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August 7, 2008

The answer and a fun new game

Here's Bucky's e-mail about his mystery menu:

What was it?  Serial killer John Wayne Gacy's "last meal."  (Gacy had, earlier in life, been a manager of a KFC, as I understand it.)
Yeah, pretty morbid.  I agree.  But it could segue into a discussion of "what would be your last meal, if you could pick a starter, an entree or two and a dessert, each one from any restaurant in town."
Just tryin' to think ahead...

Bucky is relatively new. He doesn't have any idea of just how morbid we can be. On his trip through all the archives, he must have missed this entry on Death Row Last Meals and Okra. 

But I like his twist on our old favorite, last meals: What would you get from what restaurant if you were on death row and still had an appetite? Let's make it local restaurants for the sake of argument.

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 5:19 PM | | Comments (60)


Yeah, it's odd that I missed that entry, since it was so recent. At that point my eyes were still relatively stable.

The winners are:

Rob in PCB FL (who got the basic answer in the second comment!)

Donny B who gets extra cedit for citing two serial killers with ties to Colorado (Bundy escaped--twice--from the Pitkin County (read:Aspen) jail before he made his way to Florida and McVeigh was tried and convicted right here in our dusty ol' cowtown.)

dcdiva who publicly admits knowing the answer without telling what it was but we believe her based on her additional death house trivia.

Here's the deal...I think if you're going to have a contest, you oughta have prizes. So, if the winners want to reveal their addresses to me, I will supply them with their prize by mail, within the next couple months or so.

(I understand if you don't want to, btw.)

But if you want to collect your prize, email me at:

with an address where I can send it.

Owl Man: welcome back. Thursdays are yours, once again. Susan WNAJ and I were just helping out.

My choice would be whatever restaurant in town serves a good file and/or knife filled cake. I don't think bullets would survive the baking well.

In Japan, they don't set a date. The prisoner is taken from his cell and quickly hung, after maybe years of waiting.

I can't decide if that is more or less cruel. Still don't like the death penalty for anyone.

Dang. The game was over before I could even get out of the suit and into BG mode and play. I want Bucky to mail me a prize. As long as it's not Rocky Mountain Oysters. Look out dcdiva!

Last meal:

Guacamole and chips from Arcos.

Shrimp stick with roasted garlic potatoes and greek salad (no olives) from Samos.

Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Tart from Spike & Charlie's.

No starter.

Rock (stripped bass for the foreign members, not originally from around here) stuffed with crab imperial (Chesapeake Bay blue crab, none of that Asian crap) baked, Maryland corn (white or bi-colour) and Maryland tomatoes (deep dark red.)

Desert: fruit salad: local peaches, some grapes, a few slices of banana.

That's scary, its really healthy. Maybe a Peeps or two added to desert.

What would my last meal be? Italian Cold Cut sub at Pastore's in Towson with everything, oil & vinegar instead of mayo, and extra olives. Add a bag of Utz chips, a real Coke and a double order of rice pudding. Okay, I'm ready to go....

Dottie, as I read your meal I totally forgot what I had come up with. Boy, that really sounds good...but not worth going to jail for!

See, y’all didn’t think I would be able to do this, since I’m not from there and the requirement was for local restaurants. But, hey, as much as some people hate them, there’s at least one value of chain restaurants. They enable communication between geographically diverse blog participants.

Before dinner: Macallan 50 year-old scotch. Poured from that Lalique decanter they bottle it in.

Starter: Bloomin’ Onion from Chili’s. (And if you want a good tip, warden, don’t forget the ranch.)

Entrée: The 24 oz. dry-aged Porterhouse, slathered in garlic butter, from the Capital Grille. (Hold the potato and veggies. I want a Five Guys bacon cheeseburger on the side.)

Dessert: a Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzard from Dairy Queen. A big one. (I like this not only because it is ummm…ummm…good, but for its entertainment value as well. You can’t say “Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzard” three times fast with an ice cream-chilled tongue, without sounding like Elmer Fudd. It would be nice to have a good laugh at my last meal.)

That would be my last meal. But I’d have a last request, too. I would not want to dine alone at my last meal. I like all of you, but there are three Sandboxers I bet would be especially great dining companions.

My last request: that they be allowed to join me for dinner.

I think there should be a new rule. If any of the regulars go away they should warn us on the blog, so that we don't worry.
Owl, we were worried!

