Foods you can spread on wet cardboard to make it taste great
As I was going through the comments on an earlier post, I came across this intriguing one by Cleatus:
Re: JM's Granny Early's Sour Cream Cookies (sounds great, BTW): There are only a few food substances like sour cream, but it's true: you can spread it on old wet cardboard and it'll taste great. Soy sauce is another one. Chocolate, of course is another. Almond paste. Brie. Nominations?
Hal nominated garlic butter, and Joyce W. came up with grilling (which I'm not sure counts) and Nutella. ...
What interests me is that my "food you can dip/spread/pour on wet cardboard and it will taste great" isn't any of these.
Well, maybe garlic butter.
But if I can only have one, I would say brown butter. When I was going through my high-calorie breakfast phase I would make waffles every morning and eat them with brown butter, real maple syrup and crisp bacon.
Its nutty brown butteryness is equally good on vegetables, meat, fish, popcorn, frosting and I don't know what all.
(AP Photo of catfish with brown butter, prosciutto and almonds/Catfish Institute)
Comments
Chevre
Posted by: Donna Beth Joy Shapiro | December 7, 2009 6:49 AM
I saw the post title and immediately thought of garlic, butter and basil. I've always said that the French put it on snails just to prove that it makes anything taste good.
Posted by: Matt | December 7, 2009 7:29 AM
Southern-fried wet cardboard. Given a properly constructed batter and oil at the correct temperature, a Southerner would happily eat deep-fried lint.
Posted by: John McIntyre | December 7, 2009 7:46 AM
So right, Matt. Snails are the liver of shellfish. But unlike liver, I like snails. Perhaps it's the garlic, butter, basil and parmesan cheese.
Captcha: clusion drains (truer words, right?)
Posted by: jl | December 7, 2009 7:55 AM
Maybe deep-frying in general ... The menus at various state fairs seem to support the theory that plenty of things are improved by frying, like pickles, and Coke.
Posted by: Liz Kay | December 7, 2009 7:56 AM
Got any old wet cardboard around the house? Feel like a nosh? Go Greek. Slather on hummus, tzasiki and tormosalata. If you have any pita in the larder, though, feel free to chuck the cardboard.
Posted by: Michael A. Gray | December 7, 2009 8:19 AM
Pesto
Posted by: City Redux | December 7, 2009 8:21 AM
The chorizo flameado from Mari Luna.
Posted by: Elite Elephant Lover | December 7, 2009 9:30 AM
Worcestershire sauce
Posted by: Bob | December 7, 2009 9:31 AM
Port Wine Cheddar Cheese, that stuff in the tubs in the dairy case.
Posted by: PCB Rob | December 7, 2009 9:59 AM
Honey makes anything taste good.
Posted by: Bill | December 7, 2009 10:19 AM
bacon, bleu cheese, hollandaise, bernaise, sausage gravy (or any good gravy for that matter). made me think of homer simpson almost dying of a heart attack. they asked him, "what's your blood type?"... "gravy". mmmmmmm, gravy.
Posted by: unbelievaboh | December 7, 2009 10:25 AM
Nutella. The cardboard could be moldy, and Nutella would still make it taste good.
Posted by: Nichole | December 7, 2009 10:41 AM
Smucker's Strawberry Preserves.
Posted by: Eve | December 7, 2009 10:42 AM
Sesame Oil
Posted by: Kitkat | December 7, 2009 10:57 AM
peanut butter
Posted by: NotableM | December 7, 2009 11:05 AM
Skippy Extra Chunky. Also the Whole Foods fire roasted tomato salsa, which of course they have discontinued.
But not together.
Posted by: brooksiefan | December 7, 2009 11:42 AM
I don't know what its name really is (when I asked, I was always told, "just garlic"), but the Lebanese restaurants have this stuff made from olive oil and garlic whipped in a blender until it is about the consistency of mayo that is wonderful. Scoop it up with pita, cover a chicken with it before roasting...it may not improve chocolate cake, but it'd kill the mold on that moldy cardboard and then sterilize your throat.
Posted by: Lissa | December 7, 2009 11:44 AM
tahini, miso, almond butter, separate or mixed together!
