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June 4, 2009

Cheerios are baby crack and other childish horrors

baby.bmpThat Owl Meat. He gets me every time.

I am a parent, and I started off well, breast feeding and then making my own baby food. But one day I found Gailor and myself on the front steps eating Fritos out of the giant economy bag.

What happened?

Here's Owl Meat with an intriguing guest post. EL

Monsanto's new research division KMFDM in Borken North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, is launching a multi-phase GMO program called Wissenschaftkinder (Science Babies). In one experiment, corn was genetically modified to contain bioluminescent genes extracted from myoclonic krill and a rare jellyfish (Aequorea victoria). When laboratory animals consume the corn, they emit bioluminescence similar to that in fireflies. ...

Human infants under 18 months generally lack the enzymes to break down and eliminate the inert glowing substance for 12 hours. Monsanto spokesperson Holger Czukay believes that this will be helpful when trying to "locate the babies in distress mode in light-deprived environments."  He adds that it "will lessen the need for turning on electric lights, thus helping the infant to return to a sleep state more rapidly."

This dovetails with their energy-saving Grüne Profittechnologie initiative.
Okay, none of that is true. I just thought it was a cool photo effect. Now, more about tiny humans and food.
When I was very young. I would eat anything -- clams, oysters, braunschweiger, possibly even mayonnaise, hard-boiled eggs, and the dreaded so-called picnic salads. Some kids start out picky, but I became more selective by nine or 10. That's right, selective.

I later developed a re-appreciation for clams via sashimi. At sushi places I gobbled giant clam, surf clams, razor clams, cockles, mussels and some Japanese delicacy called "alai alai oh."  I even once ate live scallop liver and lips and hallucinated (accidentally) for an hour or so.

Oysters? No. No. No.
It's hard to know if I grew out of certain foods or the world did.  Example: fish sticks.  
I don't have a child, so I can't imagine dealing with someone that picky and illogical. Parents seem to give up and let their children eat junk in restaurants. Kids' menus consist of the same cliché items: macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers, hamburger, fries, and tater tots. What in the world do children in lands without American junk food eat? I guess that's why China gives away so many babies  – tots want tots.
American children are the most spoiled on Earth, with the possible exception of toddler Dalai Lamas. The way that parents coddle them like petulant dauphins who can kill with their minds is disturbing. It's bad for their health and their future social well-being. Spoiled children become selfish adults. Come on, kids will only eat fried chicken fingers? They didn't even exist when I was little.
Regarding the ubiquitous Ziploc baggie of Cheerios – when did Cheerios become baby crack? This just in: The FDA declares that Cheerios are a drug.
There are a few things to chew on. Fire away.

(Photo credit: Getty Images)

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 12:01 PM | | Comments (152)


Come on, kids will only eat fried chicken fingers? They didn't even exist when I was little.

I'm confused. Is that an argument for or against fried chicken fingers?

Good post, Owlie. But for EL's intro, you would have had me believing in glowing German toddlers, too.

KMFDM? You trying for a drug against war, Owlie?

Cheerios are a godsend when you are schlepping a toddler to a restaurant (no not white linen dining, please don't start That again!). It is something for them to snack on while they are waiting for their chicken fingers. Or in my son's case, sushi.

Owl, I think there's always been children's menus just as I think there's always been Cheerios in baby bags. It didn't make my generation spoiled and self indulgent. The vastly upwardly mobile climb of the economy during the sixties and Boogie Weinglass did that for us instead.

I find children's menus offensive. They are fine if they are half-portions for 75% of the price (which was just starting when I was a kid), but the idea that children will only eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs and mac n' cheese is not giving kids much credit.

One of my proudest moments as a child as ordering creamed spinach and fried liver in a Sambo's, and turning the waitress green. She nearly called CPS, convinced that I was being forced to each spinach and liver.

Not at all. I loved spinach and liver as a kid. Still do.

The first time I ran in to sushi was at the opening of the Tae Kwon Do dojo my brother attended (in a futile attempt to make him manly). I didn't know what this wonderful rice and stuff concoction was, but I couldn't stop eating it, despite being raised that ladies didn't barely eat in public.

I was the only Anglo eating. About 8 Korean bubbies surrounded me, forcing more food on me by putting it on my plate (ladies clean their plates) and patting me on the head, all while chatting in Korean.

It was wonderful. Magical, even. Attention and wonderful food.

I fear that kids today don't get to have these kinds of experiences.

