Got any stale bread on the verge of being tossed? Bake a quick bread pudding (maybe spiked with rum.) My wife's last-minute 'pot luck' standby is my late mother's legendary noodle kugel. Only one small problem -- you'd need my mother's recipe. How about deviled eggs? Always a crowd-pleaser. Or a gelatin dessert studded with chunks of pineapple and Mandarin oranges which should be set by the time the combattants gather at 4PM.

I'm looking forward to the block party so I can accost the neighbor whose crazed German shepherd barks from dawn to dusk. And we need to have the fight about whether to require parking permits for residents or not.

Sounds like a good time. Since there isn't a Bronco game today, maybe I'll get all our neighbors together so we can eat and fight too. It will be a nice afternoon for it.

My favorite food to bring to any gathering of this type is Seven Layer Bars. They're quick, simple and require absolutely no cooking skills. And since they're a big block of sugar and fat, they usual go over extremely well.

Crust:
1 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs
2 T sugar, mix w/ crumbs
1 stick butter melted, mix w/ crumbs

Pat on bottom of 9x13 cake pan

Spread the following evenly on the crumb crust:

1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup butterscotch chips
1 cup coconut flakes
1 cup chopped pecans
1 can sweetened condensed milk

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Let cool in pan

(I'd give credit where credit is due, but I have no idea where the recipe is from.)

How does your identity work with neighborhood functions? Granted, I know a restaurant critic isn't the same as CIA operative (I assume Bob Novak never blew your cover); nevertheless, a restaurant critic needs to keep some level of anonymity. So, do all the neighbors know what you do, or have they all been led to believe you work in the Sun's marketing or finance department.

They know. I'm not sure they care. EL

You've got time for the NY Times quick no-knead bread. Or make some chocolate chip cookies. Then folks can fight about whether or not nuts belong in them.

EL: I am so surprised that you didn't think of this: jello fruit salad :-)

EL, are you going to give us a report on the meeting? We're all wondering what the parking situation will be next time we drop by.

The recipe that Abigail mentions is called "Magic Cookie Bars." You can find a kit for it at the grocery store or the recipe on the back of Nestle chocolate chips. They're great!

Recently I have heard three different people talking about "monkey bread". Is this a local thing? I've never heard of it before. Any clues gang?

OMG--you're kidding, right? Monkey bread has been around forever, and it does not involve any actual monkeys.

I'd not heard of monkey bread until recently, and I've never had any.

I did see some frozen at Aldi's. I didn't buy it.

So what is monkey bread?

Monkey bread is balls of bread stuck together, covered in butter and sugar and cinnamon. It sounds like it should be delightful and everytime I've tried it, HATED it! IMHO, better off with Panera's sugar cinnamon monstrosity that they call a "bagel". It's not a bagel, but it IS delicious!

I've had/heard about monkey bread in other states. It's an old delicacy that goes 'way back to the stay-at-home mom era. Very June Cleaver. Also very sticky on the hands, both during preparation and consumption.

This site has both a recipe and a picture.

http://www.momswhothink.com/easy-recipes/monkey-bread-recipe.html

So what is monkey bread?

See this Wikipedia entry, as well as these examples of recipes from Pillsbury and Alton Brown.

Some kind of giant, mutated cinnamon roll kind of thing, apparently.

Sounds like a recipe for burned fingers and hyperactive children to me.

Sounds like a recipe for burned fingers and hyperactive children to me.

So, its the prefect snack for the loving and caring parents to give their little ones before they (the little ones) are taken out to eat. Should have the little darlings (but not dahlinks) bouncing off walls little golf balls in a tiled bath.

Monkey Ball Cake or Monkey Bread is a great morning after hungover treat.

Monkey bread is also a good office pot-luck dish. Everyone's fingers digging around in the bread...mmmm. Plus, you get the sticky cinnamon stuff all over your fingers, then it gets all over your mouse.

Nevertheless, some people bring it to the office.

Monkey Ball Cake

So many remarks to be made.....

pretty cool to hear about that church actually showing God's grace to the community.

