The fruitcake quandary
I have a dirty little secret to confess: I like fruitcake. And what's happened to fruitcake in my lifetime annoys me.
I guess store-bought fruitcakes are the reason it's now the butt of so many jokes, but you simply can't make and give fruitcake anymore and expect it to be appreciated.
I've written about this before on this blog, but I'm bringing up the subject again because the same thing is happening (or has happened) to holiday sweaters. ...
I wish I could cut each of you a slice of my mother's Virginia fruitcake to try. It's a white fruitcake, which means it's made with finely diced citron (cut by hand), Brazil nuts and pecans and is light in color. It is, of course, soaked for months in brandy and rum, so it's quite alcoholic. A very adult treat to have thinly sliced with tea.
Needless to say, it looks nothing like the fruitcake pictured. It has no candied cherries, and all the nuts are chopped quite fine.
I used to make a batch every year until my brother (yes, Brother Bim, that brother) made some really ugly fruitcake jokes one year when I sent him one. Since he worships everything else that ever came out of our mother's kitchen even more than I do, I realized everyone else I gave a fruitcake to must have just been being polite.
My husband and Gailor, of course, aren't interested because it doesn't involve chocolate.
When I was at Whole Foods the other day, the bakery was handing out samples of its fruitcake. It was nice and moist, and I'm sure the ingredients were all very healthy, but there wasn't even the fragrance of alcohol. I didn't really see the point.
I love all the old-fashioned Christmas desserts, probably because my father the English professor did. My mother made a plum pudding every year, with suet of course; and he was in charge of making the hard sauce. He insisted on creaming the butter with granulated sugar because that's how the Victorians would have done it. (They didn't have confectioners sugar.) My younger brother and I hated it because it was grainy.
I even made a figgy pudding once.
(AP Photo/Ryan Hasler)








Comments
I love a good fruit cake. I even like a so-so fruit cake.
There are no bad fruit cakes, just bad people.
I will be setting up a table on High St on Dec. 26 to collect your unwanted fruit cakes.
You were expecting something sarcastic, weren't you?
Posted by: Owl Meat GimmSomeFruitcake | December 21, 2009 2:03 PM
They could probably move a lot more holiday sweaters if they stopped making them look like fruitcakes.
Captcha: The pressure
Posted by: jl | December 21, 2009 2:15 PM
i don't know how you could have the patience for this blog if you didn't have a fondness for fruitcakes
Posted by: unbelievaboh | December 21, 2009 2:21 PM
Another fruitcake fan here. Opening a tin of fruitcake on a snowy winter day with a cup of tea. Great.
Posted by: ruth | December 21, 2009 2:24 PM
I buy my fruitcakes from the Abbey of of Gethsemani. The cakes are baked by Kentucky monks, so of course they are made with bourbon.
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | December 21, 2009 2:24 PM
I'm ringing in on fruitcakes. Even a so-so one can be made good with enough booze.
unbelievaboh has comment of the week
Posted by: Kitkat | December 21, 2009 2:35 PM
Fruitcakes are okay to me, and I agree with Kitkat in that enough booze will make any fruitcake better.
My mom still makes one for my brother every year. She used to make a severak of them every year.
might Falser
Posted by: PCB Rob | December 21, 2009 3:01 PM
I hate to be a contrarian, but I hate fruitcake (although I will make an exception for cousin B's in Minnesota--maybe it's the cold weather that makes her exceptional).
Worse Christmas gift ever was a re-gifted commercial fruit cake from a family member (just after they had told us how they hated getting fruitcake from another family member every year).
Posted by: Dahlink | December 21, 2009 3:03 PM
I love fruitcake. Making them is a family tradition. Each year the family gets together and we make a dozen or more with my great-grandmother's recipe. We soak ours in wine, home made if we have some. They usually don't go out of the family except to very special friends. This year, one fell apart coming out of the oven, so we all sampled the cake, warm from the oven with vanilla ice cream on top. Yummy!!!!
Posted by: chichi | December 21, 2009 3:24 PM
I'm with Gailor and her dad - if there's no chocolate, what's the point?
