FACT: Culver’s Butter Burgers are 80% better than In&Out. Look it up.

FACT: I don't eat meat and I love their burgers.

FACT: I have never been west of Catonsville.

INFERENCE: What does "homemade" mean in this context?

CONCLUSION!

I think the blog is making me evil again. Or maybe it was because my mother didn't work. Inference: a pork chop sandwich is delightful.

in-n-out rocks. They own their own farms. Fresh cut fries and Double Doubles. A real hamburger stand. The only vanilla is in their shakes.

Perhaps Bucky has dined at a Culver's? Is that chain in TBRS?

I'm wondering about these Butter Burgers. If, like a filet mignon, butter is melted on top of the burger as it is finished, then I'm not sure I'd be a big fan. I could just hear my arteries hardening. But it could be a once-in-a-great-while guilty pleasure.

I think Hadley Paige is having an influence on Owl's posting style.

EL, looking at the Culver's map, there should be several around where Gailor is going to school.

I don't think of Kansas as being the Midwest. What would I know, though?

Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth (he says, shaking his head.) I try to have your back on this stuff...

From 8/19/08:

Today I won a gift card to Culver's Butter Burgers for making the 300th comment on another blog I frequent. I didn't think anything could top that.

But now I find out there's a plant in Bourbon Girl's office named after me.

(He starts weeping...)

I am touched. Touched, I tell you.

What's a Butter Burger? EL

Posted by: Rob't from TBRS | August 19, 2008 9:06 PM

And...

EL asks, "What's a butter burger?"

What a timely question, Elizabeth.

Culver's Butter Burgers is fresh, tasty food served up with a great big side of nice, as you will see here.

Why a timely question? Because you and the younger Ms. Gailor are headed deep into Culver Country on Thursday.

I dare you. I double-dog dare you.

BTW, congratulations. EL

Posted by: Rob't from TBRS | August 19, 2008 9:51 PM

(Note: the "here" was a link to the Culver's site.)

Culver's Butter Burgers are decent. They do not beat an In-N-Out Double-Double.

(Culver's does have two advantages that I can think of however: they have great custard and they will build a restaurant in Baltimore before In-N-Out does.)

August, Bucky? That was an eon ago in blog years. Of course I didn't remember. EL

I wouldn't bet on them building here before In-N-Out. there's been a lot of feuding in the in-n-out family, and it sounds like the grandchild, once she (i think she) gets full control will start franchising. I'm worried what franchising will do to the quality and yumminess of what makes in-n-out, in-n-out.

I knew I had seen Culver Butter Burger mentioned before, I just forgot that it was Bucky and that he was extolling the virtues of the place.

Just had a random thought. How about a Best Burgers Across the USA post? Then people could refer to it if traveling to certain area. Like a town called Two Egg, not too far from me.

I have to smile when I think of my dear sweet mother ordering her In-N-Out burger "animal style.'"

attgig - I'm conflicted about that. I'd love to have an In-N-Out here. It can be done. A Five Guys opened here not long ago...a franchise...and is very good. If they lost anything in the franchising, the originals must be great.

still waiting on Elevation Burger in Harbor East... looks nowhere near Open.

Comment 1: I have always been amused that the English Royal Family are card-carrying (actually, "Head-of-the-Church") Anglicans when they are in England, but instantly become faithful members of the Church of Scotland (Presbyterians) when they are at Balmoral. Perhaps when one is in California, the best burgers are from In-and-Out, but when one is in the heartland, the best burgers are Culver BB's. Please note that this is an existential claim, not a reflection on availability. And please note that I am wondering, not declaring.

Comment 2: If there was a Maid-Rite within 50 miles I would choose to go there over either Culver BB or and I-&-O. It's not just about the beef it's about the seasonings.

Comment-cum-confession 3: the truth is that I haven't had a hamburger of any sort in a Baltimore restaurant in years and years. The solutions available to the parallel equations involving taste, cost and cholesterol just don't put a hamburger high on the list. If there were a small local place grinding the beef fresh to order that might change things, but there doesn't seem to be on near my close-to-JHU office. The gold standard here is New Haven's Louis Lunch, and that's mighty high.