And although I didn't know it at the time of my first post, the church actually initiated the party. EL

Yes, dahlink, I didn't think it involved any actual monkeys (sadly). Nor do I believe that the monkey bars of my youth were actual iron monkeys (I wish!). Seriously, I've seen some sick and weird stuff in my life, but never heard of monkey bread until October 2008. And thanks for the wikipedia ref hpmstd, been there. I've heard it described by a Pennsylvania resident as a homemade undisciplined verson of the PA sticky bun, which I've never seen here. It's all very perplexing to me; not so much the thing as why it's been hidden in plain sight for so long. Actually I had dinner with Bourbon Girl's parents in Delaware this weekend (I know) and monkey bread was casually presented much to her surprise and it was my duty/homework to shake the trees. (BTW Dinner went very well. Her family is delightful. Especially her brother who is an excellent juggler, orator, and alumnus of the Harmonicats.)

you get the sticky cinnamon stuff all over your fingers, then it gets all over your mouse

word, all the boyz in the hood got to keep your mouse hand clean

holy moly, a church having something to do with community other than stealing their money for magic tricks? how unusual. i'm not sure what G-d's grace has to do with street parties and parking, but whatever

"I'm looking forward to the block party so I can accost the neighbor whose crazed German shepherd barks from dawn to dusk. And we need to have the fight about whether to require parking permits for residents or not."

I can only imagine why you live in an "unneighborly neighborhood".
What do you have a knife fight for the Holidays?

cool, I broke the name length function

So my cultural anthropological take on this is that it is some vestigial Good Housekeeping kind of thing from the 50s that survived against the odds, much like the koala bear, Hugh Jackman, and the sleeveless ladies turtleneck. Seriously girls, what the hell is with the sleeveless turrleneck top? It seem quite counter-intuitive to me. Plus you're always cold in it. Sleeves.

Will the Sandbox be invited to the OMG-BG wedding? This is sounding serious.

OMG - "Harmonicats"? please elaborate ...

And, that cultural anthropological thing - Desperate Housewives.

Will the ____box be invited to the OMG-BG wedding?

Ha!

Will the Sandbox be invited to the OMG-BG wedding?

Not if they (OMG and BG) have any sense. :-)

Kate -- it all depends. Will you be using that $100 AFJ cash prize to buy the Sandbox's wedding gift if we're all invited? [;-)]

I've never actually brought this up before, but in another life, I'm Rev. Bucky, ordained by the Universal Life Church and authorized to perform all the normal religious rites except circumcision.

No, really. I am. It's legal in Colorado, anyway.

Bucky, in a lot of states, particularly in the west, you don't need ordination of any kind to marry people. All that is necessary is that at least one of the two people you are marrying believe you have the authority to do it.

I've been told this is because some men, back in the wild west days, would get a friend to pretend to be a minister and marry them, then he'd tell her it wasn't a really marriage, and skip out of town. Not sure if I believe that, but I've never understood marriage, anyways.

Lissa, it's just as well that you don't understand marriage. It's a right we might never get in our lifetime. Athough having done it in my past life, I doubt I'd do it again, it'd still be nice to be able to....
stepping down from podium now...

Wow, last thing I know I was reading posts about golf and fell asleep....

and I wake up to people talking about my wedding to OMG... sweet mary! I need a drink.. (oh wait, got one - but no pistachios from nuts online yet Rob - they're coming)

I think I shall choose wedgewood for our china....

Seriously, people. Imagine bringing your new boyfriend to a family dinner and you're just sitting there in a peaceful little corner with new boyfriend, when your otherwise extremely intelligent and otherwise extremely sane mother walks up out of nowhere with a plate and says, "monkey bread?" (EL, please note, don't do this to your Gailor)

I was mortified. I'm not even sure I've ever, in my adult life, heard my mom say the word monkey, much less in relation to bread. I had never even heard of monkey bread. We never had it when I was growing up. They have never served it, ever.

I thought the woman was nuts. Or had too much wine. I'm just glad OMG is sitll talking to me at this point after the mom monkey incident. I hope he will still come for Thanksgiving. My brother thought he was way cool (even after the Old Bay diatribe)

Ah, young love.

I know I said this was The Only Blog You Will Ever Need, but who knew it had a dating service?

I think what we're all wondering is, do you call him Owl Meat around the family?

Every community cookbook I've ever seen has at least one Monkey Bread recipe; many start with thawed frozen bread dough--how easy is that?

wedgwood. no e in the middle.

First I hate the ____box moniker more than lima beans and cauliflower in a blender. I'm still trying to come up with a less infantile replacement. And yes yes yes I posted a picture of me in an actual ____box as a child.

We are both fairly worldly people and this whole monkey bread thing has been very odd, more for her than me. Even still, how did monkey bread elude us our whole lives and then jump out of her mother's mouth as if possessed by monkey demons?