My wife makes fruitcake every year...and says it's for the brother-in-law. She can't fool me; she keeps them when others reject them...
Posted by: Zevonista | December 21, 2009 3:26 PM
I made a "Christmas cake" this year, using a friend's family recipe (her family is Kiwi). Although it's supposed to be fed for the few weeks leading up to Christmas, I haven't, because I'm pregnant and don't want it to be alcoholic. It's well-preserved in an airtight container in a cool place, but I'm hoping it won't be too dry when it comes time to decorate with marzipan and royal icing!!
Posted by: HJK | December 21, 2009 3:36 PM
I enjoy fruitcake although we haven't had one in years. We are making a red velvet cake with coconut this year.
Unbelievaboh definitely should get the comment of the week - haha.
Posted by: NotableM | December 21, 2009 3:54 PM
My mother used to buy a number of fruitcakes each year to give as Christmas gifts to the mailman, teachers, etc. This was eons before the Internet,, so I presume she mailed off her order sometime int the fall. The cakes would each be in a cigar-box-like white container (I am reluctant to name the company; I think they're still in business and probably have many fans...). To this day, I can recall the (to my mind) nasty, cloying, perfumey aroma of these fruitcakes. And, to this day, I cannot abide fruitcake ... even those that I am assured are "different." No amount of bourbon/brandy/rum ... hell, tequila could redeem fruitcake for me. Sorry. Gack
Captcha, however, has a suggestion: 14 muscatel
Posted by: BankStreet | December 21, 2009 4:29 PM
That I will never again taste my grandmother's fruitcake or blackberry cobbler -- both secrets went to the grave with her -- is among life's enduring regrets.
Atwater's makes a creditably fruitcake, though, frankly, they could be a little more liberal with the rum.
The people who despise fruitcake are more to be pitied than censured.
Posted by: John McIntyre | December 21, 2009 5:11 PM
I accept Mr. McIntyre's pity with grace, humility, and resolve.
In fact, according to Captcha: knuckle resolving
Posted by: BankStreet | December 21, 2009 5:46 PM
My British father made fruitcake every year from his father's recipe. He always made it on "Stir-Up" Sunday which is about the third Sunday in November, and has a bible verse saying "Stir up our hearts, o Lord". It had plenty of brandy in it and it was iced with an almond paste and then a royal icing.
I wrote about it here.
WV: Chitlins
Posted by: Pigtown | December 21, 2009 6:21 PM
My dearest friend reports that this is the Christmas his mother will finally break out the fruitcake she baked 25 years ago, which she stores in a tin and annually heavily souses with rum. Thinking he was joking - and fearing for his demise - I googled "25 year old fruitcake" and was amazed to read: According to The Joy of Cooking, by Irma Rombauer and Marion Becker, "Many people feel that these cakes improve greatly with age. When they are well saturated with alcoholic liquors, which raise the spirits and keep down mold, and are buried in powdered sugar in tightly closed tins, they have been enjoyed as long as 25 years after baking." Curious, has anyone ever eaten (gummed, slurped?) a, um, mature fruitcake?
Posted by: Donna Beth Joy Shapiro | December 21, 2009 7:03 PM
i like my women like i like my fruitcake-- full of liquor and aged to perfection
Posted by: unbelievaboh | December 21, 2009 8:17 PM
There is only one fruitcake. It is passed around. One can eat it if one is heavily soused in rum.
Posted by: Maxice | December 21, 2009 8:54 PM
i like my women like i like my fruitcake-- full of liquor and aged to perfection
Trust me, those two are mutually exclusive. I know.
Side note: Isn't it time you stopped with the childish italic bold? Be annoying with words not fonts.
Posted by: Owl Meat GoSlowly | December 21, 2009 8:54 PM
a fruit cake haiku
I love good fruit cake.
It's alcoholic flavor.
Don't be a hater!
