your tongue. Mooooooo-ousse, for instance. You'll see what I mean. Here's John with the ...
Top 10 Worst Food Names for Stuff That’s Not as Bad (sometimes close though) as It Sounds
1. mousse
2. tofu (sounds too much like “toe food”)
3. scrapple *
4. Spam (made worse by its association with inbox constipating junk mail)
5. leeks
6. scrod
7. groats
8. pad prik
9. ratatouille
10. spotted dick (and to think the British almost conquered the world)
* Regarding scrapple’s taste, I’m basing this on reputation, not experience.
Note: Tongue would be on here but there’s no other word for it – tongue is tongue – so it’s disqualified.
(Photo of Yabba Pot tofu kabobs by Patrick Smith/Sun photographer)
Comments
Junket. IIRC, it didn't taste any better than it sounded.
Tapioca doesn't sound like something I want to eat. EL
Posted by: Laura Lee | December 2, 2009 12:56 PM
me and my friend always joke about chutney sounding pretty nasty (even though i love it).
we also always talk about foods that are funny to say: arooooogala and chutney always make the list.
yes...we're easily amused.
Posted by: ryan97ou | December 2, 2009 1:29 PM
I agree that Spotted Dick is about the worst food name ever. Haggis and Toad in the Hole aren't much better. They seem to have a special genius for such things in the British Isles.
Posted by: Jim | December 2, 2009 1:30 PM
Pork belly, gizzards, tripe, mince meat, head cheese, pig's feet (I guess that's like tongue).
Posted by: terpfan | December 2, 2009 1:36 PM
I had an Irish uncle that after a few, well more than a few, would tell anyone that still had their hearing, that a scrod was an unmarried male cod (that is, a cod w/ a scrotum).
Posted by: The Hot Dog Barker | December 2, 2009 1:36 PM
My mother drinks "punjana" tea. I can't ever see it without snickering.
Posted by: qzans | December 2, 2009 2:13 PM
Not exactly bad, but I always thought Squirt was an odd name for a soft drink. Thankfully, it's not the color of Mountain Dew.
Posted by: Bucky | December 2, 2009 2:17 PM
Can you, as an adult, imagine yourself entering an International House of Pancakes and ordering a Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N' Fruity breakfast?
Posted by: John McIntyre | December 2, 2009 2:23 PM
Don't forget the British also gave us the faggot!
Posted by: EdG | December 2, 2009 3:19 PM
How did Pu Pu Platter not make this list?
Posted by: TS1 | December 2, 2009 3:40 PM
Head cheese. GACK. That has to be the worst. Like making toe cheese into a food item.
That would be a good "Would you Rather" question. Would you rather eat head cheese or spotted dick?
Posted by: Christine the Lioness | December 2, 2009 4:49 PM
I won't eat anything that include "Fat Ass" in the name.
Posted by: Dahlink | December 2, 2009 6:18 PM
#8: While we're on the subject of Thai food, I'm reminded that mee krob has somehow taken on a weird second life as a catch-all punchline throughout odd corners of pop culture.
Do note that the South Park reference is readily Not Entirely SFW.
Posted by: El Generalissimo | December 2, 2009 7:34 PM
John how could you forget Head Cheese....
Posted by: Peter Kaizer | December 2, 2009 9:20 PM
chiterlings....just gross sounding....same thing with head cheese and tripe.
Posted by: Sherry W. | December 2, 2009 9:41 PM
I feel doubly ashamed about the head cheese miss. I had thought of it, but somehow reckoned the day I put the list together that ratatouille sounded worse. Embarrassing.
Thanks God it's shallow thought wednesday.
Captcha: pastels Taipings
Posted by: jl | December 2, 2009 10:08 PM
Not exactly bad, but I always thought Squirt was an odd name for a soft drink. Thankfully, it's not the color of Mountain Dew.
Once upon a time, the same company distributed both Squirt and another bottled beverage. The slogan on the side of the delivery trucks said, "Drink Schlitz and Squirt!"
