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September 9, 2008

When locavorism goes too far

Costco.jpgThat headline was just to get you to read this. Locavorism can never go too far.

When I checked my voice mail this morning, there was a message from Gailor. The Perfect Roommate wanted me to know that the Evanston, Ill. Costco is selling heirloom tomatoes. She didn't say for how much. How weird is that?

I wonder what the cosmic implications of this are. Will the effete snobs stop buying heirlooms now that they are available to the masses? Will all Americans now realize that food with flavor is actually better than food that looks good?

Or will the tomatoes just sit there and rot, with no one buying, until Costco realizes it's made a cosmic mistake. ...

On a related subject, the Perfect Roommate has been cooking dinner for Gailor every night (thank God someone is), and the menus Gailor has described sound delicious. I've asked her to send me a week's worth, which might give some of us some inspiration.

OK, I'm not making the whole-wheat-crust pizza from scratch with avocado and tomato salad that they had last night -- nor can I conceive of doing so and being in your second week of business school -- but I like hearing about it.

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 8:46 AM | | Comments (88)
        

Comments

What is locavorism?

I know that Wal-Mart is jumping into organic foods, so clearly we are seeing a trend here.

Now, perhaps the trendy people will respond to having their turf trampled on by going in the other direction. Heirlooms and Organics will be left to the masses, while the elite will eat twinkies and pringles.

My wife found some heirloom tomatoes at the Whole Foods in Inner Harbor East labor day weekend.

Locavorism -- that's where I comb the local scene looking for tasty home-grown treats to bring back to my Nest of Iniquity to devour. Right Bourbon GIrl?

So what is Gailor doing in return for the Perfect Roommate's cooking?

That's what I hope she's going to tell us. EL

Owl, that's locovorism in your case. Imaginary relationships don't count. I'm not sure that you should associate too closely with anyone named Bourbon Girl, even if she did exist. Does she know how many times you've already been married?

Why do you always gravitate toward the crazies? Find someone nice like a Cheese Girl. Nobody ever got arrested for eating too much Camembert.

Slow your roll player; I would hate to see you fall apart from an imaginary divorce. We like scrappy independent OMG. I prescribe 10 CC's of "Love Will Tear Us Apart". This is the internet, Bourbon Girl could be dude. Don't you watch Dateline? I've said too much.

http://www.baltimoreeats.com/archives/OCT06/locavores.html

Here you go, Anonymous...everything you always wanted to know about the word locavore but never cared to ask!

Amanda C, who should know, wrote:... anyone named Bourbon Girl, even if she did exist... and Find someone nice like a Cheese Girl.

Does this mean that Bourbon Girl isn't real? That can't be. Can't be. And that Cheese Girl is not real? That might be; I've been wondering...

I have a more pressing issue, however, and this is as good a topic as any to discuss it.

Last night Mrs. Bucky yelled down to me from the kitchen, "What do you want for dessert?"

I replied, "A plate of brownies."

She brought me a brownie on a plate.

We ended up in a big argument about what, even in the most technical sense, constitutes "a plate of brownies."

Question: How many brownies are required to make it "a plate of brownies"?

Locavorism is only eating crazy things.

Personally, I lean toward the Star-Kist philosophy: I want tomatoes that taste good, not tomatoes with good taste. Heirloom, big boy, yellow, green, purple, organic, etc. If they aren't ripe and don't taste good, I don't want 'em, no matter what the pedigree.

Hi Celeste

Bucky -- And that Cheese Girl is not real? That might be; I've been wondering... As far as I can tell, I'm real. I can see my reflection in the mirror, so that counts, right? ; )

However, if you mean did I exist before becoming a "Girl" to counterbalance the proliferation of Roberts, well that's a rather existential question...I may have to ponder that later this evening with a glass of wine. (And cheese, of course.)

Hey Ron!

Cheese Girl - I said the other day that you were intriguing. You seemed far too comfortable to be new to the Sandbox and not frenetic enough to be...well, you know...one of our own feathered Sybils.