Forget Owl--where is hmpstd?

Bucky -- be careful what you wish for, as it may come true. Since your starter comes from Chili's, you could wind up having Springs1 as one of the Sandboxers at your last meal, CONSIDERING how MUCH she LOVES Chili's (in SPITE of EVERYTHING they DO to HER there).

The watermelon salad at Cork's, duck confit at Petit Louie, and the Marjolaine at Brasserie Tatin.

I could die happy after that meal.

Forget hmpstd -- where is voodoopork?

Actually, Dahlink, I was tied up for the last week as instant hotelier and tour guide -- you know how it goes when out-of-towners visit. But, seriously, what happened to voodoopork and Amanda?

A friend of mine asked this question a month ago, so I don't even have to think about it: Starters--Dolmades from Desert Cafe and/or baked brie from John Steven, Ltd. Main dish: Koobiedeh with rice and grilled vegetables from The Orchard Market and Cafe. Dessert: Vanilla milkshake from the Bel-Loc Diner. Serve with a pot of iced Zeke's tea and a Resurrection.

Me for the win!

First of all, Bucky, there is no way I am giving out my home address to someone posting trivia questions about serial killers. Nor should you want to give out your email address to people who know so much about serial killers! What a twisted web we weave. :)

As for my last meal...

All from Asean Bistro
Appetizer: Beef Satay and Vietnamese spring rolls
Entree: Filet mignon in ginger and scallions
Dessert: Going low-rent: Italian ice from Rita's!

If we were allowed to go outside the Baltimore metro area, I would go to Lot 12 in Berkeley Springs, WV. Best restaurant I have ever been to. I'd get the toasted gnocchi, the NY Strip, and the chocolate brownie with peanut butter ice cream for dessert. AND you get honeydew sorbet in between courses!

Voodoopork and family are away. He may be watching, but has forbidden himself to join in during his family trip because he has cut off all electronic crutches for his kids, in a futile effort to get them to experience life in another place for a while. Good luck with that.

In Soviet Russia, last meal eats YOU!
Actually, in Maryland, there is no last meal beyond normal prison food. And I don't believe alcohol is allowed in any states.
Isn't there a never-ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden or something? So, see, if it never ends, they can't execute me.

...although Gary Gilmore had his uncle smuggle in 3 shots of whiskey. And Adolf Eichmann just drank half a bottle of an Israeli red wine.

Oh, and in Japan, they find out the morning of the execution and are, in fact, allowed a special last meal request.

Umm, so voodoopork can't post to the Sandbox because he wants the kids to stay away from the electronics? Sounds like he needs to invoke the golden rule of parenting: "Do as I say, not as I do."

dcdiva: I understand completely. That's the reason I set up the special mystery menu prize emailbox...I'm not giving out my email address. Even though it, too, is under a nom de guerre, so I can communicate as "Bucky" when I want to.

sean: the never-ending pasta bowl. Good answer. Made me laugh, early in the morning.

As for VDP's will power, you neglect to factor in the balancing influence of Mrs. Pork.

Thanks Bucky. Although between execution and spending the rest of my natural life eating Olive Garden, well, that'd be a tough call...

Or here's a thought - if McDonald's brings back that Monopoly game they have sometimes, get about 1,000 meals from there - one of them should have a Get Out of Jail Free card, right?

Lissa, "don't like the death penalty"?

Well, talk like that will get you noticed by the Maryland State Police.

will get you noticed ...

'I've got a little list, I've got a little list, and they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.'

The Lord High Executioner of Titipu

I liked Sean's never-ending salad bowl but that can get boring. So, I am going to invoke my last request and that is that my last meal will include one of everything from the menus of every restaurant that either EL has reviewed or that has entrees over $20. This way I could eat myself to death rather than have the doofuses screw up the procedure.

It would interesting to find out the Sandboxer crimes that got us to the last meal in the first place ...

Sandboxer crimes that got us to the last meal in the first place ...

Posting without thinking it through (or if the joke is actually funny, well not for OMG, VDP & RoCK.)

Yay For Me!

Wow...look: from 11:47 to 1:36, it was like a Robert Roll-Call.

Bucky - You're welcome to change your name to Bucky-Bob!

Bucky is having Bob envy. LOL

Bucky, do you remember the lawn chair Bob precision marching brigade. Did't that start in Boulder? All members had to be named Bob

Well, there's the Vail Lawn Chair Precision Drill Team that claims to have been the first one.

