I think the new term is "not cool!".

When my partner and I each thought the other had tipped our favorite waitress in Bill Bateman's, I immediately went to the atm and got out some cash and went about hunting her down with some serious apologizing.

When Back Finz was still around down in Locust Point, I used to go on a regular basis. I got along great with the bartender and tipped her very well because she didn't lose sight of me when the place got busy. One night I was a little too polluted to drive myself home, so I wasn't the person who closed out the tab. When I heard about how much she'd been tipped, giving her something extra was the first thing I did the following week. She protested but the fact is that no server is going to turn you down if you go back and make up for an error.

I thought this was going to be about when the OTHER person tips too low... in which case I think I've determined it's better to just not look and not give yourself the opportunity to judge their generosity and/or math skills.

I think that the best way to handle it is to just return and hand over the extra cash with an apology. There's no need to ask to be seated in her section and order a dinner, etc. After all, she may remember you, and who knows what that could lead to! This happened to me, also, at M&S Grill during some confusion that ensued when we settled the check. After leaving, I realized that we hadn't tipped the waiter enough, so I went back the next day, handed him the extra money, and apologized.

I've heard anecdotally that the IRS assumes servers receive on average 15% of their receipts and includes that amount in their calculations. Any truth to that?

The other night my fiance and I went out to dinner and as we were finishing up, he mentioned that he had cash to leave for the tip. Right as the bill was arriving, he recieved a phone call. Rather than waiting for him to return and provide the cash, I paid the bill, including the tip. On the way home (after making a few stops) all of the sudden he got this look of horror on his face and gasped "do you know what we forgot to do?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but from his tone, I thought it was something catastrophic. Turns out he thought I had forgotten to tip the waitress since he never gave me the cash he had offered. He was ready to turn around and go back when I assured him that I had indeed left a tip when I paid the bill. Had I not, we would have returned with a generous tip and an apology.

Tipping should depend on the service. If you received good service the "standard" is now around 18% to 20% (not the 10% of the 1970's). If it is a 4 or 5 star restaurant, I think the standard is 20% to 25%. However, having worked in a retail job where I had to serve the public, I understand what little money these people make and what they have to go through so I always tip generously. Also, don't forget that sometimes the tip has to be split between the hostess, the waiter/waitress, bus boy and server. There is one easy solultion, though. When dining out, go in a group of 6 or 8 if you can. Most restaurants automatically include a 18% gratuity on large groups. That way, no one feels "short changed" (sorry for the pun).

I cannot stand folks who think they dont need to tip. If you dont want to tip dont eat out. I always tip 20% mainly because its easier to do the math. Move the decimal point one place and x2. Its cus i'm lazy.

http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/industries/article/0,,id=98401,00.html
"I've heard anecdotally that the IRS assumes servers receive on average 15% of their receipts and includes that amount in their calculations. Any truth to that?"
The IRS puts the responsibility on the restaurant to insure tips are reported at at least 8% of total revenue. Servers and Bartenders are required to report ALL tips received. Over the last several months the cash we used to get on a regular basis has dried up like the Sahara. Everyone is using Credit Cards and paychecks are down to nothing. It is understood that a server not earning 8% would get out of the game quickly. There was a system in place for a few years giving Restaurants a break on their owed FICA (social security) tax if they complied and encouraged tipped staff to report 100% of all cash received, which I always do.

My rule of thumb is to go into a restaurant with every intention of tipping 20%. If I get half-way decent service they usually get the 20%.

But when they completely miss the soup, appetizers or salads, or they don't get delivered until not much more than a minute before the main course arrives (after waiting a long time), I start to deduct. That's a 3-to-5 point deduction.

I also deduct when I order a glass of water with my other beverage and it doesn't come. I purposely order water along with my drinks every time I go out just to see if they forget to bring it, and you'd be surprised how often it happens. That's an automatic 3 point deduction.

Or better yet, if I ask for a particular condiment to go along with my mean (i.e. parm cheese, a side of sauce, an extra blue cheese, etc). There's always a 50-50 chance that it will come. Iif I have to ask again, it's a 3 point deduction. if I don't ask again, and it never comes out all together, it's an automatic 5 point deduction.