Bucky--about that plate of brownie(s)--when I was small my mother asked if I wanted one cheese sandwich or two. When I said two, she took her knife and cut my one sandwich into two pieces. Your wife obviously had the same training.

How many brownies are required to make it "a plate of brownies"?

Well at least two, otherwise it's just a plate of brownie.

Bucky -- I'd been reading along for some time before I ever posted. Then OMG said something like "If only Melted Cheese Girl would come along", and it was too tempting to resist. So I finally posted, choosing to be Cheese Girl. Owl then promptly posted the link to that charming ad of the little girl leering salaciously at a grilled cheese sandwich -- I walked right into that one.

As far as I can tell, my personality is singular. (However, if I did have alternate personalities, and they liked to play practical jokes on me, it sure would explain why at times I can't find my car keys.)

And, I might add, you fit in here right away. Hmmm....

Yes, Bucky did fit in immediately, Cheese Girl. What are you suggesting?
I truly hope Bucky is not yet another variant feathered personality.

Hal - it's got to be more than two, even. When you say, "A plate of brownies" there is an implied "full" after the word "plate", thusly: "I'll have a plate (full) of brownies." So the plate should be pretty much covered with an entire layer of brownies. At least.

Dahlink - how many times did your mother ask you that? Did she laugh every time?

Cheese Girl - I didn't really. It took some practice and even, still, on my bad days...

The blog is enhanced by your presence Fille de Fromage. I did momentarily suspect that I could conjure up interesting women just by wishing on a blog, but that is not so. I would wish for Wine Girl, but I'm afraid Whine Girl would show up and we've already had the displeasure of meeting.

Bucky (for some strange reason I was momentarily tempted to call you R. Buckminster Robert), I guess the mininum number depends on the size of the plate.

Bucky & OMG -- thanks for the kind thoughts. You have made this Girl feel most welcome.

Now it's time to uncork that nice little Grenache, get that smoked soft french cheese out of the fridge, and settle in for some serious existential thinking. Or not.

Mom only used that one on me once, Bucky. But she does like to use a small plate (for portion control) to this day.

Celeste,

Eating local has its advantages, but asserting on your website that eating local reduces global warming is like saying a bathtub can be emptied with a spoon.

According to a recent study, only 11% of an average food's global warming impact is associated with transportation. The single largest contributor to global warming gases (even more than any SUV) is meat, pure and simple. Local meat, cross-country meat, it doesn't matter. Meat = global warming. Reducing global warming means eating less (or no) meat.

With all due respect Mark, that sounds like a bunch of BS propaganda.

And don't pick on Celeste, we like her.

The assertion that 'Meat = global warming' is laughable. Its not the nice raw (or cooked) cuts of meat that cause global warming. I assume the canard you are making is the methane gas generated by the animals from which meat comes. Get your cause and effects, if not your science, correct.

Is cross-country meat worse planet-wise than cross-ocean carnitized antibioticized frozen Chinese shrimp transported by Diesel-powered freighters, then tractor-trailers and refrigerated every step? Anyone gotten a taste of that MD farm-raised shrimp?

I swear (although I cannot find on google) that it was a study by a US Gov't agency that "found" that cow farts cause global warming. Nah, that's just too silly. It had to be Seinfeld.

I try to eat local food when I can, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

Last week we had a southern-hemisphere spring dinner of rack of lamb (from either New Zealand or Australia, I forget which) with rosemary mustard sauce, and asparagus from Peru (or was it Chile?)

At least the French rolls were made here in Baltimore (by me), and the rosemary came from our backyard.

Eve -- the EPA does link cattle to the production of methane. However, as the current administration doesn't believe in global warming, the EPA website, predictably, avoids that term. There was a 2006 study, by the UN's Food and Agricultural Organization, linking cattle, methane, and global warming, as to which see here.

thanks voodoopork. I'm feeling safer in the sandbox with bodyguards like you in here! ;)

I think the cow-methane link is through belching as the various stomachs digest the grass or whatever else the cow is eating. Take it from an Old Fart, the stuff coming out the other end is not methane.