Lissa, I knew you would be one of the few to get the KMFDM reference. Note: It was/is a German industrial band. I have no idea what the initials stand for. People used to say that it stood for Kill MF'ing Depeche Mode.

I guess I should research my references:
KMFDM is an initialism for the nonsensical and grammatically incorrect German phrase "Kein Mehrheit Für Die Mitleid", which literally translates as "no majority for the pity" but is typically given the loose translation of "no pity for the majority" or "no mercy for the masses"

Holger Czukay was in the Kraut-rock Can.

Why did EL believe the opening story? Hmmm.... (evil) multi-national agribusiness conglomerate plus German scientists? Well, they already did have an uberbaby program.

Actually the technology exists to do this.

EL: I see why "any children" became "a child". Thanks. And that's why we need editors.

Tae Kwon Do dojo my brother attended (in a futile attempt to make him manly

But I assume he developed an appreciation of wrestling boys in their pyjamas.

HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY... you're not supposed to ruin the joke in the intro. That defeats the purpose.

P.S. In the Sixth Sense Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, he's a ghost

Owlie, there are some things I really don't want to know about my brother. I firmly believe in keeping fetish separate from family.

ah, another non-parent heard from on a child rearing issue- that just never gets old!

ah, another parent heard from with their *ss up in the air over child rearing issues-that never gets old!

Owl Meat GeneticallyModifiedOrganism --I'm proud to say that my children possess a fairly broad palette in regard to their food preferences. About the only thing I can't convince them to eat is shellfish. Perhaps they'll grow out of it.

sdr -- I hear you. It's almost like getting advice from the parish priest.

I would have believed the glowing babies story too. But I guess they'd have to ingest a lot of it.

mmmm....braunschweiger. I loved it when I was younger, but don't eat it now because its loaded with saturated fat. That doesn't stop my Dad though.

OM, remember my no-Shirley Temple story? That was the same restaurant where my parents would take me out for dinner, and my dad would order me his idea of a "children's meal": a filet mignon, baked potato, a vegetable, and a small green salad. I always ate from the regular menu wherever we went. Not that there were many adventurous choices in my hometown back in those days -- I think most places were either French, Italian (which we didn't frequent because my mom and grandma cooked far better Italian), steak, and fish/seafood. There were a few Chinese restaurants but they were pretty disreputable.

I was a picky eater at home. Didn't want certain foods touching others (grew out of that quickly), hated eating fish at home on Fridays, and would hide and cry when my mom made beef stronganoff. I still HATE beef stronganoff. I almost fear it as much as I fear quinoa. Every so often I'll get a letter from my mom with a cheery little note saying "Hi! Thought you'd like to see this! Love you!" and a recipe for beef stroganoff (sometimes accompanied by a gruesome photo of said recipe). Love you, too, Mom!!!

I can also give religious advice for a variety of religions that I have no experience with since I have stayed in a Holiday Inn Express.

Because you have to be a parent to notice the effect children have on the people around them, after all, right, sdr?

If I advocated for the removal of tax breaks for having children, suddenly there would be screams that children are an important part of the larger community.

Can't have it both ways, folks. will only eat fried chicken fingers? They didn't even exist when I was little.

Yah. And look how well you turned out.

When a GrandBoy and I dine in a grownup restaurant, he eats pretty much what he likes. We have other things to focus on - table manners, using our indoor voices, keeping those tricky napkins on our laps and not wiping our noses on our sleeves - to be messing with new foods.

With the price of restaurant meals, we go with a sure thing.

Joyce is right. Growing up, the only restaurant I remember eating in was Howard Johnson's. They certainly did have a children's menu. .

Beef stroganoff sounds good. Isn't it chunks of beef in gravy over noodles?

Howard Johnson's had fried chicken, spaghetti (NOT pasta) and clam strips on its childrens menu. With fries. We kids always ate from the kid's menu. I loved it, as my mother would not cook frozen clam strips. If we went out for pizza, there was no need for separate orders.

My father, frugal man that he was, made us order from the children's menu until we were obviously too old to do so. Going out to dinner was not an event; it was a way to give my mom a break on Friday nights, and I suppose in retrospect, a way to reinforce all those table manners we learned at home.

braunschweiger, braunschweiger, I grew up eating the stuff with spicy mustard, onions, on dark bread that they don't sell anymore. By college, I even spread out to coarse and smooth liverwurst.

We take our child to nice and no so nice restaurants. He eats what we pack or we order off the menu. He's never had a fried chicken stick nor fish. He does love peas, cheerios, and beans.

