Funtastic Seinfeld food moments
For today's Funtastic Thursday, Owl Meat has done a great roundup of fantastic food moments on Seinfeld.
At least I think it's a great roundup because I never saw an episode of Seinfeld.
What I was struck by was how many of these I had heard about anyway.
Here's the Owl Man:...
"The Jerk Store is Out of You
After two weeks of actual writing, I thought I would take a different route today. Has there been a non-cooking television show that featured food more prominently than Seinfeld? I think not. In a show that dwelled on the minutiae of daily life, food was front and center.
The show was so food-centric (McIntyre just felt a twinge) that many episode titles are about food:
16 The Chinese Restaurant (5/23/91)
17 The Busboy (6/26/91)
24 The Cafe (11/6/91)
31 The Pez Dispenser (1/15/92)
60 The Junior Mint (3/18/93)
65 The Mango (5/16/93)
71 The Non-Fat Yogurt (11/4/93)
77 The Dinner Party (2/3/94)
79 The Pie (2/17/94)
88 The Big Salad (9/29/94)
93 The Soup (11/10/94)
107 The Fusilli Jerry (4/27/95)
116 The Soup Nazi (11/2/95)
120 The Gum (12/14/95) [Food or not? A Seinfeldian discussion.]
121 The Rye (1/4/96)
130 The Calzone (4/25 /96)
142 The Chicken Roaster (11/14/96)
155 The Muffin Tops (5/8/97)
157 The Butter Shave (9/25/97)
163 The Slicer (11/13/97)
People said that it was a show about nothing, but it was a show about everything. Some say that the characters were shallow overaged adolescents obsessed with nonsense. I disagree. Here are some of the topics of discussion at the Owlgonquin Roundtable™ this week: buying a shower curtain on the internet, crushed versus cubed ice, whether Coke is better out of a can or bottle, why ice is a ridiculous invention and why I threw out my ice cubes trays, what's the deal with spelt, storing ice in Zip-Loc bags, and what's the difference between a shower curtain and a shower liner.
Often food and restaurants were supporting amusements, but sometimes they were plot centerpieces.
I present for your perusal and commentary a Seinfeld culinary bestiary:
(1) Marble Rye (Episode title: The Rye) Plus "Beefarino" and Rusty the horse.
(2) Soup Nazi (The Soup Nazi)
(3) Is soup a meal? Kenny Banya. (The Soup)
(4) Special duck, make own your pizza, abortion and hand washing. (The Couch) Deft social commentary spoken by morons:
POPPIE: (...) but we cannot give the people the right to choose any topping they want! Now on this issue there can be no debate!
KRAMER: What gives you the right to tell me how I would make my pie?
POPPIE: Because it's a pizza!
KRAMER: It's not a pizza until it comes out of the oven!
POPPIE: It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!
KRAMER: No, it isn't!
POPPIE: Yes, it is! (...)
(5) Muffin stumps (The Muffin Tops) Elaine's old boss opens Top of the Muffin to You.
A homeless shelter employee named Rebecca DeMornay scorns their 'muffin stumps.' In case you are out of the hipster doofus loop, a 'muffin top' now signifies the roll of fat that a woman has when she's wearing tight pants and a tragically short shirt. 30 Rock exploited this when a character says that her dance club single 'Muffin Top' was on the charts in Israel.
(6) The Deli Slicer (The Slicer)
Kramer trades in his sausage press for a deli slicer. Possible uses: meat so thin that it's invisible, trimming Elaine's uneven heels, slicing meat for the cat next door to Elaine, food for Elaine when she locks herself in her apartment, and Dr. Van Nostrin's intended surgical tool for getting a section of Mr. Krueger's mole. A man with a lot of potatoes lives near Elaine also.
(7) Fusilli Jerry (The Fusilli Jerry)
(8) Lobster in the Hamptons (The Hamptons) Purloined lobsters, 'shrinkage,' George's lobster omelet hate crime, and Hampton tomatoes.
(9) Mr. Pitt eats a Snickers bar with a knife and fork (The Pledge Drive)
(10) Poppy seed muffin (The Shower Head)
J. Peterman: 'I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium...That's right. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally...The dark continent is no place for an addict, Elaine.'
(11) George eats a chocolate éclair from the trash (The Gymnast)
Jerry Seinfeld: So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."
George Louis Costanza: No, no, no. It was not trash.
Jerry Seinfeld: Was it in the trash?
George Louis Costanza: Yes.
Jerry Seinfeld: Then it was trash.
George Louis Costanza: It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top.
Jerry Seinfeld: But it was in the cylinder.
George Louis Costanza: Above the rim.
Jerry Seinfeld: Adjacent to refuse is refuse.
George Louis Costanza: It was on a magazine, and it still had the doily on.
Jerry Seinfeld: Was it eaten?
George Louis Costanza: One little bite.
Jerry Seinfeld: Well, that's garbage.
George Louis Costanza: But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt.
Jerry Seinfeld: You, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum
And so many more."
(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)