Posted by: bra1nchild | December 2, 2009 11:18 PM
Poutine always struck me as unpalatable. Disco fries are much better!
Also...Sweetbreads. No so much a bad name as it is misleading!
Posted by: dcdiva | December 3, 2009 8:14 AM
I'll call your Spotted Dick and raise you a Drowned Baby.
Posted by: Cheap Jim | December 3, 2009 9:34 AM
I know the jl drill, so I made sure not to have a mouthful of coffee as I read this. I laughed out loud here at my desk. Thinking I was safe, I swigged the coffee and McIntyre caught me offgaurd!
I really think that tofurkey is ickier sounding than tofu.
Posted by: Eve | December 3, 2009 11:09 AM
Mr. McIntyre, I can imagine ordering that as an adult. I cannot, however, imagine ordering it with a straight face. :p
captcha: sexless HOPE
Posted by: Stacy | December 3, 2009 11:57 AM
Really now, can hope be sexless?
Posted by: Trixie | December 3, 2009 12:35 PM
Can you, as an adult, imagine yourself entering an International House of Pancakes and ordering a Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N' Fruity breakfast?
Unsurprisingly, yes I can.
Posted by: Bucky | December 3, 2009 12:58 PM
An ex-employee of the place told me that
IHOP stands for "I Hate Old People" among the workers.
captcha: 000 given
Posted by: PCB Rob | December 3, 2009 1:50 PM
Eve, I think it's the "urkey" in "tofurkey" that triggers the gag reflex.
Posted by: Dahlink | December 3, 2009 3:34 PM
On the same grounds as Eve, Turducken for some reason just makes me shiver.
Posted by: Trixie | December 3, 2009 4:31 PM
Let's not forget the great British meal made from leftovers and scrambled eggs.
BUBBLE AND SQUEAK.
They sure know how to name a dish
Posted by: MDtopdad | December 3, 2009 7:27 PM
I could have sworn that bubble and squeak was cabbage and potatoes fried together? No eggs.
Posted by: Lissa | December 3, 2009 8:35 PM
baba ghanoush
That's the sound most people make before they vomit.
Posted by: Cleatus | December 3, 2009 8:58 PM
Potatoes and cabbage kmuckle toscaninicombo is colcannon, Bubble and squeak can contain these ingredients since they may have been served with the Sunday roast dinner. The practice of eggs added may have been unique to my British neighbor Jaquie Morrison who lived in the next apartment when I lived in Towson.
Posted by: MDtopdad | December 4, 2009 8:17 AM
I have no idea how knuckles toscanini, my previous captcha ended up in the middle of that fisrt sentence. It should have read potatoes and cabbage combo is colcannon. Sorry,(Silly Captcha!!)
Posted by: mdtopdad | December 4, 2009 8:24 AM
MDtopdad - At first I thought knuckles toscanni was your vote for "worst food names"! I was going to google it...
Posted by: Trixie | December 4, 2009 9:09 AM
My English-born grandmother (Manchester) called leftover cabbage and potatoes, chopped and fried together in leftover bacon fat in a black iron skillet Bubble & Squeak.
Posted by: Eve | December 4, 2009 10:17 AM
this entire exchange of comments has cracked me up. especially the Squirt comments and rooty tooty fresh and fruity. LOL!! Thanks folks...needed a good laugh!
Posted by: holly | December 4, 2009 3:41 PM
Catching up after long absence, the comments to this post made me realize how much I miss this blog. JMc you really got me this time when I wasn't expecting it...
Happy New Year everyone. Can someone explain the captcha references? Or at least point me to where it began?
Posted by: Bourbon Girl | January 3, 2010 12:05 AM
Hey Bourbon Girl!
Welcome back! This is just too weird. A little while ago I thought to myself, "haven't heard from BG in awhile" and then this post shows up.
Happy New Year and cheers!
Posted by: PCB Rob | January 5, 2010 5:57 PM