And then there's the bridge named Bob in nearby Avon.

But I don't know of a lawn chair marching band named Bob.

I think that all originated in the Vail Valley. I don't think Boulder had anything to do with it.

Well you know how the mind gets cloudy after spending too much time in Crested Butte in the early 70s.

I didn't mean to imply that Bob was in the name of the drill team, but that all the members were named Bob

Of course you're right, Regina. I've often told my husband--not entirely joking--that I won't die between 4 PM Saturday and 9 AM Tuesday because Pastore's is closed, and that sub,etc. is what I want for my last meal. If I'm too old to chew it, by golly I'll gum it!

I thought of sending you my address, but don't want to get a cow chip in the mail.

It will be edible. And non-toxic. And dead. (And not Rocky Mountain Oysters.) Office address, maybe? I understand why people don't want to be handing their address out.

But you got it on the second deserve a prize.

Hey guys, it's not like Springs1 is asking for your address. It's Bucky!

Okay Bucky,
I sent you my address, looking forward to the mystery prize.

Perhaps some other Rectangular State delicacy not previously mentioned?

Rob in PCB FL, if you disappear, we'll notify the authorities. I understand Ted Bundy was also quite the charmer. No offense, Bucky--it's just that we haven't met you in person! Although when I did meet fellow sand boxers RtSO was accompanied by a murder mystery. Hmmm...

Susan WNAJ: good, work, girl. Is it a marketing job you are in need of? Because you did a good job with this assignment. You can use me as a reference.

OK, now where did I put that anthrax...

Just kidding, Rob. No, really, just kidding.

I believe it has been mentioned once, but only briefly, not as a topic or subject of repeated comments.

Rob: I didn't get it.

thanks Dahlink!
I don't think Bucky has any nefarious intent though.

Bucky, when I get my prize, can I announce to the Sandbox what it is?

Dahlink - no offense taken. I understand completely. I doubt I'd give out my address, if the situation was reversed.

I'm being brave for the rest of the Sandbox.
We have a HazMatID tester at work I can use anyway.

Hopefully you received it now, I used the correct email address this time.

Dahlink - Jeffrey Dahmer was "quite the charmer" as well, and we all remember what his last meal before incarceration was ...

(cue spooky music)

Rob - you may disclose what your prize was or not...totally up to you.

OK, Piano Rob. If you insist: ♪ ♫ ♪ spooky music ♫ ♪ ♫

Hey Bucky,
I could list the ingredients of the prize and have the Sandbox guess what it is.

Like Bacon marinated in Bourbon.

you go, Rob.

Wait, Bucky, I know that tune ... isn't that "Rocky Mountain High"?

When I clicked on the link, it showed a broken Quicktime icon. Then it pretty much froze my machine.

Rob I love the way your mind works.

Sorry, Rob in PCB FL. It worked in the preview. Here's the link:

Rob in PCB wrote: I could list the ingredients of the prize and have the Sandbox guess what it is. Like Bacon marinated in Bourbon.

Damn, are a good guesser.

(Question for John McIntyre, if he's reading along: Is it improper form to always capitalize Bacon and Bourbon, as we tend to do in the Sandbox?)

It's probably not really the prize, but it is in my mind perhaps one of the few non-drinking uses of Bourbon of which I would approve.

PCB - if it is the prize, are you going to share?

Piano Rob - sorry, I missed your earlier post, while I was focusing on Bacon and Bourbon.

"Spooky music" and "Rocky Mountain High" are, indeed, very similar songs. But that was "Spooky music."

(Trivia for you: there's a line in "Rocky Mountain High," our official state song, that says, "I've seen it raining fire in the sky." That's a reference to the Perseid meteor shower that is going on right now and will peak this Tuesday and Wednesday. So, Mrs. Bucky and I are headed tomorrow for the mountains, where there is much less light pollution, to watch it.)

Bucky - I hope you and Mrs. Bucky have lovely clear weather to watch it. I'm afraid the forecasts for around here for the next few days are not encouraging.

Rosebud - I hope so, too. There was new snow on the highest peaks this morning, but I the storm system is moving east and should be out of the state by day's end.

Thanks for the link, it worked. Cool little tune.

Bourbon Girl,
Of course I'll share!

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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