There is something I could say about the $12.00 touching tip...but I don't really wanna go there! But I could

There is something I could say about the $12.00 touching tip...but I don't really wanna go there! But I could

that reminds me of a scene in a movie (can't remember the name) where a guy sits at a bar and puts a stack of 50 $1 bills and tells the bartener "ok, right now this is your tip...for everything you do unsatisfactory, i take a dollar away"

pretty cruel, but funny non-the-less

Great post jl!
Sell this idea to Apple and make fortune!

Kinda reminds me of Donny B's system of tip calculation. But I think his are all deductions of the standard tip.

Imagine the reverse. In the kitchen is The Servers Rules for Retribution
Brings tots after 5 PM - bring scalding food.
Rewrite the menu with substitutions - spit on the food.
Touch the wait staff - worse than spit.
I try to be nice to avoid food poisoning.

"that reminds me of a scene in a movie (can't remember the name) where a guy sits at a bar and puts a stack of 50 $1 bills and tells the bartener "ok, right now this is your tip...for everything you do unsatisfactory, i take a dollar away"

pretty cruel, but funny non-the-less"

That was from '3rd Rock from The Sun.' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1ZZWhSvOMI

jl, I would ordinarily take your suggestions a bit seriously, but, then, I realized that Donny B's tipping system comes uncomfortably close to your ideal.

And a tip of the hat to PCB Rob for coming up first with the Donny B connection. Unfortunately, I don't recall Donny B being willing to go beyond a 20% tip if he ever got better than "half-way decent service", whereas jl (like MrBilly2U) is willing to tip higher.

why, thank you hmpstd!

Yes, at least jl's method would reward a server if all went well.

RubyLynda's post had me laughing though. Quite true, it could work on both ends.

BTW, this delay between me typing a key and when it appears on screen is pretty bad right now.

wait a minute, exactly how is the server responsible if the kitchen does not cook your steak right? would you like me to give it the finger test or cut right into it to check? and seriously, do you see your plan up there?, remind you of something does it? like when the british wanted us to go metric? member that? this would work just as well. something to think about ladies and gents, if the tips get any worse than they have been this year, you will see alot of us professional, dedicated experienced personnel, leaving to do something else, which leaves you with rookies.

george - thanks for the video link. hysterical. that ended up being a bit closer to this than i even remember.

baltimoron, like it or not the entire dining experience influences the tip from the hostess to the bartender to the kitchen. Just like my salary is tied to how well the laborers and operators, who I have no control over, perform in the field so is the tip tied to everyone in the restaurant. How the server handles a foul up by one of the other positions can minimize the damage.

Firstly, I try to keep in mind that my weekly offerings are plainly marked shallow thought.
Second, I feel ya, Baltimoron. Separate the tips into service, kitchen, management, etc. and you won't get dunned for a cook's screw up. But you won't get tipped for her good deeds either. I'm pretty sure there are some bartenders out there who'd love to get 20%+ for all the bar orders they get right.
One of the tougher aspects of the server role, whether at a table, behind a parts counter, or in an enclosed fuselage 35,000 feet above terra firma, is that the server is the face of the entire company. Your customers are frequently not given the opportunity to face the person or persons responsible for all the screw-ups the server had no hand in. But if the customer complains to the server that the order is not as ordered, and lowers the tip accordingly, then the wise server will relay his distress to whomever is most likely to be able to rectify the situation and thereby return the entire dining experience to the level his customers can appreciate in full.
If it was an easy job, Baltimoron, we wouldn't need you.

sounds like the cheap way out, if the service is good or great tip 20 to 25%, if it sucks tip 10 to 15%....it's that easy. Come on we are adults here, it isn't our first time
dinning out! Do what's right! Most servers don"t receive a paycheck and owe the tax man at the end of the year.

This is funny, but there's always the chance that someone's going to take you seriously when you print things like this. Oh, too late.

Satire is what closes at New Haven.

I've never understood why we don't use a system more like this than the percentage tipping arrangement we use now. Is there really that much difference in the time it takes to serve a $3 grilled cheese at Friendlys verses a $100 steak at some high end place? Or if you only drink water they should get nothing? Certainly you expect and get better service at the steak joint but 30 times better service?

i'm not cheap when it comes to tipping but i do have apprehensions about tipping X% when i've ordered an expensive bottle of vino or two. to illustrate Bob's point even further, should we be expected to tip a full 20% or so on a $100 bottle of wine when it took just as much effort as a $20 bottle? i cut the tip back once at casa di mimo after having 2 $100 bottles and i caught the stink eye from the waiter. sheesh! the guy made out! i think i only took one bottle off the tip calcuation. they can suck it up and deal with it.

Thanks you jl, I agree, it is my job to make sure everything is as expected or better. and I agree that how a server handles the situation should reflect on the tip, but it doesn't, at least not in my experience. I go out of my way, mainly because I love my job and have an obsession to please all my guests, but on the rare occasion that something is cooked wrong, and I fix it to the guests liking, or a food runner delivers the wrong food to the wrong table the tip always suffers, and always has. I don't let 1 bad tip bother me so it's not that big of a deal, I average the whole nights tips against my sales and go home happy. at any rate, it's amazing to see how many seem to think we do not earn our tips "why should I tip on 2 $100 bottles of wine" because you ordered them and drank them. suck it up and deal with it? when you are a repeat customer unbelievaboh and the servers know you are cheap on the tip, and you receive bad service because of it, suck it up and deal with it.

Everybody stand back--looks like a smackdown between unbelievaboh and the baltimoron!

@Unbelieveaboh

Classic "probably never been a server" response. Why should you tip 20% for a $50 dollar steak when you can get a $15 dollar one? If your somewhere that carries $100 bottles of wine chances are your somewhere nice. Along with that bottle of wine - and its tip - should also come things like impeccable wine service, proper wine handling (temp etc) and knowledge on the servers part (for pairing etc). In fact you should probably demand these things since you are getting a high quality product (wine + service) and paying for it.

Just like a doctor you do not always pay for what a server does but also for what they know.

Along with that, I also think that yes you should tip as a %. Generally the server giving you the $50 steak is more attentive to you AND your food then the person with the $3 grilled cheese. When I serve I do make sure things are as they should be - Make sure you call out the chef if you don't think something is MR or whatever else.

Long story short - Just like being in the military everyone should also be forced to be in food service - if only for a few months. The world would be a better place.