Deals from your favorite chains
I'm always happy when Owl Meat addresses the recession because of his vast and superior knowledge of economic issues. His thoughtful and insightful analyses bring a little class to Dining@Large. Here's Owlie with today's Funtastic Thursday guest post. EL ...
In this economy businesses are working hard to create specials to attract the dwindling stores of disposable income. Here are a few that my crack staff have collected.
Long John Silver's Bucket O' Krill
Ruby Tuesdays Happy Hour –- 25 cent bar mat shooters
Red Robin -– All You Can Eat "Robin"
Paddy O'Furncher's Irish Pub -– Buy one, get one
Chili's -– The $5.95 nacho bar is just Cool Ranch Doritos, ketchup and Splenda
P.J. Cooter's -– Mondays ladies drink free .. in the owner's tricked-out van
Applebee's $4.95 Roast Bif or Loobster Thursday
Friendly's Economy Soup of the Day -– Cream of mayonnaise
T.G.I. Friday's Road-Kill-Apalooza -– Sunday is Varmint Day!
Olive Garden -– Endless Bread Crumb Bar
Red Lobster -– Bait Fest ... Don't be glum, eat some chum!
Sizzler -– Get your photo taken on Sir Loin's lap on Wednesday ... ladies.
Cracker Barrel -– $1.95 Hobo Stew. Now chunkier ... more hobo.
There's a fajita bar and your waitress is named Fajita.
(Photo Credit: Getty Images)
Comments
I'm wiping tears from my eyes, OMG. (No one notices --I blend in with the rest of the downtrodden here who are weeping at The Big Corporation.) Your staff on crack did a fine job, as usual.
Posted by: *◄:o)╥╥~YumPorchetta | June 25, 2009 11:06 AM
Owl Meat Gourmet,
Wonderful. Love the waitress photos.
Posted by: Laura Lee | June 25, 2009 12:02 PM
Thanks girls. I think I saw some kind of special at IHOP or Denny's for $1.99. How do they do that? And hasn't McDonald's had a dollar menu for like 20 years? How do they igniore inflation?
Posted by: Owl Meat Gluten | June 25, 2009 12:43 PM
Thankfully, no one is in my office right now so the loud bark of laughter disturbed no one.
Posted by: Rosebud | June 25, 2009 12:57 PM
I like the last one best, even though I have no idea what it means.
How long did it take you to find a waitress named Fajita?
Posted by: Amanda C | June 25, 2009 1:00 PM
She pronounces her name Fah-yay.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gerund | June 25, 2009 1:19 PM
This is not funny at all. I was looking for some serious INFORMATION and all I got was a bunch of lies. In THIS ECONOMY it's about time you start givng us information we can really use.
Posted by: concerned | June 25, 2009 3:19 PM
A GARDEN?!?!?!?
Posted by: RayRay | June 25, 2009 3:34 PM
Aw, c'mon concerned...
Red Robin -– All You Can Eat "Robin"
Cracker Barrel -– $1.95 Hobo Stew. Now chunkier ... more hobo.
Olive Garden -– Endless Bread Crumb Bar
You didn't find those funny? Really? I'm sad for you.
Posted by: Bucky | June 25, 2009 3:36 PM
If I WANT humor I'll turn on Jay Leno or the Golden Girls. THIS newspaper has a public obligation to PROVIDE ACCURATE information to the reading public, not entertainment like Bozo the CLOWN.
Posted by: concerned | June 25, 2009 3:43 PM
Dammit, I draw the line at dissin' Bozo.
Posted by: Bucky | June 25, 2009 3:46 PM
Could we suggest to "concerned" a place, perhaps with a veranda overlooking the water, with better food than any of the chain restaurants mentioned, where he or she can sit down for a glass of good wine and reflect quietly on excessive use of the caps lock key?
Posted by: John McIntyre | June 25, 2009 3:50 PM
Prof. McIntyre, I have a theory that the caps lock key is what this generation uses in place of "prestigious" and its synonyms.