As a side note, he does scream at times and don't feel guilty about it. Do people apologize when they laugh or talk louder than what can only be heard at those tables? Deal with it or eat in your own home, complaining about the world going sour.

I'm glad you let your kids eat real food, Cheese, but screaming in restaurants is not appropriate for people of any age, no matter what their intoxication status.

I think Cheese wants a rumble.

ooh! Let's have a dance-off!

Let's Dance! Put on your red shoes and dance the blues...

I love tots!

Hey Eve, I thought you were so disgusted that you were never going to read any of my posts or comments again. B>)

Beef stroganoff sounds good. Isn't it chunks of beef in gravy over noodles?

OM, now you're torturing me.

Wow. I never realized how lucky I have it. My 4 year-old eschews nuggets, mac and cheese and the ilk. Taking him out to eat is always an adventure because he doesn't like what's on the childrens menu! Usually, we just order a side, and I'll share some of whatever I order. My friends think my kid is weird. I feel better now. Thanks!

Mr Owl

You have more religious credentials than most having studied Greek at a seminary.

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on!

Oh sorry, Yum. Is there some trauma associated with the Strog?

Well if you don't like it then neither do I. Actually I just looked at a picture of it and I think I know what you mean. Wasn't that one of those ubiquitous Good Housekeeping recipes that every mom in Anytown USA made in the 60s and 70s?

There's a Top Ten list with mass appeal:
Top Ten cliche American fancy meals(and where to find them in a restaurant):[rephrase]
Beef stroganoff
Chicken Kiev
Swedish meatballs
Veal Cordon Blue

there must be tons more. I'm probably blocking the traumatic memories along with the time that Father Mayo molested me at Oyster Beach. Hey, that explains a couple of things.

Not to mention the casseroles. Ugh.

Did you meet Father Mayo at the seminary?

I have had excellent beef stroganoff, but it is rare. It is one of those things, like goulash, that is seldom done properly.

LEC, yes but the more you know, the less you believe. That's the beauty of a Jesuit education. They teach the god right out of you.

Yes, the Jesuits did the same for me, thank god ( ironically ).

LEC, have you noticed something disturbing lately? I have heard this in person and on television about half a dozen times. Someone asks, "Are you Catholic?" And the person, usually a fundamentalist nutball says, "No I'm a Christian." Catholics are OG Christians. One fo those people told me that good deeds and acts of charity were bad because it was like bribing Jesus. I didn't know you could bribe him. Good to know.

OM, now that you've seen the photo, you understand my fear and loathing. It tastes as good as it looks. I hold Lissa in high regard, so I'll take her word that there is such a thing as "excellent" beef stroganoff. But I still think that "excellent beef stroganoff" is an oxymoron.

When I was attending school in Richmond, I attended services at a Baptist church with a friend (after I had attended Mass, of course -- Catholic guilt is powerful). A few days later, two people from the Baptist evangelism committee came to my house and asked if they could talk to me for a few minutes. Coincidentally, my friend was visiting me, so I invited them in. After some small talk, they asked me point blank if I was a Christian; I said yes, and explained that I was baptised and raised as a Catholic and attended Catholic school as a child. They exchanged glances and said, "Oh, that's okay. You can be saved anyway." Somehow I managed not to kick them out on their sanctimonious butts.

Yes Yum, there is a powerful anti-strog memory bubbling up.

I recently discovered that certain Protestant sects actively teach disinformation and hatred of Catholics. That is just ridiculous because any Catholic will tell you all kinds of true reasons to dislike the Church.

An acquaintance raised as a backwoods Methodist told me that the teachers in Catholic schools don't even go to college. That's right, someone who believes that Catholic schools are vastly inferior to Baltimore public schools.

I was raised as a Methodist in WV, but it was the Baptists down the road who liked to whisper about "those Catholics." If it weren't so scary, it'd be pretty funny.

I love good beef stroganoff, but I'm too ladylike to tell you what we call it in my house.

YumPo, I wouldn't wish you to think me crazy, so I'll tell you the secret - fat. Lots of it. Butter, sour cream, good, well-marbled beef. Don't overcook, taste your spicing and adjust.

I think stroganoff gets a bad rep because of bad cafeteria stroganoff and those damned can of versions.

But, isn't fat always the answer?

YumPo, as someone who was raised in a fundamentalist protestant church, I observed first hand how people were of two minds in their attitudes towards Catholics. On the one hand, they believed the Catholics had it all wrong doctrinally and thus their souls were in mortal danger. However, when it came time to rally the troops for the Right-to-Life campaign, the Papists were their best friends.

