Cheerios are baby crack and other childish horrors
I am a parent, and I started off well, breast feeding and then making my own baby food. But one day I found Gailor and myself on the front steps eating Fritos out of the giant economy bag.
Here's Owl Meat with an intriguing guest post. EL
Monsanto's new research division KMFDM in Borken North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, is launching a multi-phase GMO program called Wissenschaftkinder (Science Babies). In one experiment, corn was genetically modified to contain bioluminescent genes extracted from myoclonic krill and a rare jellyfish (Aequorea victoria). When laboratory animals consume the corn, they emit bioluminescence similar to that in fireflies. ...
Human infants under 18 months generally lack the enzymes to break down and eliminate the inert glowing substance for 12 hours. Monsanto spokesperson Holger Czukay believes that this will be helpful when trying to "locate the babies in distress mode in light-deprived environments." He adds that it "will lessen the need for turning on electric lights, thus helping the infant to return to a sleep state more rapidly."
This dovetails with their energy-saving Grüne Profittechnologie initiative.
Okay, none of that is true. I just thought it was a cool photo effect. Now, more about tiny humans and food.
When I was very young. I would eat anything -- clams, oysters, braunschweiger, possibly even mayonnaise, hard-boiled eggs, and the dreaded so-called picnic salads. Some kids start out picky, but I became more selective by nine or 10. That's right, selective.
I later developed a re-appreciation for clams via sashimi. At sushi places I gobbled giant clam, surf clams, razor clams, cockles, mussels and some Japanese delicacy called "alai alai oh." I even once ate live scallop liver and lips and hallucinated (accidentally) for an hour or so.
Oysters? No. No. No.
It's hard to know if I grew out of certain foods or the world did. Example: fish sticks.
I don't have a child, so I can't imagine dealing with someone that picky and illogical. Parents seem to give up and let their children eat junk in restaurants. Kids' menus consist of the same cliché items: macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers, hamburger, fries, and tater tots. What in the world do children in lands without American junk food eat? I guess that's why China gives away so many babies – tots want tots.
American children are the most spoiled on Earth, with the possible exception of toddler Dalai Lamas. The way that parents coddle them like petulant dauphins who can kill with their minds is disturbing. It's bad for their health and their future social well-being. Spoiled children become selfish adults. Come on, kids will only eat fried chicken fingers? They didn't even exist when I was little.
Regarding the ubiquitous Ziploc baggie of Cheerios – when did Cheerios become baby crack? This just in: The FDA declares that Cheerios are a drug.
There are a few things to chew on. Fire away.
(Photo credit: Getty Images)