The mysterious e-mails
Mondays are so exciting. While I try to keep up with my work e-mail on the weekends, I invariably lag behind. So I have communications like this waiting for me when I come in. Of course, it could always be Owl Meat pulling my leg. EL
Subject: Ignorant and boorish restaurant review
What a stupid review of a very good and popular restaurant.
Shake hands with Jean Marbella; she creates her own reality too.
We certainly wouldn't want to eat with you at the table!!!
Shame on you;grow up a little bit, if you can.
Get control of yourself.
Try being courteous to telemarketers; that's good practice.
People at Paner'as in Towson are canceling their subscription to your rag
because of such a stupid review; maybe it's just as well. ...
Huh?
I immediately wrote back asking about the telemarketers and also what she meant by Paner'as. I assumed she was talking about my Pappas review, but I wanted to make sure. I got the following reply. EL
Quick, a positive characteristic, good
it's Panera's, as if you didn't know
you sneaky cutthroat you.
That's when I began to think it might be Owl Meat. However, I have offended a lot of telemarketers in my time, and he wouldn't know that.
By the way, all you other telemarketers. Don't bother calling; I will never, never be courteous to you until you start paying my phone bill. EL
Comments
I love when I get email responses in Haiku. Confused haiku. (Which is an excellent band name, by the way.)
Posted by: Dawn | July 13, 2009 1:04 PM
Oh cruel blog-mistress, what have I done to deserve such abuse?
I do enjoy the complex incoherence of the exchange. Panera's? You have never mentioned them nor telemarketers and what does one have to do with the other?
You can also back-track an email via it's IP address and/or compare to comments' IP's.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 1:05 PM
I suspect this e-mail was written from Panera's. I doubt if anyone is canceling the Sun because of a restaurant review.
You'll score no points with me being nice to telemarketers.
Posted by: Lissa | July 13, 2009 1:08 PM
Wow, definitely the downside of your profession. For complete strangers to pass judgement on you as a person based on, what, a 3-4 paragraph review...
If someone does not agree with you, fine. They obviously like the restaurant, and will continue to go there regardless of what anyone says. But to attack you? I wonder, if they were at the same restaurant, and they heard the people at the next table discussing various reasons why they don't approve of the meal/service/restaurant, would they go off on them also? I seriously doubt it! You are a strong woman EL.
Posted by: Trixie | July 13, 2009 1:11 PM
I'm going to have break out my Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring to figure out this cryptic message.
Wait, I have it....Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | July 13, 2009 1:28 PM
But what were they talking about?
I do like the ignorant use of the word "ignorant" (Baltimore translation: ignorant = rude).
Some telemarketer called me this morning on my cell phone regarding my "Visa or Mastercard" for the tenth time and offering a free something. The frothy flow of swearing that followed should get me on the Crazy Don't Call List.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 1:39 PM
Writing a blog is bound to attract the occasional wacko. It's an occupational hazard like silicosis to glassblowers. Only thing you can do is laugh it off -- and try to puzzle out what reviewing Pappas has to do with upsetting people at Panera's. P.S. Like most of the D@L gang, I'd like nothing better than to eat with you at the table.
Posted by: Michael A. Gray | July 13, 2009 1:49 PM
No, MAG, public shaming is good, too. Makes Elizabeth look classy and secure that she publishes this stuff.
Posted by: Lissa | July 13, 2009 1:54 PM
The Magic Eightball says "image blurry try again another time".
Posted by: Joyce W. | July 13, 2009 2:01 PM
Why send an email privately? Wouldn't it be more effective to expose her sneaky cutthroat ways online? I for one hope EL never grows up. That would be so dull.
BTW I've been watching Top Chef Masters and Gael Greene is one scary woman. And her wardrobe is some kind of amazing old lady gothic.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 2:08 PM
Maybe we could get Jean Marbella to join the sandbox. I like people who create their own reality!
Posted by: Trixie | July 13, 2009 2:34 PM
Sneaky cutthroat, you
Imaginary review
Was not well-received
Posted by: sean | July 13, 2009 2:38 PM
Is "never, never be courteous" like "is it not false"? When grammar and math fornicate they create one ugly b*stard.
Posted by: Bob UU | July 13, 2009 2:48 PM
Four word review: Panera telemarketer needs hug
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 2:55 PM
I disagree.
"I will never, never be courteous" is different than "I will never never be courteous." I believe the comma makes a difference.
Posted by: sean | July 13, 2009 2:57 PM
Someone put out an APB for John McIntyre...
Posted by: Anonymous | July 13, 2009 3:03 PM
"I do like the ignorant use of the word "ignorant" (Baltimore translation: ignorant = rude)."
"Someone put out an APB for John McIntyre..."
Hey, look at this:
http://tinyurl.com/ql6tmm
John McIntyre on the ignorant use of ignorant!
Posted by: sean | July 13, 2009 3:09 PM
I suggested that topic to JM. It's a pet peeve of mine. I'm intrigued by the irony of it. In Baltimore "ignorant" seems to be actually worse than rude, closer to heinous, but not in the Valley Girl way.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 3:17 PM
N.B. To point out to someone that they are misusing the word ignorant would, of course, be real igonorant.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 3:20 PM
There are some words that have had their meaning so corrupted by misuse that we would be well served to just abolish those words from our language.
I'm sure there are many of these misused words, but at the top of the list should be "ironic" followed by "literally". I'm not sure where I would place "ignorant".
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | July 13, 2009 3:32 PM
ROCK, that comment was so ignorant, it was literally ironic.
Posted by: sean | July 13, 2009 3:41 PM
owlmeat...you so crazeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Posted by: someone who luvsowlmeat | July 13, 2009 3:45 PM
Yup, Alanis Morrisette is the all time worst violator for "ironic". No, rian on your wedding day is not ironic.
Literally pretty much means figuratively now.
You forgot "awesome".
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 13, 2009 3:48 PM
I always thought they were just implying "ignorant about good manners".
Posted by: Laura Lee | July 13, 2009 4:05 PM
"Unbelievable" has to be in the discussion as well. It bugs me to no end, when watching any sporting event, the announcer declares the just performed act as "unbelievable". Unlikely at best, but not unbelievable.
Posted by: NEPA | July 13, 2009 4:29 PM
Having Rian on your wedding day is only ironic if she isn't the one you are marrying.
Actually, that isn't ironic, either. Ignorant, though.
Posted by: Lissa | July 13, 2009 4:36 PM
Forgive me Martha for what I am about to say......
I am a "closet fan" of Martha Stewart. Watch her show every day @ 2 p.m.
However, she completely overuses the word "beautiful" on every show. Whether she is talking about dogs, fashions, tools, gardening, food, etc.
I mean come on Martha, there are synonyms that could be used instead of 76 (yes, I counted them) "beautiful" remarks in a one hour show!
Posted by: Lone Lady | July 15, 2009 7:43 PM