I'm impressed that you found a Home Depot employee to actually help you, Bucky. Usually, I have to run up and down the isles in pursuit. As soon as they know you have them on your radar, they dissapear. And, I must say in my previous life as a person who could eat what they wanted without getting stomach punishment, Home Depot Chili dogs with the works were the bomb. Now they are a bomb - an atomic bomb to my stomach.

I guess the answer to your question about food in non-food item places would be the wings my son always likes to have in BJs Wholsale Emporium (along with whatever they have for samples - he's a lover of all things free no matter what they are)

Finally, a mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey, we don't serve mushrooms in here". The mushroom replys "but I'm a Fungi"... (I know don't quit the day job)

Three words:

BOWLING ALLEY PIZZA

I know now they all have bars, etc. But at some point in time, it was just a bowling alley and someone said, "let's make a pizza and sell it". I'm pretty sure they still use the same recipe :) YUM

I find a bag of popcorn and a soda for $1 from the Target snack bar utterly satisfying. Of course, I go into Target for one $3.00 tube of toothpaste and come out with $100 worth of stuff that I needed but didn't realized I needed, so maybe that popcorn and soda ends up costing me more than $1.00?

Bucky, toilets are easy. You've got the toilet kit, that's all you need.

Just remember to turn the water off at the wall before you start on it, and to turn it back on slowly, looking for leaks.

(I'll resist telling you about the time I went to fix a leaky toilet, only to find that the floor was rotted out, so I had to replace the floor in the only bathroom in the house. Whoops...guess I just did. Worked out fine, though. Only took 12 hours and 3 trips to the hardware store to replace it.)

Weird places one finds food...don't have any here, but in Iceland, you go to the gas stations to get incredible hot dogs, with fried onions, potato salad and many sauces.

As for non-food items gotten at bars...are we talking medical issues?

I have to say that hotdogs and toilets make for an unappealing read early in the morning, so I will focus on this:

Trigonomic Calculus of Differential Equations with Multiple Stochastic Variables

That's not real. The math gods will smite you.

But, I want to know how the toilet repair turned out...

I once had a very tasty breakfast at the IKEA cafeteria (waiting for the store to open). It looked like there were people there who came just for the food.

Ahhhh, Buck, you can do this! I've replaced valves and handles and flapper-lifters and that floating ball-thing in my bathrooms. I've never done a complete toilet repair, but then, my bathrooms are miniscule and I keep slamming my elbows into walls and towel racks and smacking my head on the side of the sink while my cat balances all four of his dainty feet (ocassionally sinking a claw into my shoulder for balance) on the side of the sink to supervise while the dog stands out in the hall, worrying over the fate of his drinking bowl.

I shudder to think of what's in those $1 Home Depot hog dogs -- hopefully the filler isn't anything more offensive than sawdust.

Well,

Sam's Club has a really good deluxe pizza that they make on premises, its not frozen. And they serve a jumbo slice of it too.

They also have Nathan's foot long hot dogs for like $1.80. I think it also includes a 32 oz. drink, but I forget. Its been awhile since I've been there.

I can only answer one question raised here--most of the toilets in our house date from 1926. (Doesn't everyone know the answer to that question, though?)
Bucky, dear, my husband just replaced a vital toilet component last weekend. Too bad you live so far away!

When I need to go to Homo - oops, Home - Depot, I do so on a full stomach. At least I'm not torn between which tools I want to try.

A guy walks into a bar and after his third beer realizes it's not his kind of bar. Seems he was bar none.

The brand new super mega size Home Depot by my house in New Jersey has a Dunkin Donuts right in it. Tools and donuts - can't ask for much more.

Oh no!!! The rumor circulating through e-mail in Denver this morning is true!!! Our fearless leader has abandoned us. He snuck off to cavort with his new favorites. He has been blinded by the glitz and glamour of the big city. Forget about loyal readers. What about loyal writers?

Why are you calling him Bucky?

I should not encourage this disloyalty but if you are going to hold him hostage at least make him tell you the raccoon story.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a pretty lady; he decides he wants to meet her. He tells the bartender that he will buy her another of whatever she is drinking.

The bartender says ''OK, I'll pour it for her. But just for your information, she's a hooker. She'll do whatever you want for money.''

The drink gets delivered and the woman makes eyes at the guy, inviting him over. After a couple of minutes of chatting, the guy gets up the nerve to ask her: ''The bartender says you're a hooker, is that true?''

The woman says ''Yes. I do it for the money. In fact, I'll do anything for $200.''

The guy thinks for a minute and then pulls out $200, gives it to her and says ''Paint my house.''

Did anyone notice? The Sandbox Universe has expanded to include New Jersey.

Here is my bar joke:

Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. "This place is great, isn't it?" he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark, replies, "Why do you say that?"
The first man, in a low tone of voice, responds, "Follow me." The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room. The window faces out onto the street, 12 floors below.
"Here's why." The first man throws open the window, and boldly steps out into thin air. But he remains aloft!
"The air currents are great here!" he exclaims. "It's very relaxing."
He floats back into the room. As his feet return to the bar-room floor, he invites the second man to try it.
The second man, skeptical, peers out through the window - down to the pavement twelve stories below. He looks to either side, and finally up above, to see if there was anything holding the first man up.
Convinced that it was no trickery, the second man swallows, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air. He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.
The first man grins and returns to the bar. Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.
"You know," he says, disgusted. "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

Eve brings out the real problem with plumbing repair. It's not that the repairs are all that hard in themselves, it's just that the plumbing to be repaired is always in a hard-to-get-to place.

OK, tried this earlier but never appeared - guess it's in the black hole of the blogosphere. Anyway, I'm ASTOUNDED! That Bucky actually got someone to WAIT on him at Home Depot. Usually if they spot you coming at them, they run away.