Sidebar to OMG: thank you for helping to clarify the Latin conjugation of the verb "blog." It is clearly not a second or fourth but I am unclear about whether it is first or third, since they are identical in the first person singular. No doubt we are all pretty free about substituting the shortened form "blog" for the longer form, but I would like to be sure that the proper infinitive is "blogitare" as opposed to "blogitere" (just so that I don't make a huge second or third person plural mistake talking about a future group blogging party).

I don't plan to visit Olathe, Kansas in my lifetime,

Nor I, in mine!

I don't know...sometimes I think MD Canon might be Prof. McIntyre. Or vice versa.

Hmmm...the Rev. Owl Meat Grammarian. (Or, maybe, the Rt. Rev. - I'm unclear on that, too.

My favorite fast food burger remains White Castle. However, I have eaten at In N Out and was not at all impressed. Maybe the restaurants in San Diego are just not as good as the rest of CA. The best thing about Culver's is the choice of side dishes. I love a double butter burger with a two piece fried chicken dinner as my side. My wife loves the pot roast sandwich. And the onion rings are really good too.

"I don't plan to visit Olathe, Kansas in my lifetime".

"Nor I, in mine"!

Hey, where did this hatin' on Kansas come from? I haven't read the blog for a week - what's up with this?

I grew up in Kansas - not proud, nor ashamed. Just a fact.

Don't feel bad. I was born in Oklahoma City. EL

I had my mine blown at my first In'n'OUt and was not at all impressed with the butter burger. I mean I think the butterburger's name is the best thing going for it. The best burger I've had is a Super Healthburger, it is awesome, and no I don't expect anyone else but me to have had one of those, and yes awesome. Especially with a Dr. Pepper, and their fries. Excuse me while I find a corner to weep in.

MD Canon, the Queen is head of both churches, so the solution you mention is most practical. Besides, aren't the Anglicans and the Presbyterians in communion? (Yes, I'm aware the Anglicans aren't in communion with themselves anymore).

I've been to Olathe. It is better than you'd think Kansas would be, but it isn't somewhere I'd want to live. Suburbs are all too much the same everywhere.

MD Canon - not much on ordering burgers out myself, but Brewers Art has one of the best burgers I've ever had!

I lived in Illinois for three years; my wife lived in Michigan for three years...neither of us have ever heard of Culver's. Maybe Illinois and Michigan just ain't "midwest" enough.

As for In-and-Out...I finally tried one last time I was in Phoenix. Meh. Perfectly acceptable; definitely blows away McD, BK, etc. But why the cult status?

Then again, maybe it's just me - I'm imminently unimpressed with places like Fat Burger, Five Guys, Cheeseburger Cheeseburger...I'd much rather have a burger made at a diner or even a Fridays or Ruby Tuesday!

Dr.Pepper = carbonated prune juice.

Eve, prune juice & tonic, that should settle the stomach. Another addition to the gack list.

BURGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I eat them!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diggin the burger craaaaaaaze.

Check out the Counter Burger sometime- super fun concept. None in MD yet :(

http://www.thecounterburger.com/

Rebs - The Counter has arrived here where I am and is quickly becoming a favorite burger place for many of my friends.

If we're talking best burgers across the US (as suggested above), Burgerville wins for the Pacific Northwest, and Arctic Roadrunner is the clear winner in Alaska.

The Counter's burger of the week (month, day whatever) is a MD style crab cake!! LMAO! No matter how good their burgers are, I can only imagine what their crab cake is like (onions and green peppers?). BTW, Baltimore, MD is in their list of coming soon.

I came in late, so here goes:

MD Canon, all this talk about first, second, third, and other persons plus infinitives and plurals brings to mind the old "Scrod" joke. Perhaps better told by Prof. McIntyre. And we have a blogging party right here, every day. We've also had a few bloggers parties.

Rebs and Joyce, to me a crab cake sandwich is a counter burger (As in counter-culture).

Lissa, regarding Olathe the proper quote seems to be "There's not a lot of there there."

Eve, had a friend a number of years ago who worked for Dr. Pepper and he would swear up and down that there is NO prune juice in Dr. Pepper. Didn't stop us from mentioning it every once in a while just to see his reaction.

