When my grandmother passed away, food was sort of haphazard. She was a fantastic cook, and that couldn't be replaced. I remember the funny thing that everyone brought, Berger cookies!

I have a friend that shows up to our friends' homes when they've lost a loved one and gives a bottle of single malt scotch. He says they'll need it after putting up with the out-of-town relatives during the whole viewing, funeral and (if applicable) will/estate debacle that ensues.

I've always showed up with casseroles or pot roast or a brisket, but if you aren't having 400 people coming from out of town for the funeral, the fancy pastries would be so much better.

That was a very thoughtful gift.

I'm from East Texas, where chocolate pie (with MERINGUE!) is what you take when someone dies. My grandmother died in October. There were only 3 chocolate pies (because the ladies that used to make all of them died already...). My cousin ate a whole pie himself.

I actually have the recipe for the "death pie" but the only time you can serve it unrelated to a funeral is on a holiday. The last time I made it on a whim for my birthday, somebody died. I didn't know the person, but it was a big deal.... and to me it meant I caused it to happen by making the pie.

I'm only crazy on occasion.

One of my very favorite books is "The Pat Conroy Cookbook." He writes about all sorts of occasions and the chapter about funeral food is especially poignant. It references something called Newberry macaroni and barbequed shrimp. There are other chapters about oyster roasts and wedding food and much more. The stories that go with the recipes are familiar to anyone who grew up on the south.

Mary Roby, I'm a Yankee born and bred, and I was raised to take food, too.

We have manners in the North, too.

Lissa - I don't think Mary Roby was saying anything about northerners' manners; it seems to me she was only noting that Southerners will appreciate the stories that go along with the recipies in the book she mentioned, the stories being something they would recognize from their life/time in The South, in the same way midwesterners would appreciate stories from Garrison Keillor.

I am from the midwest and the south. People take food in both places. I imagine people take food everywhere all over the world.

I love the idea of the original post, though - it seems more comfort food for the grieving than the usual large amount of food to help serve visiting family, etc. Thanks to EL's colleague for a great idea about how to be of good service to a grieving friend.