Of course, on Sunday morning when Pastor preached against the evils of using people, cognitive dissonance set in.

Did you meet Father Mayo at the seminary?

No, the three-legged race.

something about that image reminds me of laser cats

Liturgical Laura Lee, how did you escape? They don't tend to let their sheep wander far.

It's been a long time but I don't ever remember in catechism classes, church, relatives or other Catholics saying a bad word about any other church or faith. Ever. I also don't remember them acknowledging that there were other churches,

That's a great memory BG. You're amazing.

I♥U²4∞ B>)

OMG, are you calling me square? :)

Growing up I don't remember eating off the kids menu. Probably because my mom would never let me eat anything fried.

My favorite place as a child was a local family-run German place we went to about once a month (not old school German; it was essentially upscale meat and potatoes and seafood that would probably now be described as something like "new american").

My parents always let me order steak off the adult menu, which I loved.

Knowing what I know now, it wasn't easy for them to afford that back then, which makes me appreciate them even more, that they would let me do that as a child. Children don't need to have steak, especially when the family is on a tight budget. They could have told me no, but they let me have that experience every once in a while (and practice the nice table manners that were expected at that place). Yay mom and dad!

All the hate on beef mom makes a great beef stroganoff. I love the stuff, I guess its a guilty pleasure.
Sometimes, she would cheapen it up and use ground beef. Still good though.

When I was a child, I was a fairly picky eater. Heck, I probably still am!
Anyway, at a Middle River swim club place, I asked for a hamburger and got a crab cake sandwich. I refused it. When you bite into a sandwich expecting grilled meat, and get a taste of seafood, gack!

To this day, there isn't much seafood that I like, but crab cakes are now one of the seafood dishes that I will eat.

When we'd go out to eat, which was rare, I'd pretty much always get the open-faced turkey sandwich. Two pieces of white bread, with slices of mystery turkey meat (probably processed meat, definitely not carved off the bird) and then covered in gravy. It was my go-to meal as a kid. I think the sides were an ice-cream scoop size of Stove Top (or similar) and green beans. We never ate at high-end places. My family was on a tight budget.



But you are a dork too, B>)

PRob - I sometimes still like that kind of turkey dinner/sandwich as a comfort food throwback to the past. (Had many such meals as a child, myself). When I'm in the mood, I go to Werner's, Sugarbees, and Krause's (in Lexington Market).

Katie O'Malley very rudely and arrogantly cut in front of me once at Werner's in the pay line.

Well, I've been in conferences all day, and it looks like I missed a lot, so I'll lay out a bunch of random comments in a non sequitar fashion..

I thought it was the Coptics who were OG Christians.

My, we have a lot of lapsed Catholics in the sandbox. Catholics seem to burn out, not like Lutherans like myself who just seem to fade away.

Good beef stroganoff takes tenderloin. If you make it with round or stew meat, you end up with a livery tasting dog food.

What is an OG Christian?

RoCK - one set of my grandparents was Catholic and Lutheran - married to each other. They had to have wedding events at both churches, and they went to both services every Sunday.

When we visited the grandparents, we had to attend both services on Suday. It seemed to me there were extremely few differences in the services in terms of songs and readings, etc.

Yet, you're right, Catholics seem to be way more burned out. You never hear about "recovering" Lutherans.

Orthodox Churches are the OG. The original patriarchs were Rome, Constantinople, Antioch, Alexandria and Jerusalem.

The Copts are first century CE, traditionally converted by St. Mark, and were led from, of course, Alexandria.

My mother is a lapsed Catholic. Can I play, too?

Just because Orthodox priests have big beards doesn't make them more OG, yo. The Church started in Rome with Grandmaster Peter of the Furious Twelve. The Church opened a new franchise in Constantinople when the Empire was split. The Eastern Church and Empire are newer but the E. Empire fell later. It was all the same Church until the Great Beard Schism.

Roman Catholics are the original OGs, yo. Deny me and I will mos def pop a mitre in yo apse.

And thus starts the Great Eastern House/Golden West D@L OG Schism.

I still don't know what OG means.

I have fond memories of Werners. We visited there a bit when I worked at that 1 South Street building. A girl on the help desk and myself (a desktop support geek), we'd would be stuck with the late afternoon/evening shift on a Friday, would venture over for a late lunch and perhaps have an adult beverage or two.

Made the rest of the day go by a little easier.

Just because Orthodox priests have big beards doesn't make them more OG, yo. The Church started in Rome with Grandmaster Peter of the Furious Twelve. The Church opened a new franchise in Constantinople when the Empire was split. The Eastern Church and Empire are newer but the E. Empire fell later. It was all the same Church until the Great Beard Schism.

