What I learned from a Chinese fortune cookie
I came home from work tonight and fell on my face on the living room floor.
"You figure out dinner," I said to my husband.
Figuring out dinner on his part involved calling a Chinese carry out and ordering delivery. On the one hand, it wasn't very good; on the other, it was delivered. ...
So after dinner I broke my fortune cookie in two and was confronted with this fortune:
The days you work are the best days.
Isn't that depressing? I wanted it to say, "The Saturday you play doubles, get a massage, read the first chapter of the new sci-fi novel by Richard K. Morgan and go see Wolverine is the best day."
Even worse, the Learn Chinese word on the back of the fortune was eggplant, and the transliteration of the Chinese was qie (with an accent over the "e" and no "u") zi. They think I'm going to figure out how to pronounce it from that?
I ate my husband's cookie to get a better fortune. It was:
The situation is changeable, yet you cannot push the river.
I'm sure it's referring to work, but I just can't figure out what it means or what I should do about it. Does it mean change happens and you can't do anything about it? Or something more profound? (The Learn Chinese word, by the way, was "July," which also doesn't seem very useful.)
Comments
Better to submit than kick against the pricks. (Aeschylus).
Meaning: have a glass of wine.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 15, 2009 7:53 PM
I just finished reading a new Debra Ginsburg novel (The Grift) which deals , among many other topics, with these themes and the questions from those seeking psychic insight.
Probably a way better use of your time than a sci fi book. ;)
Oh yeah, the insight is that few pose let alone seek answers to such questions when they are otherwise too busy to be contemplating them.
"Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not."
You've clearly never read Richard K. Morgan. :-) EL
Posted by: MrRational | May 15, 2009 8:05 PM
I prescribe more sci fi. How about _Domesday Book_ by Connie Willis? Or any of the Vorkosigian Saga books by Lois McMaster Bujold.
For deep exhaustion, I recommend Terry Pratchett.
Posted by: Lissa | May 15, 2009 8:32 PM
In the interpretation I prefer, the days you do hard physical labor -- from gardening to building a bridge to painting the house ... and tennis, right? -- are the best days.
And for the love of protein, that fortune isn't a fortune. It's an aphorism. And a crappy one at that. And easily refuted by your description of a best day.
Posted by: jl | May 15, 2009 8:33 PM
Read a Jim Thompson novel. Your world will seem like a blessing compared to his. Brilliant. Pure genius. And I don't throw around compliments (do I, awesome BG?)
Try Savage Night (so so weird and compelling), The Killer Inside Me, Pop. 1280, The Getaway, The Grifters. Truly existential crime novels, on par with Dostoyevski. And short. The Coen brothers' movie No Country For Old Men owes a huge debt to Jim Thompson (IMHO).
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 15, 2009 8:57 PM
I think your fortune might be the Chinese version of a saying they have up on the ranch--"You can't wade in the same river twice."
Posted by: Bucky | May 15, 2009 9:10 PM
I would have said the same thing, once.
Posted by: John McIntyre | May 15, 2009 9:20 PM
I work at a chinese restaurant chain, the waitresses save the fortunes and at the end of the day try to make sentences and pronounce them in chinese, they don't have much esle going on.
Posted by: the baltimoron | May 15, 2009 9:21 PM
I ♥ this post.
Posted by: Gailor | May 15, 2009 10:10 PM
Bucky, is there a pre-Socratic philosopher lurking behind the aw shucks folksy facade?
Posted by: Harry Cletus | May 15, 2009 10:24 PM
There is another game where everyone reads their fortune but inserts the words "in bed" to them. It's silly but surprisingly funny. I'll let you do this on your own.
Posted by: Amanda.C | May 15, 2009 10:56 PM
You might find Robert Sheckley's Immortality Incorporated appropriate for your fortune cookie. Of course, it's 50's sci-fi....
Posted by: bra1nchild | May 15, 2009 10:56 PM
I am only accepting fortunes from from those little Dove dark chocolate squares in the red foil. Today my Dove fortune said, Eat more chocolate. I'm tellin' ya, these are the real deal.
Posted by: Eve | May 15, 2009 11:08 PM
I couldn't pass this up:
I came home from work tonight and fell on my face on the living room floor.
Happy Hour must have been a blast!
:-)
Posted by: PCB Rob | May 15, 2009 11:30 PM
As I've said before, "Life is a struggle."
Now, what did you dream after that dinner?
Posted by: Dahlink | May 16, 2009 7:18 AM
is there a pre-Socratic philosopher lurking behind the aw shucks folksy facade?
Nope. There's nothing behind the facade. I'm like a movie set.
Posted by: Bucky | May 16, 2009 8:21 AM
There is good tired and bad tired. Good tired is when you have worked yourself to exhaustion doing something you wanted to do. Bad tired is when it was doing something someone else wanted you to do. Harry Chapin said it better but I can't find the exact quote.
I believe you can't fight fate. Just when everything looks good the spinners remove the golden thread.
Posted by: Elite Elephant Lover | May 16, 2009 10:38 AM
Eve,
My fortune, from a Dove Blackberry Caramel (in the dark blue wrapper), says "Be your own Valentine." I didn't think they were that old.
Posted by: Retired in Elkridge | May 16, 2009 1:14 PM
....."HELP I am being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory"
Posted by: Hue | May 16, 2009 1:16 PM
I like the candy hearts that Despair.com makes, speaking of Valentines.
Posted by: Lissa | May 16, 2009 2:15 PM
Amanda C, as I learned growing up, that "in bed" game can also be silly fun when applied to the titles in a Protestant hymnal.
Posted by: KristinB | May 16, 2009 7:13 PM
Intriguing KristinB. Too bad I don't know any Protestant hymns or any hymns. Care to supply some?
Posted by: Amanda C | May 16, 2009 7:56 PM
Amanda C ... depending on how Protestant you think the Episcopal Church is, this might do Oremus Hymnal.
Posted by: MD Canon (On one last Trip to Garrett County) | May 16, 2009 9:42 PM
Thanks, Amanda. Now I can't get "Nearer My God to Thee" out of my head. In bed.
Posted by: Lissa | May 16, 2009 10:27 PM
Thank you MD Canon. As a former half-baked Catholic child I thought everything else was Protestant. My father called the Episcopal Church Catholicism for bankers. No offense intended.
Posted by: Amanda C | May 16, 2009 10:53 PM
Sitting in the hotel in McHenry, MD, with the Food Network on for noise, it turns out that a segment of "Unwrapped" tonight was all about fortune cookies from a firm called "Lady Fortune." They make really, really big fortune cookies!
Posted by: MD Canon (On one last Trip to Garrett County) | May 17, 2009 12:17 AM
Amanda C wrote My father called the Episcopal Church Catholicism for bankers. Would that this was still the case ... especially in this economy!
Posted by: MD Canon (On one last Trip to Garrett County) | May 17, 2009 12:24 AM
EL, getting back to your original post, I can recommend a really good acupuncturist for what ails you. I just had my regular treatment and I'm good for another 6 weeks.
Posted by: Dahlink | May 17, 2009 7:27 AM
I don't know any Protestant hymns or any hymns.
Amazing Grace
Oh, For a Thousand Tongues to Sing
Posted by: Eve | May 18, 2009 10:11 AM