Why are you mocking blind women from Quebec?

Actually, if you do your research, you'll find most beehives produce less honey than the average bear, but you'd have to assume the bear has washed his hands of the salmon stench.

Uh oh, I forgot to turn the cloning machine off. Beware of mis-meant meat.

Il est chié en étant écossais! Nous sommes les plus bas du bas. L'écume de la terre foutue! Le détritus le plus misérable, le plus malheureux, servile, pathétique qui a été jamais chié dans la civilisation. Certains détestent l'anglais. Je ne fais pas. Ils sont juste des branleurs. Nous, d'une part, sommes colonisés par des onanists. Ne peut pas même trouver une culture décente à coloniser près. Nous sommes ordonnés par les abrutis dégradés. C'est un état de la question de merde à être dedans, Tommy, et tout l'air frais dans le monde ne fera aucune différence foutue!

I see nothing here about curling or cricket. Minority sports are being ignored!

Well done Bucky!

I opened my door, and here is what occured. A pretty little gal, with pretty little curls.

Okay, stop it. Get your own names Pathetic and Contrandom. Is there no sanctity in identity here?

The Purist
by Ogden Nash

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

More Bucky Solutions

Lissa - I've curled (once in Minnesota) and played cricket (once in college). I sucked at both.

Hue - I love Ogden Nash.

Owl Meat Gang - I suspect Francois and Pierre are the same person.

A food-related Ogden Nash ditty:

Shake and shake the ketchup bottle
None will come, and then a lot'll.

Youngsters who have only used ketchup in plastic squeeze bottles won't get it.

Must admit, Bucky, I don't think I'll ever understand cricket. But, curling, now, that is the sport of the gods!

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth--
I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Ogden Nash

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve
you, but don't start anything.'

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and
says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.'

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this
taste funny to you?'

7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe
you,' says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I
couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know
you can't - I've cut off your arms!'

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says, 'Dam!'

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After
about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to
disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I
can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a
family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture
of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ....
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns
to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
them laugh.

No pun in ten
did.

You had to bring up the dyslexic jokes...

Hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He kept running around saying, "Yo, gevalt!"

I'm sure you've heard of the dyslexic atheist. He didn't believe in dog.

A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve string here." and throws the string out into the street. The string scrapes himself on the gutter, contorts himself, and goes back into the bar. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

An aardvark walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

You should never kiss your pet bird on the beak. You might get Chirpies. It's an untweetable canarial disease.

PB,
An excellent 20!

Lissa, had you heard about the dyslexic atheist who suffered from insomnia?

He would lie awake at night wondering if there really was a dog

Great puns all!

hey Bourbon Girl, did you ever get those pistachios from nutsonline.com?

they are the best! I've been getting lots of stuff from them, like dried apricots, apples, goldenberries (good but expensive!) and the quinoa (the original reason I went there) - its better than Eden Foods. All good!

Hopefully Mr. Owl enjoyed them as well.

Wow...I miss one day and look what happens...people bring out their best jokes.

jl - I'm majorly disappointed that you didn't mention buckyballs, the strongest balls in the universe.

Bucky wrote: "jl - I'm majorly disappointed that you didn't mention buckyballs, the strongest balls in the universe.

I owuldn't touch that line with a ten foot Hungarian.

I hope this one gets posted.

Did you know the first two people were Irish?

Think back to your Bible studies. You know, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth..." All that in six days and on the seventh day he rested.

So, there's Adam, all by his lonesome, in the Garden of Eden. God sees that he is lonely so He puts Adam to sleep takes a rib from his body and some dust (to say nothing of sugar and spice) and makes Adam a helpmate. Eventually they wake up. Since all of this is before that nastiness with the snake and apple, they are in a State of Grace - that is, buck naked. He looks at her. She looks at him. He says "O'Hare?" She says "O'Toole?" See, Irish!

RiE, you started it...

How do we know that G_d loves baseball? The first three words of Bereshit. In the Big Inning.

(For those who need an explaination, Bereshit is the first book of Torah, called "Genesis" by the Christians.)

R-i-E

You know, we're pretty funny when we set our minds to it.

Bucky

I started out as a photographer but couldn't stand making all those snap decisions..and my career wasn't developing like I had hoped..way too many negatives
So I went into the dry cleaning business but I couldn'ty stand all those pressing demands..
Tried my hand at being a sculptor but was afraid I would be taken for granite.
Entered dental school but was kicked out because I didn't have enough pull.
Then it was either a policeman or a fireman so i chose
the ladder

Had Enough yet!!

You can go on all day, Hue. I won't get tired. I love puns.

Jim was out golfing with his friends one afternoon when a funeral procession went by on the road just outside of the course. Jim takes off his hat and bows his head. His friends say "That was a nice gesture." Jim puts his hat back on and says "Yeah, she was a good wife."

Saw a B.C. cartoon a few years ago where he is trying to explain golf to the cute broad. She says "So the idea is to finish the course in as few strokes as possible. Why even bother?" The next three panels show day turning to night as B.C. ponders "Why even bother?"

I think I was married to Jim......