And my spirit guide and friend Meredith, Watcher of the Sea, was talking about it a few weeks ago to people like it was oxygen or porn (i.e., common things). I think my Jedi mind power must have leaked out and contaminated BG's mother's mind with monkey bread, even though I'm still unclear about what it is. BG mom said, "Oh I call all twisted bread that" which was news to her daughter.

I think it might be a bit forward for the Blog to propose to BG instead of me. Now you ruined my hot air ballloon surprise. Good job Blog.

Only Sun subscribers are eligible for the secret dating service.

Ah, young love

No, monkey love.

monkey bread:

http://www.qffintl.com/pdf/apr_2007/images/Monkey%20Bread.jpg

Dare I ask, oh, what the heck .....Not knowing where OMG's family resides, I will ask anyway...Are there plans for a visit by Bourbon Girl with his family? I think this is so cute. Sorry OMG, I know that cute is not in keeping with your carefully crafted image.

Cute? Grrrr.....

Way to ruffle some feathers, Regina!

Please ruffle my feathers. I have no good ideas for tomorrow. Maybe a little agitation will inspire me.

Bucky--I am also ordained by the ULC. Amen, brother.

So, I'm guessing that OMG won't be having the band at the reception play Pat Boone's "Love Letters in The Sand."

Hey, Monkey Boy, notice how I did not use the dreaded Sandbox word in my post. It was out of deference to your sensitive nature.

I'm Rev. Bucky

Did you fill out the form (that used to be) on the back of Roling Stone?

Shoot! Bourbon Girl, you almost killed me with that mom/monkey bread business! I was making mental pictures and holding in laughter until my eyes almost exploded with tears so I went outside to laugh (being in Internet No-No Land, as I am) and then had to go around the corner from the smokers (a pretty darned nosy lot!) and by the time I let loose, I sounded like what's-his-name-the-blind-guy in Scent of a Woman

Dagnabit! That was close to sex!

Bourbon Girl,
I ordered some dried apricots on Sunday and they'll be here tomorrow. They are really good too!

Anonymous asked: Did you fill out the form (that used to be) on the back of Rolling Stone?

No, I got it on the internet. It was a boring afternoon. Then it turned into a running joke in a another blog I frequent. ("Come by Rev. Bucky's after woork...we just got a new shipment of communion wine...")

Then I was asked to officiate at the wedding of two employees who reported to me. That's where I drew the line.

There's enough residual Episcopalian left in me that while I can joke about the sacraments, I don't really think I ought to be going around administering them.

There might actually be a hell. No sense in taking chance by pushing a good joke too far.

I assisted at a wedding once. It was very strange. My first comment was, "you do know who I am, right?"

Then again, this was a guy who intentionally was married in clothing that, under the traditions of our religion, gave his wife a valid excuse to divorce him at any time. Which I thought was rather sweet.

Monkey Boy reporting for duty RtSO. Yes, and like god, I enjoy making something out of nothing. Call it a pet peeve. Bourbon Girl is currently on that magical road of discovery where she uncovers every nugget of neurosis. Lucky girl. Of course, that whole monkey bread incident kind of spooked me. God knows what will turn up at Thankgiving: zebra cakes, chimp-wiches, donkey loaf ....

Will you be using that $100 AFJ cash prize to buy the Sandbox's wedding gift if we're all invited? [;-)]

I'd say that if OMG and BG actually turn out to be real, separate people having an actual wedding, that would be a fine use of the prize money.

If we're invited.

How 'bout them O's?

It's kinda nice that at least in the blog world of D@L, BG won't have to change her towel monograms...

Patronymics for all! So much easier...

You too can be an ordained minister. (I became an ordained minister on September 5, 2007).

Here is the link.

BG won't have to change her towel monograms...

meaning?

Owl - dumb joke - OMG & BG - both ending with "G"...

I didn't think it was dumb. Between you and Hue, I've been cracking up a lot lately.

Joyce W - I didn't think it was dumb either (it is true, after all). And it was sweet. Like when you sent us songs for our dates.

Oh, monogrammed anything is beyond my understanding. I'm clueless about such things.

Bucky and Bourbon Girl, thanks for "un-dumbing" my little joke!

Owl, truly monogrammed anything is pretty out of date, I think. And, I must say, I'm truly enjoying your relationship with Bourbon Girl - I'm just a romantic at heart!

Not a dumb joke, just dumb me. The depths of my stupidity are limitless.