Joyce,
And that MD style crab cake is topped with Bacon Cole Slaw!

I do like their idea though, a build-your-own option.

RiE - I heard the "scrod" joke long, long ago. Somehow, I doubt McI will tell it, but I laugh in anticipation!

Kansas is definitely Midwest. And Olathe is boring. And Kansas isn't for burgers ... it's for BBQ. Gates BBQ ... yummmmmmmmmmmm ...[drool shorts out keyboard]

If the punchline of the aforementioned joke involves the phrase "pluperfect subjunctive" I'm not sure it will meet with the editor's approval.

I think that's a confirmation, not in the sacramental sense. If that's a confirmation, Prof., give me a sign.

For the record (at least the record according to Wikipedia), while the Queen is Supreme Governor of the Church of England, she is simply a member of the Church of Scotland (the Scottish Presbyterians, aka The Kirk), which, while the national church of Scotland, is not the established state church in those parts. Also, the Church of England is in communion with the Scottish Episcopal Church, but not with the Kirk (which does not recognize the primacy of the Archbishop of Canterbury).

Ah, thanks, hmpstd. I'm obviously not up on my Protestant sects. My fundie Episcopalian father had the Presbyterians on his list of "acceptable churches if there is no One True Church around". He also thought the Queen was the head of everything. I really should know better than to take anything he said seriously by now.

Hard to take any religion seriously that was started by Henry VIII.

Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.

Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.

What IS with all the Kansas-hatin? I think everyone here just has to pipe in about how East-Coast cultured they are by proclaiming they have no idea or any intention of ever finding out about Olathe. Olathe by the way is on the Kansas side of Kansas City. Its a suburb. Dont tell people in Kansas that they dont know about beef.
I had to unplug a cars engine block to drive to get a bite to eat from the airports FBO,
BTW Im Baltimore born and bred! And I still dont see what the big deal is about In-N-Out burgers.

What IS with all the Kansas-hatin?

Agreed. I'm at the point of know return. I heard the men saying something. The captains tell they pay you well and they say they need sailing men to show the way, and leave today. Was it you that said, "How long, how long?"

I don't hate Kansas.

kansas kicked you out of the band. you should hate them. i guess it's hard to be a vengeful kazoo player.

"Pluperfect subjunctive" is the punchline of that joke as I've heard it.

Three things:

1. It is not grammatically accurate.

2. I will not be telling the joke at You Don't Say.

3. I am not MD Canon.

The "scrod" joke that I was referencing involved a Boston cabdriver.

In what has to be a textbook example of "irony," because I've never heard the "scrod joke" and since Prof. McIntyre stated he wasn't going to offer it in an upcoming "Surely You Jest," I was forced to consult Wikipedia.

Here is the scrod joke.

You will need to scroll down a little.

That's the one.

Nothing ruins a good joke more than grammatical exactitude.

Thanks Bucky! But Wikipedia?

Eve, wasn't Lissa a Boston cabdriver?

That's the gist of it, although the punchline was somewhat different. (I can't imagine the person who told it all those years ago saying "pluperfect yada yada")

Aha! John McIntyre admits Wikipedia is right about something!

Oh, sorry Bucky, now I get the irony. Missed it the first read through. Good work Silverjack.

Dahlink, I have a feeling that the Prof.'s and my comments were in the same update cycle and he was referring to Eve's post.

10-4, Laura Lee. Keep the shiny side up and I'll catch you on the flip-flop.

Laura Lee, yes, I was. I found I got better tips if I didn't recite Beowulf in Anglo-Saxon, Chaucer in Middle English or explain why so-called irregular verbs in Modern English are really quite regular, if you are aware of the behaviour of strong class 6 verbs in Anglo-Saxon and weak class 3 verbs.

It seems like merely a few months ago that Laura Lee timidly entered the sloppy slpstream of this slithering slop shack. Amd lo she is, well I have to admit I am a but a bit smitten, the queen of the realm. Clever and playful, literate and silly, sweet and sour, hell it's all good. And she is/was the number one fan of the Owl Meat Apocrypha. She gets it

That's my platonic love letter to Laura Lee. (I hope you're not an old dude).