Voodoopork,

What you choose to believe is your business. If you want to believe the earth is flat, you have that choice, but facts are facts. The earth is, in fact, not flat, and meat does in fact contribute the single largest component of global warming. Don't believe it? See the UN's report "Livestock's Long Shadow" released 11/2006, which stated that 18% of all GHG (the largest part) is from meat.
Also see a German report issued last month at foodwatch.de

For transport data, see an article by C. Weber of Carnegie Mellon University in Environmental Science & Technology at dx.doi.org/10.1021/es702969f. To quote the author "Eating less red meat and dairy can be a more effective way to lower an average U.S. household's food-related climate footprint than buying local food". Transport contributes only 11% of food-related greenhouse emissions. 83% is related to cultivation and harvest.

Robert, it's all the parts of meat production: growing 80% of all
crops to feed animals + methane gas production from the animals + gases from the waste + gases from vehicles to spread the waste.

Has locavorism gone too far? To the extent it has been glorified as a cure for food-related emissions at the expense of eating a low-carbon (plant-based) diet, yes, locavorism has gone too far.

Don't poke the pork. He wields a fierce statistical battle axe. We've gone at it many times. I kind of doubt he would bother though.

Owl,

He or she that poketh or make other claims shall not receive blanket protection when he or she becomes the target of a suitable response. And if he or she that poketh is truly worthy and can support claims with data, then let him or her defend him or herself.
Additionally, I also recently read something about freedom of speech, which I believe applies to all, not just to those who take the politically popular opinions. Thus, any requests to lay off are inappropriate.

The condescending pseudo-Biblical verbs are quite appropriate, since the original post is just dogma in search of data to prop it up. When you start with the conclusion, the evidence is useless. Right you are Owl, it's not worth the effort. I'm going back to your sandwich post.

St. Mark, requests to lay off, shut your pie hole, simmer down, etc. are also covered under the First Amendment, although I didn't see any such requests. This is a haven for lunatics. We welcome all. Thanks for the flat earth discussion. Not relevant, but reassuring. Now I don't have to watch the ground so closely when I'm walking.

Don't forget that you are a net CO2 producer. What are you going to do about that?

Mark, if you are going to write like an Apostle, you should consider what your Maker intends.

1) As many people as the Earth can hold
2) All the meat that they need to live. God loves meat, so should people.
3) God praised Abel for his sacrificial offering of a slaughtered animal and scorned Cain for his vegetarian offering.
4) Ipso facto, God wants us to use up all the resources of the Earth and then he will bring forth the Kingdom of Heaven.
5) The Earth and all its resources were created for us to enjoy and exploit. We are not here for the Earth. It is just material for our journey. God can always make another.
6) All this concern for the material Earth is a kind of shallow egotism. The physical world should not be worshipped, it is ephemeral.
7) Now I rest and eat some lamb.

I thought the world is cooling now, hence climate change instead of global warming. Eat a donkey and provide your own private carbon footprint on the road to extinction!! WOO-HOO, Smoke up Johnny!

I remember years ago seeing something on CNN re dinosaurs producing so much methane gas that it changed the atmosphere. In essence, the dinosaurs farted themselves to death.

I have no idea if that's true, but I choose to believe it, becuase I've rarely laughed that hard while watching the news.

According to VP nominee Sarah Palin, dinosaurs existed 4000 years ago, so ... I forget my point.

Sparky, global cooling is s-o-o-o 1970s. If you want to be popular you've got to believe in whater is popular and current. Me, I believe I'll have another diet soda.

The point, voodoopork, for Sarah Palin, if I understand her correctly, is that it's all God's Plan.

Dahlink -- The point, voodoopork, for Sarah Palin, if I understand her correctly, is that it's all God's Plan. I'm watich her right now with Charlie Gibson -- Lord, that woman talks with her hands a lot.

Okay - I'll bite (as it were). How does Perfect Roommate manage to cook dinner every night and carry a full course load? (Ha ha, I made a foodie funny.) Am I missing something? Perhaps I should check out the links ...

