The quintessential chili dog
Multimedia Editor Emeritus John Lindner (I've got to get a sexier name for him) has come up with what he calls a Sloppy Thought Wednesday for us today. He also included this URL for Bucky and those who can't see the video directly because of foolish work safeguards: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGiv1t3Reg8 ...
"I guess we don't praise chili dogs enough.
But I guess we get so many poor examples that, shoot, what's to praise?
So much has to go right to create a satisfying chili dog experience.
First of all, who among us hasn't been emotionally disfigured by an insufficient chili dog bun? I mean, it's the gosh darn foundation of the quintessential American taste treat. Yet so often it's merely reshaped Wonder Bread. Not that there's anything wrong with Wonder Bread qua Wonder Bread. But seriously, as a cradle for civilization's zestiest dog? Please, don't make me guffaw. Gimme a whole wheat baguette or better yet a tangy sourdough fuselage, or just drop the dog in my palm and hit it, eh? I mean, I need something I can frickin' chew!
And hit it with what? Some ancient Az-Texan family red bean gourmet specialty cactus-that-only-grows-two-miles-south-of-Tempe recipe nobody's ever heard of or ever wanted to chili? Heck no! Hormel, Home. Hormel. Something greezy sweet that can stand up to a good dog's understated pallor, that's what. Pick a dang ol' chili that's got itself plumb out of the shadow of persnickety or put the stuff in a bowl and leave the dog in its kennel, yo Bucky?
Now cheese. I'm the third to admit I'm as biased as a DC journalist when it comes to chili dog cheese. Make mine cheddar and call me any names you want. But! I'm not entirely unenlightened, or unlit, as they say. You want to invite me to sidle up to your home grill and just for the heck of it try a C-dog with a grilled mozzarella topper or some cage-aged brie, well pard, I'm all in. Variety … much like stupidity … tends to be the closest we come to a spice for life, so you cheese up and I say live and let live. If we must be bound by cheese, let us be also bound by our love of it. Semper fry.
Decorations? I like 'em. Carelessly diced onion, a trio of jalepeno buttons placed just so, a dash or eight of colon-energizing hot sauce (pick your poison, I'm not picky), some black olives (or green, heck, this is America after all), and maybe some 'shrooms marinated in some a that blue agave sauce … mmmmm, blue agave sauce.
Now that's a chili dog I can eat in public.
Please pass the gas."








Comments
Wegman's does a chewy hotdog roll that fits John's bill. I have never used it for a chili dog but now, inspired by John, I will have chili dogs on those wonderfully chewy rolls for dinner tonight. Watch out Baltimore, extra gas will be on tap tonight! lol.
Posted by: Regina | October 8, 2008 7:10 AM
When I make chili dogs, its with no-bean chili. I want the most meaty, spicy, gut-wrenching flavor I can get. If I want fiber I can use the aforementioned whole wheat baguette. Cheese, yeah, hot sauce, of course (unless you've already made the chili to your liking), jalapeños on the side so you can grab as many as you wish, but olives and mushrooms? I want a chili dog, not some vegetarian imitation. In fact, let's make it better:
Two all-beef hot dogs, chili, hot sauce, and cheese, on a toasted sesame seed bun (NO apologies to you-know-who).
Posted by: Retired in Elkridge | October 8, 2008 9:05 AM
Oops. Forgot the onions. Yeah, chopped red onions to stand up to the rest of the dog.
Posted by: Retired in Elkridge | October 8, 2008 9:07 AM
Gods, John, you really need to get yourself to Detroit, and have a real chili dog (we call them coney dogs there) at Lafayette or one of the other local coneys (Detroit's equivalent of the diner is the Coney Island, where one gets coney dogs. Yeah, it is confusing. Just eat).
What he is talking about isn't a chili dog, it is a suburban glop dog.
Posted by: Lissa | October 8, 2008 9:21 AM
jl - I would reiterate that you are my hero but it's starting to sound like some kind of fawning man-crush, so I won't.
Mostly I eat my dogs plain, just the dog and the bun. (It's the culinary equivalent of "going commando".)
But when I do put chili on them, it is Bush chili, no beans of course, because real chili ain't got no beans. And bleu cheese.
Haha...bleu cheese...I just said that to see if you were paying attention. Cheddar.
Oh, and onions, unless I'm on a first date.
Posted by: Bucky | October 8, 2008 9:59 AM
Uh, Bucky--does Mrs. Bucky know about this?
Posted by: Dahlink | October 8, 2008 10:31 AM
I thought that chili dogs and coffee was the quintessential Baltimore breakfast? My morning routine at Konstant's in the Lexington Market:
all beef every; small coffee, cream and sugar
That translates to an all beef hot dog with spicy brown mustard, diced onion and chili (no cheese, thank you). A small coffee with cream (not milk) and enough sugar to make your teeth hurt. aaah, I'm ready for the day.