Roman Catholics are the original OGs, yo. Deny me and I will mos def pop a mitre in yo apse.

And thus starts the Great Eastern House/Golden West D@L OG Schism.

Okay, for you old crackers, OG is hip hop slang for Original Gansta, as in fo'fatha, yo. G was used in Old School hip hop to denote Gangsta. OG gave props to da foundin' fathas. Thus OG means originator or bitch what you give mad props to. Word. My black rage is boiling over now like NWA in 1991 in a Salt Lake City Denny's.


Owlie, I think you need to look up your early church history. The original patriarchs were independent. Rome was first among equals. The schism happened because the Pope insisted that Rome was in charge of everything, and should get to boss the other patriarchs around. This was pretty clearly not what Peter meant. Alexandria, Antioch, etc. have as strong a claim as Rome to being original.

The Copts, incidentally, being non-Chalcedonian, are apostolic, but also split off from the mainstream Orthodox.

This is what I get for reading Byzantine history. I'm not Christian, I don't know why I remember this stuff.

Slight swerve here. I was raised as a Methodist, but had a Mormon uncle (who was always trying to get me to go to BYU) and I knew a lot of Mormons growing up. One Mormon guy in knew in high school suddenly showed up to visit me in college and asked me to marry him "for life and all eternity." I said, "No and no." He actually had his parents waiting in the car while he popped the question.

Owlie, I think you need to look up your early church history.

I love waking up to this. Really. And the dozen sirens outside.

You're probably right Lissa. I'm weak on this area.

Somehow, I think sirens go well with early church history.

Might I suggest John Julius Norwich's books on the Byzantine Empire? He wrote a three volume set as well as doing his own one volume condensed version. He is a retired British diplomat, not a historian, and has a wonderful eye for the entertaining detail.

I picked up the condensed version at the library because I felt guilty for not knowing anything about the Byzantine Empire. Before I got 40 pages in, I had to put the book down and order the entire three volume set.

It is wonderful fun, and, out of necessity, contains a lot of religious history. Then again, when you are talking about a place that had riots in the street over the nature of Christ, among other obscure points of theology, it is pretty entertaining.

I woke up this morning to extremely loud thunder. Two hours later, it still hasn't started raining, but the thunder is still booming.

I love this place.

Sirens? Someone say sirens? Well get the wax out of your ears and enjoy the music.

Dahlink, it doesn't surprise me one bit that someone would want to marry you for life and all eternity.

Owl Meat GreenPastures, this sheep is still wandering. Perhaps I should move John Julius Norwich to the top of the stack on my bedside table.

PCB Rob, no thunder here but we've got plenty of rain. And chaos.
Now all we need is breakfast.

Hey PCB Rob - Ever try the open face turkey sandwich at Jerry D's on Harford Road? Last time I had one (granted a few years ago), they used a generous amount of "real" turkey, pretty decent gravy, and great fries. No shill here, I just like the place!

What do you call a masturbating bull?

Beef Stroganoff

Owl, the Sirens were trying to lure your ship onto the rocks.

Laura Lee, I find that breakfast is generally a very good response to breakfast.

(And I think you'd enjoy the Norwich, too. I love British non-fic written for the intelligent layperson.)

Ack. While breakfast is a good response to breakfast, I meant that breakfast is a good response to chaos.

Obviously, I need more coffee. And more yogurt.

Bird, during the 50s, in several Catholic elementary schools in NJ, there were lay-teachers who had not attended college. Which would have been called Normal Schools at the time these women (friends moms) would have been there.

Yo, Yo, Yo OG be packin the Holy hand Grenade of Antioch.

No, I can't say I've had Jerry D's open-faced turkey sandwich. I haven't been in there in years. I do remember getting their surf-n-turf and that was pretty good.

I believe Towson University started as Towson Normal School back in the 1800s.

Will it ever stop raining in Baltimore? Jeez, it seems like over a month of rain almost every day.

When it does stop, the roar of lawnmowers will be heard all over the city.

FL Rob, I think I saw someone in my neighborhood building an ark.

Where, Hal? I didn't know there were any spaces in Butchers' Hill large enough to build an ark. There is, at least, wood nearby.

spaces in Butchers' Hill large enough to build an ark

True. Neither Castle St. or Duncan St. parks would be big enough.

Patterson Park is right next door, though. You could always hide it under the dome at the ice skating rink.

spaces in Butchers' Hill large enough to build an ark

True. Neither Castle St. or Duncan St. parks would be big enough.

