I am wet with drool, Owlie.

Yours is the better title, because the mere suggestion of prohibition will draw people in. That reminds me of the time that people were doing the Lambada in a food court in the jungle in Brazil, but that's another post. Actually that should be one. Maybe.

Hmmm, just like the time I sent my son to his orthodox Jewish pre-school with a ham sandwich. No feral cats there though just feral children.

Ignatius J. Gravy

Oh Owl, you have such a way with words. I love your description of, well, just about anything!

This has left me speechless, perhaps because I'm trying so hard to stifle the laughter since I'm reading this at work. Except to say that I was just thinking about your final observation the other day, as I contemplated why it is that my dog's favorite snack is poop. Some truths are universal.

Yes, all animals are equal - except human animals. I'm glad they didn't "liberate" any feral lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my.

"... moist orts of rebellion..." sent me straight to Dictionary.com. What do you bet it shows up in the Crossword puzzle in the next two months?

I miss Sam.

Oh, I'm sorry, force of habit.

Unclear about which imagine I find more disturbing:

OMG's paraphilic proclivities: "Hot pastrami mommy!"

or, a new use for Billy Idol lyrics: "Warm, juicy, flesh for fantasy."

I suspect it's enough to make me go vegetarian for dinner tonight.

just like the time I sent my son to his orthodox Jewish pre-school with a ham sandwich.

Oh, Joyce, you didn't!

OMG's paraphilic proclivities: "Hot pastrami mommy!"

Oh silly Generalissimo. Pastrami just rhymes. There's nothing even slightly phallic about pastrami. Know your meats! 8>)

Did I write this and then rewrite it ten times to crank up the juicy metaphors?

Yes i did.

Was I happy with terms like Waffen-katzen?

Yes I was.

Am I going to speak in this manner from now on?

I hope not.

I am wet with drool, Owlie.

Whose?

"... moist orts of rebellion..."

I'm no John McIntyre or John Lindner, but I used to really like to do the NYT crossword when the Sun was 50 cents and "ort" is a classic crossword answer. I doubt that I've ever seen it elsewhere. Sorry. I really had a lot of fun crafting the words in this one and "moist orts of rebellion" really sings for me..

I had to come up with seven different way of saying "crazy cats". Great fun for me. And isn;t that what really counts?

Ignatius J. Gravy

I love you BG.

Ooops. Sorry it's been a brutal day. I read paraphilic as phallic. Sorry Generalissimo. I had to look that up too. Oh the orts of my shame! Consider this the most overwritten thing I've done lately. Deliciously so. I promise that the next one will be positively so normal that you'll think Garrison Keilor is working me like a Muppet. Really. Maybe. Sort of.

My drool, unfortunately, Owlie.

Hey, is it me, or are the comments posting immediately now? If so, man, are we gonna get out of hand!

Good catch on the Billy Idol song Genmo.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It more than makes up for being urinated upon all week at the other place.

There's no place like home, oh my.

Lissa,

Shhh...

Oh my god, that was fantastic. I've been lurking for a few months but I just wanted to say how crazy good that was.

You have really grown lately. You should have more confidence and bring us more stuff from your real life. Come on little owl, come out of your shell. I liked your lunch story and the thing that you did on the bar blog about your run-in with potential Nazi war criminals was bone chilling and yet beautiful. More please. ;-)

OMG: I think I've been reading you long enough to know when rhyme, meter, and alliteration are simply veils behind which you hide.

Also, the occasional tab of acid, apparently.

My own work drives me towards varying degrees of vegetarianism and unrepentant, gleeful, retrosexual carnivorism. I know the experience and sympathize.

It's helped me to understand the following:

Part of what makes food so democratic is that for all the ethical considerations, and distaste -- there's something of the hunter-gatherer in all of us, even the most devoted Hindu and vegan, that still craves the iron, that still desires the chewy texture. Natural selection drives it -- some of us are brave enough to fight it.

But most vegetarians I know still treat it like sobriety. Of course you may have fallen off the wagon yesterday, but today is what matters.

Owlie, that's one of the funniest things I've read for a LONG time! I LOVE your various references to the felines that cluttered your office - SO inventive! Keep it up, Hon, you're the "cat's pajamas" (derisive snort)!

It also occurs to me -- are you still unpacking my first post?