As to an age for a toilet, up until probably the mid 80's when hand processing of manufacture was phasing out, each tank lid of the assembly was imprinted with the date of manufacture before going in the kiln. It usually looks like someone impressed one of those ink pad date stamps if you look at the underside of the lid.

Costco has the best deal for a Kosher dog with a refillable soda for $1.50, sauerkraut, deli mustard, onions and relish included.

One plumbing repair experience that we laugh at now started with changing a washer in the bathroom faucet.

When the shutoff value was turned back on, it leaked. The next shutoff value was turned off so the first could be fixed and, when it was turned back on, it leaked.

At each subsequent turnoff, we got a leak once it was turned back on until we got to the main access to the house.

At that point, we had to call the city and wait for them to come out and shut off the water from the meter and then we had to call again to have them come back and turn the water back on.

I think I've seen a hot dog cart at the Home Depot in White Marsh.

On the toilet topic, I'm in the market for a new one and was quite shocked to learn that they have model names like "The Viper" and "Maurice." And the sales reps talk to you about how many golf balls you could theoretically flush at one time.

Hey kate,

Does your Maurice toilet speak of the pompitous of love?

Ah, a favorite of mine. :-) EL

EL asked: How many people know how old their toilets are?

We moved into our home when it was first built and the guest bathroom toilet is original, so I know. If you asked me how old the carpet in the family room is, I would have to guess.

Anonymous wrote: Trigonomic Calculus of Differential Equations with Multiple Stochastic Variables ...That's not real.

Yeah, I may have screwed that up. I know it was a lot more complex than Survey of British Lit.

Rosebud wrote: But, I want to know how the toilet repair turned out...

I got it taken apart by myself. I needed help putting it back together. Lissa's suggestion about turning off the water before you start happens to be a great toilet repair tip, by the way.

Finally, I'm getting the feeling that Home Depots there don't all have hot dog carts in the parking lot. Nealy all of them here (and nearly all the Lowes, as well) have them. This might have made more sense if I had checked that out first.

Do your bookstores have little bakeries in them?

Just think back to the good ole daze

when your toilet stopped working ..you dug another one

Susan WSNAJ -- Yes, the Sandbox now includes at least one person in NJ, however I am a recent transplant from Baltimore which I miss very dearly!!

...when your toilet stopped working ..you dug another one

Good one. Made me flash on a two-story outhouse I once saw in Crested Butte, CO. (If Kitkat is still here, she can verify I'm telling the truth.)

When the snow got deep enough, they started using the second floor holes.

IKEA has hot dogs, too. Can't remember if they are 4 bits or 6. No sauerkraut, though.

Bucky, glad your toilet didn't explode or anything. And, what about the raccoon?

When the snow got deep enough, they started using the second floor holes. There is nothing in that statement that has appeal. It does beg the question of why anyone would live there long enough to build a 2-storey outhouse.

Lissa - The raccoon story is not appropriate here because a) it is not food-related and b) it is too long.

Even the short version runs, probably, 2,000 words. And you wouldn’t want the short version. You would want the long version where, in addition to the raccoon part, you have the part about my sub-conscious sitting around in its underwear, watching old episodes of Family Feud—the good ones, with Richard Dawson—in the middle of the night.

It's too bad, because it is an absolutely true story that made me a legend on another blog I (used to) frequent.

Oh well ...

Fair enough, Bucky. Although I never liked Richard Dawson on Family Feud. My grandmother did, though.

Got a link, at least?

Am I talking to myself now?

Uh oh, Bucky talking to himself.... what are the implications of this? I think Bucky is really John McIntyre

Bucky, I apologize. I was replying to you, and put your name in where my name should be.

It was unintensional. If I'm going to be someone else, I'll be Helen Mirren or Eleanor of Acquitain or someone like that, not you. No insult intended, I just think you are a far better you than I could ever be.

Uh oh, Bucky talking to himself.... what are the implications of this? I think Bucky is really John McIntyre

John McIntyre talks to himself?

Lissa - no problem. I've done that myself.

Bucky,

SURVEY SAYS!!!

I'm thinking the raccoon story should be one of your next stories as "recurring contributor".

Loved your recount of the Home Depot experience. Sounds like me.

Match point to Bucky.

I must look helpless, because I always get offers of help at Home Depot. I guess part of it is being a 60+ woman. When I say I'm headed to Aisle [whatever] for whatever it is that I need, they sometimes look a little put out.

The other tasty Costco deal is a slice of very decent pizza and a beverage for $1.99. Yeppur!

Last year my mother moved from her home of 29 years. Wallboard behind the toilet was rotted and needed to be replaced. Cut the board perfect screwed it in only to hit the inlet pipe. Plumber to come in and fix leaky pipe-$400*+ (Saturday and emergency. Ironically had gone to the exact Home Depot in NJ as mentioned above. I know this because last weekend when I visited I was astounded how the place had changed and dam there was Dunkin' Donuts. If this was in Baltimore I'd still be there!

Hal Luarent, VOR asked "John McIntyre talks to himself?"

At least when you talk to yourself you're assured of an attentive listener.

Bucky, don't know about the raccoon, but there was a story yesterday about one of the smaller California fires being started by a flaming squirrrel. Seems the poor rodent shorted some electric wires and set her or himself on fire. When the burning body fell to the ground it ignited some dry leaves. Took a couple of fire engines and crews to put it out.

I used to work for a mental health HMO. One day, I got a call from one of my offices that their fax machine was fried, would I please order them another one. I asked how. They said a squirrel had been walking along an electrical line, hit a spot where the insulation broke, and blew all the electrical stuff for several blocks around.

Not as good as starting a fire, but maybe my squirrel was practicing.