In the meantime, I am accepting applications for my own perfect roommate as I search for a job. You don't even have to cook!

watich -- that should have "watching". That's what I get for trying to watch the news and blog at the same time.

Oh, and Yehah! She wants to go to war with Russia.

Poketh?

I can't stop giggling.

I vow to use that word in a sentence at least 10 times tomorrow at the office. Friday kicks.

How does Perfect Roommate manage to cook dinner every night and carry a full course load?

It's not that hard to get a decent home-cooked dinner on the table in an hour or less, at least once one learns some basic techniques. I do it here most nights.

So, Piano Rob, i don't have to cook? does that mean you'll cook for ME, AND potentially play the piano while we're eating? Your name IS Piano Rob. If I moved in with you, I would expect nothing less...

Oh Bourbon Girl, why do you taunt my raptor soul?

Don't forget to meeteth me down by the pylons. Ow!

I'll say one thing: the Republican-fascist model has taught you well. Hit first with personal opinions, insults and baseless accusations. Argue over semantics and without any actual facts to support you---just like St. Sarah the Pit Bull---God Bless Her.

When the opposition responds, accuse them of dirty politics and hitting below the belt. Claim the righteous label of victimhood and cry into your towel. Between your sobs, pronounce your purity and innocence, and claim that your work is part of God's plan. When you stop crying, immediately and directly question the character and patriotism of those who disagree.

After all, the right to an 85 oz. steak will be amended to the Constitution, right before the Bushies leave office. Anyone stupid enough to challenge will be subject to "rendition" and re-education in internment camps, where they re-learn how to kill for pure pleasure.

How stupid of me to actually consider my opinions as worthwhile. Thanks to most of you for re-educating me. I'm sure I will be the subject of a rendition to one of these internment camps very soon, so I better go pack....

Hmmmm, this blog is dining@politics? So Mark, know your role, before Sarah Palin (God's Luca Brasi) layeth the smackdown on your taketh yourself too serious tofu boy. IF YOU SMELL WHAT BARACK IS COOKING!!!!

Naturemade: Certainly I'll be playing the piano - probably as the microwave is working. But I'm sure that Horowitz never played as he ate. Perhaps after-dinner music with brandy might be more appropriate?

Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey campers. Somebody had a grumpy night!

Camper Mark, I don't understand. You seem to be responding to non-existent slings and arrows. Name calling? Aw, I haven't been a fascist since I stopped controlling the means of production via my invisible secret government. Too busy with harmonica lessons! :)

Seems to yours truly that if you are against the right to have an 85 oz steak (Sweet sassy molassey, that's almost five pounds!), right, so if you're against that right, which already exists, doesn't that mean you want to take away an existing freedom? Oh, that's not very nice. That's sounds a little ... oh heck, I can't think of the word.

If you are going to tickle my shins with the Constitution, you should study it. It's a beautiful document and quite short. A real masterpiece of political philosophy in action. 85 oz. steaks are already allowed, since they are not prohibited. Are you suggesting that a woman has the right to have an abortion, but not be allowed to have a nice steak afterwards? Why in this Land of the Free, you can eat a whole barbecued kangaroo if you want. Or become a professional yo-yo enthusiast. Or just a big old Mr. Crabby-pants ;)

I welcome your opinions. Don't take your dolly and run away to internment camp - I hear that the leather-crafting program hs been eliminated and that Mr. Bandydarn no longer takes you on those cool overnight canoe treks on the lake. Take a deep breath. Stay at Camp Sandbox and try our yoga classes. They really open up your mind. Okely dokely?

Time for morning sing-along campers:
(Now if the word God makes you uncomfortable, you can substitute "Higher Power" like we do in AA or Buddha or Muhammad or Moses)

As-Salamu Alaykum!

