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August 14, 2008

The Owl's Restaurant/Food Crossword Puzzle

He's baaaack. Just when you thought it was safe to read this blog again.
I have the feeling this puzzle is going to be hard. (I haven't tried it, so that's just a guess.) I would suggest, if everyone gets stuck, after a reasonable amount of time you magnanimously share answers below and split the magnificent gift basket when you win.
Now here's Owl Meat Gravy:
Welcome back to Funtastic Thursdays.  As you can see Snickers has been captured by some weird cult that worships a demented anthropomorphic locomotive. 
For my return I created a crossword puzzle especially for Dining@Large.  I don't do this professionally, so it doesn't have the symmetric design that the pros use.  What it does have is a lot of food-related clues and answers and some that are specific to Dining@Large.  Beware, the clues are very Owl Meaty.
This week's prize is tremendous.  I have assembled a gift basket that includes:
(1) Some scrumptious Sylvester Stallone pudding because when I think tasty pudding, I think Sly Stallone.
(2) Play-Doh-scented cologne to attract ladies who are, uh,  ... ovulating?
(3) Cheetos-flavored lip balm because why not?
(4) NASCAR Tony Stewart branding iron for all your NASCAR-specific branding needs. ...
Posted by Elizabeth Large at 10:44 AM | | Comments (34)


Those parents were probably cool at one time, then children come and subject parents to the evils of Thomas the Train, The Wiggles, Handy Manny and the ultimate evil in the world......TELETUBBIES!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah Sparky? Well, where does horse thievin' fit into that subtopian scheme of things? And what's with the red shirts? Some sort of pre-school paramilitary group? Has the Shining Path resurfaced in the suburbs to spew a new brand of terror by brainwashing ponies to be assassins? You tell me!

Is that the real Owl Meat family above?

OMG, you don't know the half of what the suburbs will do to a man. Playdates, Bloomin' Onions, Kohls, Minivans, Bumper stickers bragging your punk kid is an honor student, people speeding in parking lots,,,,and worst of all....NASCAR!!! So don't be surprised if they want to exchange Snickers for Gift Certificates to PF Changs or some pre-apocalyptic retail establishment like IKEA

I've got all but one letter (the first letter of 27 down).

Addendum: I finally figured out the last letter.

I'm about halfway done the puzzle, Owl Meat did a great job. Some are real head-scratchers!

Man I sure hope I win. I am stuck on just one.


1. Large
6. Owl
9. Mean
13. Oleos
14. Roo
15. Echo
16. its
17. Tsingtao
20. Nothing
22. Sad
23. Armoir
25. Turk
28. USA
29. Newer elk
31. Err
33. Trader
35. I have SNEW
36. Sea
37. Eel
38. Play
39. Send
41. Ossetias (not sure its right, but fits)

1. Loin
2. Alto
3. Restaurant
4. Go
5. Estimate
6. Originals
7. Won
8. Logs
9. Mead
10. Eco
11. Ah
12. Tofurkey
18. Sno
19. Tater
21. HRS
24. Red
25. Tesla
26. Ulnas
27. Sessa
30. Were
32. Reel
34. REO
38. Pi
40. DE
42. Alter

Now I'm about 2/3 done, but I'm getting pretty bogged down...

dcdiva -- your 9-Across should be meaT, but I assume that's a typo, since your 12-Down is Tofurkey. 41-Across should be osTeRias.

"Lake of Fire Thanksgiving entree"? Funny. I don't think that's a strict interpretation of Dante.

crud. i realize I have a typo. Mean=Meat. Although killing a lamb is mean, so it could go either way.

Dcdiva, if 12 down is "tofurkey," 9 across must be "meat" (which kind of is what Abel lost when Cain slew him).

I also thing 41 across is "osterias," since there are Italian restaurants with the word "Osteria" in their names.

Thanks so much for the osterias, hmpstd. THAT WAS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!

If you read the top three across answers you will see our host and yours truly.

And no that is not my family. I fly alone. It's probably some depraved bloomin' onion eating Maoists who have a couple of cats now and secretly refer to themselves as Meowists. I think I saw the dude on Cops recently.

Hmmmm.... I may have to make the next one harder (if there is a next one; it's not so easy to do.) Expect clues like: What color am I think about right now or Name of imaginary animal I just made up or Random collection of letters. Well done groms.