Geez. For as long as I've lurked, I'm almost ready to call up a restraining order. I can think of no one I'd be more honored to keep more than 200 feet away from me, at all times.

FWIW - this is among the most engaging and personally involving of your guest posts I've read, so kudos.

You are wise GenMo, Bravo. Seriously that's some damned good thinking.

Hi, ElaineB. Don't lurk, hon! It's more fun to participate.

lurk lurk

Yeah, join in the madness, ElaineB. It is fun and low carb!

OMG,
Barry Glaser - Attorney for the weak, injured, and urinated upon.

I don't believe a word of it, but it's a great yarn.

All true except the names. I have no imagination.

Here's an approximation of the cat in the cage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hPxGmTGarM&NR=1

Suuuuhweeeet. I know who you're talking about if this was in Baltimore. I had studio space next to those nutballs in the old broom factory on Boston St. Ha ha. I think the magazine was the Animal Rights Agenda. Lord Summer-Teeth? (summer here, summer there?). I forget his name, he was always trying to get me and my friends to join the cause. Sickly English guy always carrying a chihuahua. He used to complain to the vending machine guys about some candy bars like Bit-o-homey? Because honey production was like slavery. Whatev. It's hard to imagine someone working there who hadn't drunk the kool-ade.

Owl,
Great post! And please, re-write all you want for future posts, the final product is always a good read.

meow? NC

Thanks PCB. I always thought that was a great story but it was boring when I tried to tell it verbally. There's more to it, but I kept this one focussed on food.

Now if you would like to slake your thirst after this word meal try a Wrong Island Iced Tea at Midnight Sun. Feel free to leave creative abuse as a comment.

Here they are!
http://www.all-creatures.org/aro/nl-19990404-the.html

I like one of their quality articles called Don't Plants have Feelings Too?
http://www.all-creatures.org/aro/nl-19990404-don.html

Help me help me. Shhh.. Mr. Salad, it will all be over soon.

OMG, you have seriously outdone yourself. Keep it up, please! (& I have to duplicate that sandwich, even though I intend to eat it under far more civilized circumstances, with only one cat in attendance.

OMG, that cat in a cage was seriously upsetting to the kitties who live at my house. Hissssss!

Jeez did anyone other than Owlie get my Confederacy of Dunces reference? This post is total Ignatius.

And Owl is a modern Twain. You will see if he shares more like this. Picaresque at its finest.

Love you too, man.

Oh City Redux, that was a great sandwich forbidden or not. Mmm.... The warmness made it even better. A good sandwich should be a least the temperature of the woman you love.

BG, You know me better than anyone in the world, alma de mi corazón, so you have an unfair advantage. We have a mental connection that is positively unreal. I'm thinking of a two digit number. What is it? Think hard.

I was just being (a version of) me. John Kennedy Toole met with a sad end, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Monday's accidental special edition of the Weekly Owl is perhaps the most unusual of all. All me, no comedy, well, not much. (It's 27 but you knew that mi corazon)

You two are ridiculous. Just get married or something already. ;-)

Cookout on Monday!

We;'re good AC, but thanks. See you Monday.

Sorry for the interruption but you know that I always always have faith in you and this expresses it better than I can:

Faith here means confidence in something beautiful and true
that can bring about happiness and that we can actually touch.
– Thich Nhat Hanh

You my love are my living Pascal's wager. Sweet dreams.

Well, BG, of course we got the Confederacy of Dunces reference--one of my Favorite Books of All Time!

Well, I didn't get the Confederacy of Dunces reference. Lousy public school education, always making me fell like a...well, like a dunce.

That being said, I was just reading some bits of that book, and I will absolutely go pick up a copy.

I read it once in college. It's one of the few books that mae me laugh out loud. Picaresque? I guess you coulod say that about CoD. Why they haven't made it into a movie is beyond me. I don't have BG's freakish memory for text, I tend to remember concepts better. I basically remember him with a hot dog cart and working for an outift called Levy Pants. Levy, not Levi.

Uh, what's for breakfast?

