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June 8, 2009

Final thought on the evil vending machine

Isn't it clever how they put all the indestructible items (chewing gum, Milky Way bars) on the bottom rows, while the top rows are filled with fragile chips and cookies like Sugar Wafers that can crumble into a thousand pieces? You put your money in, make your selection, and it's like watching a cliff diver crash on the rocks below.
Posted by Elizabeth Large at 5:05 PM | | Comments (16)
        

Comments

Did Andy Rooney retire from 60 Minutes? B>)

You ever wonder why paper clips get stuck together?

Why do people give me paper weights?

Why is it that you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Hey, I kid because I love.

Actually, the "Pillow Pak" used for chips, plus the relative lightness of the contents should not cause any problem dropping the few feet from the top to the bottom. If the chips are smashed, its more likely the handling the bag received before being put into the machine. The sugar wafers, are not packaged to withstand any handling however. They are wrapped so tightly that they can turn to powder and you won't know until you open them

Blame the vending machine manufacturers for putting the larger bins on the top and the small bins for gum, life savers, etc. on the bottom and not padding the drop zone. Have you ever seen the Snapple vending machines where it says right on it "Watch the bottle drop"? It does, I have, and I've never seen one break.

Random vending machine fact: Someone loading a vending machine once told me the healthier/low-calorie foods go on the left of each row. It seems to be true (granola bars on the left end of the candy bar row, pretzels on the left end of the chips, etc)...although I have no idea why.

Because 87% of people are right handed and choose with their dominant hand. Right?

Why does everything in a vending machine have to drop down into the slot, anyway? The fall pulverizes cookies and chips, and makes soft drinks fizz so much you can't open them for 10 minutes.

The only item impervious to this rule is bottled water. Why isn't bottled water on the bottom row?

Sorry - I meant to say why isn't bottled water on the TOP row?

Ha. Andy Rooney, classic curmudgeon. That's me in 30 years...oh who am I kidding, that's me now.

Yeah, when I grow up, I want to be a curmudgeon. I don't think Andy Rooney did it particularly well, I'm sure, if I practise, I can do better.

Hey, kids, get off my cat grass!

During the election I wanted to have bumper stickers made that said "McCain 08 – Get Off My Lawn!"

Andy Rooney's not funny, just grumpy.

..."Pillow Pak" used for chips, plus the relative lightness of the contents should not cause any problem dropping the few feet from the top to the bottom...

Oh, RiE! You're such an engineer!

Carol in H - If you buy chips and water - watch out. Timber = crunch

the vending machine at mica (md institute college of art) was so badly designed one couldn't get certain items out. Being a design student I put a nice big note on the machine. Students, faculty amused perhaps, vending machine guy not.

When I grow up, I want to be a henchman. I don't know why, it just sounds cool.

This post made me laugh out loud. Lately that vending machine that you mention hasn't been letting the purchased item get all the way to the bottom. The bad-for-me snack remains lodged above that trap door. It's probably all for the best.

I really try hard not to buy from vending machines, although sometimes I have little choice. But I'm a left buyer - granola bar for me.

The really scary vending machines have apples that have been there for weeks.

Heavy things go on the bottom, light things go on the top because if you put the heavy things on the top the machine will be top heavy and fall over on the person sticking his hand into the slot to retrieve the food that did not properly drop. Physics, people!

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About Elizabeth Large
Elizabeth Large, The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic, blogs about memorable meals, dining trends, comings and goings on the restaurant scene and more.
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