Funtastic new products from Owl Meat Labs
I have just one question for you, Owl Meat: Where do we sign up for these investment opportunities? EL
I woke up this morning after having a weird dream. Due to some court-ordered arrangement the band Queensrÿche was living with me.
Weird because I know absolutely nothing about them except for the inexplicable umlaut. I think they are from the 80s. I think about some distinctive keyboard sounds from then like the Farfisa or the ubiquitous Hammond B-3. That made me think of the keyboard sound from "99 Luftballons" and I wondered who invented the balloon.
Then I thought about filling balloons with flavor gas, and then I actually went to the U.S. Patent Office website which leads us to today's post. ...
Here at Owl Meat Labs we are constantly staring off into the distance, urrh, scanning the horizon for new trends and products.
USPTO Application #: 20080317906
Beverage bottle and a method of operating the same
... the beverage including a light-sensitive additive which has an original color and under the action of radiation, changes its original color to a different color, and a device associated with the container and configured to generate a radiation which acts on the additive and to change the original color of the additive and therefore of the beverage to a different color.
USPTO Application #: 20080317911
Oral pouch product including soluble dietary fibers
The oral pouch product is filled with a botanical material. The oral pouch product is placed in the mouth to release the soluble dietary fibers directly into the user's mouth. [No idea!]
USPTO Application #: 20080317910
Microfoamed fruit or vegetable puree [Mmm... fooooaaamy]
USPTO Application #: 20080317930
Creamy wine-based beverage
A creamy wine-based beverage comprises a mixture of the following ingredients: a blend of dairy vegetable cream base, beet sugar, fermented wine and sodium caseinate.
USPTO Application #: 20080317914
Food grade ink jet inks for printing on edible substrates
USPTO Application #: 20080305207
Method of producing artificially sweetened wine
USPTO Application #: 20080311275
Alcohol-containing wasabi
In my mind I'm already doing wasabi shots, printing some foie gras, and buying lady cyborgs glasses of Nuvo Beaujolac that changes color near my Polonium mood ring. And then we dance.
Comments
EL, I will send you an envelope. Take all your unwanted or broken gold jewelry and send it to me. I will invest it for you.
I would do that in a second if I had any gold jewelry. EL
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Geekitude | March 12, 2009 11:48 AM
Or send me all your used peanut hulls. I just discovered a gold mine:
Method and system for producing peanut hull flour
USPTO Application #: 20090047411
Abstract: In accordance with at least one exemplary embodiment, a method and system of producing peanut hull flour is disclosed. The peanut hull flour can be fit for human consumption as, for example, a food-grade fiber additive. In an exemplary embodiment, a peanut hull mass (or supply) can be treated with an oxidizing solution such as a 3-70% hydrogen peroxide solution for one or more minutes to twelve hours.
Hydrogen peroxide? This sounds like Milo Minderbinder's chocolate covered cotton balls. I imagine the inventor stroking a white cat as he says "exemplary embodiment".
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Geekitude | March 12, 2009 11:58 AM
I brought back my little buddy at Bourbon Girl's request. Slainte!
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Geekitude | March 12, 2009 12:12 PM
The banana dude looks like he wants to tap dance with me...
Posted by: Stacy | March 12, 2009 12:23 PM
Owl, here is something you can use for your official correspondence.
Posted by: Cosmo Girls | March 12, 2009 12:24 PM
Creamy wine? Gack!
Done right, wasabi liquor could take over Jager bombs as the drink of choice amongst those who like to end their evenings comatose.
Posted by: PCB Rob | March 12, 2009 1:01 PM
You want it all but you can't have it.
Posted by: Lissa | March 12, 2009 1:30 PM
Lissa:
It's in your face but you can't grab it
Posted by: YumPorchetta | March 12, 2009 3:09 PM
It's alive, afraid, a lie, a sin
It's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss, it's a win
It's dark, it's moist, it's a bitter pain
It's sad it happened and it's a shame
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Event Horizon Party Planner | March 12, 2009 3:45 PM
*highfives YP*
*Does the Hustle to Queensrÿche with OMG*
Posted by: Lissa | March 12, 2009 5:37 PM
Maybe I should have put the effort into getting my mascot to dance now that EL can post gif files. Maybe next week. That sounds like a totally pointless use of my time.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Resident of Dudeville | March 12, 2009 6:04 PM
*clinks glasses with Lissa, and brings out the electric kazoo and cowbell*
...Monkey men all
In business suit
Teachers and critics
All dance the poot...
Posted by: YumPorchetta | March 12, 2009 6:45 PM
Don't know about the rest, but they've been using the edible ink jet inks for a while to make those custom cakes with your picture on it.
exemplary embodiment
Ain't Patent Office language great.
Posted by: Retired in Elkridge | March 12, 2009 10:18 PM
I've experimented with a lot of homemade infused vodkas over the years, but never wasabi. It doesn't seem wise. My favorite: kumquat infused vodka. I had an infused vodka tasting party once that went about the way you would expect.
The whole infused vodka experimentation process inevitably leads to bad judgement and drunk dialing. I did achieve the Holy Grail of infused vodkas with my Thai vodka: fresh lemon grass, ginger, kafir lime leaves, lime. Mmmm... delicious. Where am I?
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Wasabatini | March 12, 2009 10:36 PM
OMG,
I read over on Sam's blog that someone made bacon infused vodka. Yum!:-)
Posted by: RayRay | March 13, 2009 8:35 AM
Exexplary embodiment ... yes the ptanet language is both turgid and turbid, perhaps trugibid, when it should be the essence of clarity. I edited the descriptions to get rid of most of the confusing excess language.
The approved patents are sometimes better written. The patent for esterized vitamin C is great. It shows clearly that the process increases the blood levels of the vitamin for a given quantity. Now that's patent worthy. Alcoholized wasabi? Uh, couldn't we all make that?
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy 2 – Wasabatini | March 13, 2009 9:36 AM