I would think it rude for someone to text while at my table. However, it really unnerves me when people talk on cell phones in a stall in a public bathroom.

maybe they were restaurant reviewers discussing what they should order and what they thought of the food...

It would be a great way to take notes. EL

In some restaurants where the noise level is very high, it might be the only way for two people on opposite sides of the table to have a conversation.

Anon, it's far worse when someone's phone rings when they're at a urinal and they answer it. Ugh. I wish I could say I'd never seen that happen, but I have repeatedly.

I was at Helmand a couple of weeks ago and a whole table full of what looked to be college students were sitting at a big round table, each with his or her own Blackberry, texting away and ignoring everyone else.

Bleh.

This is how I know I'm getting old. I don't understand the whole texting thing, especially when in the company of others. I can't tell you how many times I've had guests over for dinner, drinks, lunch, or whatever only to have them check their phone for new messages the entire time and stopping in the middle of a conversation to respond to a Facebook comment. It drives me crazy and I find it to be incredibly rude. When I'm with others, my Blackberry goes in my handbag until the meal or event is over.

This is a serious pet peeve of mine. I don't understand how some don't find anything wrong with it. I read somewhere a while ago that as a litmus test for texting or talking on a cell ask yourself, is this an appropriate place to do a crossword puzzle?

I think it depends. If you're sitting alone, sure. If you are with friends and/or family then no.

By the same token, people shouldn't be texting while at the movies either.

I take public transportation. Texting in restaurants and cinemas seems like the height of civilization compared to what I've experienced on the Metro subway.
Full disclosure: I'm a texting transgressor. I've horrified myself a couple times by checking out in the midst of a social engagement to text.

Texting etiquette is situational and requires nothing more than a little common sense. If you're texting away back and forth with great fervor and ignoring the people around you, then yes, it's rude. It's always rude to ignore those in your direct company whether you are chatting on the phone, texting, or turning around to talk to Joe Schmo behind you leaving your company high and dry to twiddle their thumbs in awkward silence. If happen you receive a message and it's important you should excuse yourself or apologize before responding. It might even be a good idea to apologize before checking the message at all. After all, if it was really important wouldn't the sender have called? If the message is something that will require several texts back and forth you should excuse yourself from the table entirely, just as you would a phone call. If you want to send a message to the person across from you to ‘let them know that their bra is showing' and you are attempting to keep it on the "down low" to evade embarrassment then by all means text away! Texting every person in your phone with random drivel is completely unacceptable (unless of course you're alone). The easiest way to avoid being rude is to remember you aren’t the only person there and you should considerate of those around you. On another note, if you’re alone and texting everyone in your phone for whatever reason, please put the gosh-darned thing on silent/vibrate. You’ve done nothing but stare at it, so you know when a message is coming thru, and everyone around you doesn’t want to hear the endless symphony of whatever random sound you’ve selected eight gazillion times in a row. My few cents.

There is nothing so uncommon as common sense.

I'm in definite agreement that textiquette is situational.

I have certain friends who are serious textaholics -- like, it's time for an intervention serious. I've recently bought an iPhone just to give them a taste of their own medicine, right down to the private laughter to put them on edge.

It's the most rewarding revenge.

In other company, I'll definitely try and keep my toy put away.

textiquette? Situational ettiquette? Since when does common courtesy depend on where you are and whom you are with? If Donne were alive today he would not have written "No Man Is An Island." He would need only to look around and see a veritable archipelago of people, each on her or his own little island.

I can understand getting phone calls or text messages if you are waiting to hear about a loved one's condition after major surgery, or to find out if a kidney donor has been found, but in those cases the people around you should already know the situation. Just ignoring your friends or family for a random stranger posting to your Facebook account or the latest Tweet speaks more loudly about you than any cellphone ringtone.

Please excuse me while I step into this flameproof suit.

the obvious and rapid decline of common courtesy bears far more grave consequence than climate change. i wonder which is easier to deal with.

Kat's comment hits the nail on the head.

If you're with people, treat texting as you would any other situation where you're choosing to ignore those around you. Personally, if I'm dining with company, I usually leave my phone alone and ignore messages unless I find a moment alone at the table (or possibly while I've already left the table for a visit to the restroom).

Why is there such obsession with texting in general? I do text, but I don't feel a constant need to watch the phone to see if someone is sending me a forward (even more annoying via text than email)?? Or letting me know some other piece of randomness that isn't relevant to my current conversation.

Good grief, talk to people in person. Man, I sound much older than my mid-30s...when did I get so old???

Hmmmm....I'm getting old and cranky and so far I refuse to learn how to text. Occasionally I use the apps on my phone at the restaurant table to check out politically incorrect fish dishes or to send myself quick notes by email as I'm getting forgetful. But then, it goes right back in the purse for the rest of the evening.

Recently, friends were at our house on Father's Day for a day of board games. One had his phone alarm set to go off every half hour to remind him to call his father. This went on from 3 p.m. until after 10 p.m. Would it have been a breach of etiquette for me if I leapt over the table and throttled him?

Back to lurking,

As a texter of just-out-of-college age, I have found my texting etiquette does vary by situation. When I am out with people my age, I am much more likely to check my phone and respond to texts, but rarely initiate the texting. As well, I do not mind as much if my dining partner chooses to text, as long as they maintain a conversation with me as well. If I am with people older than myself, or at a nicer establishment, the phone goes into the pocket or the purse, only to come out at the end of the meal or in the bathroom. I will say, that I am technologically lagging behind others-I cannot receive emails on my phone, or use the internet or any applications. I can barely take pictures. Maybe it is my age, or the places I go and the people I go with, but often I think nothing of sliding my phone under the table to respond to a text.