Posted by: Sherry W. | December 21, 2009 9:04 PM
So nice to see so many fellow fruitcake lovers. I like Atwater's cake, and wrapping it in a couple of layers of booze-laden cheesecloth (I mix rum and brandy) improves both flavor and texture. Store it in a tin and age it at least a few days, but it tastes better the longer it ages. I bought an Atwater cake last February (at half price), wrapped in soaked cheesecloth, and put it in a tin. I checked it the other day. There's no mold or spoilage, and BOY, is it tasty! I'm looking forward to eating it on Christmas.
top Dorsal (Cleatus' pirate name)
Posted by: Dottie | December 22, 2009 12:07 AM
One of my fondest food memories is of the night three of us got stoned and then walked to the center of our little town to go Christmas shopping. At one store they were selling the ubiquitous Claxton fruitcakes for some charity. We must have worked up a mighty hunger on that walk because we bought one of those cakes, left the store and ate the whole thing right there on the street. It was--can you guess?--delicious. We considered buying another one but decided that a second one might be a surfeit of sensory perfection.
Posted by: flaquita | December 22, 2009 12:56 AM
My family has been "re-gifting" the same fruitcake for at least 15 years.
Posted by: billy butterbean | December 22, 2009 1:54 AM
"Side note: Isn't it time you stopped with the childish italic bold? Be annoying with words not fonts."
owl meat getoverit
Posted by: Anonymous | December 22, 2009 6:25 AM
flaquita, that is a great Christmas story.
Posted by: Stacy | December 22, 2009 7:57 AM
Ah, I had forgotten Atwater's fruitcake. They were giving away samples last year and it was indeed good, but not good enough to inspire me to actually purchase one. Besides, I had a small portion of cousin B's fruitcake waiting at home.
There was an article in the paper a day or two ago that really offended me. The advice on how to avoid gaining weight over the holidays advised that you should graciously accept any food gifts, then take them home and throw them out. Please--there are still hungry people in this country. If you don't want that fruitcake, I'm sure someone else would appreciate it.
enjoy Acquaint. Uh huh. 'Tis the season.
Posted by: Dahlink | December 22, 2009 8:22 AM
More fruitcake haiku:
As Homer Simpson would say:
"Hmmmmm...fruitcake...
What are all those yellow things?"
end Mingo (my Cherokee proctologist name)
Posted by: Cleatus | December 22, 2009 8:45 AM
My grandfather used to own a grocery store in S. Carolina, and the bakeries would give him tons of fruitcakes in tins. He'd pour a bottle of bourbon, brandy, or rum on them, stash them in the back of the corner cabinet for a year. He'd give them out to his friends and employees then. Dad said every Christmas the housekeeper would be drunk as a skunk off 2 slices of fruitcake.
Posted by: MountChuck | December 22, 2009 9:50 AM
My husband and I love fruitcake(you have to taste the rum )...it reminds us of the wonderful Christmases of our growing up years in India. We used to get them from Williams and Sonoma...but you have to order them in advance. Atwater's is good too!
Posted by: indira | December 22, 2009 9:51 AM
Eww, "Polanski lancer"? Really?
Posted by: Trixie | December 22, 2009 10:49 AM
I like "real" fruit cake (fruit cake sans the candied fruit).
best snow captcha "local trudging"
Posted by: Joyce W. | December 22, 2009 10:55 AM
HJK – what’s Kiwi? New Zealander?
McI – I miss my grandmother’s blackberry cobbler. I think she used Bisquik, but really, I just miss her. I have a cobbler recipe that I make in her memory for “important” occasions.
Posted by: Eve | December 22, 2009 11:37 AM
The best thing about the holidays? Fruitcake.
Posted by: MDP | December 23, 2009 4:04 AM
MDP, I think I can agree with that. Afterall, there's nothing great about insanely spending money I don't have, crowded stores, and holiday Muzak!
Posted by: Joyce W. | December 23, 2009 9:05 AM
I feel at a loss if a holiday season passes without getting a fruitcake from Collin St. Bakery in Corsicana, TX. Wish I could get more excited about the fruitcakes from the monastery that my priest goes to every August.
http://www.collinstreet.com/
Marjory Vindica
Posted by: Patrick | December 23, 2009 10:16 PM
That is wonderful post. One of my best food memories is the night three of us were stoned and then walked to the center of our little town to shop for Christmas.
Posted by: eye lift guide | February 12, 2011 4:09 AM