Two thoughts: please ask the Moms. We haven't had any fun with them since the last time the topic of little darlings having a right to disrupt other dinners in expensive restaurants. Second, since the picture on the left is the real Santa, your picture, on the right, leads me to the conclusion that either you or Mutil-media etc. jl is the other's evil twin. Its also possible that you are each the evil twin. Ho, ho, ho.

I think you should just break into tears and run away when kids act rude in front of their giggling parents.

Oh, yeah!! Let's hear those whiny Moms go to it on this one! Betcha 3 out of 4 posts will defend the giggling mom.

Givie it a rest, Bird! Malls are in the suburbs!

No! Bucky should grow his beard long enough to braid, Hollywood Viking style, then he should dye the braids different colours. You know, purple, green, red...

Buckey, are you a FOB? I think your hat shows you are.

or, he could cut his hair in layers and twist! Beard too.

Sorry to spoil your fun, but this mom thinks you were right. Giggling while your child pokes somebody is not cool.

Giggling while your child pokes somebody is not cool.

Unless it is your ex-husband. Or ex-wife.

Bucky,
You should answer the next twerpy kid with a reply that might have come from Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa.

Still, you might want to keep the red flannel shirts in your closet this month.

Shame on that child for poking you because you look like Santa Claus!

Of course, if the kid was poking you because you're a Broncos fan, I side with the kid.

If a child pokes an adult whilst said child's parent stands giggling, the pokee(e) has every rite to poke the parent. And hard.

The real Bucky is the one on the left.

PLEASE, it's a lot better than having people always thinking you're Matthew McConaughey and always having them asking you to lift your shirt up to see my I mean your six-pack.

PLEASE, it's a lot better than having people always thinking you're Matthew McConaughey and always having them asking you to lift your shirt up to see my I mean your six-pack.

Drift alert!
Man-crush alert!

This is your second " 'Tis the season" headline, Ms. Large. Take your hands off the keyboard and step away fromt he desk.

I am laughing out loud at my desk here. EL

Bucky, why not just twinkle at the kid and promise him coal in his stocking for being such a bad boy, then exit stage left, ho-ho-ho-ing all the way?

People people people. Do I have to do all the anti-social heavy lifting? This is how you deal with annoying kids when their parents encourage or allow them to be obnoxious. You promise them whatever they want.

A puppy? Your parents told me they were getting you one Johnny.

When I was your age I got to stay up until midnight and play with my fireworks.

School bus? That's crap -- I rode my pony to school.

Homework is for losers -- baseball players never did homework and look how cool they are.

Swearing in church is just being honest with God, after all he invented everything, so there are no bad words.

If you don't want to eat something, just spit it out of throw it on the floor.

Tell your parents that if they punish you, you're going to call the cops.

etc

Owl,
Thanks for the laughs. Swearing in church? I'm still LQTM.

You forgot though:

Of course I will bring you that drum set you wanted.

Don't worry, those cymbals will be under the tree for sure.

EL, this blog post and its comments must be the perfect way to end the week. Cheers!

RtSO – you win the prize. Even though I didn’t know there was one. It’s a good prize. Think of it as a “date.” Now…how to get it to you. Ummmm…

Eve – thanks for having my back, but I believe Owlie. He’s much more creative than Shave your beard and stop whining Scrooge. If he wanted to insult me, it would have been in an exotic language with classical literary references. Or in symbol language.

Kitkat – not exactly sure what FOB is. I’ve come up with seven potential answers. I may be over-thinking this.

Rob – I’ve never seen Bad Santa. I could have used a Billy Bob line from Bandits, which I re-watch every time it’s on.

Zevonista – he had on a Cutler jersey. (Who doesn’t, these days? I mean, in Denver.)

Mmmcorn – you’re right. I should have poked the mom. Where were you when I needed you?

Hal wrote: the one on the left. Man, you were thisclose to winning.

gorelick – I don’t have a six-pack. I have a whole keg.

Dahlink – I don’t know if kids today understand the coal thing. Do they even know what coal is? If I had thought faster, I should have promised him a complete Xbox 360, with extra controllers and a library of games. Put the mom on the hook for a grand or so.

Lissa and Joyce - did EL show you the third picture I sent for her to chose from? Is that why you bring up the braided, colored beard? (Although it is, of course, orange and blue.)

Kate – since you agreed with me, I promise not to invade your blog with a bunch of inane comments.

Prof. McIntyre – that’s Kate’s blog I was promising to stay away from, not You Don’t Say.

Everyone – Kaikala (DW) thinks you’re all nuts.

Bucky, we are all nuts.

Nope, didn't see the third pic. I've just always wanted a beard long enough to braid. Or, better yet, to do the Blackbeard thing, and twist in lit matches. Now, there was a man who had style!