Patterson Park is right next door, though. You could always hide it under the dome at the ice skating rink.

Ah, so the ark is being built by my house.

I'm gonna hold out for my spaceship, if you don't mind.

Sorry, jumping back in the thread. The sirens lured me onto the rocks of Morpheus.

Marriage for life and all Eternity? Ugh.

I once heard two friends of mine who were married argue over that. One said, hell no, when we're dead I'm dating in Heaven. I only promised to love you until the end of our days. [True] The other expected them to be married in Heaven. They are of course getting divorced, since one couldn't wait for death.

Why am I thnking of Emily Dickinson?

If Noah had two of every species on the Ark, where were the kangaroos?

Why am I thnking of Emily Dickinson?

1) Because her poetry is always so bubbly and cheery; or

2) Because being forced to read it makes me wish for the escape of Death (or instead, for a red-hot poker to be shoved in my eye).

I *hate* Emily Dickinson. She went to my college (briefly, she and the founder apparently had a clash of realities), so we were supposed to swoon over her self-important trite garbage.


Yeah, I think being forced to read things ruins them for life. Most things are wasted on the young. So when you're a 38 year old spinster and you would really appreciate her, you still resent having to read her right after gym class.

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

Lissa, I haven't heard anybody bash Emily Dickinson before. Thank you. Something about her just makes me so bored.

Owlie, I have a problem with most poetry from roughly the 18th century through WWI. Come to think of it, I'm not so thrilled with most of the prose from that period, either, Madame Bovary excepted.

Weary mind never withstands fate,
nor does troubled thought bring help.
("The Wanderer")

Oh well I'm the type of guy who will never settle down,
Where pretty girls are well you know that I'm around
I kiss 'em and I love 'em cause to me they're all the same
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em they don't even know my name
They call me the wanderer , yeah I'm a wanderer,
I go around around around around

Last Post sounded
Across the mead
To where he loitered
With absent heed.
Five years before
in the evening there
Had flown that call
To him and his dear.
"You'll never come back;
Good-bye!" she had said;
"Here I'll be living
And my Love dead!"

Those closing minims
Had been as shafts darting
Through him and her pressed
In that last parting;
They thrilled him not now,
In the selfsame place
With the selfsame sun
On his war seamed face.
"Lurks a god's laughter
In this?" he said,
"That I am the living
And she the dead!"
Thomas Hardy

Another reason why I ♥ Lissa. With all due respect.

Yay Lissa and Yum. That era just blows. I had a doctor once who said she majored in 18th Century English literature. First, how cann you do that? Second, I lot a lot of respect for her, since that's basically majoring in being an unimaginative dreamy girl. Jane Austin, the Brontes, etc. Plus she didn't know anything about semiotics.

Kangaroos on the ark? My experience has been that fundamentalists have really elaborate and entertaining explanations of everything contradictary in the Bible. There is no evoloution and no extinction because god only creates perfect beings (6000 years ago)

I'm with Ivan.

I'm sorry but I don't understand the kangaroo issue. Fill me in please and I will go to the nearby "Creation Museum" and inquire.

I have always wanted to walk with a dinosaur.

How come god didn't know about any of the animals he created that resided outside the Middle East?

Why no dinosaurs in the Bible. They would have made it much more enjoyable. Moses riding a brontosaurus. Killer.

The Exodus is a historical fiction. Apparently all those Israelites didn't notice that they had camels there, which would have made their exit a lot easier. Plus, no pyramids, hence, not there.

Back to Lies You Tell Children on Sundays.

Deep Purple's Hush. Cool. I never realized how psychadelic their sound was on that. Time for some live scallop liver and lips.

Bird, I understand the difference is between evolution and adaptation.

I just saw an ad for Papa John's Six Cheese Tuscan Pizza. Do we really need six cheeses? I personallt think four is overkill. I wonder what six quality cheese Papa John uses? Oooooh, I hope one of them is fontina.

So, now we know that Lissa went to Mt. Holyoke, not Hampshire College.

I have confessed to not loving poetry, but I do love Emily Dickinson. Shall we discuss the fact that her first editor (the one who supplied more conventional punctuation) was also having a torrid affair with Emily's married brother Austin? Maybe not ... but I have always wondered what Emily thought about that.


Our deliciously unique Tuscan Six Cheese pizza is topped with an authentic six-cheese blend of mozzarella, Parmesan, Romano, Asiago, provolone and Fontina.

Fontina! This year's trendy cheese along with last year's, Asiago.