Re: OMGII + Laura Lee:
Bourbon Girl, you'd better get back here and defend your turf.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...

In -N- Out burgers are KILLER! Just ask Donny Kerabatsos... he died of a heart attack shortly after eating one!

Reckon this:

There's only one queen of the realm - Springs1!!!
No, of course I mean Blog Mistress EL, without whom we would all just be figments of our own imagination. Though repeatedly pushed to the brink with topic drift, in-jokes, self-referential comments, comments about comments on other posts, comments about comments on other blogs, EL presides as the unflappable hostess of this Masqued Ball.

Kate, no worries for Bourbon Girl. Who could possibly compete with monkey bread? Anyway, my heart still belongs to RtSO.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. That's Bucky.

Professor McIntyre will forever have the last full measure of my devotion.

Fact: I learn at least three new things per week from Lissa.

My secret fantasy would be to have Dahlink as my next-door neighbor.

It's safe to say that Trixie is the most genial newcomer to our community.

Doesn't everybody breathe a sigh of relief when MD Cannon enters the room? And don't we all fasten our seat belts a little tighter when jl takes us out for a spin?

Florida Rob knows more of the great Baltimore places than those who live here do.

Whenever the comments taper off we can count on Joyce W. to rally the troops.

Mr. Gorelick: The Spice Company was a perfect spot for solo diners but it is now closed. It will not re-open at 6 o'clock.

Dawn, between the $95 dinner and the semi-precious still water, this will be a Restaurant Week to remember! Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

It's time to climb up on the roof ceramic kitty.

Laura Lee observes No, of course I mean Blog Mistress EL, without whom we would all just be figments of our own imagination.

Wait...what if we are all just EL's imaginary friends? Then, in a way, we would all be Owlie.

Oh, wow--Laura Lee is first with breaking news. I wondered if she was perhaps mistaken about the Spice Company, but I checked with Open Table, which still has it listed as the 9th most romantic restaurant, and it says it is "currently unavailable." What happened--does anyone know?

And Laura Lee---I would love to have you in my neighborhood! We could get that foodie book club going at last!

Or Owlie would be all of us.

Bucky, speak for yourself. I know that I am not Owlie. I hope you are not any kind of imaginary figment!

Monkey bread! I forgot about that. BG remains my one and only, even with the
monkey bread.

Due to LL's encouragement I'm starting up my blog again.

Oh, be still my heart. I'd even leave Book in the car if Ms Laura Lee were my dinning companion. I think I'll prop up a printout of a LL comment across the table, in a few days, when I blow out the candle on my Bday cupcake (probably Grauls, though I may try Eddie's. Sorry, nothing from Rosebud Cakes this year. At least there is alwayts the archive.)

Laura Lee, you are too kind.

If I were an extrovert, I would suggest a D@L dining lottery, where sandboxers got randomly set up in pairs or small groups to eat somewhere.

But, I'm not .

(Had a very nice tuna sandwich at the mini-Dogwood in the WIE today. With a tad more lemon in the lemon dill tuna salad and fresher bread, it would have been an excellent sandwich. I also liked how there is space between the tables, and I wanted to steal 80% of the cookbooks on the shelf.)

Thank you Laura Lee!

Even though I'm far away, I still consider myself a Baltimorean and always will.

Bird, I thought of you and laughed at McD's this weekend....I ordered coffee and the cinnamon thing which was suspiciously like Monkey Bread.

Why, thank you Laura Lee! Coming from you, that is truly a great compliment!

Laura Lee ... Bless you!
(That's Official!)

Culvers is disgusting and over priced. Thin, greasy burgers that taste like they were frozen 6 months ago. Custard that tastes like old eggs about to go bad. Everything taste fried or microwaved.

Credit loan spam @ 8:36!

Hey, Shill Rowlanderma, you should be ashamed to be shilling what is surely, spam and a chance for people who are in truly dire straights to become homeless thanks to your link.

They're called "Butter Burgers" because the cooks at Culver's spread butter on the bun before they toss it on the grill.