OH MY GOD! This is on PETA's web site. It is part of Ingrid Newkirk's (PETA Pres.) will. "Human barbecue" caught my eye.
_______________________________

1. Upon my death, it is my wish that my body be used in a manner that draws attention to needless animal suffering and exploitation. To accomplish this, I direct that my body be donated to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), 501 Front Street, Norfolk, Virginia 23510, to be used in whatever manner it chooses in order to accomplish the specified purpose, with the hope that most of my body will be put to use in the United States, with parts also dispatched to awaken the public consciousness of governments and citizens in the United Kingdom, where I was born, in India, my beloved childhood home, and in Canada, Germany, and France.

2. While the final decision as to the use of my body remains with PETA, I make the following suggested directions:

a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed;

b. That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed, and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year to serve as a reminder of the government’s need to abate the suffering of Indian bullocks who, after a life of extreme and involuntary servitude, as I have seen firsthand, are exported all over the world in this form;

c. That in remembrance of the elephant-foot umbrella stands and tiger rugs I saw, as a child, offered for sale by merchants at Connaught Place in Delhi, my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them, as a reminder of the depravity of killing innocent animals, such as elephants, in order that we might use their body parts for household items and decorations;

d. That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching the agency until it stops poisoning and torturing animals in useless and cruel experiments; that the other is to be used as PETA sees fit;

e. That my pointing finger be delivered to Kenneth Feld, owner of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, or to a circus museum to stand as the “Greatest Accusation on Earth” on behalf of the countless elephants, lions, tigers, bears, and other animals who have been kidnapped from their families and removed from their homelands in India, Thailand, Africa, and South America and deprived of all that is natural and pleasant to them, abused, and forced into involuntary servitude for the sake of cheap entertainment;

f. That my liver be vacuum-packed and shipped, in whole or in part, to France, to there be used in a public appeal to persuade shoppers not to support the vile practice of force-feeding geese and ducks for foie gras;

g. That one of my ears be removed, mounted, and sent to the Canadian Parliament to assist them in hearing, for the first time perhaps, the screams of the seals, bears, raccoons, foxes, and minks bludgeoned, trapped, and sometimes skinned alive for their pelts; that the other ear be removed, preserved, and displayed outside the Deonar abattoir in Mumbai to remind all who do business there that the screams of the cattle who are slaughtered within its walls are heard around the world;

h. That one of my thumbs be removed, mounted upwards on a plaque, and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, PETA decides has done the most to promote alternatives to the use and abuse of animals in any area of their exploitation;

i. That one of my thumbs be mounted in a downward position and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, has gone against the changing tide of societal opinion and frightened and hurt animals in some egregious manner;

j. That a little part of my heart be buried near the racetrack at Hockenheim, preferably near the Ferrari pits, where Michael Shumacher raced in and won the German Grand Prix;

k. That anything else be done with my body that PETA believes will serve to draw attention to and so abate the plight of exploited animals.
http://www.peta.org/feat/newkirk/will.html

Apparently there has been talking of doing a CoD movie for thirty years, but it never seems to get off the ground.

I did find a small scene acted out on You Tube that is pretty good.

CoD has been in development Hell for almost thirty years:
http://www.slate.com/id/2155500/

Did anyone notice the ghost of Momofuku, inventor of instant ramen, in the photo?

I don't know if I have any other funny stories. My life is pretty uneventful.

it is a hard movie to make. too easy to screw it up with bad acting or bad writing.

hey amanda is your hubby grilling oysters? I am bringing brats, ribs, and corn for the grill, plus dill potato salad.

omg I hate that quote by the way. by definition faith is untouchable.

BG, you're thinking of Catholic faith. That's Buddhist faith – something for the real world. I love that quote because it always makes me think of you my muse. The present is all I know and I'm tired of wasting it. I don't want to wait until I'm dead to be happy. That's a bad wager. Happiness is right here, right now all around us. Sieze it wiith me.

The article makes a good point about how monstrously bad the movie Catch-22 was. Comedy is harder to do than drama. Satire really really hard.

Catholic faith (it's all I really know) is the desire for happiness and desire is the source of suffering in Buddhism (which is NOT a religion).. Make your life and those around you better now. It's all we have, Well, it's what we have.

Let's get all picaresque.

oh come on now OMG you know I was a philosophy major. and buddhist faith is no less ephemeral than catholic faith. that is why I hate that quote. it is a distortion of all faith, which is a leap into the rational unkown and cannot, by definition, be empirical in nature, as that quote suggests.

sometimes people believe their faith is confirmed by the empirical. but faith is not an empirical enterprise.

help me out here MD Canon

All good BG. I love dill. Never had it in potato salad. You know my lesser half, ■|:o) will be strutting his macho cro-mag grill skills including grilled oysters and some "surprise" item. Let's pin OM and force him to try an oyster! Girls will rule on Monday.