Rob – I’ve never seen Bad Santa

It's not your typical Christmas movie. I'm a huge Lauren Graham fan (but not enough to suffer through the Gilmore Girls). She is "dating" bad Santa and her shouted bedroom refrain is the censorable version of "Do me Santa" while he is wearing the suit. It's not for kids, but it's funny and brings up all kinds of psychological issues.

I only insult interlopers and secret shills and I try to make it more colorful than "shave your beard Scrooge", which doesn't even make sense.

I'm so proud.

(All gifts gladly accepted, although Book may not like the competition. We'll have a long talk so by the time you ship my 'date' everything should be under control. And as long as I have been around here, Her Imperial Majesty knows how to find me. That's how she gets the restraining orders served.)

Bucky,

You must see Bad Santa. It is hilarious, as long as you don't mind the excessive cursing and drinking.

Which probably describes most Broncos fans. Hey, looks like you'll still reach the playoffs.

Cutler? I thought the only jersey legal out there was #7.

I love Owl Meat's approach. Next time a kid pokes you, Bucky, do some "ho ho hos" and tell him you can't wait to come down the chimney with his new pony in December.

Kate, I think it is only fair that you warn all the mommies over on your blog about possible consequences of poking Santa!

Rob - I put Bad Santa in my NetFlix queue this morning.

Bucky,
That movie is a hoot, hope you like it.

The following comment is about football, so if you don't like football, skip it.

Rob wrote: I thought the only jersey legal out there was #7.

It's a generational thing. The old farts wear #7 jerseys. The younger folks are wearing #6.

Also, best line from a football game I've ever heard:

The Broncos played Kansas City yesterday, and we had three Chiefs fans in the front row of our section. A dude behind us yells out, "Chiefs, I've a feeling you're not in Kansas any more."

Funny line. The first time he yelled it. Unfortunately, he kept yelling it throughout the game.

Finally, in the third quarter, one of the Chiefs fans stood up, turned around and yelled, "Kansas City is in Missouri, you dork."

Ha ha ha. We gave him a standing ovation and Bucky Jr. bought him a beer.

Still on football....

Bucky,
Great story! As a Ravens season ticket holder (yes, I kept them and go a couple times a year) from time to time we get loudmouths in the crowd who get their comeuppance sooner or later.

Take the "Is Bucky Real?" poll at
http://owlmeat.blogspot.com/

Note: Existential polls are non-binding and unenforceable.

Still on football...

There is a scenario that results in Denver-Baltimore in the playoffs, you know.

I might have to go into hibernation for a couple weeks if it happens.

Not at all. But be careful what you wish for. My daughter belongs to a group on Facebook called Three-Quarters of the Earth Is Covered by Water and the Rest by Ed Reed. I'm not making this up. EL

Owlie wrote: Take the "Is Bucky Real?" poll at
http://owlmeat.blogspot.com/

Shill Alert!!!!

LOL...

More like whore alert. 8>)
Shills have some sort of profit motive.

Back to football...

Yes, Bucky, I'm aware that the Ravens and Broncos may meet in the playoffs. I just received my playoff ticket invoice too. The two teams met in the playoffs in 2000 as well, and we know how that turned out. :-)

No need to hibernate, we can still chat about food. I can see a blog post right now: Favorite Football Playoff Foods.

EL, I've heard that expression before regarding Ed Reed. Anyone watching in the past couple of weeks knows that expression is true.

OMG...good distinction...I'll buy that. I voted, by the way.

EL & Rob - that's pretty funny. (The Ed Reed group, I'm talking about.)

I can't remember, Rob...who was the starting tight end on that 2000 team? (There are a number of links between the Ravens and the Broncos...including Art Modell who, when the NFL and AFL were discussing a merger back in the late 60's, opposed it by saying, "I'll be dammed if a team like the Denver Broncos will ever play a game in Cleveland Municipal Stadium."

LOL. We call it "The Drive." And it finished in the "Dog-Pound" end of Cleveland Municipal Stadium.

That would be Shannon Sharpe, Bucky. I was shocked that the Ravens landed him.

I didn't know that about Modell, but maybe he was thinking of that weird looking horse/donkey that adorned the early helmets?

I remember those games well. Very exciting stuff. While we're not Elway fans, that was some great football.

You left out "The Fumble". (That was the following year?)
What we Raven fans can't understand is why Modell put Byner in the Ring of Honor. The dude played like two years in Baltimore and works now for the Redskins no less. The Shame!

The Fumble was the next year. And Byner was the Fumbler.

Byner is in the Raven's Ring of Honor? That's gotta be for the years he spent with Modell in Cleveland. Byner was a tough back and while I was obviously overjoyed at The Fumble, I was always sorry it was Byner who fumbled it.

Byner is in the Ravens' Ring because the Cleveland years, no doubt. And he was inducted while Modell still owned the team. But it doesn't sit well with quite a few Baltimore fans. He was the first inductee into the Ring.

I don't think Byner will ever forget The Fumble.