I have a notion to do an all sushi crossword, but I think it might be too hard. Nah, Team Large can do it.

It's "MEAT" because that's what Abel sacrificed to Yahweh and he was pleased. Cain's offering was vegetarian in nature and Yahweh was displeased. Then Cain killed Abel. And that's why God hates vegetarians.

Woo hoo! Funtastic Thursday was promo'd on the home page for the first time. Blogtastic!

Rev'Ed's explanation of Cain and Abel would be incomplete without a link to the appropriate page of the Brick Testament. For the complete Cain and Abel story, start here (WARNING: Lego parental advisory).

RevEd wrote And that's why God hates vegetarians. And now I'm more sure than ever that our own RevEd isn't really a man of the cloth.

Owl Meat,
Thanks for the crossword, it was well done and much better than having do the actual work I'm paid to do!

OMG - is that what you've been doing in the eternity during which you disappeared? looks like quite a bit of work for you, and quite a bit of fun for for us to play.

too bad i had to work all day, and then had to go to happy hour. the answers were posted before i could even begin to play. (though I did see the post on my palm at, coincidentally, the Owl Bar, and you were appropriately toasted).

what about the crazy happy banana thing with the hoola hoop? don't you think you've teased us long enough?

Thanks for playing yesterday. I wasn't sure if anyone would like it, but I am inspired to try another. The surprising thing is that I banged this puzzle out in about 90 minutes during a particularly slow Monday happy hour a few months ago. I tried to do another one more recently and couldn't. Too hard or not in the zone and I don't own a pencil. Coming up with the clues is laborious but the most fun. Least fun: converting MS Word files to blog usable jpg files. So, no I wasn't working on this while I was away; I had it sitting on my desk finished for two months.

Not a man of the cloth? Why I'll have you know I'm ensconced in velvet as we speak. Mmmm .... velvet.

Maybe a better of way of saying it would have been that God loves meat eaters and is oddly unappreciative of gifts of vegetables or grain. Someone reminded me that God hates no one, well, ... there's plenty of deadly and random god-rage in the Old Testament, see Onan (hates masturbators) but more especially how do you explain the huge mass murder do-over of the Flood where He only saves Noah and his brood and Noah was a mean naked drunk. So to put things in more positive terms for my sermon on Sunday: God loves drunk meat-eating fornicators. Go forth and ... well ... Sláinte! Mmmmm .... velvet.

Hooray for drunken meat-eating fornicators! Sounds Mardi Gras or St. Patrick's Day or Cinco de Mayo. Is Rev. Ed George Costanza? So much velvet.

Rev. Ed sounds like a Jesuit to me. Too much education. Remember what happened to the builders of the tower of Babel, Rev. Ed!

No more Jesuits! I endured 8 years of Catholic school being taught by Jesuits, and then four years of Franciscan Friars.

Rock Chicklet, Hooray too!!!

OMG, thanks for the crossword. First one I've seen on The Sun's online version in years. Look forward to the next one, whenever it comes. Ooh! Ooh! Why not a "Top Ten Food-Related Crossward Puzzles?"

OMG wrote: "Least fun: converting MS Word files to blog usable jpg files."

What I do when faced with such a situation is to import the words into a text box in my drawing program (Corel Draw for me, others are out there) and then export as a jpeg. You can also do the grid at the same time and have only one file.

Supernerd time ... Here's my method:
I create a table in Word that looks like empty boxes. I top left justify the numbers in the boxes. I make the shading black for the black boxes. I downloaded a trial version of DOC-to-Image Converter which lets me convert a single page to a variety of image formats. It becomes a toolbar in Word. Easy. I export the image file. I crop, resize and sharpen in Picnik, a free easy-to-use online program. Save and done.

I finished the pen and paper part of Crossword #2 last night over multiple Clipper City Loose Cannon beers. Mmmm.... really really hoppy. The next puzzle will have significantly more demented clues. Hold onto your wigs and keys - it's going to be a rough one.

Nerd out.

OMG - so what are you going to do to get Snickers back? You should know he's in serious danger of lead poisoning from Thomas the Train. If that happens, he will have brain damage and won't be able to count anymore.

A commando rescue mission is in the works. Those suburban Maoists are tricky.

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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