The concept of guest posters was born to
make the blogger's life easier introduce new voices and fresh ideas to the blog. For instance, your restaurant critic is not going to be writing much about hot dogs, and yet look! We have two posts about them in one week.
Notice the clever way I worked "hot dog" into the headline, even though as you read you will start to wonder where the hot dog comes in. That's because, as I explained when Bucky worried that Multimedia Editor Emeritus John had scooped him on Wednesday, hot dogs translate into more page views -- almost as many as Sarah Palin.
I can't bring myself to write about them as much as I should (although I'm not above eating one), so the more hot dog posts by others, the better.
However, this is a weird coincidence. Bucky sent me his thoughts last Saturday, long before he read John's post.
Could he actually be John?
One other thought: How many people know how old their toilets are?
Bucky, by the way, says he wants to be a recurring, but not regular, contributor.
Here's Bucky: ...
"First, by way of informative background:
1) I was an English major. I can combine 100 words in 1,000 different ways and, given the addition of a comma or two, create many compound-complex sentences, which I can then creatively arrange in lengthy paragraphs.
It is a skill. It is my skill. It is my only skill.
2) I am the least mechanical person you might ever meet. This is my fatal flaw.
My dad was a civil engineer. During his career he became an expert at designing and constructing double curvature, thin-arch concrete dams and the hydro-electric power plants that go with them.
My son is not only a math whiz who took classes like Trigonomic Calculus of Differential Equations with Multiple Stochastic Variables, but he can also disassemble and reassemble a computer without having a single left-over part.
I am a living, breathing example of generation-skipping.
I tell you this because tomorrow I’m going to overhaul the toilet in our guest bathroom.
Now, even though I’m not mechanical, I discovered somewhere along the way that Home Depot is the place to start when you have something other than say, Jell-O, that needs fixing. So last Saturday, in preparation for this week’s great home repair adventure, I drove to Home Depot and went to the plumbing department. I stood in the aisle until I was approached by of one of those manly men who know all about tools and lumber and valves and rotors and solvent and who know literally scores of ways to screw. And bolt. And nail.
The Home Depot guy walked up and asked me what kind of 'problem' I had.
I’ve learned in previous trips to Home Depot that the more comprehensive and precise you can be in the description of the 'problem,' the better your chances of being able to fix it without causing additional 'problems.' If you can be comprehensive and precise in the description of the 'problem,' you also increase the chances that you will purchase the right part and limit the number of return trips you need to make to Home Depot to some number represented by what my son, the math whiz, describes as a 'single digit.'
In previous attempts to fix a household 'problem,' I’ve actually spent more money for gas, going back and forth to Home Depot, than it would have cost to hire somebody to fix the 'problem' for me.
So I described the 'problem' to the Home Depot guy, and he told me I needed to replace the flush valve. He also asked me how old the toilet was; and when I told him it was 23 years old, he said I should just overhaul the entire toilet tank, rather than having to take it apart again to replace the fill valve when it goes out, which he indicated might be as soon as this weekend, during the fourth quarter of the Broncos game.
So, I bought a Fluidmaster Complete Toilet Tank Repair Kit. Tomorrow morning, the fun begins.
What, you ask, does this have to do with Dining@Large? An excellent question.
On the way back to the car, I bought two of those great $1 hot dogs from the hot dog cart out in the parking lot. I love those Home Depot hot dogs. Sometimes I go to Home Depot just to get a couple of those hot dog cart dogs, then I go wander around the tool section and think how nice it would be if I knew what any of those gadgets were used for.
So, the question today is, where do you find food in a place that has a totally non-culinary purpose and what kind of food do you find there?
If you have no answer for that, try the reverse. What odd non-food item have you ever gotten at a restaurant, bakery or bar?
If you don’t have an answer for that, tell us your favorite 'A guy walks into a bar…' joke."
[Editor's note: If you're not a regular, Bucky lives in Colorado, which is why he foolishly worries about missing part of the Broncos game. Also, please don't badger him about which Home Depot has the hot dog stand.]