Still just a theory...
Posted by: Bucky | June 25, 2009 3:54 PM
Well, I liked the post and found it very clever. Do you think that maybe you're just taking this whole thing a little too seriously, concerned?
Posted by: Camille Quelquejeu | June 25, 2009 4:01 PM
Comedy isn't pretty, even in this economy.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | June 25, 2009 4:04 PM
whoooosh
Posted by: MrRational | June 25, 2009 4:05 PM
are those four pictures at the top pictures of barbie hargrave? i can't tell because of the weird colors.
Posted by: howie | June 25, 2009 4:10 PM
How ELSE am I supposed to place EMPHASIS on words that I WANT to EMPHASIZE?
Posted by: concerned | June 25, 2009 4:10 PM
concerned
If you haven't heard, this is not a newspaper; it's a blog. For information check Wiki.
Posted by: LEC | June 25, 2009 4:20 PM
No, that is not Barbie Hargrave. It may be her grandmother though. The original B&W photo can be seen on the Owl Meat Apocrypha
You can find Barbie on Facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1018451783&hiq=barbie%2Chargrave
It should be no shock that Barbie is now a blonde.
Great Caesar's Ghost! I am officially as bored as I have ever been.
Posted by: Owl Meat Grackle | June 25, 2009 4:27 PM
whoooosh
Hmmm, does that mean MrRational is actually Pierre?
Posted by: Owl Meat Grackle | June 25, 2009 4:33 PM
EL, my previous comment got lost somewhere.
Posted by: Owl Meat Grackle | June 25, 2009 4:37 PM
I think that concerned is mixing up the Sun with a non-tabloid newspaper. And a blog with a newspaper.
The old fashioned way of showing emphasis on the web is to use italics. The less proper, yet older way, is to use asterisks around the words you wish to emphasise. That requires no knowledge of html.
Using all caps just makes you look insane.
Posted by: Lissa | June 25, 2009 4:48 PM
Hey! Someone new to the sandbox!
Too bad Concerned came on the wrong post. Ah well... And I suppose it would be blasphemous for one to suggest that Concerned check out the archives which would likely yield the nuggets to be found.
OMG: The images of P.J. Cooters van was where I completely lost it and the rest of my staff rushed over to see what was so funny...
Posted by: Maggi | June 25, 2009 4:50 PM
Was Bozo the clown a local thing? I don't remember him as a child.
Posted by: Owl Meat GlugGlug | June 25, 2009 4:52 PM
LEAVE concerned alone!! SHE/HE makes PERFECT sense to ME!!!
Posted by: Cousin Springs1 | June 25, 2009 5:01 PM
I believe Bozo was actually a ...franchise...I think would describe it. Not a syndicated show. The character was, maybe "licensed" is a better word. So, many stations produced their own Bozo shows with their own Bozo, but every Bozo looked alike. Think Ronald McDonald.
Posted by: Bucky | June 25, 2009 5:02 PM
Using all caps just makes you look insane.
I think using astericks makes YOU look ***INSANE***. THAT is just crazy, since it is NOT even REAL punctuation, MAKING UP your own fake punctuation now THAT'S INSANE!!!
Posted by: ***concerned*** | June 25, 2009 5:05 PM
YOU go GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Cousin Springs1 | June 25, 2009 5:11 PM
I don't think I missed anything by my lack of Bozo exposure. Maybe there was a Bozo in the Philly area, but I had the good sense to avoid him. Freakin clowns are creepy. We had an afternoon live/cartoon show called the Gene London Show. Gene solved mysteries insode scary Quigley Manor and played cartoons. I guess it was something like Captain Chesapeake here.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gonzo | June 25, 2009 5:15 PM
Yes, Bucky, Bozo was a franchise. And scary. Like all clowns.