I understand the difference is between evolution and adaptation

Huh? Adaptation is what evolution is all about.

I wasn't going to touch that, Hal.

There was a guy who worked for me that explained that god didn't create the dinosaurs. The Devil created a race of human-like beings who created the dinosaurs. Because both were the result of Satan's handiwork, they were flawed and thus died out.

Jeez, the blog is pretty slow all day at work, and then when I leave (early of course-I'm now a short-timer) to go home and get stuff done, everyone shows up.

Joyce, great choice for a Friday. emo, that was a good tune in its day.

While I'm not much for poetry, I did like some of Emily Dickinson's stuff. I also remember reading that she was quite the flirt with other writers of the day.

Yep, Dahlink, I am a Mountie, although I worked at Camp Hamp for three years. All you had to do was ask .

I agree. Can you really taste the six different flavors in the cheeses they pile on? Probably not.

Its Friday afternoon, so I'm in lazy mode. For dinner its gonna be an Amy's organic mushroom and olive pizza. Don't know what's in the sauce they use, but it is excellent. Must be crack, huh?

100+ comments for baby crack. Shame shame shame

I just can't resist jumping in here to say that in studies of Jewish mysticism (usually called Kabbalah - but so damaged and tainted is THAT word now!) it is reported that god created 3 worlds. Destroying the first and beginning anew and then destroying the second and beginning anew.

Now you know why the bible doesn't mention the dinosaurs.

And, Fontina on pizza is ok but on a good paninni...a gift, trendy maybe but such a gift from the heavens!

I forget what version of horrible Papa John's pizza is.

"Destroying the first and beginning anew and then destroying the second and beginning anew."


"and God gave Moses
the rainbow sign
no more water
the fire next time"

The conversation on this topic is swerving and spinning so fast that my head is starting to hurt. OG Christians...Papa Johns's Pizza....Emily Dickson...

Aghhhhh....Calgon, take me away.

"and God gave Moses
the rainbow sign
no more water
the fire next time"

That's what I call hittin' them with the high heat.

Giod was gay? Who knew? I know Jesus was Italian.

Calgon? What brought that on?

Jesus was Italian because ... he hung around with the same twelve guys his whole life, he lived at home until he was 33 and his mother thought he was the son of god.

Ay. Oh. Ay.

FL Rob, How short is your time?

A short-timer is a military expression,

When you get orders for a new duty station, you become a "short-timer" at your current location.

I have just recently been offered and accepted a new job down here, so when I submitted my resignation, that makes me a short-timer.

PRob - congrats on the new job! Now that you're not moving back up here, do you think you'll still hang around in this space as much? (I hope so)

Congrats Rob. Still wrestling gators? There's a huge vacuum in the tormenting animals field since Steve Irwin was assassinated. Yeah, I said it. Prove me wrong.

Owl and BG,

Thanks! Yes, I plan on hanging around the blog, if y'all will have me.

Baltimore will always be "home" to me, and the blog is one way for me to stay connected.

I recently had an encounter with a gator, on a golf course. Me and the alligator were about 10 feet away from each other, it was in a water hazard just off the fairway. It was really eerie, just those little eyes and the snout poking out of the water. My guess is that it was just a little one, maybe only 3-4 feet long. Still, I made my shot and got the heck out of there. Gator was disinterested and swam away.
The pro shop guy told us there was gators on #11 and #13, and we thought he was kidding. Guess not.

PCB Rob, there was a very scary article in the New Yorker some weeks ago on exotic pets that have escaped in Florida and are thriving and multiplying in the suburbs. I made a mental note to NEVER move to Florida. Keep your eyes open!

I'm thinking most of those exotic pets are in the central/southern part of the state, where most people go.
People seem to forget about this part, which is a good thing. But I will keep alert for strange creatures.
Already, I have seen the strangest looking insects, and some very tiny frogs. Not to mention the 6 foot black snake outside my door last summer.

Black snakes are awesome. I want to release some in my alley. They are shy and eat rats.

What could possibly be a better urban animal than a black snake?

I'm surprised that no major city has ever unleashed a bunch of black snakes into the urban core. While the public wouldn't love the snakes, i don't think snakes carry any of the dieseases that rats do.


Subject: Warning from the State


The Florida Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters,
fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for
alligators while in Alachua, Marion, Lake, Collier, Lee, Seminole,
Osceola, Polk, Brevard, and Orange counties.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells
on their shoes or clothing to alert but not startle the alligators

They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with
an alligator.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity.