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage
Where the grapes of wrath are stor'd;
He hath loos'd the fateful lightning
Of His terrible swift sword:
His truth is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watchfires
Of a hundred circling camps,
They have builded Him an altar
In the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence
By the dim and flaring lamps:
His day is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have read a fiery gospel
Writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with My contemners,
So with you My grace shall deal:"
Let the Hero born of woman
Crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet
That shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men
Before His judgment seat.
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him!
Be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

In the beauty of the lilies
Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom
That transfigures you and me;
As He died to make men holy
Let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

See, Global Warming has now become Climate Change, which is quite adaptable. If it gets warmer, well that's climate change and something must be done to stop it. if it gets colder, well that's climate change and something must be done to stop it. Rains more or less than last year, well you get the picture.

As to Palin and war with Russia, I think we should not take that out of context. The statement was couched. If a NATO county was attacked by Russia, then we would have to defend that country. Now, we can have a argument over whether a country, such as Georgia, should be let into a NATO, but if Georgia were in NATO and attacked by Russia I can't see how we couldn't respond. And if we didn't respond, we would have to disband NATO because at that point what's point of keeping the alliance around.

Yeah
Can you feel it baby
I can too

Come on swing it [4 times]

1-2-3 - Now we come to the pay off

It's such a good vibration
It's such a sweet sensation [2 times]

Yo! It's about that time
To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
I'ma get mine so get yours
I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores
On the house tip is how I'm swingin' this
Strictly Hip-Hop boy, I ain't singin' this
Bringing this to the entire nation
Black, white, red, brown
Feel the vibration

Come on come on
Feel it feel it
Feel the vibration

(Chorus)

Vibrations good like Sunkist
Many wanna know who done this
Marky Mark and I'm here to move you
Rhymes will groove you
And I'm here to prove to you
That we can party on the positiive side
And pump posititve vibes
So come along for the ride
Making you feel the rhythm is my occupation
So feel the vibration

Come on come on
Feel it feel it
Feel the vibration

(Chorus)

Donnie D break it down

Donnie D's on the back up
Drug free, so put the crack up
No need for speed
I'm the anti D-R-U-G-G-I-E my
Body is healthy
My rhymes make me wealthy
And the Funky Bunch helps me
To bring you a show with no intoxication
Come on feel the vibration

Yeah
Can you feel it baby
I can too

(Chorus)

Now the time has come for you to get up
The rest had you fed up but Yo, I won't let up
On the rhythm and rhyme that's designed to
Make your behind move to what I'm inclinced to
Pure Hip Hop, no sell out
If you ain't in it to win it
Then get the hell out
I command you to dance
I wanna see motivation
Come on now feel the vibration

{Piano solo}

It's such a good vibration
Come on come on come on
It's such a sweet sensation
Feel it feel i

It's such a good vibration
Come on come on come on
It's such a sweet sensation
Feel it feel it

Good morning Mark. I'm sorry you're having a tough time of it here sweetie. It seems like you're spoiling for a tussle. Correct me if I'm wrong but you seem to have very strong feelings about meat and meat eaters. If you want to play rough, people will play rough, but maybe not in the style that you want them to. I guess it's like what they call mixed martial arts(?). Anyhow, people can be very spirited here, especially if they think you want to condemn them for something they love. Perhaps it's best not to set up straw men like your 85 ounce steak. You know people don't really eat that. Today is a new day and let's all start over. It's gonna be a great day too.

Okay, Mr. Mark the best thing for you (to stay out of the camps) is to put on that lapel flag pin. Once again the magic of the flag pin proves you are a right thinking Repub-bot. You might also do a little dumpster diving and get some double cheeseburger wrappers to litter in the back of you car. This will also help you avoid re-education. No on said the goon squads were bright. Oh, and may I have my 85 oz. steak rare? A couple of onion rings on the side?

SarahKK...where are you and American Idol when I really need you?

Why 85 ounces? That seems random. Now all this talk by Mark about steak has made me really hungry for some steak. If an 85 ounce steak existed, what cut of meat would it be?

Do you eat smaller steaks Mark? Or are you a vegan/vegetarian/ovo-lacto-pesco-apio-tarian who sometimes eats chicken? I think that you will find that you are barking at the wrong crowd here if you think we are people who eat massive amounts of poor quality factory farmed meats. This has always been a place that supports humane and healthy meats. With enough spoons you can empty that bathtub. Moo.

