Dinner parties are too much of a headache for me. I meet you at a restaurant.

I noticed this morning that they were painting the outside of the former Ray Lewi's Full Moon BBQ...anyone know anything about what might be going in there?

Fun topic for me.
I have an elderly gentleman friend of Italian desent who claims to be allergic to both onions and garlic, but LOVES Italian food.
Now I make a mean lasagna, eggplant parmesean, homemade spaghetti sauce etc., but I would NEVER make any of those without some onion and/or garlic. So, the answer is "yes" jl to your question... I would never invite him to a dinner party because most dishes I make contain some form of those ingredients.

My father is allergic to eggs, so growing up I always remember my mother finding alternatives to cooking/baking with eggs. Because of that, I am accustomed to asking guests about food allergies or dietary restrictions before preparing a menu. Allergies and dietary restrictions are one thing, picky eaters...totally different!

Maybe I'm just not a very good host. I consider it my guests' job to tell me when they receive an invitation if they have any dietary restrictions. Otherwise, it's up to them to push around the food on the plate and pretend everything is delicious and exactly they way they like it.

I've been thinking about this too. I have friends that keep kosher, friends who are vegans, friends who don't eat vegetables, friends who don't like anything "weird"... I say have a potluck and let them figure it out.

I just ask everybody to bring their own bag lunch. Then all I have to do is provide a variety of waters: still, sparkling, tap, branch, deep, and shallow.

I think the allergy/food preference issue is a two-way street, and I do my part. When inviting guests to a dinner party, I always ask whether there are any food issues I should be aware of, and then I give some examples, usually in a fun way, eg, "Delilah abhors beets? Hugo is terrified of mushrooms? Chastity is deathly allergic to peas?" and let the guest take the lead from there. I think it's also incumbent on the guests themselves, out of self-preservation, to bring it up: for example, asking the hostess quietly (say, in the kitchen before dinner), "Are there walnuts in the pear salad? I'm highly allergic to nuts." (My own mother was, literally, deathly allergic to crabmeat and always asked, at parties or restaurants, about crab.)
As for the morality issue, however, I think the onus is definitely on the guest to mention any specific convictions they hold before accepting an invitation. ("You know Gregor and I don't eat swordfish anymore, right?") We try to serve foods that pretty much anyone over 18 would eat, but it's not my intent when hosting a party to cater to the idiosyncractic whims of every single guest.

I'm with Richard that guests should tell the host about any food or drink issues before accepting the invitation and with BaltBabs that picky eaters are more annoying than folks with religious or health stuff.

Cooking for folks with dietary issues is a challenge. Yes, I can (and have) accommodated people who keep kosher at dinner parties. I've cooked for vegans and meat and potatoes people for the same dinner. It is fun.

And, Laura Lee, I'll bring my own ocean water. Wouldn't want to put you out. I have a very good Atlantic '92.

Thanks all. i have a great idea for a murder mystery.

Laura Lee - What about muddy?

Have to agree with Lissa and BaltBabs that picky eaters are a PITA! I have one friend who doesn't even like ICCs. (throwing up my hands) what can be done for such a person?

Oh yeah. When we invite students I just automatically assume that there will be some vegetarians, and try to provide enough offerings that don't involve any meat. One of my proudest moments as host came when one student announced in advance that she would come, but she wouldn't eat anything--yet she ended up eating almost everything we provided. Yes!

I am with Richard. When I invite people I tell them what's for dinner. "Would you like to join us?" I have enough variety that most people will be okay. If not, let me know what restaurant we can meet up at another time.

No, it is not always that easy......but these are the only kind of people I want for friends or as dinner guests!

I think you're approaching this entirely the wrong way. Dinner parties are a blast and there is no need to reform the food itself or the preparation process.

Instead ask yourself the question, why am I friends with/why would I want to eat with anyone who is vegetarian/pescatarian/vegan?

Don't change your dinner parties, change your acquaintances. There are still plenty of smart people out there who don't let morality get in the way of gastronomic pleasure.

Corey, you are missing out on half the fun. Watching a carnivore stomp on a vegan at the dinner table is great fun.

I was once invited to a baby shower where half the guests were militant lesbians and the other half were granola earth mothers. I had a blast. War didn't *quite* break out, mainly because the earth mothers were trying to be pacifists.

Fortunately, I only have family and close friends to dinner, and I know their preferences. When we plan a meal at church, we know that some of our members can't eat nuts or fish and avoid them ... wouldn't do to poison the guests, right?

This is my only horror story about family food preferences. A few months before my husband and I were married, I hosted a cook-out for his daughter, grand-daughter, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and close family friend. I killed myself to lay a good table: bought 2" thick sirloin steaks and made four salads from scratch: pasta, potato, cucumber, and slaw. BTW, I'm a very good cook, and almost everyone loved it. The daughter, however, didn't taste a single thing and ate only bread and, of course, her very young daughter followed her lead. Since then, I haven't given a hoot in hell what the daughter does or doesn't like; I cook what I want and she can eat it or not--I don't care.