Let them eat chocolate...with hemp seeds
One of the three stores where I was doing my coming-home-from-a-trip shop had bite-size blind samples of what I could tell were high-quality chocolate bars. I tried three different ones. The first two were -- I can think of no other way to describe them -- mildly unpleasant. ...
The third was so good in comparison, I bought a bar of it. I was in a rush, and it wasn't until I got home that I realized I had paid $7.99 for 3 ounces of chocolate.
I ask the salesperson who was putting out the samples what they were, and the three flavors were mushroom, green tea and hemp.
Guess which one I bought.
Actually, I've had Kirchmayr's chocolate with green tea and it's quite good. I don't know why this one didn't work for me. The bar I bought was milk chocolate with roasted and salted macadamia nuts, Indonesian coconut and hemp seeds.
Not to worry. The only buzz I got was the little voice that kept saying, "$7.99, $7.99" in my head.
There are actually directions on the back of the bar on how to enjoy an exotic candy bar using all five senses. I won't bore you with all five, but here's an example: "Break the bar in two pieces. Hear a crisp, ringing pop, which indicates a well-tempered bar of chocolate. You will hear the loudest snap with dark chocolate, a soft break with milk, and a faint whisper with white."
Unfortunately the "$7.99, $7.99" voice drowned out the snap when I tried it.
Anyway, this is the first chocolate bar I've ever had that suggests it will "provide softer skin, stronger nails and thicker hair. Shine inside and out." There is a disclaimer: "None of these statements have been evaluated by the FDA."
I bet not.
I haven't eaten any of the chocolate yet. But maybe I wouldn't be being so snippy if I had.