I do love how every person who comes to the Internet feels that their own particular grammar and punctuation quirks are the One True Way, and that everything that came before them was obviously a lie.
The Internet has never recovered from that first influx of people from AOL, I fear.
Posted by: Lissa | June 25, 2009 5:18 PM
OMG: The images of P.J. Cooters van was where I completely lost it and the rest of my staff rushed over to see what was so funny.
Bringing chaos to the workplace is my life's goal. Also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs.
Posted by: Owl Meat Glee | June 25, 2009 5:23 PM
This Sir Loin sounds intriguing. I believe we may have attended Eton together.
Posted by: `∑|:€)╬═╣ Lord Marmalade | June 25, 2009 5:31 PM
My favorite ALL TIME EConomY***
meal was the
HUNGRY HEIFERS All U Can Eat Surf and Turf for $1.99 that Norm frequented on CHEERS.
FISH STICKS AND MUSHROOM GRAVY*****!!!!!
Posted by: Anonymous | June 25, 2009 5:34 PM
We didn't have a clown show, but we had Sherriff Scotty. And one time, I square danced on Sherriff Scotty's show.
Oh, alamand left with your left hand, then grab your partner, right-and-left grand...
Ah, memories from my Wonder years...
Posted by: Bucky | June 25, 2009 5:42 PM
Yes, anon, I stole "loobster and bif" from Cheers. IT was another of the Hungry Heiffer's dubious specials.
Posted by: Owl Meat Glue | June 25, 2009 5:45 PM
... and today is Day 4 of my just-for-spite blog Crabs, Crabs, Crabs at http://baltimorecrabs.wordpress.com
For some reason (mental illness) I will have a blog entry every day on crabs for the rest of the summer.
And now it's off to Amicci's because Heather called to tell me that they have $4 ice picks and $3 pickle juice vodka shots.
Posted by: Owl Meat Grabby | June 25, 2009 6:35 PM
Oh--Owl must be back. Hello, Owl.
Doe anyone else remember Clarabelle the Clown, or was that only in LA?
Posted by: Dahlink | June 25, 2009 7:47 PM
Owl,
Great post, laughed me rear off. Especially the bar mat shooters.
Welcome back to the Land of Pleasant Living!
Posted by: PCB Rob | June 25, 2009 8:39 PM
Ooooo ooooo...I know this one, Dahlink. Clarabell the clown...Howdy Doodie show...never talked...later became Captain Kangaroo.
Posted by: Bucky | June 25, 2009 8:44 PM
The weatherman Willard Scott was Bozo the Clown on the local DC station in the early 60's,,,
Posted by: Hue | June 25, 2009 9:56 PM
and if I remember correctly Stu Kerr was the Baltimore Bozo
Posted by: Hue | June 25, 2009 9:58 PM
Before he was Professor Kool, Stu was Bozo. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stu_Kerr
Posted by: Mr. Trifecta | June 25, 2009 10:58 PM
And in Boston in the 1960s. "Miss Jean" of the local Romper Room franchise was married to a TV reporter who subbed as Nozo the Clown, Bozo's brother, after the Bozo on the local Bozo franchise suffered a broken leg. Check it out at this webpage.
Posted by: hmpstd | June 26, 2009 7:03 AM
Ruby Tuesdays Happy Hour –- 25 cent bar mat shooters
I think I may have actually done those.
God, I miss college.
Posted by: El Generalissimo | June 26, 2009 8:39 AM
Owl, you would have been a most valued guest at a wedding that I went to that ended with an brawl. You could have contributed vast amounts of chaos and humor to that party!
Posted by: Joyce W. | June 26, 2009 9:50 AM
Is there anything better than a wedding that ends in a brawl? I think not.
People say that half of all weddings end in divorce, but I like to think that half of all weddings end in death.
Posted by: Owl Meat Groom | June 26, 2009 9:59 AM
Concerned, can you GET a GRIP!? You obviously had your funnybone surgically removed, so please, don't go away angry, just GO AWAY! Anyone willing to help me escort Concerned off the premises?