RoCK -- Yea, I know I over simplified there (and I doubt she actually wants to go to war with Russia). I was just mesmerized by all that punching the air with her fists.

Terriermom,

Thanks for trying to start things over. I appreciate the sentiment, honestly. I'm not spoiling for a tussle. I started with facts. I thought others would reply with facts or serious questions. I admit that appeared to be an unreasonable expectation. Those who don't have any facts replied with personal attacks, claims of "BS propaganda" and God's plan. Notice how not a single poster challenged a single fact I stated. Not a single person said something like, "I read the article, but I still disagree, or why is that?" No one asked how they can enjoy a burger and still be green (actually possible). That would've been fine. I don't condemn those who consider all sides and have a different conclusion. People can disagree and they can do it without kicking the opposition. But not many here, apparently.

I don't condemn meat eaters. Actually, many of them are friends and relatives, who at the very least are indifferent---which actually is an improvement over those who claim to give a damn (being here), then kick the opposition. Not to say I can't improve my response to those who kick. I tend to kick back, then get responses like these. I guess that only goes to show the violence in human nature, and like many others, I respond in kind.

To those innocent souls, my apologies for stooping to the level of some here.
I should know better.

And people are served steaks that size at some expensive steak houses, to whom I won't give free promotion.

See, here's the problem, Mr Mark: preach though you may, you ain't no Martin Luther King and its BORING. I don't dispute you facts, but its soooo unlikely that on an ostensible food blog you are going to convert the majority of contributors to a meatless regiment. I still want my 85 oz. steak, but I have done the meatless thing for several Lents. I'm no better person for it, I just made up for lost burgers during the Great 50 Days.

You have the fervor of a fanatic (and I mean that in the kindest fashion, really) but no one but other fanatics like a fanatic. Now, if you had presented your argument in terms of farting cows and spewing diesel exhaust you would have had a better shot. The Sandbox loves farts and some members will go out of their way to work a good fart into a comment. (Notice how I did that several times? Of course, my dear Dahlink will chide me for crudeness.) So, be entertaining and you can even say nice things about Caribou Barbie.

First a correction. One person did reply with a legitimate question early on. Thanks Robert.

And now a 2nd legit question from RevEd: I'm a vegan, but being vegan isn't required. Eating plant-based is---that means plant foods dominate by providing a large amount, (say at least 80%) of the calories. Since an estimated 83% of meat-related emissions are generated in production, not transport, replacing factory farmed with local steak and chicken is not sufficient. Admittedly, there may be production differences, but these were taken into account in the studies reported above.

And humane and healthy does not equal green. Few producers who make humane/healthy claims also claim that they take specific actions which are documented to better protect water supplies from bacterial or sediment erosion, prevent animals from damaging stream banks, use less feed per animal, spread only the amount of animal waste which the soil can absorb before the next rain, capture the methane from waste ponds, ensure that waste storage facilities are secure, etc. Being small and local doesn't mean you don't contribute to a waste lagoon which can break, as happened in NC in 1995, spreading 25 million gallons of hog waste across the landscape.

I see lots of claims of humane and healthy, but no verifiable data of improved environmental protection.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

If you march into a room full of nails swinging a giant hammer, expect some pricks.

Robert,

I never claimed to be MLK. And I didn't know blogs were for entertainment. If you find me boring, I'm sorry, but that's not my problem.

And if you go back to my first post, you'll notice I said "less meat". That's a lot different from the "meatless" claim you think I made.

See my post of 12:31 today.

RtSO--no chiding for "crudeness." You get a free pass from me this time around. It's Friday and we have more Sarah Palin coming up at 6:30--I can hardly wait! But then I watch every State of the Union address as well ... Call it morbid fascination.

