Oh my, oh my, oh my. No restaurants for me, either. Sick, sick, sick.

I'm pretty sure that wait staff have actually done such (and worse) because I've seen account of it on Inside Edition (so you know it must be true!). But, my friend is so paranoid about it that she insists that I shouldn't even send my crab cake back to the kitchen when the inside was raw and cold because we were going to be spit victims!

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiter's had strings hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Hue's post is from the waiterrant blog - which makes it all the more disturbing!

A few months ago, a topic introduced by EL was derailed into a brief discussion of airline food (I might have been the derailer ... not sure). Anyway, when I was a flight attendant years ago accidents sometimes happened in the galley while setting up the food cart, which should make all of you happy that domestic airline service has declined to the point of having to pay for a prepackaged meal (if you even have that option).

I should say, these accidents were merely that - no malice intended. The few occasions of malice I witnessed were directed at the pilots, not the passengers. (That's meant to be comforting, but I understand it might not be).

I'm sure it probably happens, but I never did anything to my customers' food when I worked in restaurants and I never saw anyone else do anything to their customers' food. Although it was tough when I was really busy to have to deal with sending food back, if the customer was nice about it, I didn't fault them or want revenge. I want my food done right when I go out, so I can understand why people would want to send their food back. A decent server would realize that if they handle the situation well, the customer should appreciate it and not take it out on them (and hopefully tip well).

GACK!!

And you had to post this during Restaurant Week!

I'm a huge fan of Waiter Rant. He gives a good idea of the politics of the industry and what it's really like to work behind the scenes. He's a very good writer, and his blog has been totally compelling. While I'm glad to see him getting the money and recognition he deserves, I'm still sad that Waiter Rant blog, at least in its current form, will be no more.

I plan to buy his book, and I'd recommend it without hesitation. Spit tales are just a small part of what he writes about.

I have heard these stories and some others that are much worse . . . from people in the business.

That is why my wife and I stopped eating in restaurants years ago (except when we travel and it is absolutely necessary).

If you ever visited the kitchen in some of the chinese restaurants, you would most likely NEVER eat chinese again.

Happy Restaurant Week!

When I worked in foodservice, I don't think I ever saw any kind of spitting/intentional droppage of food or similar. I never minded someone sending something back either, as long as they had a reason and were nice about it.

"This crabcake isn't cooked in the middle" is a perfectly good reason, and something that I'd be very nice and apologetic about. "This steak tasted terrible, take it back" when you've eaten 3/4s of it and all of your potatoes... unacceptable. But I still never spit in their food...I just tried to avoid them for the rest of their dinner, much to their consternation, since they were usually running me like crazy.

Is this why some places have open kitchens? So you can watch and see if anyone hurls one at your soup?

Dahlink, I don't know if it's true but I've heard that indeed that is the basis for the open kitchen.

If The Sun still had a full research staff, I'd suggest you ask them to check deep in the pre-electronic clips for a story I seem to recall. It involved the trial of a Towson attorney who had somehow offended the wait staff at a restaurant there. My feeble memory recalls testimony that at least one waiter deposited a bodily fluid (maybe saliva, maybe not) in his soup.

Federal Hill Jim--I don't remember that story, but I'm willing to bet that someone in the sandbox does!

I've got a ten-spot that says hmpstd will be able to provide the details.

I believe there was also a case of a security camera at a fast food joint (Taco Bell?) that caught employees doing such things. Interesting that the company had a security camera on their own staff.

Retired In Elkridge - I'm not surprised. I work in a place that has security cameras in the bathrooms (not in the stalls) (so they say anyway!). Big Brother is alive and watching us!
BTW I heard that about Taco Bell too, I think it was within the last year.

While I vaguely recall an incident involving an attorney and a restaurant, I can't provide any details. Unfortunately, Towson is full of attorneys, many of whom, no doubt, are quite capable of offending even the most amiable of servers.

You might be thinking of this case against the Taco Bell in Nebraska (another of the big rectangular states out here.)