I still do my texting on a 10 digit number pad instead of on a full keyboard, so my texting is limited by the constraints of a three year old cell phone.

me too, RoCK.

And can we just talk about twitter? I have a friend who blogs and he's having a luncheon and is tweeting it! I simply just don't understand that, or tweeting in general, unless it's breaking news. I really don't care that you're leaving work or having froot loops for lunch. TMI, people!

I'm old, and have had no landline for the past 12 or so years. The most useful analogy for cells for me is Judith Martin's. She called the cell phone with caller ID a modern butler. Just because someone is calling (or texting), that doesn't mean you must answer.

If I'm expecting something important or get repeated texts, I'll excuse myself and check. I won't answer when with other folks unless it is really an emergency or I really want to get away.

Having said that, I did thoroughly enjoy my friend's 13 year old daughter texting to her friend at missionary camp in Texas from Baltimore Gay Pride.

I have a rotary phone. It takes forever to text.

Texting with a rotary phone would require very strong fingers.

RiE: In my defense, I'm largely agreeing with you, if you read a little closer.

My close friends and loved ones, I like to provide demonstration of my affection for minimizing distractions during the time we spend together. Unless they're doing it to me (it seems a generational thing, natch), in which case, it's game on.

I even like to do the look-at-you-look-at-my-iPhone-and-laugh thing to these particularly naughty individuals, for no other reason than to inspire mild paranoia and suspicion. It's fun; you should try it.

There are plenty of people that I can barely abide, who I have no compunction about putting on text-hold. Good times.

With the above exceptions, my general rule of textiquette goes something like -- I'll check a text, and put it away to respond when I have a free moment later unless it seems reasonably urgent. Not an unreasonable policy, yes?

Nicole, unless you tell the person how rude the behavior is, he/he will never know. Sorry for the generalization, but most people I observe are oblivious to their rudeness unless TOLD they're being rude. Even then they often don't give a hoot! I have only one friend who answers her cell phone when we're out, but her husband is aged and not in great health, and that's how they keep tabs on each other. I don't like it, but I understand the reasoning.

Dottie, we installed "call waiting" on our landline when we had teenagers at home (back before everyone had their own cell phone and the one phone could get tied up for hours). My reasoning was that our elderly parents could have a crisis and we needed to be able to respond immediately.

Texting/excessive phone calls while I'm out with a friend(s) DRIVE ME CRAZY! I think it is extremely rude and uncalled for. If it is that important, excuse yourself from the table and address it. I'd rather sit at the table/bar alone and entertain myself rather than have my conversation completely interrupted by constant text conversations. If I'm expecting an important call/text, I let people know ahead of time. If not, my blackberry stays in my pocketbook with the ring volume on LOW! If I happen to hear it, I'll look to see who it is and then hit quiet and take the call later. I've declined many subsequent offers to dine with friends because of their behavior. I might as well dine by myself!

Nay, you had me until the ring volume. Vibrate is one of the great inventions of the late 20th century.

isn't it funny now how EVERYBODY is ALWAYS on the phone? What in the world do all those people have to say to each other???

"Vibrate is one of the great inventions of the late 20th century"

Must...Censor...Reply...

Trixie, I saw the history of the vibrator during my free 2 month sample of HBO. If you haven't seen that yet, you must! Then you'll really know more than you wanted to know!

Trixie, that particular medical device (and, yes, that is what it was, for treating hysteria) dates back to the 1890's, IIRC.

There is a show? I must check the torrent sites! What was it called?

I saw the history of the vibrator during my free 2 month sample of HBO

Back when Major League Baseball was arguing expansion, the "anti" argument was that the quality of play would be diluted by the need to bring in "lesser" players to fill the positions.

I think television has passed that point.

Excuse me, I am feeling a bit hysterical...

That's right, Eve. We just don't get serious, quality TV like "Mod Squad" and "Captain Kangaroo" anymore, do we.

Trixie, I so know that feeling. You take care of yourself now, girlfriend, you hear?

Sorry, I was smoking a cigarette. Did I miss anything??

Trixie, it's going to take me awhile to come up with an appropriate haiku.

"Nobody can tell me to stop grunting. I would rather get fined than lose a match because I had to stop." -- Tennis player Michelle Larcher de Brito, whose grunts have been measured at 109 decibels.

Feel hysteria
Vibrators are wonderful
Then a cigarette

Spent some time feelin' inferior
standing in front of my mirror
Combed my hair in a thousand ways
but I came out looking just the same
Daddy said, Son, you better see the world
I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave
But remember one thing don't lose your head
to a woman that'll spend your bread
So I got out
Paris was a place you could hide away
if you felt you didn't fit in
French police wouldn't give me no peace
They claimed I was a nasty person
Down along the Left Bank minding my own
Was knocked down by a human stampede
Got arrested for inciting a peacful riot
when all I wanted was a cup of tea
I was accused
I moved on

My, that was a long cigarette.

Backstroke lover always hidin' ' neath the covers
Till I talked to your daddy, he say,
He said you aint seen nothin'
till you're down on a muffin
Then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways

Laura Lee - If anyone can come up with an appropriate haiku with this subject, it would be you. Sean also, but I think a female perspective is a tad different!

Healing vibrations
emancipate. No need to
kick against the pricks.

Your turn, sean.

As usual, brilliant!

You and Sean could turn this into a Haiku "Point-Counterpoint", like the old sketch on SNL, with Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain. Coining the term "Jane, you ignorant s**t

Tick tick tick ... KABOOOOM. EL's head just exploded.

Next up, "The Spin Cycle and Auto-alleviation of Soft Tissue Tension"

Game, set and match to Laura Lee.

My eyes are watering from laughing so hard...Sorry EL for this topic swerve!