Goodbye to a friend of ours
I've shared my relief with you that The Sun didn't lose Midnight Sun Sam, and I'm secretly delighted that my grammar guru John McIntyre will still be around to harass me about using the word "upcoming," which is outlawed here. This outrages me so much I always try to slip it into my copy. (A former editor thought it sounded too much like "upchuck.")
But what I haven't told you is that Multimedia Editor Extraordinaire and Resident Cheeseburger, Wings, Crab Balls and Soon-to-Be-Cheese Expert John Lindner has decided to take the buyout and has to vacate the premises by this Friday. Besides writing Shallow Thought Wednesday, he is also the man with the tiny initials, jl, who comments frequently and insightfully.
I'm extremely unhappy about his leaving. I tried to talk him out of it, saying that he could write blog entries for me twice a week if he stayed; but for some reason that didn't convince him.
I knew it was bad when he came into work in a Hawaiian shirt one day, before he even told me he was going.
John promised me he will continue to contribute Shallow Thought Wednesdays, but that was before he got a nice new job last week. (Tell me again why I didn't go into information technology instead of journalism?) And he's even talking about starting a blog of his own. More about that later.
Will he still have time for us?
Anyway, here's his perhaps last Shallow Thought Wednesday. Or not. ...
I recently suffered an unforgettable lunch at oZ Chophouse in Fulton. Perhaps in the fullness of time the memories will fade. Disenchanting meal and lackluster service aside, however, some good presented itself: rocks in the men's room sink.
Planning to scribble a brief review on the inside of a stall, I walked through the door marked "M" – just opposite the one marked "W" – assuming the "M" stood for Men or Male or Masculine and not Mothers, Madams, or Matrons.
Now, I like a clean restroom as much as anyone, especially in restaurants. But this guy was so nice it stopped me. I stood there stunned as the door closed silently behind me. I thought I'd misread the letter and mistakenly sauntered into the women's loo. The place was warm, inviting, relaxing, soothing, well appointed, alluringly lighted. It was so nice I held my breath waiting for the scream. I didn't exhale till I spied the vertical mint receptacle.
They'd carefully placed rocks in the sink. Rocks! In the sink! And I'll tell you, they looked a lot more real than the obviously phony and clownishly gargantuan tree planted in the dining room. But I was afraid to touch them. What if some budding artist had spent weeks arranging them to make it look like they hadn't been arranged and I clumsily knocked one out of place?
In any case, I don't get it. Was I supposed to think I was washing my hands in a secluded brook, an estuary, stream, race, rill, rivulet or some other potamic flow?
In the end, the impression I was left with was that I had visited an upscale restroom with an afterthought eatery attached. I should have carved my review into the freakishly bucolic fence rails (don't believe me! check it out for yourself!), but I was traumatized by a geologic gestalt assault and hadn't the presence of mind to whip out my pen knife save in self defense.
Have I missed a trend?"
(Photo by John)
Categories: Shallow Thought Wednesdays
Comments
jl - all the best to you where ever you go. You will be missed!
Posted by: Rosebud | July 30, 2008 11:29 AM
jl, if you were half as good to work with as you are to read, it is a big loss for your co-workers at the Sun.
I'm sure we are all hoping that the addictive nature of D@L will keep you contributing here.
Posted by: Bucky | July 30, 2008 11:56 AM
I dunno...John, if we can READ the blog while we're at work, you can certainly WRITE while you're at work!
That is such a good point. EL
Posted by: Zevonista | July 30, 2008 12:44 PM
John - Congrats on your "nice new job" - let me know if you need an assistant! Seriously, it's been fun sharing tales of the homeland so please keep in touch.
Now, on to the tail of the rocks. It reminded me of a scene from "What's Up Doc" wherein Ryan O'Neal is worried that his musical rocks have been damaged and the cab driver says "I know what you mean, mister. I hate it when somebody touches my rocks."
Then again, I was going to point out that those items in the sink looked more like stones, but I'm going to stop now.
May Gemutlichkeit follow you (and Bon) everywhere!
Posted by: Piano Rob | July 30, 2008 12:51 PM
It has been a great pleasure reading your Shallow Thoughts and enjoyed your posts.
Best wishes on your new endeavors, jl!
hope you'll still visit the Sandbox now and then.
Posted by: Rob in PCB FL | July 30, 2008 1:01 PM
Some of the best writers have taken this buyout. I can't believe they were even offered.
They were offered to everyone, across the board. EL
Posted by: bryanintimonium | July 30, 2008 1:16 PM
Did they have to stop paying writers because they were spending so much to promote the apparently writerless B?
Posted by: chowsearch | July 30, 2008 2:35 PM
Hmm ... it's apparent that the proofreading staff left months ago. I have read the last two Sunday editions of the Sun almost word-for-word and I should have circled all of the typos I found and returned the paper for a refund.
One can only imagine what this rag will look like in the coming weeks. Thank God we'll still have EL.
Posted by: Piano Rob | July 30, 2008 2:37 PM
Sorry to go off topic, you guys, but I HAD to alert Elizabeth to some major B-more food dramz over at Washington Post. The paper profiled the Baltimore Farmer's Market and also had a food-centered chat, much about the market. The DC folks flipped out that the DC paper DARE to encourage people to go to Baltimore. It is too hilarious, go check it out.