If Bourbon Girl decides to hyphenate, would that make her Bourbon Girl-Gravy?

Gravy is an honorific. She would be Boubon Girl-Meat.

Speaking of names, I read online that Sarah Palin wanted to have a baby boy and name it Zamboni. Not kidding.

Girl-Gravy has got to be the worst last name I've ever heard. Worse than my friend who's maiden name was Honky.

Speaking of names, I read online that Sarah Palin wanted to have a baby boy and name it Zamboni. Not kidding.

Not much worse than Trig, IMHO.

I'm sure BG will have something to say about the left turn this has taken Eve.

Gravy is an honorific. She would be Boubon Girl-Meat.

Wouldn't you be...oh, never mind.

Perhaps she will go with Bourbon Wife?

Or maybe just Bourbon Married Girl.

Or why not Bourbon Meat (nee Girl)?

the possibilities are endless.

Or just change it altogether and become Pistachio Girl?

the sky is the limit.

I wish you both only the best!

oh snap!

the perfect name - Bourbon Gravy!

I'll shut up now.

I don't believe in hyphenation. Or in women having to take the man's name. He can be Owl Meat Girl.

Bourbon Girl, very forward thinking but somehow I can't see it. Although it would push the "girls" way over the Roberts...

Would someone younger than me please explain what "oh snap!" means?

I agree with my Girl, hyphenation is for self-loathing pretentious English rat bastards, burnt out hippies, and other people with egocentric Messiah complexes.

I don't even like to have a name and would prefer that othe people didn't come with their own names. It's the lamest form of objectification. Names should naturally evolve. Giving yourself a name is the most pathetic form of god complex ever. Have you ever met anyone you respected who gave themselves a nickname? Hell no.

Owl Meat Girl? Oh snap! You will be punished for that. No treats for you this Halloween.

Hal--I doubt very much that I am younger than you are, but if you check the Urban Dictionary you find:

oh snap snap shit oh shit wow damn oh burn owned whoa crap oh my god f*ck oh zip holy shit zing ho oh no you didn't awesome bitch yeah idiot shocked oh god ...

Oh Hal, no you di'int! Don't make me deconstruct "oh snap", because I can do it and I will, but is it worth it? Haven't you ever seen a Whoopi Goldberg movie or any "urban" sitcom on the WB or UPN or Fox? It was already cliche in 1988 (ref: In Living Color).

I got an hour and a half deep tissue massage last night, so I am loose, clear headed and typing like a demon. Watch out Bourbon Girl! But first, some more cleansing herbal tea and a viewing of The Office from Bit Torrent.

Hal Laurent, VoR,

I'm 32 and I've never understood it. In fact, the only time I've ever "heard" it used is online. So I looked it up. Here you go, it's all way over my head:

Main Entry: oh snap

Part of Speech: interj

Definition: an exclamation of dismay or disbelief, surprise, or joy; a euphemism for 'oh, sh**'; also snap

Example: Oh, snap! There's a lottery ticket on the ground!

Etymology: possibly fr 'oh no you didn't'

Carey, that explanation is woefully lacking and sort of wrong.

omg,

Please explain. I still don't get it. I've never been one for "urban" sitcoms (we weren't allowed to watch them growing up).

could someone now explain the high-five to me?

cupofjoe - the high five (I think) is done and over. Now all the kids bang their fists together or in times of great excitement throw their entire bodies together like football players after a touchdown. I was never an accomplished high fiver - I always tended to miss the other persons hand...sigh. Such a klutz!

Joyce W--it's a fist bump--not a fist bang.

Oh yeah, the terrorist fist bump that Osama, I mean Obama does. Word.

-not a fist bang

I'm off researching yogurt and look what happens. McIntyre was right.

First bumping is so white mainstream now. You need to feed the chicken. Does everybody but me live in Del Boca Vista?

I hate to tell you this, but I saw Rachael Ray doing the feed the chicken thing with a guest on her show the other day.

Just sayin'...

Jeez, guys, give me a break! Now I have to ask you what the heck "feed the chicken" means!

I was at a Ravens game, and a woman wanted to give me "a potato", which was a fist bump. Never heard of it called a potato.

As for the chicken, I've heard of other things being done to the chicken, like choking it. :-) But I digress.

Oh sorry Hal, but if Rachel Ray is feeding the chicken then it is as dead as Abe Vigoda. You know how I'm sure Tupac is dead? Because his name backwards is Caput. See what I mean?