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November 6, 2009

Sam discovers Five Guys is closed

FiveGuysHarbor.jpgI feel I'm being unfairly blamed in Midnight Sun Sam's lament here. Everybody knew the Park Avenue Five Guys has been closed for ages. EL

In a vain effort to dodge the terrible city traffic last night, I took Park Avenue, which took me past one of my fallback burger joints – Five Guys.

Just then, my heart stopped. I wasn't dead, though -- I was just in shock.

The Five Guys at the corner of Centre Street and Park Avenue was gone. ...

Gone!

The sign had been taken down, the number was disconnected, and the Brown Paper of Death was taped up in the windows.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I wanted to jump out of the car, run over to the building and claw at the door until my fingers were sore. But I knew it would do no good. There was nothing I could do to bring Five Guys back.

Come to find out, Five Guys has been closed for some time. I didn't know this, even though I sit next to the Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic. Thanks for telling me, Elizabeth. Geez!

For the next few days, I'll be in mourning. I don't know what I'll do after that. There's another Five Guys in the Pratt Street pavilion in the Inner Harbor, but that's just so impractical. You can't park outside, and there are these tourist types everywhere. Yuck.

There's also a Five Guys all the way out on Boston Street, past Canton and past Brewer's Hill. It's nice, but it's just so far removed.

In all honesty, I'm not that hardcore about Five Guys. But I feel betrayed, and I want to take my revenge.

What if I open up another burger joint in the exact same location? I could name it Six Guys. It would be slightly better than Five Guys (because there's one more guy).

Who's with me?

(Photo of Harborplace Five Guys by Andre F. Chung/Sun photographer)

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 10:28 AM | | Comments (33)
        

Comments

There is a 5 Guys on York Road in Towson. Just opened. Crazy busy.

@Kitkat: I live right by that one, and having a Five Guys so close now is both a blessing and a curse, for equally obvious reasons.

Well Sam has been one upped (six upped) by this blog http://massburger.blogspot.com/

or we'll have to report to this Five Guy fansite that one has been removed from his quest to eat at all of the Fuve Guy locations (hopefully he made this location before it closed)
http://sixthguy.blogspot.com/

sam,

why would you want to eat at five guys when you have abbey burger in your hood?

When I used to be a bike messenger (as opposed to now telling them where to go) I saw that location being renovated and built to what it was.

My question then, as is my question now, what possessed them into thinking that was a good location?

It was always busy in there (I used to work around the corner, and it was my usual place to have lunch before the BSO's Sunday matinees). There is a bit of a void around that area.

I was just there in mid-October...?

Maybe my definition of "closed for ages" is different? Maybe "ages" = "days" in the restaurant world? Maybe it was all a dream?

Funny, you sound a lot like Sam Sessa. EL

bill, because it's cheaper. i'm usually too broke to eat at abbey.

Skip the greasy 5 Guys, and go to Burger Bros. in Towson on Alleghany Ave. Makes 5 Guys look like McDonald's.

Funny, you sound a lot like Sam Sessa. EL

Well, I've never...!

Mountchuck - I work near Burger Bros. and ordered lunch there once. Ordered a bacon burger to go. When I got back to my office the bacon was so burned that it ruined the rest of my sandwich. It dawned on me then that while I was waiting for my order the cook and the owner were looking over the grill and laughing (while I was smelling burning food - of course not thinking it was my lunch). The owner said "just give it to her anyway, she'll not bother to bring it back). No, I didn't take it back but I won't go there again. P.S. I was the only person in the joint at that hour of the afternoon.

Sam -- So it is the restaurant critic's job to tell you every time a fast food joins shuts down?

mw, no, but it's my job to tease the restaurant critic for not telling me when a fast food joint shuts down.

No lose from my perspective. Ate there once (Westminster) - Once too many.

I was at Cosmopolitan in Federal Hill today when the bartendress reported that Sam called to ask if she made Spanish coffee (what's next: is your refrigerator running or do you have Prince Albert in a can). She doesn't, in fact she didn't even know what is in a Spanish coffee. Sam was kind enough to tell her.

Why? The top ten Spanish Coffee in Baltimore?

Sorry.. Metropolitan (Freudian Slip)

Trip, I was going to wait until later this morning to post about Spanish coffee, but you forced my hand. Witness: http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/midnight_sun/blog/2009/11/where_to_find_spanish_coffee.html

What, there was a five guys at Park and Centre? I thought there were only parking lots at that intersection.

RoCK, there aren't any parking lots at Park and Centre.

No, but there is a lot at Centre and Howard. Perhaps that is what RoCK was thinking of.

Go to Howards Deli on Cathedral street. You can always get good food and a good juicy burger there.

Somebody invoked Burger Bros. Protip: They just started a student special. For college students with student ID, burgers are half off Tuesdays 3-close. They know their audience.

Sam, is the Five Guys in North Plaza convenient? It's next to Gold's Gym, and as if that weren't enough, there's a Wockenfuss store next FG. This is win-win, ya know? Have your workout at Gold's, get your burger fix at Five Guys, then trot next door to Wockenfuss for a Caramellow. Mmmmm-BOY!

Dottie -- I think you mean to refer to the Wockenfuss Carmallow, a marshmallow dipped in caramel. ("Caramellow" is too close in spelling to the Cadbury Caramello bar to be a name that anybody would want to use without fear of being sued.)

Dottie, there is a Five Guys there? All this time and I had no idea! I must now declare myself 2 sizes larger...

Don't worry, Trixie, you can have the clothes I've already grown out of.

Any of you folks know where I can get a few pounds of local honey by Sat. am? I forgot to get some at the JFX market, and next Sat. is mead making day.

Yup, Trixie, it's pretty much in the middle of the shopping center, between Safeway and Big K. If you go in the Waltham Woods entrance next to El Salto, it's pretty much right in front of you, very near Gold's Gym. I've been avoiding it lately because I hit it pretty hard when I first discovered it.

Oh, and Lissa, you can find several varieties of honey at Weber's Cider Mill Farm in Parkville.

You should have gone to Elevation Burger in Harboreast

Dottie, thank you. I might get out there.

I went to Elevation Burger last Sunday. The beef was over-cooked and tasted mainly of salt. The bun was way too big for the amount of meat. The fries were limp, but fairly tasty.

Nice try, but the execution isn't there. Pity, because I will pay more for grass fed, organic meat.

I agree with Lissa, I've been to Elevation Burger twice, and each time the meat was over-cooked and dry! I wasn't a big fan of their fries either...just weren't crispy enough for me.

Elevation Burger fries their fries in olive oil, and I don't think olive oil has a high enough smoke point for crispy fries.

I am also heart-broken about the 5 Guys closing at Park and Centre. I drove there Saturday evening, parked the car, saw the brown paper on the windows and a hand-written sign that said "Five Guys is Closed". I got back in my car and drove home. Suddenly I didn't want to eat out anymore.

I'm sure that the new location in Towson is doing plenty of business with all the students up there, but the one on Centre St was never empty. I feel for the workers at that location who must have lost their jobs and sorry for those who, like me, had a place to go whenever we needed that certain fix only Five Guys could fill. Corporations . . .

Six Guys? Go for it.

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.
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