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July 2, 2009

Four-word restaurant reviews


Have you seen the site Four Word Film Review? Some of them are very clever. I picked out a  food-oriented movie we've discussed here and looked up the reviews to give you some examples.

For instance, for Waitress: "Keri Russells up pies." Although that's not really a review. If you've seen the film, you'll understand why this is both more clever and a review: "Quirky Romantic Comedy Pie."

It's harder than it looks, especially when you apply it to a restaurant review. ...

Of course, I could always say, "Three stars for food," but the idea is to be more imaginative.

For instance, for the Prime Rib: "Pearls, great beef slabs."

Or RA Sushi: "NOISE, good wacky sushi."

Now you try some.

(Photo credit: Alan Markfield ORG XMIT: BW14)

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 7:05 AM | | Comments (40)


I think I'd rather do haiku restaurant reviews, never the less, I'll try.

Chicken Rico: "Bird flies through smoke."

golden west:
greaseball hipsters ruin meal

I've been to some restaurants that deserved a four letter review.

this reminds me of the 2 word review of the spinal tap album 'shark sandwich':
s**t sandwich


Yummy Drunk, Yuck Sober

Fogo de Chao:
devour every farm animal

tourist trap feeding trough

rusty scupper:
nasty supper crusty rubber

Parkside, Hamilton.

Good beer, needs shave.

Brass Elephant:

beef slab salt lick


Constantly craving kaddo borawni


Tries hard, rarely succeeds

(I'll stop now)

Bo Brooks:

Great view, much money

unbelievaboh & qzans - very clever!

Franks Pizza, Overlea

Strip Mall?!?!?? Great Italian!!

Rub, Fed. Hill

That was smoked? Okay.....

Michael's Cafe, Timonium.

Lobster crabcake. Peppermill w/booze.

Ale Mary's
Tots, praise the Lord!

Boog's BBQ
Ballpark smoke, O yeah

LOL @ praise the tots.

Ale Mary's

Fine Food, Heavenly Ales

"Want fries with that?"
"Can I supersize you?"

Ixia: Empty your wallet now!

I love these, even though I think Brian cheated a bit.

Capt. James
White gloves, missing teeth

Rocco's Capriccio - Red snapper glee more

Ellicott City Brewery:

Okay food, Great Beer.

Meli - Overwrought. Less honey, please.

Joss Cafe in Mount Vernon:

blah sushi too expensive


Super Senior Specials Served

Four words with the triple bonus for alliteration.

I think you only get double word score for alliteration, RoCK, but I'm willing to give you a triple for the delicious ambiguity.

My Thai
Mai god long wait

Pub Dog, Fed Hill

Overwhelming fruit beers. Pizza.


Bar, Cutty, Buca, Bob

I would say Velleggia's is:

Homeowners hate hip hop.

Alliteration never gets old.

Die zombie die, uh-oh

Excellent, Mr. difranco

Roy's of Baltimore

Ono - mai tai, hon.

The long-since closed Louie's:
Coffee with a snarl

Amicci's "Very" Casual Eatery:
No pants: too casual

Not original but...

Captain Harvey's
"Sighted Sub, Sank Same"

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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