People should learn to recognize the difference between small young
alligator and large adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.
Adult alligator droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

Point to Hue!

PCB Rob, there was mention of very large pythons and (I think) komodo dragons. One woman was attacked by one of these very large lizards while doing yard work, and her dog is missing some body parts. They make a black snake look like a puppy dog by comparison.

You want to get rid of the rats in Baltimore? No need to get those creepy snakes involved.

An army of owls. They do their policing at night. And they scare the bejesus out of pigeons. Even a plastic one on your roof will do that.

A plague of owl in NJ:

So, there are no rats in Little Italy?

Owls need more turf than black snakes. The habitat isn't right for them, even here in Patterson Park.

I'd much rather have black snakes than rats. You see them occasionally in Detroit, generally sliding away from you when they are out sunning, and looking fat and happy.

Good one Hue!

Owl, I saw that movie a couple months ago.

I think the snakes around here eat all those chameleons and tiny frogs that croak really loud. We have lots of both.

Whenever I go to Marietta, Ohio (which oddly is quite often, and no I don't know anyone who lives there) I always notice the City Hall has dozens of Owls perched on the building. And to prove Owlie's point, I have never seen a rat in that town.

So, there are no rats in Little Italy?

No, there are not. Not one.

What amazes me is that an inert plastic owl on an urban roof can frighten pigeons, none of whom have ever seen a real owl. It must be genetic. I doubt that a plastic Abe Vigoda head woukd do the same.

Some of you might ,remember a City Paper article probably in the the mid-eighties, regarding a recreational approach to rat control in E. Baltimore.

Bars would have 'Rat Fishing" tournaments in the alleys at night. They would bait the hooks with bacon and cast down the alley. When they hooked one they would reel it in and then club it. I don't remember whether you won by most caught or biggest.

PETA had a cow or should I say a rat! They even sent over a person in a white rat suit to protest the new sport.

Ah, the good old days when things were simpler and more straightforward.

PETA had a cow or should I say a rat! They even sent over a person in a white rat suit to protest the new sport.

My immediate reaction: WE NEED A BIGGER CLUB

Are you serious? If so, that is funny and kinda gross at the same time.

Back when I was working at the Science Center and Oriole Park was being built, all the construction activity sent the rats eastward towards the harbor. With the water right there, the rats (sort of) convened around the Science Center. It certainly didn't hurt that Friendly's dumpster was outside. Anyway, sometimes at night, I'd see some really big rats.

Once, in our fourth floor office of the Science Center, a girl at the desk in front of me shrieked and pointed out the "mouse" that scurried along the wall.
I didn't tell her then, but that was no mouse. It was dark brown and had pointed ears.

I'm guessing we should stop talking about rats in a food blog.

FL Rob, I know what a short-timer is.

One of my former in-laws claimed that a neighbor's small dog was lost to a gator when they were playing fetch in the park. They were in Bradenton.

I didn't know you knew the lingo. For me, my last day is June 26.

I'm thinking of celebrating a bit that afternoon. :-)

Just google" rat fishing baltimore" and you will see. I think some of the rats could take down a small dog.

Too bad the City Paper doesn't have archives online. The picture of the PETA Rat was great.

And I did mention bacon.

Congrats, Fl Rob. Still looking to come back up here or satisfied (for the time being) with Fl?

Too bad the City Paper sucks in all possible ways, I never even look at it anymore. I prefer to stare at a blank wall until dots start forming random letter patterns.

They should have been blog leaders, but the last time I looked thye have nothing. Morons.

What kind of country are we? We can send a man to the Moon and kill the Kennedys, but we can't get rid of some rats?

That was pretty tasteless, RevEd.

Holy cow, RoCK! I got married in Marietta. It's quite pretty by the river, isn't it?

I am satisfied here in Florida for now, no harsh winters, beautiful beaches, a more relaxed pace of life, and not very crowded.

Rats are a threat to humans, so I don't really care if you kill them. Rat fishing sounds like a dangerous activity for a few reasons, but also because of the diseases that rats and their parasites carry such as leptospirosis. We need some kind of rat birth control, not poison

I don't think that poison is involved in rat fishing.

What we really need is for people to use their damned trash cans. With the lids. And to not put their trash out days before pickup. That is how we got rid of the rats in Detroit (they now infest the suburbs, leading to the only good piece of non-Red Wings related news Detroiters have had in a very long time).

from twitter:
baltimoresun"Give me a rat and I can tell you which side of town it's from." The psychology of Baltimore's rats.

Last night, I didn't get to sleep at all.

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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