Also, I had no idea Kieffer Mitchell was the guy at the Nutin But Juice stand!
Posted by: dcdiva | July 30, 2008 3:12 PM
Bless you all.
I'm not leaving the sandbox.
STW will continue till EL comes to her senses. I've told her that repeatedly but she refuses to take my word for it -- ever since I had the cholera that one week and moved my post a day late I've lost all credibility with her. She's so strict.
Posted by: jl | July 30, 2008 3:47 PM
So, Mrs. Bucky played golf this morning. While she was gone, I went out to the side of the driveway where we have rocks instead of grass and gathered a bunch up in a tupperware bowl. I put them in a cheesecloth bag that I fashioned right there on the spot and ran them through the dishwasher, on the really hot setting.
Then I put them in the bathroom sink.
When she got home, she eventually went in the bathroom, then yelled, "WHAT ARE ALL THESE DAMN ROCKS DOING IN THE SINK?
I told her it was a decorating idea I got from a really cool guy named John, in the Baltimore Sun blog that I'm always reading.
She says I'm not allowed to come here anymore.
Posted by: Bucky | July 30, 2008 4:29 PM
Wine in the keyboard alert!!!
Posted by: Rosebud | July 30, 2008 4:54 PM
Bucky, I'm really glad I didn't run an Evel Knievel stunt video.
Sometimes you have to pass good ideas past the Mrs. before attempting them at home.
I learned that lesson after I turned our oven into a powder coating processor. Great idea. Superlative execution. Wrong kitchen, if you know what I mean.
Posted by: jl | July 30, 2008 4:55 PM
Awh, Mrs Bucky, please let him come out and play. One of our bestest players is moving away and won't be here all the time, anymore, and gosh, we really need the Buckster, please. We won't let him do that again, honest. Pleeeeeease.
Posted by: Robert (the Single One) | July 30, 2008 5:30 PM
jl...WHAT? You can powder coat in the oven??? My god, does the Sun have any idea of the genius that is walking out that door on Friday?
RtSO...Not to worry. Mrs. Bucky and I have remained married all these years because, early on, we came to an understanding: I don't run her life and I don't run mine either.
No, wait...
Posted by: Bucky | July 30, 2008 7:42 PM
Bucky, you washed the rocks, so what is the problem? Tell her you were feng shuing the faucet to ensure no drought or something.
Posted by: Lissa | July 30, 2008 8:03 PM
I had to read this post again to make sure that what I thought it said was what it actually said. John L is such a wonderful addition to this sandbox. I hope that he will not get too busy at the new gig to speak with us as often as he does now. Best of luck, John!
Posted by: Regina | July 30, 2008 8:59 PM
JL - today's Shallow Thought was brilliant as usual, and caused the only laugh out loud moment of my day until Bucky's story.
Please promise you will stay around. Otherwise who else would the Owl keep confusing me with?
Very best wishes!
Posted by: LJ | July 30, 2008 9:10 PM
Rosebud - I wish I had your job - drinking before 5 p.m.???
Slainte JL! Best wishes on your bright future. Please don't forget us. We need your shallow thoughts.
Posted by: Bourbon Girl | July 30, 2008 9:12 PM
Bucky,
Indeed. You need a space that can accommodate 400 degrees farenheit. That would be the oven. A few simple adjustments -- like removing the racks and maybe welding (my preference) or bolting loops to hang your pieces from and voi-frickin-la: you got a powder coat operation.
The concept that I couldn't seem to get across (perhaps it was the heavy bandages swathing my jaw and nose?) was that you don't need the overn for keeps, right?
Once the business is built up, you'll need a larger space. I found a tool shed or garage works well (but, again, that idea met with ... "controversy").
In retrospect, I should have, by way of peace offering, powder coated some of her older jewelry. I think that would have one her over.
Posted by: jl | July 30, 2008 9:49 PM
Bourbon Girl - you don't want my job, believe me. I'm here from 7:00 to 4:30. One of the few good points of my job is that it is a mere 5 miles away from my home.
I had just gotten in and sat down to unwind with a glass of wine when Bucky nearly caused a keyboard disaster.
Posted by: Rosebud | July 31, 2008 8:37 AM
If there were stones in the sink - what the heck did they have in the urinal?
Posted by: Beer Me | July 31, 2008 12:16 PM
JL, ALL the best in your new venture! But, let me echo everyone else's pleas not to abandon the Sandbox on Shallow Thought Wednesdays.
Bucky, your story made me laugh out loud...first time in days! Thanks! Tell your Hon you HAVE to stay in the Sandbox...we NEED your humor!
Posted by: Dottie | July 31, 2008 1:33 PM
Hey Bourbon Girl,
I get into work real early and am off by 2:30 (if I'm lucky), most days its like 3:30.
I live about 3 miles away so I'm home by 3:35 and a glass of Maker's in my hand by 3:40. Usually rocks, sometimes neat. I thought that was early until I saw Rosebud's post. Good for you Rosebud :)
And Bucky, thanks for the story and I join the others in pleading to Mrs. Bucky to let you stay.
Posted by: Rob in PCB FL | July 31, 2008 1:54 PM