I bet you thought Owl Meat had forgotten us again. Not so. Here he with yet another funtastic Thursday treat for us. You Could Not Make This Stuff Up. EL
Everybody needs a buddy. Bubbles are fun. Bacon is great. But does anyone need a Bacon Bubble Buddy? It's a bubble gun that shoots bacon-flavored bubbles (with barbecue-chicken bubble refills). The suggested use is for your dog, but I wonder how many humans are sitting around trying it out themselves. Downside: eating soap bubbles.
Finally, there is an evil product called David Burke Flavor Spray. You spray a little flavor mist on food and it's magically delicious. They promise that "After eliminating toppings, gravies, dressings, and sauces, Flavor Spray replaces the flavor that diets forbid. No longer will you crave sweetness or yearn for flavor ..." Yeah, just like food methadone. Some may think of David Burke as a hero, but I call him Captain Hitler-Stalin ... a world without toppings, gravies, dressing, and sauces? That's the level of Hell where Caligula is currently buried up to his neck in lava.
The idea that "ranch" is a flavor baffles me, given that ranches smell like manure and effort. Their "ranch" flavor is composed of water, natural and artificial flavors, salt, and sodium benzoate. Actually, those are the ingredients for all flavors.
Other flavors: Parmesan cheese, buttery, pesto, tomato basil, smoked bacon, carmelized onion, ketchup, popcorn butter, bleu cheese, cheddar cheese, honey, garlic and oil, hot and sour, ice blue salt (what?), Memphis BBQ, pepper city (really?), teriyaki, banana split, birthday cake, chocolate fudge, cookies & cream, marshmallow, mochaccino, raspberry bubblegum, root beer float, strawberry shortcake, cheesecake, apple pie, raspberry chocolate truffle, and peanut brittle.
I would use the bacon spray as an air freshener or cologne.
Happy birthday, Johnny. You're too fat for cake this year, so let me spray some cake smell on a plastic fork for you. What exactly would you spray root beer float flavor on? My guess is that there are a bunch of crazed dieters out there just spraying it in their mouth or huffing it like model airplane glue from a paper bag.
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