Posted by: KAZ | October 8, 2008 11:17 AM
Okay John. I forgot to ask how you cook the dog and what kind you prefer. I know that this will open a can of worms.
Kaz, I grew up eating those Konstant dogs. Today, my husband and I call them the dirty dogs from Lexington market. We stopped there last
Saturday on the way out of town. Two each beef everything and an orange drink. That drink is nothing like it was when I was a kid but it is a nostalgia factor.
Posted by: Regina | October 8, 2008 11:33 AM
Dahlink - Yes, Mrs. Bucky knows about this. My last first date was with her, as a matter of fact, which is to say I always eat onions on my chili dogs.
Posted by: Bucky | October 8, 2008 12:36 PM
Lissa, so Detroit has something to recommend it. Who knew?
Bucky, yo!
Regina, if one is going to pour on the Hormel, then one might as well "glop" it over an Oscar Meyer. (I think some kids claim they want to be one of these when they grow up. And from what I can tell, a lot of them got their wish.)
Cooking method ranges from microwave to grill and points in between.
Posted by: jl | October 8, 2008 1:59 PM
Lots of good stuff in Detroit. You just can't find it without a local guide.
Foodwise, this is a city with Lebanese chains. Lots of wonderful, fresh, cheap, tasty and healthy food. Plentiful baklava. Zaatar croissant. Cantaloupe ice cream. Hummus with meat. Shwarma.
Then you've got good, cheap Polish, a few German places, Sander's hot fudge (over-rated, but, hey, it is chocolate) and Vernor's.
Good food in Detroit.
Posted by: Lissa | October 8, 2008 2:47 PM
If you're gonna use Oscar Meyer hot dogs, even the beef ones, you might as well microwave or (shudder) boil them. If you're talking about real all-beef hot dogs in natural casings, you'd best grill them slowly so they get that 'snap' when you bite into them. See previous post about toppings.
Posted by: Retired in Elkridge | October 8, 2008 2:58 PM
The best chili-dog I ever had was at Kaufman's in Middle River. It is still there (I think). I don't know what made it so good. Maybe it was the steamed rolls.
Posted by: Bruce | October 8, 2008 5:10 PM
Now now now, RiE, just because the dog isn't of lofty pedigree doesn't mean it's ok to boil the poor thing. Besides, why watch that pot for the bubbles when you can wave the beast and dress it up and still be back before the last commercial?
Lissa, you didn't rip me for my poke at Motown. I'm shamed (well, I should be). I was born in Detroit, so I do feel the city has value. And I like Corvettes. Thank you for your kindness and patient instruction. I still contend that "suburban glop" can be edifying if you have an appreciation of low culture. I pity the gormand who can stomach only haute dogs.
Posted by: jl | October 8, 2008 8:34 PM
In way upstate New York (like suburban Montreal) they serve a chili dog called a Michigan dog. You gotta love that!
Posted by: MD Canon | October 8, 2008 9:29 PM
Marantos Bakery makes perfect rolls for sausages. When the Edwlesiss Club sold Binkert's sausages at the German Festival eons ago, we always used Marantos' rolls because they held up beautifully to the big sausages and sauerkraut & mustard--yum! Pastore's sells them, and I'm willing to bet they can be found at Trinacria or Mastellone's, too.
Posted by: Dottie | October 8, 2008 10:57 PM
jl, there is a place for suburban glop. I was raised on it. Harder to get more lowbrow than a Detroit coney, though.
Could have a top 10 Tuesday of stuff you feel guilty for liking. Except in Baltimore, we celebrate that kind of thing. I'm surprised Gertrude's doesn't have jello salad.
Posted by: Lissa | October 9, 2008 8:08 AM
Props to you Dottie on the Maranto's bread call! I Maranoto's roll lift's an "ok" sub to sublime!
Posted by: Joyce W. | October 9, 2008 9:29 AM
G&A on eastern Avenue.
Posted by: Donny B | October 10, 2008 1:15 PM
Donny B, didja see Guy Fieri "do" G&A on DDD recently? I never heard of the place, but since his visit to B'more I want to hit G&A, Broadway Diner, and BOP in Fells' Point. Who knew?
Posted by: Dottie | October 10, 2008 10:18 PM
What is the recipe for the hot dog chili @ G&A on Eastern Ave.? Any special advice on the onions? What brand of hot dog do they use?
I began eating them 55 yrs. ago and would love to reproduce them.
PLEASE!!!!!!
Posted by: robb mcfaul | February 7, 2009 9:27 PM
I like to think of G&A as "Highlandtown health food."
Robb, if you ever get to Detroit, be sure to try the coney dogs. You'll love them.
Posted by: Lissa | February 8, 2009 8:34 AM