That's right I'm calling you out you faux-gourmand raptor. Never even tried an oyster. Lapsed Catholic guilt-shame on you!

a leap into the rational unkown

Game, set, match. "irrational unknown"? Really.

Faith MEANS something diifferent in Buddhism as the quote shows. There is nothing unknowable about it. That's the point. You can't define Buddhist terms by Christian (Catholic) theology.

You're all squishy. There is no empirical in the quote. That definiton of Buddhist faith is not ephemeral (you're using the wrong word there. Use all your words sweetheart)

Zen Buddhism is not all about the irrational, the beyond, the unknowable. It's only about the present and that's what it means to be able to touch something or someone. How could you possibly misconstrue the concrete aspect of that?

Perhaps the shadows of voodoo Catholcism

MD Canon has church in the morning; I doubt he's still up.

I don't have church in the morning, and I'm not sure why I'm still up.

But since I’m up, I would agree that faith is not empirical. Why would anyone need faith for something that can be proven? Do we have faith in gravity?

Now sometimes what can be proven can be nebulous, particularly when things are proven with logic or reason as opposed to observation. Even in these cases the proof is not determined by faith. If it were demonstrated that the logic or reason was flawed, the person would change his view. However, if it were a matter of faith, the demonstration of flawed thought would not matter. The person would continue to hold his view because he intrinsically believed it to be true.

____ means confidence in something beautiful and true that can bring about happiness and that we can actually touch.

Remove the word that means different things to people from different backgrounds.

That's all about you to me. How can you hate that? It's all you. You're part of my enlightenment. Deal with it. B>)

Oh my non-deity!

Perhaps a better way to express Thich Nhat Hanh's term of faith would be knowing trust. My feelings toward BG are utterly irrational as are all human emotions, but we can know in different ways via empirical observation and/or in this case my intuitive understanding of her. That is not empirical nor it is not irrational either. In my mind, my intuitive understanding of BG is as real as any sense observation and a hundred times more valuable and meaningful.

Some things are beyond the current understanding of empirical "science".

Jesus Christ, I was just trying to pay you a compliment. B>)

Go
to
bed
boys
and
girls.

Enough foreplay.

P.S. I hope the brats you're bringing are not your nieces and nephews. ;-)

OMG you are right, in my drunken vacation haze I used the wrong word.... yikes! I meant ethereal not ephemeral....e words... it happens when you are so close to the equator as I am right now...

still hate that quote and hope to never ever see it again. it's close to jack handy or lifetime channel. your words are much better

You just don't get it. Well you will never hear that sentiment in any form from me again Discussion over. What a sweet victory this must be for you.

Jeez, I am so sorry, I just realized that your last sentence was quite nice. I just always thought others' words were superior to mine I'm so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid me. Christ you always win. i just didn't think i could lose a one man contest to idealize you. Brava.Perhaps this is not the proper venue. Just maybe

Well, we watched "Doubt" the other night, which ties in quite nicely with this discussion.

Kinda hard following along on this thread. Way too many deep thoughts, Jack Handy style.

Perhaps BG or Owl will update us on the party at VoodooPork and Amanda's tomorrow?

Owl, I don't eat oysters much, but try one. They aren't that bad...

Oysters, yuk. I never said i was a gourmand, just marginally awesome.

Beware of "philosophy" written after midnight on Saturday or anything time-stamped 3:14 a.m. Glug glug.

Owl,
you are way more the gourmand than I, with all that lactobacilli stuff you have goin' on.

Do you think there might be some "philosopher juice" in the tasty ales? Maybe there is, but it only activates after midnight.

So, where's the update on the grilled oysters, wherever that was first mentioned, but at least I found reference to the invite to the Cookout on Monday.

LEC, See my post on tood on sticks etc. for the chaos that is my for a report from Zelda

Going back a l-o-o-n-g way: meow, is "Bit-o-homey" like Soylent Green for Locavores?

LEC I sent you to the wrong place. BG's picnic report is on the Harborque post. Sorry.