Dahlink, its like watching a car/BIG truck wreck. Except we're in the Cooper Mini. But, hey if the top of the ticket can have a 100-year war, what's a little war with Russia? (And all who were going to say I mis-quote or mis-represent, its closer to accurate than 99% of the LIES coming from Old Guy & Caribou Barbie, so save your typing finger.)

Here's a fun little tidbit -- the Secret Service code name for Todd Palin is "Driller".

Mark, it doesn't matter. You are a pussy

oh today was fun..

He or she that poketh with the vending machine when the treat shan't fall shall face certain death by shaking the machine

How darest thou poketh with my office plant Bucky! I swear I watered that thing last month. Leave him be.

Can you believe how he flirts with her? And she with him? He shall poketh her before the full moon rises again. I just know it. And it shall be most scandalous.

Yeah, this guy I know, he peels grapes for me, but he poketh about, takes the boy forever. I must do something about that.

... the Secret Service code name for Todd Palin is "Driller".

Driller - That should be the baby daddy's name. Bam!

BG, the anticipation builds. You sure haveth pokitude on your mind. Maybe you should see someone about it (me). If you're lucky I will introduce you to my little friend Pokey tonight. Meet me in the booth in the back in the corner in the dark. I'll smoking Newport Menthols and wearing a yellow cotton windbreaker and red beanie. And an ascot. And a velvet eye patch. I don't think I even need the Axe body spray tonight. I'll just go with my musky natural pheromones and gritty anecdotes of my time in a Burmese prison. I will have a flagon of Maker's Mark ready. And you better not be a dude.

Bourbon Girl's prose reminds me of a favorite passage in old medieval history book. At some point Charlemagne is made to say, "It irketh me ..." Yes, it irketh me, too.

Sparky, you're better than that.

And I didn't know blogs were for entertainment.

Mark, really? Then you must be completely unfamiliar with this blog and one wonders how you ended up here. Even so, did you read the comments made before you posted? Here are some of the serious un-fun topics we tackled in our serious blog: how many brownies make a plate of brownies, the genesis of (Melted) Cheese Girl, the twisted love-hate affair between Owl Meat and Bourbon Girl, the nature of the Gyno-bots vs the Rob-bots, riffing on 10CC and Joy Division, etc. Doesn't any of that stuff give you a hint that fun can be had on a blog, this one, right here, right now?

In your initial post you said that a bathtub can't be emptied with a spoon. That my friend is false. I tried it last night. It works.

Maybe there are no other fun blogs. There certainly are some over-serious ones. But didn't you guess something different was happening when someone posted the lyrics to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations"?

If you were more familiar with the blog you would know that "Reverend" Ed is most irreverent and that he was (I think) making fun of evangelical extremists by simply stating their views. On another day he might be extolling the virtues of Saigon b-girls during the war. Know your audience.

We share info, discuss important topics, argue about silly things, veer off track into silly things and serious things. It's like a dinner party among friends. It starts with food and grows from there. And sometimes you just gotta dance.

Feel the vibrations. Break it down....

the genesis of (Melted) Cheese Girl

Makes me feel like a Super-Hero, or something. Then again, I do have that cheese cave.

Dahlink -- in somewhat more modern times, P.D.Q. Bach's oratorio The Seasonings includes a recitative with the immortal line, "Soothsayer, say unto me the sooth." Also, the open title card in Mel Brooks's Spaceballs includes the sentence, "Unbeknownst to the princess but knownst to us, danger lurks in the stars above..."

I'm a bit distressed by the pile on to Mark. I disagree with Mark, and he did show up reeking of PETA propaganda, but the group think attack is not the kind of behaviour I like seeing here.

There have been no facts exchanged on either side and a lot of mudslinging. Neither side, for the most part, has been willing to have a discussion of the environmental impact of meat eating.

I eat meat, but there is an environmental impact to that decision.

I expect polarized name calling on other blogs, but not here. I hope this was a rare occurance.