Posted by: Neighbor | December 7, 2009 11:54 AM
Sriracha sauce (better known as the red chili sauce in the bottle with a rooster on it) Even made the most disgusting protein shake palatable.
captcha :renault some
Posted by: Meekrat | December 7, 2009 12:22 PM
Ketchup.
Posted by: Anonymous | December 7, 2009 12:41 PM
seven pepper jelly....mmm
Posted by: qzans | December 7, 2009 1:33 PM
Sevruga caviar.
Black truffle.
There's a reason they're so expensive.
Posted by: El Generalissimo | December 7, 2009 1:57 PM
lemon curd and/or real whipped cream
Posted by: GrayGirl | December 7, 2009 2:31 PM
lemon curd and/or real whipped cream....oh oh oh and ganache...mmmmmm
Posted by: GrayGirl | December 7, 2009 2:33 PM
and cream cheese frosting.
Posted by: GrayGirl | December 7, 2009 2:34 PM
Olive Tapanade
Posted by: Hon | December 7, 2009 2:49 PM
No Doubts
APPLE BUTTER!!!
Forget cardboard ,it makes cottage cheese edible
Captcha Martyrs damsons
(they sound tasty)
Posted by: Hue | December 7, 2009 3:13 PM
I can't believe no one has mentioned lard and schmalz yet.
Posted by: Lissa | December 7, 2009 3:41 PM
Whisky. Preferably Bourbon, but Irish will do the trick just fine.
Posted by: Odie B | December 7, 2009 3:48 PM
Ah, you beat me to it Lissa.
Posted by: Trixie | December 7, 2009 4:06 PM
really creamy, lemony, garlicky, chilled guacamole
I wish I had some right now.
captcha: spokesman pontiff (the guy who translates the pope's jokes for the tourists)
Posted by: Cleatus | December 7, 2009 5:09 PM
Cleatus, you nailed it. We brought back home-grown organic avocados from California (tip: pack them in your shoes). Sorry--I'm not sharing!
Posted by: Dahlink | December 7, 2009 7:47 PM
Forget wet cardboard -- is there any food you can spread on matzoh to make it taste good?
Butter. EL
Posted by: hmpstd | December 8, 2009 6:22 AM
hmpstd, anything! I love matzoh. unfortunately, it doesn't love me!
Posted by: Joyce W. | December 8, 2009 7:09 AM
I like matzoh, hmpstd. Lots of things go well on top of it, although I'll admit, I wouldn't feel comfortable spreading lard on it.
Posted by: Lissa | December 8, 2009 8:34 AM
I always enjoyed eating matzoh with butter or just plain.
Posted by: NotableM | December 8, 2009 8:42 AM
Matzoh was invented for two purposes. To sustain the Jews on their exodus from Israel. And to make matzoh brie (fried matzohs.) Some people may dismiss it as Jewish French toast. But a heaping platter of matzoh brie, made with chicken schmaltz and sprinkled with granulated sugar, is about as good as breakfast gets.
Posted by: Michael A. Gray | December 8, 2009 9:23 AM
Odie, i agree...
As far as Matzoh goes, marinara sauce and cheese.. matzoh pizza! thinnest crust you'll ever have.
Posted by: Meekrat | December 8, 2009 9:28 AM
"Bread of Addiction" Matzoh - pour on the boiling mixture of brown sugar and butter, broil for a minute or two, then sprinkle on the almonds and chopped dark chocolate. Allow to cool and break into pieces. Cardboard would be just as tasty matzoh in this recipe, I believe.
Posted by: Baltofoodie | December 8, 2009 12:36 PM
Wow, "McGovern inquests"
Posted by: Trixie | December 8, 2009 5:36 PM
Good tapenade
Good pesto
Marzipan
Weber's Cider Mill Farms' Triple Crown preserves (cherry/red raspberry/strawberry). This stuff is SO good! I know, I know, I "shill" this place so much you'd think I own stock. I don't, but they have some GREAT stuff!
has sacks ...who, and of what?
Posted by: Dottie | December 8, 2009 11:04 PM