Donny B, it sounds like you go in looking for a reason to lower the tip. Wow.

Donny B -- you sound like a real PITA diner!

Donny B -- do you judge figure skating, too?

He has the art of non-tipping down to a science!

Really, Donny B? You order water just to see if your server passes a test they don't know about? That seems mean-spirited.

Hey Donny B, would you like to go out to dinner sometime?

I agree with Donnie B. I use the same system for the same reasons. Now on the other side of the coin, I also give points for going above and beyond. I have had a server at Joe Squared who I gave 35% tip. I was one of the best experiences I had.

Springs1 +1 ... I hate being the person who everybody looks at because he's laughing at loud at his computer screen. I just got this vision of Ranch dressing and switching from Coke to Rootbeer. Oh stop it!

I'm trying to imagine a pleasant dinner conversation with Donny B while he does these calculations in his head. What was that you said, dear?

DonnyB - has it ever happened that the meal ended with the server owing you money?

Or better yet, if I ask for a particular condiment to go along with my mean

:)

I'm a socially inept geek, in to being efficient and consistent. But, Donny B., you sound like you are looking for an excuse not to tip, not like a geek.

The type of establishment (4 or 5-star) should have nothing to do with the tip. Hey, if i get a great server at Denny's I'm leaving 25%. And I'm not waiting to find 5 or 6 other people just to go out to eat.

Re: Tipping at highly-rated restaurants.

If anything, I typically use a reverse rationale for being more stringent with my personal tipping policy at finer-dining establishments.

I figure that at the more expensive restaurant -- 15% (or what-have-you) multiplies out to a larger total, by virtue of more expensive plates.

But what does the service have to do with how expensive menu items are?
Directly, nothing. We undertake certain assumptions about how they indirectly relate: finer-dining establishments tend to have smaller capacity and lower turnover place a limit. Additionally, we also expect higher-quality service at a place with a more expensive menu.

That hard-working hash-slinging hon at Denny's or the Bel-Loc is often times just as friendly, polite and attentive as the stuffy waiter by the harbor.

If anything, the cool dude who sucks at service at the expensive joint is more likely to tick me off more than the single mom on her second-shift at the greasy dive.

I'm probably more likely to cut the latter a break and be more generous, in terms of percentage. Besides, off a smaller check, what's the big deal behind a few extra bucks?

To get the same kind of generous mood from me on a triple-digit check, you had better crawl pretty far up my buttcheeks for the same deal.

I'm bored with arguing about how much to tip. I thought this topic was about what to do when your realize you've undertipped or neglected to tip?

Yes! Thank you! EL

My last visit to the original Gunning's in Brooklyn, several years ago, was with a group largely made up of Asian nationals, who, not accustomed to tipping, left none. As we were getting ready to leave, our server came up to me (the one local in the group) and mentioned the lack of a tip. Since she had provided excellent service (and also took photos of the group), I was extremely apologetic and gave her cash for a very nice tip. Ordinarily, I might have been put off by a server complaining about a tip, but in this case, given the facts, I was only too glad to hear from her.

the first thing i think when i get under tipped or completely shafted is 'what did i do wrong?' i mean, there is plenty of room for error (more room with donny b apparantly) and always the chance for an accidental gaffe. but for every server who has ever been undertipped accidentally, THANK YOU for all who come back and fix it.

And El Generalissimo,
"To get the same kind of generous mood from me on a triple-digit check, you had better crawl pretty far up my buttcheeks for the same deal." Stop going out to eat anywhere nice. I serve your expensive food, not perform proctology. Your check would be much higher otherwise.

I hereby nominate Still Serving's as the Comment of the Week!!

To break it down, I probably tip 20% about 60% of the time. About 39% of the time it ranges between 15-17%. And then about 1% of the time I find the service so horrible that they get less than 15%.

Yes Stacy, I deliberately order the water for that very reason. I'm not kidding here. But I also order it because I enjoy water with my meal.

Why should I reward a server who completely forgets to bring me somethign I ordered?

The only reason I apply the standard is because it happens so often. I noticed it happening more and more about 10 years ago. There's at least a 60-40 chance that I'll get the water.