Heard about the fellow that ran into the Greek tailor shop with a pair of torn trousers
"Can you menda dese?"
Tailor
"why did you ripa dese?"

Am I the only one irritated by by those Gemcraft Homes balloons floating up over the Most Recent Comments?

I don't begrudge the Sun for selling advertising, I'm a capitalist.

But Gemcraft Homes, you aren't doing yourself any favors with that particular form of advertising. You are quickly replacing the GEICO cave men as the biggest commerical irritant in my life.

Oh, Bucky--I kind of like the GEICO cave men--they are sweeter and more sensitive than some men I have encountered ... present company excepted, of course.

Dahlink - You are the first person I've heard say they like the GEICO cave men. Do you like their creepy little lizard too? How about the AFLAC goose?

If it moves, I block it. Problem ended.

I know that websites need revenue. I'm fine with that. But, noise and movement are too much, and distract from the content (not to mention scare the hell out of me when I'm online at 3 am because I can't sleep).

I used to adore the AFLAC duck (it's not really a goose, is it?), but those ads aren't as good as they used to be. The lizard I can take or leave. My husband and I used to have a standing brown bag lunch date once a year when we went to see the Clio awards for the best international ads of the year--until that annual event was cancelled. Sometimes we laughed until we cried.

Dahlink, Apparently it is a duck. I've always thought it was a goose, up to now. Which didn't make it any less irritating.

I think GEICO kinda wore out the cave men thing. The spots were pretty good at first.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, which is why I resurrected this post, is that today I got new glasses, first time in 5 years.

WOW!, its like I am seeing everything in Hi-Def now!

I wear contacts but decided to update my glasses rx.

wow.

Now back to your regular scheduled blogging.

I've been asked the following question this morning:

Do popcorn and corn on the cob have the same nutritional value? (Assuming that you put the same amount of butter on both when you eat them.)

I said I would check with the Sandbox.

Okay, we need to level the field here. First we are going to look just at the corns. Any butter or salt you add is on you. The best comparison is white air-popped popcorn versus white corn cut off the cob unprepared. The problem is that the popcorn is 4% water and the corn is 75% water.

All sources:
http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/cgi-bin/list_nut_edit.pl

Substance, Popcorn, Corn (per 100 grams)
Protein 12 , 3
Fat 4.2, 0.77
Carbs 78, 21
Ca (mg) 10, 4
Mg (mg) 131, 18
K (mg) 301, 210
Fiber 15.1, 2.4

If we adjust for water content the dry weight equivalents would be:
Protein 12.5, 12
Fat 4.38, 3.08
Carbs 81, 84
Ca (mg) 10.4, 16
Mg (mg) 136, 72
K (mg) 314, 840
Fiber 15.7, 9.6

No big differences. Popcorn has more fiber, corn more potassium.

Owl Meat, you are smart. The entire section of the office where I work thanks you. A couple people even said they were sorry for messing up your poll.

Owlie

How can water increase fat?

Since this post is active again, here is something else totally off the wall:

My car's trunk leaks. And after about 8 inches of rain yesterday, I used a shop-vac to get the worst of it out. I believed the forecast that it would clear up, so when the sun came out I parked my car in the sun, and opened the sunroof and passenger side window. Not 15 minutes later I look out and it is absolutely pouring!!

So I dash out to the car, turn it on and close the roof and window. As I sit there waiting for the squall to end, the windows fog up massively. Anyway, I run back into work. Now I'm wet and cold.

As soon as the deluge really slows, I pull my car into my work's warehouse (they call 'em high-bays down here) and dry the inside off as best as I can.

Tomorrow morning is supposed to be in the mid 30s. I'm guessing I'll have to scrape the inside and outside of the windows. Sheesh.

Hey, at least I made an appointment at the dealer to have a new weatherstrip put on the trunk.

PCB Rob, you are supposed to keep bodies in your trunk, not water.

RtSO and EL: Robert's Grand Prize for being the first (and apparently only) person who could tell the difference between me and a Christmas tree ornament is in the mail first thing tomorrow. Robert, I assume EL will let you know when it hits her desk.

Thanks, Elizabeth, for facilitating this.

I'm already greasing up the wheels on my tricycle so I can go get my prize, in style. Yip, yip, yippee!

PCB Rob, you are supposed to keep bodies in your trunk, not water.

Perhaps I should add some seasonings and make it marinade?

hey, that is food related!

RtSO - Well, just to control expectations here...don't get too excited. I might have exagerated a little with the adjective "Grand".

Single Rob,

If its the same prize I received, you will be quite happy with it!

I like the marinade idea! Very efficient use of existing resources.

Panhandle Rob wrote: If its the same prize I received, you will be quite happy with it!

It isn't. It is along the lines of a book, but not so much as to cost RtSO any dates with Book.

Rob won his prize during the growing season in Colorado. Unfortunately, the only thing that grows here this time of year are drifts of snow.

Always a bride's maid, never the bride. Well I always have Book. Maybe there isn't a Santa Clause. Oh, well. A gift I didn't buy for myself is still a gift.

How can water increase fat?

Obviously it can't. I just created quantites that would be comparable to each other (corn Vs Popcorn) by dividing each by it's percent non-water content.