Owlie, as usual, your list is hilarious! Red Lobster and Cracker Barrel had me snorting soda on the keyboard.
Posted by: Dottie | June 27, 2009 10:34 PM
wow, I was kind of BORED but then two and a HALF days later Dottie wakes me up from my SLUMBER. SOMEONE needs to be the voice of MORALE outrage and why NOT be myself??? ZZZZZZZZ.... still kind of bored BACK TO SLEEP!!!
Posted by: concerned | June 28, 2009 11:43 AM
Hmmm ... MORALE outrage?
Posted by: Dahlink | June 28, 2009 1:30 PM
Morale outrage? I like that.
concerned really sleeps loudly.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gloaming | June 28, 2009 1:36 PM
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Posted by: Hal Laurent | June 28, 2009 1:39 PM
i am NOT going AWAY until this topic gets to 100 COMMENTS
Posted by: concerned | June 28, 2009 2:04 PM
Very funny FAKE concerned. FAKE FAKE FAKE. You people are PATHETIC making up FAKE FAKE FAKE names. WHAT KIND OF IDIOT would SIT on his BUTT COUNTING THE NUMBER OF COMMENTS?!? Good BYE
Posted by: concerned | June 28, 2009 2:14 PM
concerned - If we are so pathetic and make you so mad, why do you continue to come to this blog?
Posted by: Trixie | June 28, 2009 2:26 PM
concerned,
don't let the door hit you in the rear on your way out.
Posted by: PCB Rob | June 28, 2009 2:26 PM
PCB Rob - I'll take the chain, you get the dead bolt!
Posted by: Trixie | June 28, 2009 2:33 PM
well GOODBYE RIGHT BACK!!!! I was just visiting because my old buddy BUCKY asked me to stop by.
Posted by: concerned | June 28, 2009 2:34 PM
Aw, poor little concerned. You need a big hug and blog makeover. why don't you give yourself a more sporty name, get a mani-pedi and take some deep breaths. Then have a moderate amount of red wine and ask yourself why are you screaming.
Remember when Lord Marmalade was the awful Jonathon Gilbert? Or at least I think he was.
Posted by: ~╥╥☺◄TerrierGirl►☺╥╥~ | June 28, 2009 2:48 PM
Perhaps concerned is trying to fill the void left by the demise of BILLY MAYS.
Posted by: Hal Laurent | June 28, 2009 3:25 PM
Hal, I just heard about the death of Billy Mays on NPR as I was driving home from Wegman's. Getting hit on the head by falling luggage is a horrible way to go (and maybe a good reason not to sit in the aisle seat).
Posted by: Dahlink | June 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Ed McMahon was the ultimate pitchman. Compared to him, Billy Mays was a rank amateur.
Posted by: hmpstd | June 28, 2009 6:17 PM
Right you are sir!
Posted by: Art Fern | June 28, 2009 6:19 PM
Billy Mays was just LOUD.
Posted by: Hal Laurent | June 28, 2009 6:29 PM
Hal, you are correct. He had no other skills or values (that I could see) as a pitchman.
And, he literally woke me up from sleep a few times when I fell asleep with the tv on!
Before we knew his name we just called him "the loud guy".
Posted by: Joyce W. | June 28, 2009 6:47 PM
Whoa up there, concerned, don't be dragging me into this. I was being nice right up until you dis'd Bozo.
I go fishing for a day and come back to yet more deaths...not only Billie Mays, but also My Little Margie.
What a week, huh?
Posted by: Bucky | June 28, 2009 10:17 PM
Sue Hopper, is that you?
Posted by: RayRay | June 29, 2009 7:27 AM
Gale Sorm died?
Posted by: Eve | June 29, 2009 10:14 AM
Yep. Gale Storm died, on Sunday.
Posted by: Bucky | June 29, 2009 10:39 AM