Ms Lissa, I'm not trying to pile on Mr Mark. I don't dispute that eating anything has an environmental impact, meat or not (if nothing else there is that pesky problem of waste disposal, since we all can't go bury it in the backyard we don't have.) I don't dispute any of the assertion Mr Mark makes (they are probably generally correct, although there is so much bad science out there.) No, generally, my point was and is that the presentation is BORING (despite Mr Mark's denial). This is the Sandbox. We have higher standards and always hope for a modicum of entertainment, especially if a contentious assertion is being made.

Its this principal that kept me from responding to Mr Mark's last post. He's become tedious, not understanding what several of us are trying to say, now I'm bored.

Having said that, you are an honoured member of the Sandbox and have raised a valid issue. I hope you don't think I was name calling in my use of 'fanatic.' Mr Mark's arguments are such that only another like-minded advocate would be nodding in agreement. Finally, to come to a food blog (well it is, sort of) and advocate for limiting foods that might be consumed is dangerous, and I'm sorry: silly. Think of the reaction if it were suggested that liquor (hard or wine) not be consumed. Running and ducking would not be enough.

And now, since this is becoming tedious and BORING, I'm finished. Back to Google looking for a propeller kit i might be able to super glue to a bowler.

Thank you. Lissa! Let's remember that this blog values civility. We're big enough to make room for the meat-eaters and the vegans alike.

hmpstd--I thought I was the only person over 12 who (kind of) enjoyed Spaceballs just for that kind of inspired silliness.

Civility is essential. I couldn't agree more, but when someone seemingly unfamiliar with our community slaps us across the face with bag a full of "facts", tells us that we are wrong about everything and need to change our stupid ways, well ... I don't care.

For transport data, see an article by C. Weber of Carnegie Mellon University in Environmental Science & Technology at dx.doi.org/10.1021/es702969f.

I was told there would be no homework on the blog.

I personally don't care what Mark's facts are because if they didn't exist he would still want us to change anyway. Such is the nature of these food Puritans - if they deny themselves something then they want everybody else to suffer with them.

I don't know about you but this is tedious. I need some Calvin Harris to get my mojo back. Oh. Oh.

Lissa -- unfortunately, every so often, the Sandbox gets invaded by zealots of a given persuasion, who single-mindedly press a given argument while attacking their opponents, and all without the apparent benefit of a sense of humor. (Search the D@L archives for "foie gras", and you'll see what I mean.)

Take the current topic. In response to a request from Anonymous for a definition of locavorism, Celeste of Baltimore Eats linked to a B-Eats article on locavorism. (Given what the Sandbox has said in the past about B-Eats and its reliance on exclamation points, it's gratifying that Celeste still joins us, but I digress.) The B-Eats article observed that locavorism can reduce the use of fossil fuels for long-range food transportation, thereby resulting on "less global warming" -- a fairly benign observation, IMHO.

In response, Mark slammed Celeste with his comment that "asserting on your website that eating local reduces global warming is like saying a bathtub can be emptied with a spoon." Judging from Mark's slam, one might have thought that Celeste had called locavorism the one and only solution to global warming (which, of course, was not the case at all). Mark could have made his point (that meat consumption contributes more to global warming) without making it a personal attack on Celeste. By choosing the latter path, he provoked the wrath of the Sandbox.

I loved Spaceballs.

I'm not a nice person. Nor am I usually civil. Which is, perhaps, why I was surprised. I don't mean to pin anything on anyone, was trying to be general. Some piled on, some didn't, and Mark rubbed me the wrong way, too.

For added fun, look up the etymology of "nice", and what it originally meant.

"I'm not a nice person. Nor am I usually civil" - Lissa, lol, you must be an honest person though!

You mean "wanton" and "dissolute"?

And we all agree that commenters who "provoke the wrath of the Sandbox" should put in their place.

No, wait. I have a better idea. Let's take them out back and shoot them, instead.

Bucky, Bucky, Bucky--time for some attitude adjustment!

Dahlink - it is, indeed.

Joyce, alas, I'm too much of an introvert to be wanton and dissolute. It sounds like such fun, too.

Ma, Pa, come quick, someone done shot Bucky down by the corrale. Send for Doc Kincaid.

Makes me wonder how much produce goes to waste.

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.
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