If it happened only once in a while, I wouldn't mind. But I am sick and tired of ordering a glass of water that never comes. The frequency of it leads me to believe the only reason for it is carelessness. And if so many servers out there that cannot remember the simple order of a glass of water, then they do NOT deserve the full 20%.

I I don't have to worry about it at some of the finer places, nor at Chinese restaurants because they always make sure your water glass is full and they keep it coming. You don;t even have to ask for it.

But some places won't serve you water unless you ask for it. So if that's their policy, the least a customer is to expect is that the water actually arrives if they ask for it.

So all you waters and waitresses out there who are apalled at my method, and who feel entitled to a 20% tip no matter what, let me make it real simple. Don't forget to bring the customer their water when they order it,

Hal--

Not true. Like I said, if I get half-way decent service I always tip 20%. But there are certian things that have been happening so often no matter where I dine that I'm sick of putting up with it.

I HATE it when I order a soup or a slald and it never comes. Or I wait so long that I have to ask for it I have to ask for it, only for the entree to be delivered right afterwards. That drives me up a wall, but it happens all the time and frankly I'm sick of putting up with it. And I've worked in the restaurant induatry enough to know that the server is typically the one at fault because they forget to ring it in. hell, in a lot of restaurants it's the server's own job to dish out the soup! So now whenever that happens, points get decucted off the tip. I'm sick of the excuses.

Like with the water, if it only happened a small once in a while, I wouldn't mind. But it happens way more often than it should.

I was in Boston back in April, and on my first night there, I walked out of a bar and realized I had forgotten to tip the bartender for my Sam Adams. I debated what to do before I finally ran back in, chased him down, and give him a tip. I didn't ever see him again, but I was at least able to fall asleep that night.

still serving:

If it sounded like a knock against all servers who work at finer-dining establishments, I apologize.

Let me rephrase my argument: if I'm dropping you $40 at 15%, there's a good chance you're still probably making out better than the $8 at 20% that I tipped at Denny's, for what could very well be the exact same effort.

Fortunately, most servers at fine-dining establishments demonstrate consummate professionalism, and have earned those positions. And I do reflect that in my tipping.

What I object to is the notion that a more expensive menu automatically increases the percentage baseline of a gratuity. As far as I'm concerned, that's built into the menu prices.

It's the bleeding-heart pinko socialist in me that feels a little twinge when I'm at a greasy spoon, and I see that even a generous 25% for a server who's busting their butt still falls way short of the 15% I've left for some of the lesser servers I've had at expensive restaurants.

My parents could never agree on ANYthing so eating out was an endurance sport for their company and servers. My Dad would leave a nice tip, especially if the waitress had been less than hostile. If she smiled, she got serious cash but only if she could beat my Mom to the table.
Mommie made a bathroom trip so she could swoop by to pick up the tip.
I smile now.

I will, more infrequently now, visit local Waffle House restaurants for a breakfast. The servers there are probably at the lowest end of the server hierarchy but most often they provide attentive service with a genuine smile. I love their attitude and sometimes leave a 50% tip since the bill isn't that much.

But I remember on one local visit, there was a huge guy eating by himself and when he left, I heard the servers discussing that he never ever left a tip. And he was a Bengals football player, just couldn't affaord it I guess.

I look at tipping differently. I only use the amount of the check if everything was just or below average. Otherwise, I decide how much the entertainment was worth. Many times I've thought the entertainment was worth double the tariff. Sometimes more. I couldn't care less what the bill is at those times.

The service? Bring me what I want if you're able. Keep the small talk down to a minimum. And leave me alone with my wife and/or friends.

Timing of the food has nothing to do with it. Neither does quality of food have anything to do with the tip (I may not go back however).

I'm out to have fun. I simply won't let service, food quality, mistakes, or anything else get in the way.

This also insures service never sucks the second time around. People in the restaurant business remember.

I admire all who have returned to take care of someone who took care of them. Shows you live in a solid reality.

mn

mn - Where is it that you are eating that the service is so entertaining you would tip $200 on a $100 bill? And what did they do to entertain you?

And what did they do to entertain you? Bucky, are you bringing this back around to Hooters again?

Bucky, are you bringing this back around to Hooters again?

For a $200 tip on a $100 bill, they better be a lot more entertaining than Hooters.